The lullabye sung in this chapter is by Billy Joel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=AU&hl=en-GB&v=dcnd55tLCv8

The lyrics sung at the beginning of the chapter is from Seung Gi’s latest hit song.  To the story!

“Each moment, I thiiiiiink of you!”

Shin Hye scrunched up her nose and covered her ears.  The singing was awful.

“That voice that quietly rang with a low tooooone.”

“Aish!  Teacher Jung save me,” she grumbled to herself, giving her travel companions the evil eye.

Eun Ji Won, former member of CNPink, was the first to notice it.  He adjusted his thick black glasses so that they sat just below his eyes and grinned at her.  “Not enjoying it Park Shin Hye?  Never mind.  You’ll like it better when you hear me rap.”

“Rap!”  A man with a premature balding problem, a round head and a smiling mouth that was too big for his face turned to join in the conversation.  “This is supposed to be a romantic song.”  He lifted his chubby arms up in the air like a bird.  “Listen...eeeeven your resemblance to the spring sunlight.  You always brightly shone on my dayyyyy.”

Ji Won’s glasses slid down his nose.  “Su Geun, I never knew you felt that way about me.”

“I love you man,” wailed the ahjusshi.

“I love you too baby!”

Shin Hye ducked as the two boys hugged each other and wiped each other’s false tears from their puffy cheeks.

“It’s not a Lovefest without me!”  The bus rattled as a giant of a man ran over to tackle his friends.  Shin Hye remembered him being introduced to her as Kang Ho Dong.

“It’s almost like old CNPink times,” sighed Su Geun, patting his friends on the back.

“Almost.”  Ho Dong ruffled Seung Gi’s hair.  “Where’s Yong Hwa these days?  I thought he’d be keeping close to you – making sure that you become less of a ty singer.”

Seung Gi lowered his eyes.  “Stuff happened.  It’s not good for him to see any of you right now.  That’s why I asked you to drive around the school until he went off.”

Shin Hye gaped at him.  This was news to her.

“Why?”  Not one to let anything go, Ho Dong dug his fingers in Seung Gi’s ribs.  “Speak up!  What happened to Yong Hwa choding?  Why didn’t you let him see us?”

“Does he think we blame him or something?” asked Ji Won.  “We’re not stupid.  Shin Hye-ssi’s sister needed-”

“Sshhhhh!”  Seung Gi looked as fierce as an angry snake.  “Not now!  I haven’t told her yet.”

Shin Hye sat up and stared at him.  Seung Gi had been hiding something else from her.

“Amazing.”  Su Geun admired her face.  “She’s really mad at you Seung Gi.”

“She’s making fists.  Fists of murderous intent!” added Ji Won.

“Kill him in his sleep later.  Have fun with me first,” said Ho Dong.  “So, you are the older sister?”

Shin Hye breathed in and tried to let go of her temper on the out-breath.  “Yes, by about ten minutes.  How do you all know her?  She wasn’t a fan of CNPink.”

“You’re twins?” Ji Won’s eyes got bigger.  “Sorry, I don’t remember her well.  So she looks exactly like you?”

Shin Hye shrugged and then nodded.

“Whaaaaaa!” chorused the three, leaning in closer to inspect her face.

“Amazing!  Road trip over!  Seeing Shin Hye is the same as seeing Shin Hye’s sister!” announced Ji Won.

“Shin Hye!”  Ho Dong took a picture of her with his phone.  “Can you sing?”

She blinked.  “No.  Teacher Jung can-I mean-”

“Wait-wait-wait!  Teacher Jung?  Yong Hwa’s your teacher?”

Ji Won grinned.  “.”

“Do you like him?”  This question came from Ho Dong.

Shin Hye looked away.  She could feel herself blushing.

“Aahhhhhh!”  The three guys pointed at her red cheeks with their big fingers.

“Phew!”  Ji Won pulled his glasses off his face.  “I thought she and Seung Gi were dating.”

“I thought she liked Seung Gi too,” reflected Su Geun.

Ho Dong laughed.  “Smart girl, Shin Hye.  Yong Hwa was the talent of our band, Seung Gi was just the groupie.  Was it his singing that turned you off?  He’s really bad, isn’t he?”

“I am not!  Stop saying that!” protested the junior.

Ho Dong blinked.  “Seung Gi?  Can you sing?”

“Each moment, I thiiiiink of-“

“He still can’t sing.”  Ho Dong waved a dismissive hand to shut him up.  Seung Gi pouted, and Shin Hye had to smother a laugh.

“Shin Hye, we’ve practiced a special song for your sister,” continued Ho Dong.  “You’ll like it too!  Teacher Jung Yong Hwa used to sing it sometimes at performances.”

“Seong-saeng-nim...that’s so y,” reflected Ji Won.

The guys sniggered, and Shin Hye had to bury her face in her hands.

When they arrived at the specialist hospital, Shin Hye felt the familiar butterflies in her stomach.  All she could think about was the last time she had been there.  She trailed behind the group of boys stopping from room to room, trying to find her sister in the faces of all the patients.

Shin Hye handed in the paperwork.  The nurses glanced at Shin Hye and their eyes widened in recognition.  Being twins had its advantages.  No one doubted that she was the next of kin.

One older nurse directed the boys to the enclosed garden.  Her sister was resting out there for the afternoon.

Shin Hye waved Seung Gi and the ex-bandmates off and then followed the nurse to her sister’s empty room.  The path was full of long-term patients.  All had similar backgrounds to her sister.  Girls with voices in their heads.

At one turn, Shin Hye froze.  She thought she heard her sister’s shouts from somewhere in front, but she looked around and realised that she was standing in the very spot where they had last seen one another.  It had been many years ago, but the shouts had come fresh from her memory.

“Are you okay?” asked the nurse.

“Yes.”  Shin Hye turned around and looked back.  Somewhere nearby was a chair, where she had sat for hours after her sister had been sedated.  She rounded a corner and found it; a hard park bench that had somehow found its way indoors.

The nurse watched in silence as Shin Hye eased herself into it and closed her eyes.  She remembered seeing a boy about her age talking to the police nearby.  He looked familiar.

“Yong Hwa?”  She couldn’t believe it.  The nurses had later told her that he was the one that had found her sister, but she had been too upset to care about knowing his name then.

Now she recognised him in her mind’s eye.  A younger Teacher Jung.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she murmured.

“Sorry?” The nurse looked worried.

“Nothing.”  Shin Hye got back on her feet.  “Please show me her room.”

Some time later, Shin Hye emerged from her sister’s bedroom and met the nurses back at their nursing station.  The girls and ahjummas were distracted, listening to the song being sung outside.

Shin Hye paused.  The song the boys had prepared resounded with her, but she couldn’t make it out fully from behind the glass doors.

She put down her bag and went outside.  The garden was overgrown with some sort of yellow flowers.  Their scent was strong and she had to hold her nose before she sneezed.  As she continued towards the sound, she used their foliage to hide in when the boys came into sight.

Shin Hye’s twin was smiling.  Her eyes were alight with it.

The song was their birth mother’s lullaby.  Yong Hwa had played it for her once until she’d begged him to stop.  It had reminded her of the pain of losing her family.

However, for her sister, it had always reminded her of happier times, and Shin Hye was glad it was that way.

“Goodnight my angel now it’s time to sleep,” Shin Hye mouthed along with the four boys.  “And still so many things I want to say.”

“I promised I would never leave you,” sang Seung Gi, taking her sister’s hand.  “And you should always know.”

“You’ll always be a part of me,” crooned the four.

Shin Hye sighed.  You’ll always be a part of me.

As if her twin had heard her heart, the girl looked around.  Shin Hye pushed further back into the branches and held her breath.  She didn’t want to upset her twin by showing her face.

The moment passed, Shin Hye’s sister stopped looking, and the boys finished the song.  Shin Hye hurried back inside the hospital to finish the paperwork.

Seung Gi found Shin Hye curled up across two bus seats.  Her red-rimmed eyes were staring at nothing, even when he stood over her.

“Thank you.  It was good to see her again,” he began.  “The guys will be back soon, and then we can go find somewhere to sleep.  Those guys – Tch - they’re flirting with the nurses like they’ve never seen girls before.”

Shin Hye continued staring at nothing.  “So we have time for you to tell me what you’ve been hiding from me.”

He bit his lip.  “How about tomorrow morning.  You’ll be less tired.”

She turned her unhappy eyes on him.  “Years ago, my sister went missing for almost a month.  I nearly went crazy looking for her.  Was she with you all that time?”

He had the decency to bow his head before speaking.  “Yes.”

“Did you at least take care of her well?”

“She was well taken care of, but not by me.  I was too young then.”

“By Yong Hwa, right?”  The pieces of the puzzle were coming together.

Seung Gi gaped.  “Yes.  I begged him to.”

She closed her eyes as she tried to make sense of it.  “I’m still in the dark.  Tell me what happened?”

“We were friends at school.  She came to me one day and told me that her sister was trying to lock her up.”

Shin Hye nodded.  “I’d found a place for her here.  It was the last straw on months of hard days.  She was refusing to take her meds again.  It was only a matter of time before the voices came back and told her to do...things.”

“I knew my parents wouldn’t let me keep her.  So I sent her to my Hyungs.  I was sure that they’d help her.  But well...did you see the news?”

“No.”

“She found them in a public place.  Teacher Jung protected her identity and they took her into the building of one of their performances.”

“I didn’t see it.”  Shin Hye bit her lip.  “So that’s what happened.  My sister was the one that got the band in trouble.”

“No, it was my fault.  Yong Hwa wanted to take her to the police, but I begged him to protect her.  He took her in against the advice of Ho Dong Hyung and the others.  They still thought she was a crazy fan.”

Shin Hye shook her head.  “But I had her picture put in the paper, on the news.  Didn’t he see them?”

“I don’t know.”  Seung Gi’s head dropped lower.  “It didn’t matter if he did.  We had him convinced that you were a bad person.  That was, until she started to change.”

Shin Hye pulled her knees to her chest.  “What happened then?”

“I was a kid, and I’d never seen her act like that before.  She was scared, all the time.  She was even scared of me.  Sometimes she ran out and it took us hours to find her.  She’d fight Hyung, kicking and screaming that you were trying to kill her.  I was helpless, but he knew what to do.  He got her home and sang that lullaby to her.  It only worked at night though.”

Shin Hye wiped the shed tears gathering under her eyes.  “And then?”

“And then...”  Seung Gi cringed.  “I was too scared to see her anymore.  I stopped coming to visit her after school and left Hyung to look after her.”

“And?”

“And...”  Seung Gi plonked down the bus seat opposite.  “He came to see me after school one afternoon and told me he was taking her back to her family.  He said that she was sick and needed more help than he could give her.”  He swallowed.  “I’m not proud.  I said horrible things to him, telling him what a bad person he was to give her back to her sister.  He said nothing.  He didn’t even look at me.  I didn’t see him for a while after.  As far as I know, he took her to you.”

Shin Hye hugged herself.  “Yes.  I got a call from the police that someone had brought her in.  She was in a bad state because she’d been off her meds for so long.  I told them to take her straight here.  I left Min Hyuk with a neighbour and met her here with people all around and...he was there, but I didn’t even remember it until today.”

“Shin Hye, I don’t know what happened to him in that time he was alone with her, but it knocked him down.  There is...something else I should tell you.”

“Something else?”

“Shin Hye.  Teacher Jung sees your sister when he looks at you.”

She paled.  “What?”

“I don’t know how much, because he never guessed your true age, but it’s why he looked out for you from the start.  It’s why he was convinced that you belonged with me.  And it’s why he didn’t want to believe that he’d fallen in love with you.”

Shin Hye choked back more tears with her hand over .  “Then, does he think he’s in love with my sister, or is he in love with me?”

“Truthfully.  I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?  You must have some idea!”

“Noona.  I don’t know.  It’s what’s been bothering me from the moment he started to get better.”

“Then I’ll go and find out.”  She grabbed her bag and headed out of the rented bus.  “Is there a bus stop nearby?”

“Shin Hye.  Stop and rest.  You can travel tomorrow.  Hyung already hates me enough.”

“Do you think I can live not knowing for a whole night?  Would you be able to stand it?”

His expression was guilty.  “What will you do if he says something you don’t want to hear?  Will you do something crazy?”

“Maybe I will!”

Seung Gi sighed.  “I’m not going to worry.  Hyung will protect you no matter who he thinks you are.  You have the face.”

Shin Hye glared at him and hurried down the street without saying goodbye.

If Yong Hwa loves my sister, she thought while rubbing her cold arms, then I will bring him to her.

It was evening at Saint Blossoms.  Yong Hwa had made sure that the entire Hibari dorm was fast asleep before going to his office in the next building.  It had only been a day and he was already worried sick about her.  He hoped that work would help get him through the night.

Yong Hwa flipped on the lamp and rolled up his sleeves.  His desk was covered with paperwork, student papers and confiscated mobile phones.  It had been a busy day; he’d had to look after the jocks as well as his own dorm, all while deflecting texting rumours about him kissing a ghost during the joint-school dance.

A ghost.  He chuckled, and leaned one arm against the window frame.  Shin Hye was safe once again.  What a strange woman she was.  She could be a ghost or a girl if she wanted to.

There was a soft knock on his door.

“Door’s open,” he answered.

Shin Hye appeared with one bag on her shoulder.  She looked drained.  Some of the curl had gone out of her hair.  She opened , but nothing came out.

Without even having to think about it, he went straight over, pushed the door shut behind her and pulled her against him.  Her hands went up to hold him, and he could feel her struggling with something.  She wasn’t even taking a breath.

“Breathe,” he whispered.  “Tell me what’s happened.”

“No.”  She shook her head against his chest.

“Look at me.”

“No!” She wrested him off her and feinted to the right side of the room.  “I need to talk to you about something else, and we can’t look at each other w-while we’re talking.”

“Why?  Am I that bad to look at?”

“It’s the opposite.  You know it’s the opposite.”

“Then wha-”  He reached out to clasp her hand, and to kiss her if he could.

“Don’t!”  She backed up one step.  “Don’t touch me.  I haven’t seen you for hours.”

“Come here then.”

“I missed you, but if you touch me then I’m afraid I’ll lose my resolve and let you do-do anything you want.”

He choked on a laugh, and thought of a line she’d said to him before.  “So?  Are you scared I’m going to eat you up?”

“No!”

“Then you think I’m going to try things now that I know you’re an adult?  Want me to send you to Teacher Lee for detention again to knock some sense into you?”

“Are you scolding me right now?”  A small smile appeared on her pale face.

“Why not?”  He pulled out his office chair.  “For an adult you’re not really acting like one.  I’ll sit here.  Happy?”

She bit her lip and tried not to look at him.  “You have to listen to the end.”

“I promise I won’t move or look at you while you tell me what’s going on.  Okay?”

“Okay.”

Shin Hye let out a long breath of air and moved to stand just behind Yong Hwa’s chair.  She wanted to touch his short chopped hair, but she had to get through what she had to say, and she couldn’t say it if she touched him.

“A few years ago.  You took care of a scared girl who told you that her sister was trying to lock her up.”

Even from where she was standing, she could see the smile fading from his face.

Shin Hye felt her courage failing, but she urged herself to move on.  “This girl heard voices that other people couldn’t hear.  Some of the voices didn’t say very nice things, and she could become a danger to others as well as herself.”

Yong Hwa’s left hand twitched.

“You took care of her, all by yourself, even when it ruined your career in music.  She frightened you, and you didn’t understand what was wrong with her, but you knew she needed more help than you could give her.”

He clasped both hands together to hide the trembling that was starting in his fingers.

“You reported her found to the police, and even went with her to the hospital bed organised by her sister.  My guess is that she was already fighting you when she saw the place.  Maybe she was even begging you not to give her up.  That day must have been hard for you.”

His head started lowering over his hands.  She wanted to hold and comfort him, but she held strong.

“When this year’s semester started, you saw a girl that looked just like her.”  She kneeled down behind his chair.  “What happened then?”

Yong Hwa didn’t look, but he could feel her kneeling down beside him.

“Everything happened,” his voice sounded foreign to him.  “I thought you were something sent to haunt me.  Then I found out you were real.  You are everything to me.”

From the corner of his eye, he watched Shin Hye slump, heartbroken, and he couldn’t understand what he’d said wrong.

He frowned, hating that he couldn’t comfort her.  “Can I turn around?”

“Not yet!”  She wiped her silent tears on her sleeve.

Yong Hwa unclasped his hands and dropped them down to his lap.  “You were beautiful; all those years ago when you cried until I thought you’d run out of tears.  You were so beautiful.”

Shin Hye’s crying became more pronounced.  He noticed that she insisted on keeping her hand clamped over her nose and mouth.  She didn’t want him to hear her.

“You thought I was beautiful?  Even with the voices making me do bad things?” she gasped out in a strangled voice.

He’d had enough.  She was crying and he couldn’t sit still and listen to it without doing anything.  He pushed the chair aside and pulled her hands from her face.

“What voices?  Are you trying to fool me right now?”  He wiped the tears off her face and lifted her chin.  “I’m talking to the girl who was crying in the chair that day.  The sister that everyone had been telling me was so wicked.”

She finally looked at him.  “What?  But Seung Gi said-”

“That punk says a lot.  I know it’s you.”

Shin Hye said nothing.

“For a while there, I thought you were your sister, and I needed it to be her because I had so much to make up for.  It didn’t matter that the age was wrong.  Still...do you remember when you almost cried on the stage that day?  I started to recognise you even then.  You’re nothing like her.”

He pulled her up onto his knees and he touched his forehead to hers.  “You were rude and had trouble hiding your feelings in front of the other girls.  You tricked me into starting up a band and taking interest in my students.  You cut my hair and then won a dancing competition.  You put your arm in mine when you thought there was a chance, and avoided me when you thought you would bring me pain.  I need that girl to live, no one else can replace her, understand?”

She sniffed and nodded.

“Can I kiss you?”

Shin Hye’s wet lashes brushed against the bridge of his nose.  Her cheeks grew red under the tears.

Smiling, he reached up and played with a strand of her hair, and he watched her almond eyes soften.  Her lashes were flitting up and down in expectation.

His left hand moved around under her chin and he kissed with a light touch.  The moment he made contact, she sighed and kissed him back.  Her hands moved to wrap around his shoulders, while his right hand moved to grasp her waist before she slid off his knees.

He finished the kiss off by taking a small taste of her with him, and then closed his eyes to savour it.

“I have something else to tell you.  It’s about Min Hyuk,” she whispered, not quite in control of her voice.

His eyes opened.  “What?  She’s an adult too?”

“No.  She’s a boy.”

Yong Hwa couldn’t help it.  He ducked his head and burst out laughing.

“Y-yah!”  Shin Hye hit him on the chest.  “You’re not going to expel him or anything, are you?”

“He’s a boy.  That makes sense in strange way.  Is he your brother?”

“Yes.  And he’s a good one too, sometimes.”

His face turned serious.  “Wait, he’s a boy?  Oh God.  Komari!”  He scrambled to his feet and helped Shin Hye up with him.

“What about Komari?” she asked.

“He’s been sleeping with Komari all this time.  I have to separate them!”

“Komari in danger because of my dongsaeng?  Not possible.”

Yong Hwa folded his arms across his chest.  “You think your brother is an innocent?”

“Pfft!”  She blew her hair out of her eyes.  “My little brother is a , but he’s not dangerous to girls.”

“Why?”

“He idolises you, and you’re...”  She looked away.

He uncrossed his arms.  “What?”

She blushed.  “You haven’t even kissed me properly.”

He his most disarming smile.  The one he used before humiliating girls for daring to get a crush on him.  Shin Hye grew uneasy as he walked over and backed her into the edge of the desk.

His whole body leaned over her.  “Properly?”

Her blush darkened, but she said nothing.

Both of his hands came up to cradle her cheeks before she could lean back any further against the table’s surface.  He kissed her softly once, twice, and then he felt parting for him.

He pushed in and her whole upper body jolted as he took a long deep taste of her.

Her fingers gripped the desk, making it creak.  Something sitting on the desk fell onto the floor and her hand went from the desk to his chest.  A little noise like a moan hummed in and she started kissing him back.

He let his hands fall and trace their way down her body as they kissed.  To his surprise, she threw her arms around him and pulled herself closer to him.  Aroused, he kissed her more forcefully and freely moved his hands over her, all the way down to her thighs.

When he chose to end it, she buried her face in his shoulder.

He the lower curve of her back.  “You’re getting too bold.  Why don’t you just tell me to stop?”

“I don’t want to stop,” she whispered.

“You’re tired,” he scolded, her hair.  “I’m not going to go any further.”

She nodded against him.  “Then, can I sleep in your room?”

His hands tightened around her back and he inhaled between gritted teeth.  “No.  Go to your dorm room and lock me out you suicidal girl.”

A chortle escaped her.  “Then, I’ll just dream about you holding me while I sleep.”

“Like you dreamed about him that one night?  No thanks.”

“What?”  She smiled and tilted her head to face him.  “Aaaaah.  You mean that so very great dream that you woke me up from?  He was climbing into my bed and-”

“I don’t want to hear it!” he growled.

“Hmmmm.”  She tapped her lips with two fingers.  “I’m not sure it was him.  I think if I slept in your room then I’d remember.  Your room is so much more like a home than mine.  I can’t sleep with Hibari and all the pink on the walls.”

“Go to bed.  Your bed.”  He kissed her forehead and settled for clasping her hand.  “I’ll ask you another time, when I don’t want to make you completely sorry afterwards.”

She blushed and nodded.  Her eyes dropped down to their joined hands.  In spite of his firm words, he didn’t want to let her go.

“Shin Hye.”  He tilted his head to see her eyes.  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but what are your plans from tomorrow?”

“I can’t be with you as a student.  So I’ll make arrangements to leave the school tomorrow.”  She sighed.  “I’ll tell the girls the truth about me too.  I owe it to them.  As for Min Hyuk, please let him stay on as a girl.  He’s happy here and he’s well behaved.”

“Are you sure about that?”  Yong Hwa squeezed her hand.  “He’s been having problems of his own about lying.”

“He has?”

“Yes, and what about the dreams you had for your future?”

She reached up and touched his cheek.  “I thought the only way to be happy was a chance to go back to school.  I was too busy looking after my sister and brother to do well the first time.  Now...”  Her thumb his jawline.  “My dreams have changed.”

He took her hand and kissed her soft wrist.  “Are you sure you won’t look back and regret it?”

She gave her head a fervent shake.  “Never.”