The cold onshore breeze blew right through Sunghoon’s shirt. The dampness of the sand was making its way through his skinny jeans and he hugged his knees close. The waves were gently drenching the sand. The warm orange sunlight was swallowed by the horizon. The bright sunny day engulfed in darkness. A beautiful darkness. The dark sky was painted with thousands of twinkling stars and a smiley crescent moon. Yet, the beautiful night felt like a blank, black canvas to him.

Sunghoon stared blankly at night sea.

The night appeared calm and quiet. Only the sound of waves crashing onto the shore and the wind blowing can be heard.

Nonetheless, his heart trembled with anxiety, angst, and sadness.

He scooped up a handful of sand and let it trickled through his fingers. As he watched the sand slowly slipping away from his fingers, he remembered a quote he once read.

“Relationships - of all kinds - are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”

~ Kaleel Jamison ~

He never try to own nor claim Jiwon as solely his. Even how much he love to but he understood that Jiwon’s life does not revolve around him only.

BUT……….

Jiwon is his life, the moment he confessed. 

He gave his everything to him.

He was his first love.

His first partner.

His first boyfriend.

He gave his first kiss to him.

The first man to own his heart and body.

YET………

He was the first man who made his heart and mind confused.

He was also the first man to break his heart, shattered it to pieces.

The first man made him cried.

Everything that happened between them were the first time for him.

The scene that happened few days ago came back to him.

~~~FLASHBACK~~~

“Nice to meet you. I’m Yoonji, Jiwon’s fiancée.” She introduced herself, smiling confidently.

Sunghoon and Jaeduck startled with her introduction. Jaeduck turned to look at Sunghoon before looked at her again.

Sunghoon glanced at his laptop. The woman in the pictures was the same woman standing in front of them at this moment.

He gripped the edge of his table strongly.

“What… did you… say?” Sunghoon stuttered.

“I’m Jiwon’s fiancée.” She repeated it and continued. “And I’ve come to deal with you.”

“Deal with me?”

“Would it be possible if we talk privately? Only both of us.” She asked.

Sunghoon looked at her, then looked at Jaeduck.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to cause a scene here. I didn’t come to fight you. I came with peace. Well, except the way I barged in.” She said as Jaeduck seemed reluctant to leave them.

“Hoon-ah, I’m going. If you need anything, just call me.” Jaeduck said and walked out from the room to give them time to settle their matters.

“Okay. Thank you hyung.” Sunghoon nodded.

“Ms. Yoonji, have a seat please.” Sunghoon said and gestured to the chair in front of him.

“Would you like anything to drink?”

“No. It’s okay. I’m good.” She settled herself on the chair.

Sunghoon sat in front of her. His heart trembled. Pondered of what will she do or say next.

They silent for few moments before she finally spoke.

“So, how long have you known Jiwon?” She asked.

“More than 2 years now.”

“Did he ever tell you about his life at Hawaii before?”

“I don’t think so. I only knew that his family is there and they run a business there.”

“Oh, he did mention his family to you? Did he ever mentioned me to you?”

“He didn’t exactly tell me about his family. He just mentioned it briefly and I never questioned further. And as far I remember, I never heard about you or his engagement.”

“I expected that.” She huffed and continued.

“The moment I heard about you, I felt the urge to know you. I want to meet the person who made Jiwon refused to come back to Hawaii and the sudden change of heart.”

“You heard about me?”

“I know that both of you are in relationship and you are his Darling.”

“How do you…?”

“Erm...how did I know about your relationship?” She smirked and continued. “You see, Jiwon and I, we are much, much closer than what you think of. Else, how would I know about you if it wasn’t him who told me?”

“But what surprised me is he didn’t tell you about me yet he told me everything about you and him.”

Sunghoon felt like his heart being stabbed, shattered, and broken to pieces the moment she said that.

“Do you really think he is serious about you?”

“What are you trying to say?” his voice trembled.

“I mean, if he is serious about you, he will let you know my existence. He should knew sooner or later this will happen.”

“Besides, I think your relationship is just an entertainment and escape from reality to him. Don’t you think so?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I know you were helping him on his previous novel. Perhaps from that he discovered that you actually fall for him. Furthermore, with him here alone and far from family, it gets a little lonely but if you can accompany him, why not?”

Sunghoon stupefied and shocked and was, for a moment, loss of words.

“Also, what makes you think he is serious about you? He is someone way out of your league, you both came from different social class. Do you think your relationship can be accepted? Please don’t be a delusional. Don’t you agree I’m more appropriate candidate for him instead of you?”

Sunghoon clenching his fists. Even how much he wanted to defend their relationship, everything that she said and uttered were like a needle stabbing to his heart.

Tiny but painful.

 “I’m not trying to break the friendship between both of you. I just simply want to do what is right and I’m sure you have the very right to know it.” She stood up.

“Oh. I forgot to inform. I don’t think Jiwon will come back soon. You might be informed by him later.”

“Anyway, I hope you’ll think about this situation through, consider it thoroughly, together with all its possible effects or consequences. We might be seeing each other again. Have a nice day.” With that she walked away, leaving Sunghoon heart broken.

And true enough, shortly after Sunghoon received a message from Jiwon telling him that he had to extend his stay at Hawaii due to certain circumstances. When he asked what matters, his reply only “I’ll let you know later.”

~~~END FLASHBACK~~~

Without realizing, Sunghoon cried himself empty. He once again broke down and sobbed like a child.

Ever since that, he has been crying and isolated himself from others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mom, Dad. I have to go back to Korea soonest possible.”

“What?” His dad questioned, surprised at his sudden words.

“I’ll explain it later. Right now, I have to go.” Jiwon said, hugged his mom and dad, and left them hanging and dumbfounded.

He immediately run to his room, packed his stuff and run downstairs.

“Mister, John already waiting for you in the car at the entrance,” informed the maid.

“Thank you.” He instantly run and settle himself in the car.

“Airport, John. As fast as you can.” He instructed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello, Daniel K. Inouye International Airport. Lydia speaking. How may I assist you?” The call center’s operator asked.

“Hello. Hi Lydia. I want to book a flight to Seoul today. Could you please check for me the earliest flight?”

“Hi Sir. One second, I’ll check it for you.”

“Sir, the earliest flight to Seoul would depart within 45 minutes. I’m afraid that you are already late for that flight.”

“Okay. What about the next flight?”

“The next flight is 3 o’clock in the afternoon, sir. Do you want to book it, sir?”

“Yes, please book one seat for business class.”

“Sure. May I have your details, sir?”

“Yes, a second please.” Jiwon said and proceed to inform all necessary information requested by the operator.

“Okay sir. You may check in at the counter or self-check in counter later.”

“Okay. Thank you for your assistance.”

“Your welcome, sir. Have a nice journey.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After 40 minutes, they arrived at the Daniel K. Inouye International Airport.

“Thank you, John. Thank you so much.” Jiwon said and patted his shoulder before got out from the car and walked to the entrance.

The time now is 11 o’clock. He had 4 hours before his flight. He decided to check-in first to avoid any unexpected incident later as he could not afford to miss this flight. He can feel that this is the matter of life or death. He convinced that the reason Sunghoon is avoiding him related to Eunji’s visit to Korea.

Before that, he needed to verify his supposition.

“Hello, Jiwon-ah.”

“Hello, Jiyong hyung.”

“What happened? Dad called me just now and said that you’re going back to Korea today?”

“Yes, hyung. Something happened.”

“What?”

“Before that, hyung. Did you tell Eunji about my relationship?”

“Why? Did she say anything?”

“No, hyung. She went to Korea few days ago.”

“Huh? What?”

“Yes, and now I could not contact Sunghoon. I believe Eunji went to Korea and met him.” Jiwon sighed.

“I’m sorry, Jiwon-ah. She came to me before and told me that she knew you had a lover at Korea. She said she heard your conversation that night, at the cocktail party.” Jiyong explained and continued.

“She insisted to know about him and when I refused it, she threaten to tell our parents about this. I know you haven’t tell them yet, so I gave up and told her everything she wanted to know.”

Jiwon huffed.

“Erm…Hyung, did you tell her that Sunghoon is a guy?”

“No, but I did give her his name and his workplace. I bet she figured everything herself based on my information.”

“I think so. Else she won’t suddenly fly to Korea.” Jiwon ruffled his hair, troubled.

“She might already confronted Sunghoon as we speak. It worries me know