"You're joining the writing program? Great!" Riley said through the phone. I had followed Miss Bennet's advice, and looked into UVA's writing courses. The first person I told regarding that was Riley, since I wouldn't have earned it without her admitting she didn't actually write that poem. She was the only person I felt like telling, I wasn't ready to tell Aunt Tiffany - I wanted to tell her when things were really happening, and not when this was only the planning process. "I knew there would be good in telling the truth."

"Well yeah, but you didn't have to tell you know - now you've got your first 'A' minus for the year. What will your parents say?" I said as a joke. She knew it too.

"That just proves I'll need to work harder, and that I shouldn't take credit for your work," she continued. "And how are you feeling about UVA?"

I scrolled through the page, "The options all seem pretty good, but the criteria is way out of my league." I sighed. It didn't just need my talent in writing, it also required me to pass all my subjects in fairly good results. I had so much to catch up on, not including everything I had missed during my stay at Larson House (we did get to learn during that time, but who would even care about studies when we were struggling with mental health problems? No one.) "There's no way I'll score all my tests, it's impossible."

"Nothing's impossible if you put in work," she tried cheering me up. "I'll help you pass, okay? My number one goal now is that we'll end up in the same college next year, if I'm not on their waiting list."

"You want UVA too? In what course?"

"It's a surprise that you'll have to guess and I'm not going to reveal it yet," she giggled. "Though UVA is my first option since you're thinking about attending it, I'm still juggling between Michigan and NYC - so nothing's confirmed yet."

I whistled, "Wow, you really like planning."

"Always, always have a plan. And a backup plan, and a backup plan for the backup plan." she joked, or maybe she didn't. "And may I know why you don't seem to know much about the subjects we've been studying since the last two years? Because you don't seem to have an intellect deficiency."

'I had a mental problem and was quarantined in a mansion deep in the woods and was held back a year from school'? or 'I'm actually a year older than you guys but you just don't know it'? Both answers didn't seem like good options. Plus, I didn't have plans for Riley to know that I was any less normal. I still had Doc check my condition every once in a while whenever I woke up after a nightmare. It was occasional and it was nothing to worry about - that was what Doc said - but I still wanted to make sure...

"Mark?" 

"Y-yeah," I snapped back to attention. "What can I say? I've only started being serious about this after you influenced me, so as my girlfriend, you'll need to clean up the mess I've created in my academics."

She snorted, "Oh now it's all on me?" she chuckled. "Then you'll need to treat me as the payment."

I grinned, "Are you asking me out on a date?" I heard Donghyuck clear his throat from his side of the room, maybe I was a bit loud. 

"I didn't say anything about a date, Mark Lee. That is, unless you want a date?"

She was amazing. "Okay then. Will you, Riley Andrews, go on a date with me?"

I could tell she was smiling on the other side of the phone. "I thought you'd never ask. It's a yes."

"Great, I'll pick you up this Friday night?"

"My parent's have a forum that night, they can send me over. And don't worry, they're totally fine that you're the person I'm dating. Send me the address of the diner, I'll be there." 

"Okay, talk to you later," I pondered on whether it was the right time to say it. "P.S. I love you."

"Love you to the moon and back, bye!" and she ended the call, not letting me top her. One of the many reasons that I was inevitably head over heels for her. When it came to proclaimations of affection, she would never let me win. And I loved that. 

"Done sweet talking, Lee?" Donghyuck remarked. "And I thought you'd go on forever. You know, don't you think you're taking this crush a bit too seriously? I mean, we all know high school love never lasts."

"What are you so pessimistic about?" I frowned as I texted the address of the restaurant to her. "I thought you were the one that told me take the risk for love?"

He sighed, "I guess so, but it's like you're planning your whole life with her already. You're applying for college applications, all these university courses like they're gonna matter so much."

"They do matter, Donghyuck - if I want to get through life after high school."

"Or you're doing it for her." he suggested.

"That's part of the reason I guess, but Riley's right in a way - high school's not forever, better start planning now. And Miss Bennet's helping me out a lot too with scholarships, I can't say no to that."

He snorted, "Yeah, now everything she says will be right to you. You're so busy planning your future so I'm not gonna interrupt you."

We needed to talk about his attitude problem. "I told you all this because I thought you'd understand, I guess you don't. And what's with your atittude recently? You don't talk much, and you seem to hate everyone right now."

He glared, "Now I have attitude problems?" he scoffed. "Says the person who can't seem to stay away from his new girlfriend. It's obviously me that has problems with my life, no pun intended."

I got up, already fed up with him. "Do what you want, as if you'd understand me now." and I left the room towards the kitchen to grab a snack.

When I came back, he was sitting at my side of my bed. When he saw me, he glared. "What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously. 

He didn't seem to care, "Oh, I guess I'm banned from sitting on your bed now - do I have to move out to the living room so you and Riley can have privacy?"

I had it. "Just what's your problem, dude?" I demanded and reached out to grab his shirt. "Listen here-"

"Don't 'dude' me like I'm any other person you hang out with," then he scoffed. "Or maybe I've been degraded to that level already, Riley should be taking that spot by now." 

"What the hell are you talking about? Donghyuck, are you out of your mind?"

He stood up, "Yeah, maybe I am because I don't know you anymore!" and he marched out of the room, slamming the door from behind. 

I laid on my bed. frustrated and equally confused. I knew Donghyuck had mood swings, but that didn't make the cut for his unbelievably immature behaviour. I was counting down the hours left before my date to put my mind off things.

That was the only thing that still gave me something to hope for.

She said she'd be there earlier than I did, so I wanted her to lose to me for once.

I got ready half an hour early, put on a button down and looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to look good for her, so that I wouldn't be the odd one out. While I was out the room, I couldn't help but look around the living room, the little voice at the back of my mind couldn't stop questioning where on earth was Donghyuck. He didn't sleep in our room and had moved to crash on the living room couch, all because of some petty argument that he started.

"Aunt Tiffany," I entered the dining room, where Aunt Tiffany sat at the table as she typed away with her laptop. "Aunt Tiffany, have you seen Donghyuck?"

She frowned, "He went downtown to that record store you two always went, I thought he told you."

He didn't tell me anything, no suprise. "Forget I asked, he doesn't want me to know anyway."

She looked at me wonderingly, "Are you two okay? Did you argue or something?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's nothing, he's just acting like a brat right now. I guess you'd call that 'teen angst', right?"

"Hmm, he does look quite moody these days. You didn't try and ask him the reason?"

I snorted, "This might sound ridiculous but he's jealous that I'm dating Riley, can you believe that?"

She blinked, "Are you sure?"

"What else would explain it?" I looked at my watch. "I gotta go, Aunt Tiffany, I can't make Riley wait."

She smiled, "Okay then, have fun!"

The diner was the place we had dinner as one family, with Doc and Donghyuck. It wasn't too shabby, pretty classy with food served at the right prices. By the time I got there, it was still fairly good in business. I sat one of the tables near the window and took out my phone, there were still five minutes left. I still had time to wait. 

I checked my watch, it was already ten minutes. Riley was never late to anything, I could be overreacting but still... I wanted to give her a call, but then I reconsidered it because it might seem I was a pushover. So I tried texting her and put down my phone again. I tried counting the polka dots on the table cloth, to distract myself and I kill time.

Three hundred and sixty-three, I had counted all of them after three attempts then losing count. I couldn't help it so I checked my phone again, she was one hour late. One hour late. 

This didn't make sense.

I dialed her number, the familiar beeping sound was audible - but after a few beeps, the voicemail came on. I tried calling again, and again and again and again. The same answer came, the voicemail woman. I was more than on edge right now, and tried checking the text messages if she actually did reply and I missed them out. I swiped up, trying to look at it - then I narrowed my eyes. 

Message deleted.

I didn't recall deleting any of my recent messages to her. Above was the address of the diner, I definitely didn't text her anything to her after that. I couldn't have forgotten about that. I opened the Trash icon.

Sorry about that, this is the address to my stepdad's dermatologist >.< Here's the right address.

It was another address that had nothing to do with the diner, it was nowhere close either. Immediately I got up from the table and rushed out, my guts were tying into a tangible knot. Oh no...

I drove as fast I could, it was near the place I usually went to look at CDs. I almost surpassed the speed limit, for all that mattered to me at that time was setting things right. My fingers were literally trembling on the steering wheel. 

I thought I was imagining things when I saw her outside a strip club. 

I parked right in front of it, got out the car and ran towards the neon colored doorway. It was easy to spot her, with her long sleeves and jeans - the only one in proper clothing and not see-through shirts and studded vests. She was standing next to a group of wasted college kids, throwing up and smoking. In a crowd of chaos, she looked simply out of place.

"Riley!" I panted when I got to her. "Oh my god Riley, I'm so sorry-"

"Do you think this is a joke, Mark Lee?" she demanded, her voice sharp as a knife. "Thought this was funny, huh?"

I blinked, "I-I don't know-"

"Did you think it'd be funny to play some stupid joke on me - tell my parents to send me to a place like this - just because you knew I'd believe your every word?" she sounded so hurt and mad. "I told them it might be a diner near here, when the address sent me straight over to a fricking strip club. Just how much of a jerk are you?"

Maybe I was just too overwhelmed by shock, I couldn't produce full sentences properly. "I-I tried calling you, y-you didn't pick up."

"My phone was out of battery," she answered harshly. "But that still doesn't give you an excuse to ditch me for so long, you make me sick."

Every word she said was a stab at my heart, I felt it burning and smearing onto my skin. I had my fists clenched so hard so that I didn't show how much I wanted to shut her out. I'd never do that to her, I never texted that message to her. I swear I didn't.

"Riley, just listen to me!" I raised my voice for the first time, in front of her and the bunch of drunk junkies. I was breathing hard, "I. Didn't. Send. You. This. Address."

She didn't believe me, "Then who did? It came from your phone, I don't think a ghost did it."

I tried thinking of the best reason, no one even touched my phone for the last few days. The only person who would have the chance would have to be-

At that second, I saw him walk out that record store.

That goddamned record store we used to always visit after he moved in. 

That bastard.

I grabbed by the collar without him looking, so we were face-to-face. If he was surprised, he didn't show it. I cared less, I wanted to punch him so bad. So, so bad. And yet I knew I couldn't, and he knew it so he rubbed it in even more.

"Get your ing hands off me." Donghyuck warned. 

"Get in the ing car." I spat back. Without his consent, I shoved him into Aunt Tiffany's car like a stubborn child not wanting to go home. He landed in the backseat, and I slammed the car door then got into the driver's seat. My whole head was just filled with rage and anger, I forgot about everything else in the world. 

"Mark!" Riley called my name and knocked the glass of the window beside me. "Mark, open the door!" I could hear her faintly order. 

For once I didn't care what she wanted me to do, she didn't have to see what I was about to do next.

I changed the gear and drove away, ing the two of forward and zipped past traffic as if our lives were not on the line.

"Mark, slow down!" I heard him warn from the back. "Mark, you're driving too fast!"

"Shut up!" I yelled, gripping onto the steering wheel. He didn't say anything after that.

I kept on driving until we reached the park near our neighbourhood. I got out the car, and tried breathing in the night cold air to calm myself down. I couldn't. It wasn't the point of how I messed things up, but the stinging part was the person who got me into this mess. This ing mess.

"Mark..." I heard him walk up to me from behind. 

"Don't you dare talk to me." I jabbed a finger at him. "Thanks a lot for just messing up everything."

He swallowed, "I-"

I took out my phone and showed it to him, "Do you think I'm an idiot? It was a good thing I checked, or Riley would have been waiting there for who knows how long?"

That was when he crossed his arms and looked away, "Is she that stupid? Your girlfriend's smart enough to leave when she knows she's being played at."

"What the is your problem with her?" I sneered. "She didn't do anything to you, why are you doing all this?"

"Maybe she just gets on my nerves, that's all."

I had enough.

"I'm done, Lee Donghyuck," I said. "You know what you are? You're a selfish, egotistic, brat - that I thought would understand me when I need you to. I guess I was completely wrong." My hand went to my pocket and it took out my mp3, the one that I brought along no matter where I went.

He stared at me then at the mp3. "What are you doing?" he asked, in a slight pitch. 

"Just when I thought my life was finally about to have a great start, why can't you just be happy for me - for once?!" 

I threw my mp3 to the ground, it responded with a painful crack appearing on the screen - blackening out as it died. I felt my heart pounding, out of anger and frustration. I was tired, so tired. Of him and his childish games. The only thing left clenched in my fists were my earphones. Donghyuck looked at me like a million things had shattered. 

"I guess that's it," he murmured. "That's it."

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" I snapped. "It just broke."

"Along with something more." his eyes were turning red. "I'd rather you punch me than do that. Mark Lee. It'd make me realize we were on different boats." the way he said it seemed to be hurting him, I couldn't understand him at all. He was babbling nonsense. 

"Excuse me?" I narrowed my eyes. "What does that supposed to mean?"

"It's her isn't it?" he wouldn't look at me. "She wanted you to think about your future with her! Going to the same college, marrying and having cute little kids ten years later. It's all planned out already, isn't it?"

He was being ridiculous. "This is about Riley? Dude, are you serious? We're only dating, we never even thought about-"

"Now it's always going to be 'we', huh? You and Riley, not me not ever." 

"Donghyuck, you're being ridiculous. Just stop being a jealous brat-"

"Or you should stop being a selfish jerk and start being my best friend again." and that was when I knew this was more serious to him than it was to me. Rarely did Lee Donghyuck cry, and when he did - anyone could tell it was more than a tantrum. 

I sighed, "Donghyuck, what aren't you telling me?" 

I never told him, but I always got scared when he started tearing up. I still do. The flashback of him almost dying back in Larson House was too vivid to imagine it happening again, so I always searched for signs when he was off. It could be a sudden symptom, like him mumbling to himself or staring into a distance when I was talking to him, or even crying - I always made sure none of those would happen.

I calmed myself down, picked up the mp3 and approached him. "Donghyuck I'm asking you again, just what aren't you telling me?" This time, I did it more gently, hoping that this would coax him before touching his shoulder. 

"Don't touch me!" he snapped before jerking away, which was sudden. 

"Hey," I frowned. "Have you been dreaming again? Maybe Doc needs to know about your problem-"

"Just," he pursed his lips to stop the tears. "-please, stop talking to me. I-I'll be in the car." and he his heel and got back in the car. 

"Donghyuck?" I called after him and tried talking to him in the car on the way home. But he was already blocking everything out with his earphones plugged in, I looked at my broken one in the passengers seat. Once in a while, I glanced at him through the mirror. He was no longer crying, but his eyes were sure puffy and red. 

When we reached the house, he let out a heavy breath. "Doc doesn't need to know, I'm fine - and you don't need to tell them anything. Not even what happened tonight." he said flatly before exiting opening the car door. 

It was a relief he actually sounded fine, I knew he wasn't showing any plausible symptoms either.

But that was what made me even more confused.