Chapter 15

Before You Go

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Joohyun ran her finger from left to right, skimming through titles and labels at the local music store. “Ah-hah! There it is!”

Pulling out the album from the rack, Joohyun examined the off-white cover with an image of popular female artist IU in a yellow dress, sitting among bookshelves.

The college girl placed her chosen item on the counter and handed out her card for the payment. She was also given a free rolled-up limited edition poster—a norm when you purchase an album within the particular artists’ promotion period.

As she was about to leave, she saw a familiar classmate browsing through one of the shelves. The familiar girl kept craning her neck up to look at the higher shelves. “Yongsun?”

Looking down, the other college girl met eyes with Joohyun and greeted her with a smile. “Oh, hey, Joohyun! We always run into each other like this, huh? Did you do anything interesting on Children’s Day?”

“Well, yes, I went to an amusement park with friends yesterday,” Joohyun said obviously happy with her holiday. She could not stop thinking about the day out with the girls. It was so much fun.

“That’s nice! I’m here looking for new stuff to listen to. What did you get?” Yongsun asked as she pointed to the plastic bag with the CD and poster.

“Oh, it’s IU’s new album. A gift. For a little sister.”

“Neat! I heard it was just released a day or two ago. Anyway, I also heard you quit the emcee position for the festival. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think I can do it after, you know… what happened.”

“I understand. It’s still upsetting.” Yongsun went up to lightly pat Joohyun’s arm. “Take it easy, Bae Joohyun.”

The tragic news still circulated around the university. There were hushed murmurs and vague theories about Bogum’s reasons, but the closest to the truth had to be the suicide note that Joohyun received, which she later showed her professor. She also went to Bogum’s memorial service the day before Children’s Day and offered condolences to his grieving family. It was a strange feeling—going to the funeral of someone you once saw often—and a very young someone too. It just did not seem right. Nothing about it felt right.

After the long, four-day weekend with Saturday, Sunday, Children’s Day, and Buddha’s Birthday all lined-up next to each other, Joohyun got back to her usual routine. More classes, more studying, more work…

Although the empty seat where Bogum used to fill in that one class still haunted her, her days seemed to be getting brighter. Children’s Day opened up new connections when Soo-Young started a virtual chatroom with all five of them. At first it only served as a way of sharing each other’s photos from the amusement park, but then they started talking and sharing stories and funny jokes in the chatroom as well. During what used to be lonely nights, Joohyun would scroll through their messages, giggling to herself. For once, she felt like she belonged, even though they were a bunch of younger girls who could barely relate to a university student.

Seulgi still contacted her separately to talk to her about random stuff. One night, she told Joohyun in their separate chat, “Hey I know the other girls are starting to really like you too, but just remember one thing.”

“What?”

“I met you first.”

“ㅋㅋWhat’s that supposed to mean, Kang Seulgi?ㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

“It means you were mine first. I have to be number one to you too.”

“Don’t worry, you’re always special to me Seulgi Bear ㅋㅋㅋ”

On Thursday night while working on her internship at the broadcasting station, Joohyun asked her supervisor if she could bring in “her middle-school sister” to work on Monday next week—the day IU guest stars on the show. No matter what her lies and excuses were— “I don’t want to leave my sister alone”—the supervisor would not allow it, for fear of having an obstruction in the set, even though she swore her “sister” was usually well-behaved. It was too bad. She really wanted to do something nice for Yeri and let her have this amazing memory of meeting one of her favorite singers before leaving Korea. Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible at this time. She was just a lowly intern after all. And since it was an evening radio, she wasn’t even sure if Yeri would be allowed to come with her either. Nevertheless, she can still have the album and poster signed, and hopefully Yeri will still love her gift.

“Do you think Yeri will like it?” she asked Wendy in the bakery that following weekend.

“Are you kidding? A signed CD and poster? Unnie, she will freak out! Not everyone can give an insanely rare gift like that!”

“So, you think it’s a great idea?”

Wendy nodded her head furiously. “Absolutely!”

Later, when her shift was over, low rumbles could be heard coming from outside. Despite the bright sunny morning, gray clouds had gathered past noon. The startled Joohyun’s shoulders jerked up. Her hatred for the sound of thunder was too strong to suppress. The way it would shock her out of her wits infuriated her.

“Ugh…” Joohyun walked to the glass windows and peeked at the thickening rain clouds. “I didn’t bring an umbrella again. Can’t the weather just make up its mind in the morning? If it’s sunny in the morning, it should stay sunny for the rest of the day.”

“It’s fine, Unnie. You can borrow mine,” Wendy said, taking out her long blue umbrella. “Seulgi’s dad will pick me up later anyway.”

The moment Joohyun laid eyes on the blue umbrella, she started laughing. “Oh hey, it’s the broken umbrella!” It has been a while since she laid eyes on it, in all its glory.

Wendy slightly tilted her head, not sure what Joohyun meant. This umbrella has been working perfectly fine. She has even lent it to her friends a couple of times. “Broken umbrella?”

“Funny story…,” Joohyun began, running her hand over the rod. “When I first applied for this job, I came without an umbrella. But later, on my way back while riding the bus, the rain started pouring out of nowhere. So, when I got off the bus, I got stuck under the bus stop for some time, until I met Seulgi.”

“Oh! Seulgi told us about this a long time ago,” Wendy chuckled as well. “She thought the umbrella was broken. Gosh, that dummy…”

“After that, you came to work here too, Wendy. Funny, isn’t it? All these encounters…” It wasn’t even that long ago, but both of them felt rather nostalgic. “I’m really glad I met you and Seulgi and the others. They’re all great memories.”

“Aw, Unnie, I’m really glad I met you too.” Wendy then approached the older girl and gave her a tight hug. They have been giving each other a lot of warm hugs nowadays. It was always a heart-warming gesture. For this reason, Joohyun decided to nickname Wendy “Olaf” in her phone contacts as a reference to the warm-hugs-loving snowman. It seemed fitting.

“Have fun on your school trip tomorrow,” Joohyun said, breaking off the embrace and grabbing the blue umbrella. “Send me lots of pictures while you’re out there. I want to see how you guys are doing as well.”

“No problem, Unnie!”

“I’ll return the umbrella to you when you come back to work next week.”

“Sure, Unnie, you can return it anytime you want. Also, good luck on getting that autograph from IU. I’m sure Yeri will love it!”

And so out the door went Bae Joohyun with the blue umbrella in hand, waving her dear friend Wendy farewell underneath the rain, for the very last time.

***

“Yo, Kang Seulgi!” Wendy greeted her bear twin when she got home from her part-time job. “Packing?”

“Yup!” Seulgi stuffed some jogging pants in her bag and pressed down on it to make room for more items. “You should get packing too. How’s Joohyun Unnie?”

Wendy opened her luggage bag and began to get ready for the trip as well. She yanked open her wardrobe doors and dug out clothes to wear on the trip. “Joohyun Unnie is doing well. Thank goodness she’s smiling a lot nowadays. She’s even planning on giving Yeri IU’s signed CD. Seriously, she’s so nice.”

“Wow, a signed CD? It must be great working for a radio station.” Seulgi folded a white sweater and placed it in her luggage. “I’m glad she’s smiling again.”

While they were packing and chatting like they usually did, they heard a knock on their open bedroom door. Looking up, they saw their friendly neighbor Park Soo-Young—her head peeking into the opening, snooping into people’s homes like it was totally her business. (Seulgi’s mother let her in.) She then pushed the door to open it wider. “Man, you guys are slow! I already finished packing yesterday!”

“Someone’s way too excited,” Wendy remarked, definitely not ever surprised that Soo-Young came in uninvited again.

The younger girl sat on one of the twin beds and began reading from the paper handout containing information about the trip. “It says in the schedule that we’ll set off in buses by grade and section to Incheon Port in the afternoon tomorrow, and from there we’ll leave the port at around 6:30 p.m. Estimated arrival at Jeju Island will be 8 a.m. the next day. Gosh, aren’t you guys excited?! We get to spend overnight in a ship! We get to see the vast ocean! I want to see dolphins!”

The two older girls just chuckled at her incessant optimism.

“Wouldn’t it be too dark to see anything in the ocean at night?” Wendy asked, teasing Soo-Young by impishly bringing in something negative.

“And don’t you think the dolphins will be sleeping at night?” Seulgi joined in. “Um… they do sleep, do they?”

“Ugh, you guys are such killjoys,” Soo-Young whined. “But if I see a dolphin, joke’s on you guys.”

Monday afternoon came and students all lined up by their class sections for the school trip. Since Soo-Young was a first year, she was separated from the two high school seniors when the teachers had begun sorting out the students to their assigned buses. Seulgi and Wendy stuck close to each other like they usually did, waiting for their turn to board the bus.

“It isn’t very clear today,” Seulgi said, looking up at the gray clouds covering the sun. “I hope it doesn’t rain when we get to Jeju. If the weather , the trip won’t be as great.”

“Don’t worry, Seul. It’ll probably clear up soon,” Wendy assured her buddy, trying to be optimistic. “But even if it rains, let’s have a great time anyway!”

“I bet Soo-Young’s so excited she’s about to burst.” The bear giggled at the thought.

“Oh yeah, she’s probably raving right now,” Wendy agreed.

As they were talking to each other, two of the most popular girls in school walked past them to stand in line. Seulgi’s eyes followed the girls’ cold, sophisticated aura and gulped. The taller girl with short, curled hair (resembling a real-life version of Snow White) shot a disgusted glare at someone from the boys’ line. The shorter girl with the long brown hair and cold demeanor (much like a brown-haired Elsa) scoffed and went off her way pulling the taller girl along with her.

“Choi Sulli and Krystal Jung,” Wendy silently gasped. “Looking flawless as ever.”

“Gosh, look at Krystal, her skin and hair are too perfect…”

“I heard she broke up with her boyfriend Jongin last week…”

“Didn’t Sulli just shoot an ad or something? I swear I saw her on TV…”

“The matching Louis Vuitton handbags must have cost a fortune…”

Listening to everyone’s hushed gossip about the elegant child actress Choi Sulli and the ice-cold billionaire’s daughter Krystal Jung was an ordinary thing in their school. Their private high-school was highly-acclaimed and a lot of students were from well-to-do families. They also have an established international student community with a percentage of exchange students from other countries like Wendy. Sure, Seulgi, Wendy, and Soo-Young were no billionaires or heirs to corporations, but if their parents could afford to send them to this school, it certainly meant they were far from poverty.

When they all boarded the bus, Seulgi and Wendy sat together on one side of the aisle. In front of them were Krystal Jung and Choi Sulli, while behind them were some rowdy boys from their class. The other two seats beside them across the aisle was still empty.

“Oh, hey look, there’s Seulgi and Wendy!”

Soon there were the two other girls, headed to the two seats beside Seulgi’s across the narrow aisle. The kind bear waved a friendly hand at both of them. “Hi Nayeon! Hi Jisoo!” Im Nayeon, one of Seulgi and Wendy’s classmates, usually sat in front of Seulgi’s seat in school. She was known as one of the friendliest girls in their entire level—the girl with the cute, bunny-like front teeth. On the other hand, the girl in all black with a pink headband following behind Im Nayeon was Kim Jisoo, the happy-go-lucky weirdo who sat on Seulgi’s left side in their class. She has this very distinct low husky voice, and she was always playful with Seulgi in class. Whenever Seulgi and Jisoo were together, genius Wendy often cringed at the two’s nonsense interactions. It was like dumb meets dumber.

“Well, look here, the VIP section of the bus,” said one tall boy with an awkward lisp as he passed by Krystal’s and Sulli’s seats. “Excuse me, spoiled brats. Passing through.”

“Excuse me, Oh Sehun, who’re you calling spoiled brats?!” the tall teen actress stood from her seat. The boy paused, standing on the aisle between Seulgi and Jisoo.

“Why, you of course,” the boy said in a lifeless monotone while arrogantly running his fingers through his bleach-blonde hair before taking his seat behind Seulgi.

“Tch, he’s one to talk,” Krystal stood up to look back at him and scoffed, crossing her arms to her chest, making her aura even more intimidating that it already was. “And thanks for spreading that rumor that Jongin and I are no longer dating, because we never even dated in the first place!”

“Hey, I never spread rumors. It’s probably Byun Baekhyun from Class D. He talks a lot,” the boy named Oh Sehun tried defending himself. Clueless Seulgi and Jisoo looked back and forth from the cold girl to the cold boy.

“Whatever, you stupid boys are all the same to me!”

“Hey,” Wendy said, pulling the bear’s attention away from the loud crowd. “Joohyun Unnie says ‘Bon Voyage!’”

“Really?” Seulgi quickly pulled out her phone and looked through her unread messages. Suddenly the whole world became quiet as if her ears blocked all the drama and fuss the other students were making.

In the chatroom, Soo-Young posted a bunch of stupid selfies with her first-year classmates. Below the pictures were comments from Yeri saying Soo-Young looked ugly in them. (Yes, even in the chatroom she showed no mercy.) Soo-Young then retorted about pulverizing her little cousin when she gets back… Finally, there were messages from Joohyun saying Soo-Young looked cute, and at the very bottom, the eldest sent “Bon Voyage!”

“Joohyun Unnie!  <3 <3 I miss u already <3 ” Seulgi typed in the chat box and pressed send.

“Let’s take a photo of us and send it to the chatroom,” Wendy suggested. And so, she held her phone up and snapped a few selfies with Seulgi Bear.

***

“Aw, Pooh and Olaf!” Joohyun giggled, browsing through Seulgi and Wendy’s selfies while riding the bus on the way to her internship.

“Have fun, and don’t forget to bring me tangerine snacks from Jeju!”

All evening, Joohyun did her duties well. She printed scripts and readied the set; she tested microphones and helped made sure the signals were transmitted without discrepancies during the show. She watched as the DJ and IU conversed through the show, thinking of ways to ask the star for an autograph later on. Since the young pop singer (younger than Joohyun) seemed quite down-to-Earth with a very sweet girl-next-door image, it might not even be a big deal to ask for her signature (because the other staff were also planning on doing it), but for Joohyun it was terribly nerve-wracking. She has met a few popular guests in the radio show before, but she still hasn’t gotten used to seeing all these stars in real life. It was still a very surreal experience every time.

While the show was airing and Joohyun had nothing much to do, she began reading the messages in the chatroom again to calm herself down.

- Unread Messages -

6:00 p.m.

Olaf: Park Soo-Young!! Where are you?

Baby chick: I just got off the bus. Not allowed to wander around. Teacher says to stay in class groups.

(This was followed by a selfie of Soo-Young posing with the setting sun. Then Seulgi posted a bunch of beautifully taken shots of the dock with the serene ocean sunset as a backdrop.)

6:30 p.m.

Squirtle Yerm: Nice pics. You guys in the boat yet? How is it?

Seulgi Bear: No. We’re in the waiting area. They said the cruise was delayed due to fog.

7:05 p.m.

Baby chick: Uuugggghhhhh asdfghjklsdkl I’M SO BORED. When are we going in??? We’re supposed to be in the ocean now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ my baby dolphins are waiting for me!! ㅜㅜ

Olaf: calm yo shizz Park Soo-Young. Go play with Rosé.

Seulgi Bear: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 

(Seulgi also posted a selfie of her and Wendy eating cookies together while sitting on a bench in what seemed to be an enclosed boarding area.)

Olaf: They’re still waiting for fog to clear

Baby chick: Hey!!! I want cookies too!!

Olaf: too bad. ㅋㅋ

8:11 p.m.

Olaf: Ay-yo I think we’re boarding soon

Baby chick: it’s about time

***

“Man, it’s really big.” Seulgi stood before the huge white vessel in awe while lined up for boarding. Although the dusk has settled and getting a full view of the vessel was difficult, the size could easily be estimated as that of a 6 or 7-storey building and the length of it most likely stretching farther than the ends of an official football (soccer) field. The bear had never been aboard such a vessel—leaving her awestruck with every single insignificant detail. She would look to Wendy and point to things asking Wendy about them, but the school genius just got a little ticked off because she didn’t know the answers to most of the bear’s questions either.

“You think the Titanic would have been this big?”

Wendy shook her head. “Nah, I don’t think so. The Titanic is probably much bigger than this.”

“You think we’ll even run into Soo-Young in this thing?”

“We probably will.” Wendy nodded as she held onto Seulgi’s arm while carefully climbing the flight of stairs into the entrance of the ferry. The cool night was getting chillier; the ocean wind was picking up. Other than the taps of footsteps on the metal ladder, they could both hear the gently rolling waters slapping against the walls of the ship. “I don’t know if we can visit other’s quarters, but we can probably meet at some other place. But even if we don’t see her, she can probably survive without us for a day or two.”

“Eun-ha-soo,” Seulgi said as she stared over at the stern with the liner’s name imprinted on it. “She’s got a pretty name.”

Seulgi and Wendy entered the passenger vessel Eunhasoo, leading to the well-lit reception deck. Low mumblings and gasps of fascination accompanied the shuffling of passengers’ footsteps on varnished wooden floorboards. The main deck had a convenient information desk with a stack of informative pamphlets and travel-guide brochures. Wendy quickly snatched some flyers and went back in line with the other students. Some liner stewardesses were leading the teenagers to a hall passing by what seemed like an enclosed dining area or restaurant. Opposite the wide restaurant were stairs, and behind the stairs was another hall with a sign leading to the lounges, arcade, convenience store, gift shop, and even a karaoke room. They did not enter that diverging hall but were led straight to the flight of varnished wooden steps to the upper level.

“We’re on a school trip, a very big cruise ship! Sailing, sailing to the sea!” Jisoo kept singing in a nursery-rhyme-like tune that she just made up. “We’re on a school trip, a cool gigantic white ship! Sailing, sailing with you and me!” Soon, Seulgi started softly singing along with her. Wendy held her hand to her forehead and laughed in secondhand embarrassment. She just could not deal with these weirdoes.

“Did you guys see that?!” Nayeon turned to Seulgi and Wendy behind her with an excited whisper. “There’s a karaoke room in the ship!”

“Oh gosh, Seulgi, we must try it out later!” As the school choir’s lead, Wendy Son will not miss this opportunity.

The level above the main deck housed most of the students’ designated cabins. Everyone began checking their tickets for their respective cabin numbers.

“We’re in the same room, right?” Seulgi asked Wendy.

“Yup. Cabin 2077.”

One narrow cabin for the girls’ section accommodated six students each, with two double decker beds on each side and one on the side of the window across the entrance. Seulgi and Wendy, along with four other girls—Nayeon, Jisoo, Krystal, and Sulli—were all assigned in the same room.

“Yay! We all get to be roommates!” Nayeon exclaimed.

“Let’s stay up all night and tell funny ghost stories,” Jisoo suggested with a breezy snicker. “The bloody ones with white ladies and—”

Krystal grimaced. “Since when are bloody ghost stories funny?”

“What are they then? Don’t tell me you’re scared.” Then Jisoo began bobbing her head and singing, “Wimpy Krystal’s a whiny baby…” Then she stopped and covered . “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry. Please, don’t call your bodyguards on me for teasing you.”

Krystal just rolled her eyes. “I don’t have bodyguards.”

“But you and Sulli are totally rich though.”

“We’re normal human beings, gosh,” Sulli said as she climbed up her assigned bunk bed. “Trust me, if we were any better than you guys, we would have insisted on taking the first class cabins far away from you.”

“Ugh, it’s going to be a long night…,” Wendy mumbled, but the other girls did not hear her due to their excited babbles.

At around 9:00 p.m., there was an announcement from the intercom. “…Motor Vessel Eunhasoo is now departing from Incheon Port…”

***

Monday 2014.05.12. Cloudy with a chance of... ugh.

Today, I don't have English lessons with Wendy Unnie because she's on a school trip with Seulgi Unnie and Soo-Young Unnie and her other classmates. So instead of going to Ansan for a lesson, Saeron and I went to hang out again. Nowadays she keeps saying she'll miss me. It's really annoying. But yeah, I'll miss her too. We all know that. Why can't she just shut up about it?? Really, it hurts to have to think about the whole leaving thing all the time when I'M STILL HERE. Anyway, the unnies have been raving in the group chatroom about their stupid trip. At least THEY’RE having fun.

Yeri put down her pen on the table and closed her little journal. When she looked at the clock, it was almost 10:30 p.m.

“Well, it was great having you here. Thanks for coming to the show, IU-ssi,” a radio DJ’s  enthusiastic voice ringed clear through the brief interception of static.

“Thank you. Thank you. It was a pleasure to be here. I had a great time too. Please invite me again!”

“Yes, yes! We’ll be sure to do so!”

Yeri has been listening to the radio show since it started. Joohyun had told her about the schedule for IU’s guest appearance so she can listen to it while it was on air.

“We have one final song before saying goodbye, what is it? Can you please announce it for us, IU-ssi?”

“Ah, yes, our final song for tonight is a soothing ballad for everyone to fall asleep to… my version of Kim Hyunsik Sunbaenim’s 'A Midsummer Night’s Dream'.”

Yeri turned up the volume of the speaker as the warm melody of a piano started playing on the radio. She placed her pencils back in their case and slid her notebook back into her shelf. Leaning back on her desk chair, she grabbed her phone from the table and began checking her messages while listening to the song.

- Unread Messages -

10:15 p.m.

Unnie: (Soo-Young) we’re looking for dolphins!

(The previous message was accompanied by a photo of Soo-Young, Seulgi, and Wendy posing together with an ambiguously dark backdrop.)

Joohyun Unnie: Did you guys finally leave the port?

Bear Unnie: Yup we just had dinner in the ship! Buffet was sooooooo good. We’re out looking at the ocean right now. It’s darkㅋㅋㅋ It’s cloudy, but there are a few stars.

Joohyun Unnie: Sounds fun ㅎㅎ Though I heard there will be rain tomorrow....

---

Yeri put her phone back on the table and focused on the song again. The little lass yawned. She then got up from her chair and lay down on her bed. The lyrics were starting to catch her attention:

Song: Midsummer Night’s Dream – IU

“With the soft music, my heart is like a child,
Running toward the sea of blue memories…”

With her eyes closed as she listened to the slow ballad, Yeri gave off a heavy sigh. She noticed she has been sighing more often nowadays. She could not help it.

With every day passing, the day of her flight off to London was getting nearer and nearer. It’s already mid-May. Just less than 2 months left to go… What happens then? What’s in store for her? She has no idea. But she wasn’t concerned with that. The only thing that concerned her at this moment was that she had to say goodbye soon and who knows when she was coming back? She was leaving everyone she ever knew—everyone from her cherished childhood. Although it had always been her dream to go to faraway lands, who knew leaving Korea would suddenly be so hard?

During times like this, she always thought about what Wendy told her back then, “Some good things in life are like a candy. When you put it in your mouth it’s sweet and it brings you happiness, but after a while, it melts away.”

“She’s crazy,” Yeri scoffed. But deep down she knew there was some truth to it, and she just hated the thought. Whether she stayed or left, they were all bound to get separated anyway at some point, may it be in the near future on not.

“It’s true that they do melt away, but they’ll always be inside you. You just don’t see them anymore, but they’re there.”

“Tch...” Wendy Unnie has lost a sister and moved away from family which is probably why she’s so emo and dramatic, Yeri scoffed some more. She knew Wendy was just trying to make her feel a little better, but no. It sounded as if Wendy was trying to force her into accepting the fact that goodbyes and separations are a natural part of life, and she did not want to accept that.

The song continued:

“...Those beautiful times deep in the night 
Have come to find me and dye my heart with colour;
The never-ending summer night’s dream,
I still remember

Though the morning shines brightly again,
I won’t forget…”

When the radio show was over, her phone buzzed. She immediately got up to check.

“Huh? Joohyun Unnie?”

“Hello Yeri ^^” Joohyun had sent the message on a separate chatroom with just the two of them. “When are you free? I have something nice for you.ㅋㅋ”

Yeri immediately replied. “What is it?”

“It’s a surprise ㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

“OK. Now I’m curious. Is it IU’s autograph?”

“O.O How did you know???”

Yeri laughed when she read the last message. She actually guessed it right. 

“My gosh, this Unnie is in a whole different level!” Then Yeri giddily typed in her reply. 

“ㅋㅋㅋjust a wild guess”

“Wendy didn't tell you, did she???”

“ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I told you it was just a guess!! Wendy didn't say anything XD”

“You’re a clever girl, aren’t you? ㅎㅎㅎ I'm impressed”

“Of course ;) I can meet you any day in the afternoon after school. If not, I can ask my dad to stop by at the bakery in the weekend. I want to see IU's autograph for myself asapㅋㅋㅋㅋ”