Chin struggled to keep her drooping eyelids open enough for her to squint at the screen in front of her. She needed to make sure that the contracts for the hotels, transportation, and other accommodations for the group’s stay in Chile and Brazil on March are all in order—she was trying her best to remember what the girl from accounting sent her that didn’t match the memorandum of agreement that they signed, but all she saw were swimming letters and numbers.

Her doctor said that her hormones would be whacked by her 8th week; fatigue was normal. But for someone who’s been spending her working days alone and stuck to her desk, she felt like she should have more energy.

The weekly pregnancy journal said pretty much the same thing. It nestled on top of her paperwork, her furry bookmark dangling from the side. Namjoon had been very thoughtful, leaving the books in her apartment. Learning is half the battle, his note had said, signed with just a crude drawing of a bear with two X’s as eyes. Chin smiled tiredly.

She hadn’t seen the boys for almost a week—not that she avoided them, no. They were wrapping up the shoot for their new music video, and then there was the award show, plus shoots for their variety material and preparing their stage performances for their new single coming out early February. It was a busy time, she wasn’t avoiding them. She didn’t have to.

She closed her eyes, remembering the last encounter with Sung Jae. If Namjoon hadn’t been there…she shuddered. It was empty, the way she felt about the father of her baby. She never knew it was possible for love to completely burn out so fast. Or maybe what she felt for him wasn’t love?

Either way, whatever it was, it was gone. It felt like there’s suddenly a gaping space in her insides, having that feeling yanked out from within her so suddenly.

Then she remembered that night. Her ears warmed as her mind automatically reminded her of Namjoon’s strong arms carrying her, setting her on the bed. How she clung to him when she thought he was leaving. Vaguely remembering him wrap his arms around her to comfort her—

Her phone vibrated much too loudly on her desk, startling her out of her thoughts. What the hell was she doing, thinking of RM like that?

Like what? her inner voice pressed on, and Chin physically shook her head, forcing herself to recenter and refocus. She picked up the cell and tapped on the new message:

Jin-oppa

Hi. We haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?

Chin took in a lungful of air, fully awake now. Jin was another person she had not had a chance to sort through in her head. He was full of contradictions lately—he said he’d be there, that he’s her oppa now. Yet he was talking to her less and seeing her less. Not that the blame was all on him. She knew she had to make an effort to reconnect, too—she just wasn’t ready to check on how and why.

So she settled for replying to his message.

Me:

Hi. I’ve been in the office.  Didn’t want to interfere I know you’re all busy.

I’m okay. Appointment went well.

She figured she should let him know that everything was fine with the baby, since they all knew she had an appointment the day after the whole incident with Sung Jae. She was sure Namjoon had told Jin about it already. Maybe that’s why she was a more than a little relieved that she hadn’t had to face them all lately. It was too embarrassing, them knowing what a huge mess her life was. Her phone buzzed again, but this time, it was a call.

“Hello?” Chin answered, trying to ignore how flustered she had become.

“Hello.” Jin’s voice was low, a little muted.

Chin gripped her phone tighter. “Hi.”

There was silence on the other line, and she began to wonder when the heck did both of them get so ineloquent. “O-oppa?”

She thought she heard a sigh, but she wasn’t sure. “Are you really okay?” he asked, and she could picture him frowning. He was using his hyung voice, and it made her smile.

“Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry I hadn’t been around.” She leaned back, closing her eyes to block out the glare from her computer monitor. “How are things going for Spring Day?”

Chin heard some shuffling and rustling of clothing, and Jin’s uneven breathing. Was he walking? “Hectic, but after today it’s just a matter of waiting.”

Chin nodded. They had less than a week after releasing the MV before starting the World Tour with a couple of local performances. “You better recharge. You won’t get a lot of downtime between the 12th and Gocheok.” The Sky Dome concert kicks off their year-long traveling all over the globe, and even Chin felt nervous—she planned to work with the tour team until she goes back to Seoul in July—if not before that. She prayed her baby loved going around. Her deal with Bang PD-nim was that she’d work until they reach the Japan leg—then take some time off while the boys go back for a couple of months to Korea for their comeback. The rest of the tour from October onwards was a huge question mark for her.

“I wish I could take care of you.”

Chin was so lost in her thoughts that she wasn’t sure she heard him right. “What?”

“Ya, pay attention, Chin-ah,” Jin admonished softly. “I said I wish I could take care of you.”

Oh. “Don’t say that,” she replied, her face hot. “You’re busy. And it’s not your job. Don’t worry about it.”

“There it is,” Jin sighed. “You always say that.”

“And I mean it,” Chin countered, her chest constricting. “But thank you, oppa.”

Another sigh. “Okay. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Chin bit her lip. She wanted to believe him, but she knew better than to hope. Not that it was his fault. She just learned to be realistic. “Okay.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

-----------------

Jin walked back inside the dance studio, joining the others who were still scattered on the floor, resting. They’d been practicing the choreography for Spring Day for more than four hours now, and the minute they went on break, he began texting Chin.

He dropped his long frame beside Yoongi, who was fully stretched on the floor, a small towel covering his face. Jin glanced at the clock: 3:45. If they finished early and Chin was still in the building, maybe he could—

“How is she?” Yoongi suddenly asked quietly, not even bothering to uncover his face.

Lucky for Jin, the rapper didn’t see his hyung’s eyes widen with shock and a little bit of guilt. “What?” How did he know?

“Who else are you itching to call?” Suga responded drily, and the madnae was glad the others were a good distance away.

“She’s… Chin is fine.” There was no point in lying.

“Her appointment?”

“She said it went well.”

The movement of the towel told Jin that Yoongi was nodding. “Good.”

Neither said anything after that, and soon they resumed their dance rehearsals.

By the time they begged off, it was already 6:30 pm. They still had an early photoshoot the next day, and they needed as much rest as they could get before the chaos of the music show week came.

Jin tugged off his sweat-soaked sweater and gave himself a quick toweling down before slipping on a cleaner one.

Taehyung eyed h