Baekies
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: Review for Baekies
by luvkookietae > Title: MArionettes
> author: Baekies Seohyun and her eight sisters fall victim to their Uncle Wu's sick fantasy of being intimate companions to the lonely bachelors of London society. Score: 63%
> Title: 10/10
> Description: 4/10
> Plot: 16/20
> Characterization: 15/20
> Grammar: 12/20
> enjoyment: 6/10 : The review 1. Title : 10/10
Your title is amazing, I give you that. It draws the reader in immediately, and it's not that often I see a story themed with puppets and control. Overall it gives off a strong vibe of mystery and angst, and that's good. 2. Description : 4/10
What I noticed in the beginning of everything, was that there was no description except a bunch of character profiles. That is not going to help with readers oticing your story, so I'll reccomend putting the description in your description and your character profiles in the foreword. as for the description you sent in the form, it doesn't really attract attention. To be honest, it seems boring, the way you phrase it. I'd reccomend something along the lines of this:
Seohyun and her sisters are orphaned, but their uncle Wu is a sickening sadist, and they fall subject to his maniacal fantasies.
What's going to happen next? No one knows. 3.Plot : 16/20
I'm not gonna lie, I find your plot flow too fast for a story like that. You draw out their meetings for like, 11 chapters and then you make them have and actually fall in love in one night? That is too unreal. I mean, relationships need a solid basis, and basically Seohyun just met Luhan for the first time, can't even see or talk to him, and she falls in love just like that? No offence, but even love at first sight needs some solidness and not just floaty write-overs. I understand that this is all fanfiction and I'm probably just overreacting, but on a logical basis, there needs to be a base to their relationship. What does Seohyun see in Luhan beyond his kindness? Think about it. The story focused too much on interactions between Wu and Seohyun, and all the way I thought maybe Seohyun was gonna make Wu change for the better but then pops out a Luhan. ANd not feeling anything oth
by luvkookietae > Title: MArionettes
> author: Baekies Seohyun and her eight sisters fall victim to their Uncle Wu's sick fantasy of being intimate companions to the lonely bachelors of London society. Score: 63%
> Title: 10/10
> Description: 4/10
> Plot: 16/20
> Characterization: 15/20
> Grammar: 12/20
> enjoyment: 6/10 : The review 1. Title : 10/10
Your title is amazing, I give you that. It draws the reader in immediately, and it's not that often I see a story themed with puppets and control. Overall it gives off a strong vibe of mystery and angst, and that's good. 2. Description : 4/10
What I noticed in the beginning of everything, was that there was no description except a bunch of character profiles. That is not going to help with readers oticing your story, so I'll reccomend putting the description in your description and your character profiles in the foreword. as for the description you sent in the form, it doesn't really attract attention. To be honest, it seems boring, the way you phrase it. I'd reccomend something along the lines of this:
Seohyun and her sisters are orphaned, but their uncle Wu is a sickening sadist, and they fall subject to his maniacal fantasies.
What's going to happen next? No one knows. 3.Plot : 16/20
I'm not gonna lie, I find your plot flow too fast for a story like that. You draw out their meetings for like, 11 chapters and then you make them have and actually fall in love in one night? That is too unreal. I mean, relationships need a solid basis, and basically Seohyun just met Luhan for the first time, can't even see or talk to him, and she falls in love just like that? No offence, but even love at first sight needs some solidness and not just floaty write-overs. I understand that this is all fanfiction and I'm probably just overreacting, but on a logical basis, there needs to be a base to their relationship. What does Seohyun see in Luhan beyond his kindness? Think about it. The story focused too much on interactions between Wu and Seohyun, and all the way I thought maybe Seohyun was gonna make Wu change for the better but then pops out a Luhan. ANd not feeling anything oth
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