She was gone. Ariel had gone off to New York just like she’d always dreamed. There was nothing that Ji Hoo could do. Quietly he sat with his friends inside the F4 lounge. Goo Jun Pyo was busy playing video games as per usual, his favorite was of course, car racing. Woo Bin was on the other side loudly playing music and shooting darts with Yi Jeong. Ji Hoo wasn’t really up for it and was simply sitting quietly by the bar with a drink in his hand.

 

When he had first met Ariel it had been during a time where he was heartbroken. That felt like such along time ago, and those feelings back then did not hold a candle to what he felt for Ariel and what he now realized was only gratitude towards Seo Hyun. Ariel was different.

 

From the moment they had met even without nowing it himself she began to change his life. Ji Hoo had never met someone as bubbly, but at the same time so incredibly kind. What Ji Hoo loved about Ariel most was her smile. Ariel’s smiled could light up a room and at the same time that smile had its own effect on him.

 

He wasn’t too sure when he began to have feelings for her. Karaoke? Caledonia? There was so much time spent together simply just in the company of one another, and before long there was that feeling deep in his heart. There was a feeling and a sensation which pressed up against his chest, and a want to spend as much time as he could with her. It might have been sooner than he thought… The cat…Thinking of that still both made him feel apologetic and made him want to laugh. At the time he’d thought only about Seo Hyun, but in those days she’d made him forget what he thought he could never forget. Their first meeting, like her had been special.

 

He wasn’t sure about the when and maybe for a long time he had not wanted to admit what he felt for her. It was safe to say that part of him was afraid to lose her. They were good as friends, they understood each other and he admired her for her optimism despite what went on in her life.

Maybe it was the way she saw the world, as if there was nothing that could ever put a damper on her life. She’d practically been isolated and shunned by society for being different. Ji Hoo might not be able to understand that because people always seemed to want something from him and all the other F4 members.

 

Even so, he understood her when it came to being lonely. It was something all of them had in common but there was something about Ariel that made him want to be with her. It was inevitable not to smile when she was around. Feelings were something strange, love was stranger…

 

He remembers that night at Karaoke, Ariel as always was having fun. She’d worn a short red wig and seemed to have a knack for infecting people with her vivacious attitude. Ji Hoo remembers making a joke at Yi Jeong about Ga Eul and Jae Ha.

“Are you jealous?” He remembers asking Yi Jeong. At that point in time he remembers Yi Jeong asking the same. Jae Ha was certainly a sore subject. Ji Hoo understood he was close with both Ga Eul and Ariel. He had not noticed then, but with time it was obvious to see that Jae Ha deeply loved Ariel It was the way he looked at her when she smiled or simple gestures that he made.

 

He didn’t want to admit it to himself then that he felt jealousy or that he cared at all. Simply because the mysterious man from New York which Ariel always talked about seemed to always come to mind. That night however, the two had briefly stepped away from everyone. Ariel was worried about Ga Eul that day. Yi Jeong was not acting like himself and though they had allowed them time they waited in the hallway for them where they could keep an eye out, but not hear anything that went on.

 

“I’m going to sit.” Ariel spoke simply placing her small bag across her shoulders properly and adjusting it before sitting down. She looked up at him then with expectation and he understood he wanted him to sit. When he followed her lead she smiled at him brightly.

“I worry too much about them don’t I?” She questioned.

“Maybe. But you care about both of them,” Ji Hoo spoke to her.

 

“Sometimes people need to go through these phases in order to understand what they are and who they want to be. This will be good for Yi Jeong. It will teach him to value what’s most important to him. Ga Eul already loves him. She’ll wait for him if she has to and even though Yi Jeong is like this now, he won’t be able to keep away from her.”

“Wow.. I wish I could be loved like that.” Ariel spoke her eyes already closing as she began to lean against Ji Hoo unconsciously. She smiled at him quietly and continued to speak.

“I’ve never been in love but… I hope one day someone will look at me and think I’m special. Will that ever be possible Sempai?” Ariel was now more asleep than awake and Ji Hoo simply smiled to himself.

 

Her eyes were closed but she was still smiling even in her sleep. Special… the word was fitting for her. Anyone who got to know her would know she was special. She had something about her that made you unable to dislike her, those who did not like her were simply jealous of her kind nature. There was something about her that didn’t allow him to be angry at her. Even when he had been furious all it took was seeing her tear up and he felt apologetic. Her face expressed so much even when she tried to hide it. The more Ji Hoo looked at her face, at her lips there seemed to be nothing about her that was normal. If anything she seemed... unreal.

 

Quietly and gently so as to not to wake her up Ji Hoo moved a strand of red hair from her face. Even with this on there was still something charming and innocent abut her… angelic even.

“Any man would be lucky to have you. You are very special.” He didn’t know where that feeling had come from but before he realized what he was doing, that feeling deep within his chest had taken over and he’d kissed her.

“What are you doing?” Jae Ha spoke startling Ariel awake who simply looked up at both he and Jae Ha.

 

“Did I fall asleep?” She questioned.

“What’s going on?” She asked again.

“Nothing.” Jae Ha spoke up though he simply reached down to pull Ariel up.

“Let’s go home. It’s been a long night.”

 

Ji Hoo doesn’t remember much more than a feeling of loss when Ariel was taken away, much like he felt now that she had gone to New York. During that time, he hadn’t dwelled on his feelings or actions. He wasn’t ready to face what he now knew was love for a person who did not feel the same way.

 

Ariel was kind to everyone. He was not an exception to her kindness and he’d learned from the moment he had met her that there was absolutely no one else whom she thought about other than that man in New York. He should have known that even when he thought she was with her friend Jae Ha. Feelings however, were always unreasonable and jealousy and anger were definitely very unreasonable. For the most part, Ji Hoo thought himself to be a very logical person who did not get carried away by instincts or feelings. With Ariel around things changed.

 

 

They were friends. That was what he’d tried to convince himself of. He did not want to think of that kiss or what it truly meant. Part of him was scared to be hurt the same way he had with Seo Hyun. Why wouldn’t he feel this way when Ariel was in love with someone else. He’d tried to tell himself he didn’t care for her or that he’d felt nothing with that kiss but seeing her run that day, about to be hurt made those feelings he wanted to bury for her surge again. That day at his house he remembers cleaning her wounds up.

 

Ariel didn’t look angry, she never really got angry. Not even when people deserved it. She should have been angry at him when they had met and he’d yelled at her. She should have been angry now too. Ji Hoo couldn’t understand why people in her school were cruel to her. He felt guilty as well knowing that this new aggression was because she was seen with him. He expected her to be upset with him too but as he cleaned her up, though she was sad she was not angry with him. If anything she was more upset about her camera.

 

Her way of coping and looking at life only made him admire her qualities even more. Briefly Ji Hoo thought about that kiss and as she spoke to him he couldn’t help but move closer to her. He was so close all he really had to do was move forward just a few more centimeters and kiss her. That thought simply caused him to snap back to reality. There was an expression on her face which he could not read but found himself looking away.

“There’s a bruise.” Ji Hoo spoke when his eyes landed on her neck.

“What?” Ariel managed to say.

“On your neck. There’s a bruise.” Ji Hoo pointed out moving away from Ariel

“He pulled my bag too hard.” Ariel spoke and Ji Hoo was glad that she was distracted, the last thing he wanted was for her to think something else. They were friends and that was all they were ever going to be.

 

Why had he been so stupid? Why had he allowed himself to feel something for someone who was never going to love him back. Ariel had always spoken about New York to him. Destiny was not on his side and it seemed he was meant to lose Ariel. Why then had he given her that recording? When Ji Hoo had made it, he didn’t intend to give it to Ariel. What Ji Hoo had originally wanted was simply to express his feelings and allow himself to let go of her. What had come of that was simply wishful thinking.

 

Ji Hoo had expressed how he felt telling her he loved her and wishing her the best even if she was not meant to be with him. Stupidly he’d asked her if she could give him a chance. It had been a few days and he wondered if she’d heard it yet. His heart continued to feel melancholy and he felt stupid for not speaking up when he had the chance… and he had many chances.

 

He was a coward and everything else seemed to outweigh what he wanted. So why then had he given her that recording if he was sure she would never feel the same way about him as he did for her.

“Hope” He thought to himself. Because even if he knew she would love someone else he still hoped she’d tell him she loved him too.

“You okay?” Yi Jeong questioned going to sit beside Ji Hoo at the bar.

“I’m fine.”
“Really? You’ve been sitting here for almost three hours and you still haven’t finished your drink… or noticed Goo Jun Pyo and Geum Jan Di argue.”

Ji Hoo wasn’t sure when Jan Di and Jae Kyung arrived but said nothing as he tried to mask his emotions.

“I’m not going to ask what this is about and I won’t push anything from you. Just.. don’t be an idiot.” Yi Jeong spoke.

“This isn’t about Ariel.”
“I didn’t say it was.” Yi Jeong responded.

“We’re not like you and Ga Eul either.”
“Why? It’s not that complicated.” Yi Jeong spoke and JI Hoo watched Yi Jeong chuckle to himself while he shook his head.

“I don’t know if I should be the one to speak to you about this considering I don’t know what I’m doing with Ga Eul-yang half the time but… you might want to tell her how you feel.”
“She’s already gone”
“So. There are other ways to communicate.”
“She’ll be with him.”
“Who?” Yi Jeong wondered before he began to laugh.

“You don’t actually believe that crap do you? My Aunt is good at that but… it’s up to you two in the end not anyone else.” Yi Jeong spoke.

“Think about it. Even if there was someone else. Shouldn’t you fight for her. Not trying is worse than giving up…. Think about this… Can you really accept this? Her with someone else?” With those words Yi Jeong patted Ji Hoo on the back and walked away.

 

“Someone else?” Ji Hoo thought to himself. This was the only reason that he had held back. He’d thought of it for so long. Would she smile the same when she was with that person? Would she laugh and be as bubbly a she was with him? Would she be so in love with that person that she would never want to come back? His heart clenched when he realized that was a possibility.

 

There would be no chance that he could ever be with her. He cold see her smiling, telling someone else that she loved him. Marrying that person…Could he really let her go like this? Could he see himself walking away from her?

“It’s up to you two.”
 

He remembers the day they met. She was wearing a traditional marriage kimono. Why? He doesn’t really know. If only for a second he’d been startled enough to get out of his own head that day but even now, he thought she had looked beautiful. Her smile, her eyes, everything about her was something that Ji Hoo could not forget. Time would pass and his heart knew now that nothing would ever stop him from loving her.

 

(New York)

 

He’d let his friends know that he wasn’t going to be sending Yi Jeong off. He’d made up his mind about Ariel and when he’d told his grandfather what he was planning to do the old man simply told him to do as he wished. It was a sure sign of approval and for that Ji Hoo was glad.

 

He’d laded a few hours ago and was simply heading to the art department. He’d pulled some strings and due to his own good grades, his skills in music, and with his name he was able to apply to the summer program. He wouldn’t be taking the same courses as Ariel was but they would have time for each other.

 

He wasn’t sure exactly what it was he would say to her but… he just hoped she’d listened to the recording he’d left her and that she would listen to what he had to say now. Standing in front of the art building he saw a few students walk out in the crowds he saw Ariel who as always had her camera around her neck. He began to approach her just as she was about to sit on a bench by a large tree when he heard a boy call her name out.

 

Ji Hoo watched as that boy came to sit beside her and she seemed to be smiling as she spoke to him. The guy was tall, blonde, in his hands he was holding a sketchbook.

“Is this him?” Ji Hoo thought. Was he too late? …Had things happened so quickly in the span of one week. He felt his heart break and the life drain out of him. Without anything more to say, he felt like a coward and retreated. His mind began to reel feeling like a coward and feeling stupid for losing her. This was the only chance he had to ever be with her. If he’d just told her earlier how he felt maybe he would not have lost her. If he’d just said something to Ariel. Would that have mattered? Ji Hoo remembered the words Ariel had always used to describe her fate with that person. They were tied together by the ribbon of fate.

 

Ji Hoo laughed bitterly as he thought of Yi Jeong’s words. It wasn’t just spewed nonsense but something that was real and now, he had lost the person he loved. Even though summer was meant to be hot, there was a cold breeze in the air which fit his melancholic mood. He was about to reach the school’s gate when the wind blew harder.

“Don’t let that ribbon fly away! I need it!”

Ariel’s voice caught him off guard and as he looked down at his feet he saw a red ribbon and simply reached to pick it up just as she did the same.

 

“The ribbon of fate” This was the first thing that came to Ji Hoo’s mind as he looked at Ariel whom was yet to look at him as she took back her ribbon.

“Thank you this was very important… Sempai… What are you doing here?” Ariel questioned in surprise. Tears rimmed her eyes and Ji Hoo could tell she had been crying before then as well.

“You’ve been crying.” He said to Ariel who could only look back at him with a look in her eyes that only made his heart race the way it did when only she stood in front of him.

“Did you hear it?” He questioned causing her to nod and his heart to race in both fear and anticipation as to what would be the answer to his next question.

“Did you find him?” Once again she simply shook her head as an answer smiling as she did so while tears ran down her cheeks once again. This time Ji Hoo understood. There was not need to say anymore because he realized it then without either of them speaking and realized that all along she’d felt the same.

“I couldn’t wait.” Ji Hoo spoke pulling her close and pressing his lips against her own.

 

It was like being able to breathe once again after not being able to do so for years. His heart and his mind felt at ease and at the same time they both raced with feelings that could only be felt when he was with her. Yes… this was fate... this was love.