krisyeol_always

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 : Review for krisyeol_always
by LUVkookietae
> Title: The Asylum
> author: krisyeol_always Sungjong Lee has gotten himself in another mess.

After the disasters at the previous institute he worked in, Sungjong's family and friends weren't very accepting of reality when he applied for a job at another mental hospital. His departure, however, made the situation very real - and his twin brother Taemin moved with him to make sure he was okay. 

Everything seemed great, until he met his patient. Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, Jineul Shin was an engima and a problem to Sungjong. Added to the trouble of his disarming demeanor was the way his eyes changed color, and that Yoohyeon Kim, Sungjong's superior, tried to act like it never happened. As the situation seemed to darken, Sungjong found himself digging into his patient's past, and unearthing nothing but more questions. 

And then, everything went downhill. Score: 73%
> Title: 8/10
> Description: 8/10
> Plot: 18/20
> Characterization: 19/20
> Grammar: 20/20
> enjoyment: 9/10  : The review 1. Title : 8/10
Okay, let's get started. First I have to say this: your title is really good. It attracts readers' attention, and that's a good job on your part. on the other hand though, I would've thought of something better to desribe the story though, the title "the asylum' just doesn't suit the story well enough. I get that Sungjong spends almost all his time at  the asylum, but then what does the title have to do with Jineul's so-called 'sickness' or his abilities? That's two points gone, but i'll tell you this: your title is a great one , and it's sure to get readers interested. 2. Description : 8/10
Don't take this personally, but I think it's really too long. when i read it, i got the feeling that you basically summarized your first few chapters in your whole description. I could've skipped the first two or three chapters and still know what was going on. It's not bad, by any means, but you could shorten it and just add some hints, noy the whole thing. this is just my opinion, so it's up to you. 3. Plot : 18/20
I absolutely loved the plot.That's all i can say. It was amazing, breathtaking, and i just felt that i could be in sungjong's shoes, the way you wrote it. The flow is great, and not too slow in my opinion. your writing is descriptive, and i could feel what the character were feeling. I actially screamed out loud when Sungjong was captured in the last chapter, and that liffhanger made me want to hit the sequel immediately. But ther wasn't a sequel, so i was just staring at the screen while cussing.

But on the other hand, the random characters that popped in weren't really realistic, because I couldn't get a read on them, and there wasn't any real material inside them, like Su
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CrazyJackson
#1
can we be affiliates?
Shu867
#2
Chapter 10: thanks so much for the detailed review! I've always had trouble with my pacing, haha...when I write, I don't have a predetermined plot or anything, I just make up the chapters as I go (it leads to super inconsistent writing XD)
the long wait is fine, I've been busy as well. I did better than I expected...heh I know I have a lot to improve on, but I started writing early so I have a lot of time to get better~
again, thanks so much! will definitely request here in the future, crediting soon
ambrozia
#3
i've submitted a request! :-)
-midnightbae
#4
Chapter 9: I’ve read the review!! I didn’t mind the wait, I was busy also with school and I understand you must have more important stuff to do hehe nevertheless I really liked the review! tysm for being honest! :) out of all the reviews I have requested this must be my fave (lol maybe because it’s my highest remark?) I really enjoyed reading ur review and I will consider ur suggestions! more love to ur shop xoxo
kamski
#5
I've submitted a request!
sharpteeth
#6
Chapter 8: i think the link to this fic is broken?
veneficious #7
Chapter 8: Picking up the review and thank you! You had me laughing through the whole review hahaha. Unfortunately, I'm actually a terrible writer, I usually only do straight pairings and I can't do anything more than a few chapters. I'm completely uncommitted T_T Thank you for your review nonetheless! No worries for the long wait, I appreciate your honestly. xD I definitely wanted Johnny to be more likable than Yeri, but a typical guy... hahahaha. I definitely understand personal preferences and differences between readers. Another reviewer scored this story a .90/100, whereas you scored it a .70/100. Both are good for me. I'm just glad the story made any sense at all. Thanks again for the review! :)
Shu867
#8
hi, sent a request!