The next week on the way to school, we barely spoke. We didn't speak at all. 

He sat in his usual spot at the table, silently eating his breakfast. He acted like normal, minus the talking. I figured he still hadn't recovered from what happened, I didn't even get the chance to say sorry to him. 

Alright, I admit I went a little overboard that night. But still didn't make him innocent and that he didn't do anything wrong, he shouldn't have sent Riley straight to a strip club in the middle of the night where she might be in trouble. I was trying to imagine how I had to face her in Biology later. Doc noticed the abrupt silence too. 

"So," he finally said after reading the newspaper. "Is something going on between you two?"

I felt the need to tell Doc about what had happened, another hitting realization that he unknowingly became a father figure to me. I wanted to tell him how much Donghyuck messed things up, what I did and I wanted know how would Doc fix the situation. My fingers fumbled with my spoon, unsure of what to say even if I knew Doc could tell things weren't as they usually were. 

I opened my mouth, "Doc-"

"No, Doc," Donghyuck beat me to it. "Nothing's wrong with us, I'm just having a sore throat right now. And you worry too much, but I don't suppose you'll give me a doctor's note so I can skip school today?"

"You're not skipping school, young man," Doc declared before looking at the clock. "I'm free today, let me send you two to school - maybe we can grab something at Starbucks on the way. It's still early."

I groaned, "I still don't understand why can't I drive to school already, even when you're free?"

Doc shrugged, "Your aunt's orders."

"But she lets me use her car when I have to pick up Riley or something." I grumbled. "Is Aunt Tiffany awake yet?"

Doc raised an eyebrow, "Mark, she's on a business trip until the end of the week. Don't you remember?"

I totally forgot about the business trip, I was so caught up in thinking about the fight between Donghyuck and I that I already didn't care Aunt Tiffany wasn't at home. 

"Oh, right," I blurted before finishing up my breakfast. 

After breakfast, we all got in Doc's care. I glanced at Donghyuck, he was sitting on the other side, far away from me as he looked out the window. When we ordered our morning coffee and muffins, he took his first and didn't even bat an eyelash at me. I wondered if Doc had caught up with our odd behaviour, but even if he did, he didn't say anything either.

The moment we got off the car, we both went our seperate ways without uttering even a goodbye or 'see you later'. It made me feel down than ever, it made me feel guilty - which I already was, but then it was worsening. The condition didn't become better throughout the whole day of school, in which I was dreading the moment I'd have to face Riley. 

Biology was the last class of the day. 

When she walked into class, she quickly looked away as she headed over to our place. The atmosphere was painfully quiet, with her staring into her textbook and making me unsure of what to do. Should I make the first move? Should I talk to her? Would she talk to me, the was the question. Mr Avery barged in, then he announced that we didn't have any experiments and we were told to recap on previous topics. Another chance to talk to her went up in flames.

My whole body was holding back from reaching out to her, and I knew her all too well - when Riley Andrews didn't want to talk, there was no changing her mind. I couldn't stand it any longer. 

I looked at her, "Riley-"

"I'm not in the mood, Mark Lee," she cut me off, without a hint of expression on her face. 

I swallowed, "Look, I know you're mad at me for what happened that night. And trust me, I had no idea Donghyuck would do such a thing."

She sighed painfully, "You're still thinking I'm only mad about that? I'm not just mad about the date, but how you handled it made me even more uncomfortable. You were driving so fast, I was terrified that you'd crash or something. I tried calling you, but you ignored my calls. Mark," she looked genuinely frustrated. "I thought of you as a different person, not the one that's standing right in front of me."

I didn't want to believe what she was saying. "I-I don't get it-"

"Well first of all, you're step brother sure doesn't like me dating you to the point that he would sabotage our date," she muttered. "Why bother being together if it's such a problem?"

To be honest, I wasn't sure what to tell her. She raised her eyebrows, "Answer me, Mark Lee. I'll be honest, I can't bear the thought of dating someone that has a psychotic, problematic brother that hates me."

"He's not problematic." I told her off, maybe a bit to harshly. Even she was taken by surprise, but I didn't feel like toning it down. A million doubts were going over my head, a thousand possibilities that if I defended my stance saying that Donghyuck wasn't in complete fault - my original plan of making up with her, would too, go up in flames.

But I didn't feel like taking my words back.

"Nor is he crazy, and I cross my heart on that." I continued. I realized our conversation became loud enough for the whole class to hear, and that was when Mr Avery looked up from his table.

He adjusted his glasses, "Is there a problem, Mark?" 

"N-no, sir." and I turned to my textbook. The conversation went undone, and I had only spilled half the truth - Riley cleared . 

"Mark, we haven't finished," she murmured. "What else were you going to tell me?"

I was pondering on whether I should tell her more, and whether she would believe my story from start to finish. But with the Riley I knew, when there were questions, she wouldn't let them go unanswered. I decided to scribble it on her book. 

There's so much to tell, yet so little time to do so.

Immediately she replied.

Let's talk after this then, straight after class.

I told her everything.

From how much of I wreck I was only two years ago, being diagnosed with haphephobia; the whole period in Larson House and it being torturous for recovery, then getting a double diagnosis, my coincidental roommate - and that was how things took off. I told her how I ended up in a sickhouse, but I figured I wasn't in the position to reveal Donghyuck's background, I knew very well where were my limits. 

"So yeah, it sounds like something out of a movie but that's just how it is," I said at the end, as we both sat on the bleachers. Class ended fifteen minutes earlier, that meant even more time for the explaining. "And now he's not just my best friend, but the only brother I have - and I won't let anyone call him crazy."

She seemed to take everything in perfectly, her response was still lingering. She pursed her lips, "Wow, there's so much I didn't know about you..." she murmured. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What was I supposed to tell you?" I let out a low chuckle. "The person you're dating used to live in mental asylum? That I used to be more than just a wasted mess? Riley, it's not easy living like I do." I looked down at my hands. "Sure I've recovered, Donghyuck too; but the memories stay. H-he's everything I have, and to be honest Riley, I still don't know why he did what he did. Maybe it's because it's always been just me and him, then suddenly something else is happening solely to me - I think he still needs adjusting to it. Anyway, I'm sorry on his behalf."

She was silent for a long time, that meant she was considering a lot more than I expected. I supposed the question of whether she still wanted to date me had to be pushed back to a more suitable time. 

"Donghyuck," she finally answered. "From what you're saying, he's really gone through a lot for someone his age. He really means a lot to you huh?"

"We're more than friends, so much more than that." I repeated.

She sighed and nodded, "I understand how much you care for your brother."

We returned to the school corridor after noticing it was getting late and people were already heading home. She seemed fine right then, so I took a leap of faith. "Riley, about us..."

"Mark," she stopped me. "Honestly, I need time to think - we both should have time to think this over. Look, I know what you're thinking but...it's too early to tell, and all I'm asking is for us to take a break first. Let things cool down a bit, then maybe what's best will eventually come to us when the time's right. Are you okay with that?"

That was a bit of a let down, but even so I tried not showing it. Forcing someone to date you again was like forcing someone to listen to music they didn't like, and just assuming they liked it too. That wasn't me, and maybe I did need time to reflect.

"S-sure," I nodded. "You have my word." 

I looked ahead and from a distance I could see Donghyuck coming down the hallway, he wasn't looking up and was moving in such a hurry, other people in the corridor had to make way for him. 

"Oof!" I saw him crash into a random student, he was still too far away for me to help. I could only watch. He groaned and proceeded to pick up his books, the person he crashed into was helping too. When it came to the last book, both of them grabbed it at the same time. When Donghyuck looked up, immediately he jerked, "Argh, get out of my way!" he snapped - pushed the boy away before walking off like the wind. 

Everyone was staring, even me and Riley. His behaviour was more than abnormal, he seemed...in a panic.

"You should go," Riley said to me with concern. "See if he's okay?"

"Y-yeah, I will." I replied before running after him.

*Donghyuck's POV*

What the hell was wrong with me?

I didn't answer Mark everytime he asked me how I was holding up, I wanted to punch him everytime he asked a question. The whole journey back to the house was horrific, with Mark's constant glances and my dread he would tell Doc anything (if he did, it would be the death of me). 

Mark wasn't the only person I didn't feel like talking to (he was the last person on the list, though) but I wanted to avoid all conversations during this period of time, I wanted my mind to calm down. I wanted my logical reasoning back, not this annoyingly selfish voice stuck in my head. 

I should be happy for him, I am happy for him - but my actions say otherwise. What was wrong with me? I needed answers, and these questions had only started popping up recently when I least expected them to. Wondering day and night about how messed up my mind was, it felt excrutiating to the bone. This wasn't like the nightmares, this kind of feeling was different.

Imagine a big tidal wave taking you by surprise, with its overwhelming presence just swallowing you whole. That was how I felt most of the time, me being consumed by confusion and the constant tug of war between what I knew was right, and just the impulsive sense to just defy the limits. 

And I despised myself for that.

I hated myself for committing the same mistakes - when I knew they were nowhere close to right.

 Besides I had no plans of letting him know how confused I was, especially when he was one of the main reasons. Maybe the thought of him in general, or maybe just the idea of someone like him-

It was just too terrifying to think of...

So there I was, lying on my bed as I stared at the ceiling (I tend to do that these days) while blocking the nuisance of the world with loud yet soothing music; and that was when my phone buzzed.

I picked it up, someone had slid into my DMs.

We need to talk. Let's meet up.

I raised my eyebrows, this was completely unexpected. I thought carefully about my reply, I started typing.

Give me one good reason to talk to you.

The anonymous person was typing again.

Because I know something you don't.

This person was starting to make me actually want to spark a conversation. I couldn't help but be curious.

Something so important that you can't say through the phone? Interesting. Who are you anyway?

The person typed out their identity, and it made me sit straight up. I was clutching my phone so tightly my knuckles almost turned white.This can't be, no way, I thought mournfully. My mouth went dry. I was going to face the music.

What do you want? I asked. 

I just want to talk, that's all. The person sent me the address. I'll be waiting for you.

I wasn't even given a chance to say no. Still, I tried my luck.

And what if I don't want to?

Still typing...

Then I'll wait until you come. 

*Donghyuck's POV*

I grabbed me jacket and my skateboard, stuffed my phone in my pocket before dashing down the stairs. With my rotten luck, I stumbled into Mark on my way through the living room. He gazed and frowned, "Donghyuck, where are you going?" he asked.

. I my lips, "Er, I have a group project to work on. So I'm running over to meet up with my mates, it's urgent."

He didn't quite buy it, Mark narrowed his eyes. "You're heading over there with a skateboard? I can borrow Doc's car and drive you over-"

"No!" I squeaked. "It's really close by. Besides, you don't really have time for me anyway. I don't wanna burden you, that's all. Er, I guess I'll be back before dinner - and tell Doc that too." and I hurried out the front door, slammed it shut and released a breath. 

Why did you do that, Lee Donghyuck? I cursed at myself before heading out.

The location was the diner Doc used to take us for dinner every weekend, by car it'd take less than three minutes which was why we usually walked over for meals. But this was urgent, so I rode my skateboard (Mark's only expensive Christmas present for me last year. Ha.)

As I entered, the expected face was the first thing I saw. I tried keeping on a poker face, not letting my anxiety show. The trembling of my hands were so severe I had to hide them in the pockets of my hoodie. I nodded as a form of polite greeting, or as polite as I could be anyway according to my current mood. Which was negative.

"So," I spoke. "What do you want?"