Chapter 6

Lucky Girl

생일선물

(Birthday Present)

Joohyun loved working at a radio station—she truly did, even if she was just a broadcast assistant in training. But due to the harshness of such a demanding man, she had to drag her whole body with all her strength just to force herself to spend another evening in the workplace she had grown to hate so much.

“Joohyun!” the man would yell calling to her and she would immediately scramble to see him.

“Yes, sir?”

“Why haven’t you contacted SM Entertainment yet? We need to finalize plans for Girls’ Generation’s appearance next week. You do know that you could potentially cause trouble to everyone’s schedules for your lousiness?”

She has contacted the company. They just had not responded to the emails yet. “I’ll try to contact them again right away, sir.”

“Joohyun! Where is the transcript for the upcoming show? I told you to have it ready! The DJ’s are waiting! You’re always unprepared and slow!”

She was not unprepared. She already had it ready, but unexpected changes had to be made to the script. “I’ll quickly have it ready, sir.”

“Joohyun! I told you to do one simple thing! One. Simple. Thing! And you can’t even do it right?!”

“It was just a mistake, sir…”

“No excuses! If you really wanted to get in this industry you have to work harder!”

She worked hard though. She did all that she could. Was that good enough? No, not if those high standards were not met. Hard work never really deserved appreciation unless the satisfactory outcome was achieved. For once, can’t she be appreciated for her hard work? For once, can’t she be appreciated for her perseverance? She always did her best and always tried to learn what she did not know. She always finished her tasks, even if it was the last minute at times. She never talked back. She never even talked behind the manager’s back! She was not the perfect intern, but she at least wanted and deserved just one word of appreciation for the things she had done right. Was that too much to ask for?

Is broadcasting really right for me? Did I really make the right decision of coming here? Not all boses are mean...right? She had those thoughts often. At first, she was so sure this was the right path for her, but the country’s employment rates were dropping, and competition was getting worse than ever before. She had to keep reminding herself the real reasons why she wanted this so badly just to stay focused on her goal. The thought of it all was a one big migraine though.

Nevertheless, even with frustration and disappointment, Joohyun went home with her chin up every time. This was something she knew she was good at—pretending like everything was fine. She trained herself into thinking that showing weakness would never amount to anything good. Even if that strength was nothing but a façade, it was better than having no strength at all. However, at the end of the day—when it was just between her and nobody else, beneath that mask hid nothing but tears. When it came right down to it, she was weak and she knew it. She could never kid herself into being the strong independent woman she needed to be.

Weekend came and Joohyun immediately noticed how Wendy seemed to be in a bad mood. Although the previous days had been rough for her personally, that did not stop her from comforting poor little Wendy and giving her a warm comforting hug. If anything, her own experiences and her own hurt emotions fuelled her drive to stop Wendy or anyone else from hurting. When Wendy talked about not feeling like her effort was enough, Joohyun felt a fire burning in her heart. She saw herself in the crying girl. She knew what it was like to feel like useless trash even after trying her best.

When her shift was over, Joohyun bid Wendy and Chef Taeyeon goodbye to head off to her next part-time job. Wendy admiringly watched as Joohyun left, still thinking about the encouraging words she had told her earlier. What Seulgi said about her before was no overreaction. Joohyun was a gem of a person—beautiful inside out. No one could be a better role model.

“Whoever gets to be with a woman like that sure would be lucky,” Wendy sighed, remembering how Joohyun embraced her earlier. Plus, her whisper was gentler than the spring breeze, and she smelled like a thousand velvety rose petals…

Wendy also remembered something awful from her past when Joohyun hugged her, but she shook her head again and just dismissed it. She focused her thoughts on Joohyun again instead of thinking about herself. It’s just a little hard to believe that a wonderful person like that would claim she has no close friends though…

When Joohyun was finally out of sight, the shop owner, Chef Taeyeon, came out of the kitchen. Although the chef was in her thirties, she looked quite young because of her small stature and blonde-dyed hair. She was also very kind to her employees. “Is Joohyun gone?”

“Yeah, she left,” Wendy answered.

“Good,” the chef said with a pat on Wendy’s back. Then she spoke with her auntie-like voice, “Now you have to help me with something.”

“What can I do?”

“Although Joohyun has only been working here for a few weeks, she has always done her best and worked very hard. She’s proven to be very trustworthy too. Tomorrow is her birthday, and although I told her to go home and be with her family in Daegu, she told me she’ll be working here tomorrow anyway.”

“Really? Tomorrow is her birthday?”

Joohyun had been around the entire morning until noon, but she never mentioned it to Wendy at all.

“Yeah. I told her to rest, but that kid, ah…” Chef Taeyeon shook her head in dismay. Then she continued, “Joohyun said she’d rather work. I don’t understand her sometimes, mostly because she doesn’t talk about herself often unless you directly ask her. Honestly, she barely talks. She should loosen up a little. When I was her age, I’d rather have fun and go home to Jeonju on weekends than work some crappy part-time job. I know what it’s like to be in her situation. I want to do something nice for her.”

“Like a surprise?” Wendy could not contain her excitement at the thought of it. “What if we bake her a cake?”

“That’s a great idea. We can make the cake together, but tomorrow, I won’t be around in the morning, so you’ll have to do the surprising by yourself. Do you think you can do that? You’ll have to arrive extra early tomorrow.”

“Yes, of course.” A new mission was added to Wendy’s list. She had never felt so honored to be assigned to bring happiness to someone who has helped her get this job. “I’ll make it the best cake ever!”

After leaving the bakery, Joohyun worked diligently at the Xiah Dragon Noodles until 10 p.m. When she got home, she could not sleep early, so she continued browsing the internet through her phone until past midnight. Insomnia was common these days.

The next morning, she needed to go to work at the bakery again. Noise emitted from her phone, signalling her to wake up.

Rise and shine… Joohyun stretched her arms and groaned to another bright sunrise. However, the moment her alarm was off, and her eyes opened to the view of the white ceiling, she did not want to get up at all. I want to sleep. I just want to sleep. Maybe 10 more minutes…

Suddenly, her phone began to ring. Joohyun rolled over to her side and extended her arm to grab her phone from the bedside table. “Ugh, I wonder who it could be…”

When she grabbed her ringing phone, she saw that it was her mother calling. “Hello? Mom?”

“Hyun-ah!” Her mom affectionately greeted at the other end of the line. “How’s my birthday girl doin’?”

Her eyes grew wide and her pulse picked up pace as if she had taken a double shot of espresso. Oh, right! Today is my birthday!

Joohyun gave off a nervous laugh and replied, letting her natural accent flow, “Ah-hah, doin’ alright, Mom. Just woke up.”

“Well, happy birthday, my dear. Wishin’ you were here so I can cook miyeokguk (seaweed soup) for my baby’s special day—”

“Oh, Mom,” Joohyun said, trying to sound like she was not touched at the fact that her mother even bothered to call her today. She had never been the type of girl to show a lot of emotion even to her family.

“I’m really missin’ you, Hyun-ah. I sent you a small amount of money as a gift. It ain’t much, but I hope you can go get yourself somethin’ nice today,” her mother went on.

“You didn’t have to…,” Joohyun whimpered trying not to cry. Although it has only been a few months since she left Daegu to live in Seoul, she missed her family so much. Just hearing her mother’s voice made her heart ache to go back and see them. “…thank you. Thank you for everythin’, Mom.”

“Oh, it’s only but a small thing, my dear. I know you been workin’ hard lately. Your mother’s always rootin’ for you, darlin’. Take good care of yourself.”

“H-how’s Dad?”

“Well, you know… I’m sure deep down he’s very proud of you. Don’t push yourself too hard…”

I know, Mom. “Don’t be so hard on yourself for the things you can’t control.” You don’t have to tell me that every time we talk, Joohyun thought as tears started slipping from her eyes. She even ended up saying those words to Seulgi and Wendy once. When the phone call ended, Joohyun sat there, not sure if she wanted to cry or not.

Back on her last year of high school, her father got into an accident which left him paralyzed. He was still alive, and still holding on, but the costs for “fixing” the damage done were more than they could afford. From then on, Joohyun took it upon herself to work hard and do her best for her father. Since her parents cannot pay for her education anymore, she maintained her reputation as a straight-A student with the benefit of a full scholarship, all while working as many part-time jobs as she could. This also meant that she did not have time for friends and other things.

Because of her excellence, she got an invitation from one of the top universities in Seoul (one of the top universities in the country). They were giving her an opportunity to transfer and receive free education with a great internship opportunity from the nation’s top broadcasting station. She wanted to turn it down at first, for she wanted to be close to her family lest they need her. However, her mother insisted she pursue her dream and study at a top university anyway. Her mother did not want her to shoulder the burden of her father’s paralysis.

But no—she was her father’s child. She knew she had the responsibility of doing something about it. Even though she never told her mother directly, she continued working hard in Seoul to achieve her dreams in broadcasting, but with the ultimate goal of helping her struggling family. She had never bothered to tell her mother exactly how difficult it was for her, but she was so touched to hear her mother cheer her on as if her mother had sensed her tiredness somehow.

Just push yourself a little more, Joohyun, she thought to herself. Although it was difficult right now, she would not give up. She then put her phone down and decided to start the day right.

Early that morning when she arrived at the entrance of the bakery she saw the sprightly baking assistant, Wendy, excitedly waving at her with a big, wide smile. I’m glad she’s feeling better, Joohyun thought. Joohyun waved back with a smile as well.

“Hello! Good morning, Joohyun Unnie!” Wendy exclaimed, as if she had never been happier to see anyone else.

“Good morning, Wendy,” Joohyun greeted back. “Did things work out between you and your student Yeri?”

“I haven’t seen her yet, but I’ll try to make it work this following week. I’ve been thinking about what you said. I think I know what I can ask her.”

“Oh really?” Joohyun just chuckled, slightly shaking her head as she went past Wendy to unlock the steel rolling gate.

“Unnie wait!” When Joohyun finished lifting the gate and entering the passcode for the glass door, Wendy suddenly stopped Joohyun on her tracks and grabbed the door handle before Joohyun did.

“Huh? What are you doing?”

“Uh, ha-ha!” Wendy laughed in a slightly awkward tone. “Sorry, I just need to—” Before she finished her sentence, she hastily made her way into the shop and ran to the cold storage room.

With furrowed brows, Joohyun mumbled, “What’s up with that girl?”

Upon stepping into the shop, Joohyun called out to Wendy, wondering what in the world the girl was up to behind the “staff only” door. Wendy did not answer. Instead she heard some shuffling and clanging of pots and pans…

What is she doing this time? Joohyun wondered. After Joohyun has placed her purse in the little cabinet behind the counter and worn her apron, she decided it was best to see if Wendy was doing okay.

“C’mon, c’mon! Why isn’t this thing lighting up?!” Joohyun heard Wendy mumbling when she slowly pushed the swinging door open.

Joohyun turned her head from left to right to scan the room and spotted the junior baker on the corner of the kneading table with her back turned against her. “Wendy, what are you—”

Wendy’s knees went weak as she wailed in embarrassment. She slowly knelt there on the floor with her back still turned against Joohyun, her head hung down in shame as if she had done the most disappointing deed in the history of man.

As she went down, a simple, yet adorable cake with white frosting and sugar flowers was revealed to the birthday girl. There were five coloured sticks of candles stuck on the top. She did not get to finish lighting them all up.

“I’m sorry… The shop owner told me about your birthday, and this was supposed to be a surprise, but I forgot the spare key the shop owner gave me at home, and I absolutely wanted this to be perfect because you were so nice to me yesterday, and…”

“Wendy, don’t be upset!” Joohyun said with an amused laugh as she bent down to help Wendy stand up. She neatly brushed Wendy’s bangs with her fingers, and dusted off the hem of her shirt. Then she turned to the cake and asked, “Did you make this yourself?”

“Chef Taeyeon and I worked on it together yesterday afternoon,” Wendy explained. “She said you’ve been working hard, so I suggested making a cake for your birthday…”

“Aw, thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it.”

Joohyun marvelled at the cake Wendy had made for her. She did not expect anything interesting to happen today. She expected to spend this weekend like any other weekend, but then this! Wow, I even get to have cake today! It was precious little moments like these that remind her—life is worthwhile.

“Should I light them up so you can blow on them and make a proper wish?” Wendy asked.

“Sure!”

With the help of Joohyun, Wendy finished lighting up all five candles. The birthday girl clasped her hands together, closed her eyes, and blew… It has been pretty difficult, but I wish, I wish… I wish that I can be stronger. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.

The smile that lit up Joohyun’s face was the prettiest and the brightest Wendy had ever seen that day. If Joohyun did not have many friends, then maybe she can be there for her instead.

“Happy birthday, Joohyun Unnie!”

***

Seulgi went to the university area and wandered around, looking to waste some time. She knew she should be studying instead, but she couldn’t concentrate, as usual. Today, she had to take her mind off certain things.

How could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I just let Wendy rant on about her problems? Seulgi thought. The conversation she had with Wendy the past Friday night was not very pleasant for her. Although her comment that night was not a big deal, she still felt bad that she did not give Wendy emotional support when she needed it then. So yesterday, Seulgi did not come home from studying until late at night, then stayed in the living room only to go to bed when she was sure Wendy would already be sleeping. She did not want to face her. It always felt awkward for her after fights—even though Wendy didn’t actually fight with her. She felt guilty about it though. She was soft like that, especially for her cherished friend Wendy.

Seulgi browsed through an assortment of gift shops, accessories stores, fashion outlets and more in Seoul’s bustling university area. There were a lot of people in that part of the city. Crowds of youth flooded every corner. Today was an especially bright and dazzling spring day and the budding cherry blossoms were almost about to bloom—probably why more people were out and about.

When she passed by the street lined with claw machines, something caught her eye—a hoodie Ryan doll. The stuffed creature was a mane-less lion that appeared to be a bear wearing a sky-blue hoodie, and there were lots of them in that one machine. The bear-like lion had a striking resemblance to her, who wore comfy hoodies on a regular basis.

That one looks cute. Seulgi grabbed her wallet and took a peek. She had fifteen-thousand won. One shot at the machine was worth one-thousand won. Hmm… It wouldn’t hurt to try…

Seulgi inserted her thousand won bill into the slot and began the game. After positioning the claw at her chosen prey, she pushed the “grab” button and began praying for luck. The claw dropped, grazed the stuffed bear, and went back empty handed.

“Ugh, what a rip-off!” Seulgi grumbled. Then she took another bill and inserted it into the slot again. “Maybe I need to try again.”

The claw dropped again, grabbed one doll, but it fell before reaching the prize hole. “That was so close! Ugh, I need to try this again…”

Seulgi kept trying until she lost five-thousand won, but still no stuffed toy. After her fifth try, she was out of one-thousand won bills and was only left with her ten-thousand won bill. If she wanted to continue playing, she will have to convert her ten-thousand won bill into one-thousand won bills.

“This won’t do,” Seulgi shook her head. “I can’t waste King Sejong on my bad luck. I could buy myself a decent meal with this.” (King Sejong is the historical figure imprinted on the ten-thousand won bill.)

Seulgi dejectedly left the claw machine area and continued walking. As she kept on wandering, she stumbled across a toy-arrow shooting booth. Three tries for five-thousand won. And the prize for acing all three tries? A three-foot hoodie Ryan doll.

“No problem! I can easily get that!” Seulgi exclaimed. The other try-outs were having a difficult time, but sporty Kang Seulgi used to take archery lessons. “How hard can shooting toy-arrows be? I’ll be the one doing the ripping-off this time!”

Seulgi walked up to the booth and was greeted by the man running the booth. “Step right up! Step right up! Are you up for the challenge, young lady?”

The determined bear gave him money and was given a toy bow and three dull arrows with magnet points. All she had to do was get all three in the target to obtain her prize. Let the hunt begin…

***

“I guess, I really should take it easy,” Joohyun sighed. Then she chuckled, “For the first time in a while, nobody wants me to work at all.”

Joohyun went to the Xiah Dragon Noodles for her shift, only to be told to take a leave. They wanted to do her a favor of giving her a break on her birthday as well. Now she has no idea what to do with all this free time. Since she already made an effort to do her makeup and dress decently, she thought she would go shopping for stationery that afternoon. She bought herself a new purple notebook with a cute drawing of a bunny on the cover. She has liked purple and bunnies since she was a child. It has been a while since she bought herself something nice.

Later, while aboard the railway that passed through Han River, Joohyun got a glimpse of the afternoon sun over the glistening waters. Migratory birds flew above the horizon, and small boats could be seen sailing through the wide expanse. It was a beautiful, peaceful sight. Although the past weeks were gray and gloomy, that day on March 29th, the skies were clear and the weather was warm and sunny. She knew what she had to do. Instead of heading to her dorm, she went down the nearest station on impulse.

Han River, the wide, extensive river that ran across Seoul, was always a popular destination. The city folks enjoyed spending time at the parks by the water, relaxing, exercising, or even camping.

Joohyun had been here with her family once before when she was younger. They were tourists then. The view of the setting sun was glorious. The western golden sky would be lined with scattered blood-red clouds, and dyed shades of purple and indigo in the east. It was an unforgettable memory.

Joohyun went to a more underrated area of the river to avoid the crowds. It was a weekend; there were hordes of people wanting to enjoy the spring weather. When she found a great spot to view the sunset, she sat on the grass and took a deep breath. It’s been a while.

The grass was fresh and full of life; the trees were budding in preparation for cherry blossom peak season. A mother duck and her ducklings drifted with the stream, and flocks of pigeons soared overhead. Past the pigeons was the wide-open sky, with clouds resembling rows of cotton floating beneath the blue backdrop. It was beautiful. However, as she stared at the serene view, she could not help but feel lonely. Here was a beautiful view and a beautiful day, but she had no one to share it with. She was all alone.

Suddenly, there was a shout from afar. “Joohyun Unnie!”

Joohyun looked to where she heard the shout and found her young friend Kang Seulgi sprinting toward her, carrying a large stuffed bear. Seulgi Bear and her teddy bear—nothing could have been more adorable.

What a pleasant surprise. It seemed like they always end up bumping into each other in random places. And right now, it was at the perfect timing. In that instant, Joohyun’s face was lit up with the same bright smile Wendy saw at the bakery earlier.

“What’s that?” Joohyun said in an amused tone, referring to Seulgi’s stuffed bear.

“I won it at some fair.” Seulgi placed the bear beside Joohyun, fixed her hair and sat properly with her legs crossed on the grass.

Joohyun grabbed the stuffed bear with both hands and exclaimed, “Ha! This bear-thing looks a lot like you!”

“Technically, Ryan is a lion without a mane,” Seulgi corrected her.

Seeing Joohyun laugh and smile so brightly made Seulgi’s distressed soul feel slightly better. She felt lucky. Coincidentally meeting Joohyun like this more than twice—it felt like destiny somehow. She thought that God sent this beautiful angel to give her advice, treat her to food, and make her feel better.

“Do you want some cake?” Joohyun still had more than half of the cake Wendy made for her. After Wendy surprised her with cake, she ate some with Wendy and later shared it with their boss, Chef Taeyeon. They had a mini-party at the bakery before Chef Taeyeon sent her away to rest. If she did not share the cake, she would not be able to finish it all.

Seulgi took a plastic fork and shoved a piece in . It was soft and moist. It wasn’t too sweet and overbearing. It was perfect. It all screamed just one thing into her head, “Wendy made this, didn’t she?”

“Yes, she’s very talented at it, isn’t she?” Joohyun said, eating a piece with her fork.

“Oh yeah. I know very well. I live with her. She makes this stuff almost everyday,” Seulgi responded in a deadpan tone.

“You must enjoy that then, since you obviously love food, little bear.”

Seulgi forced a fake smile with full. She did not want to talk about Wendy. She was out here for the sole purpose of avoiding her. Even just talking about her was too awkward. Then she pushed the cake aside. “I can’t eat too much. It’s your cake.”

“I don’t mind.”

Seulgi stopped eating anyway.

“It’s very nice here. I don’t think I’ve been to this part of the river before,” Seulgi said, changing the topic. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand but still had some crumbs on her chin. Joohyun noticed this and wiped it for her using a napkin. “I like to wander around, you know. I walk and walk and never get lost.”

“It’s my first time here too.”

“So, Unnie, why are you out here alone? Don’t you have a job at the Chinese restaurant?”

Joohyun uncomfortably shifted upon hearing the word “alone.” “They told me to take a day off. It’s my birthday today.”

The bear’s jaw dropped. She wasn’t Sherlock or anything, but now she knew why there was cake. She should have known. And yet, there was another mystery, “But if it’s your birthday, shouldn’t you be out with friends or something?”

The naive bear did not catch on to how uncomfortable this question began to make Joohyun feel. The lonely unnie avoided Seulgi’s gaze and just focused on the golden river while awkwardly scratching the back of her neck. “I don’t really have friends—just acquaintances.”

Seulgi frowned. How could such a sweet unnie have no friends? It did not seem right. Everyone needs friends. Seulgi has friends, and although they always pick on her, she relied on them a lot, especially Wendy. If Wendy was not around, she probably wouldn’t know what to do. Even the bear cannot imagine a life with no friends. Now she was starting to feel bad for avoiding her friend Wendy instead of facing her problems with her.

“Don’t feel bad for me though,” Joohyun continued. “I’m doin' fine even though I’m mostly alone.” That was one lie she had been trying to convince herself for some time.

Seulgi could not believe that statement. “Are you sure?”

Joohyun sighed and lay down on the grass. As she stared at the fluffy clouds slowly turning into shades of yellow and orange, she breathed out, “Well, I guess sometimes a little company wouldn’t hurt.”

Seulgi grabbed the stuffed Ryan doll and held it over Joohyun’s face, covering the view of the clouds. Then she spoke in a high-pitched voice and moved the stuffed bear with her hands like a ventriloquist. “Hi, Joohyun Unnie, can we be friends?”

A smile slowly formed on Joohyun’s melancholic face. Then she sat up and laughed with a shriek. “What are you doing?”

Seulgi held the bear to cover up her face and made it talk again. “My name is Ryan, and here behind me is my friend Seulgi Bear. We want to be your friend so you wouldn’t be lonely!”

Joohyun just found it so innocently immature and ridiculously adorable. Seulgi then placed the stuffed bear on Joohyun’s lap and then told her with her real voice, “Here, you can have him. Whenever you see him, I hope you remember that I’m your friend. Happy birthday, Joohyun Unnie.”

After that adorable proposition, Joohyun laughed for a long while until Seulgi, in all her awkwardness, began to laugh along with her. They spent the rest of the afternoon and watched the sunset together. They continued to hang out all through the evening, watching the lights glistening on the river.

3.29 <3