It was expected actually, for the summer to pass like a blur. For all Jiyong knew, the summer was almost ending, before he could ever enjoy the warm heat radiating from the Sun and the way the water in every pool at most parties he went to with Youngbae made his skin glow by reflecting the bright lights they placed around the pool.

You couldn't blame him, though.. For not letting himself got carried away by the season and the excitement of finally making their own way into adulthood. It was on the second week of summer when Jiyong, who was comfortably snuggled in his boyfriend's arms in the Ice Prince's room, got an urgent call from Dami. That sister of his was at Jaesang's ward, for it was her turn to stay with him, so Jiyong decided to spend some quality time with Seungri.

Seungri kept quiet as he watched Jiyong gripped the cellphone in his hand, and then slowly removed the device from his ears with shaky hands. Seungri only needed to place a hand on Jiyong's shoulder and slightly pulled him towards the Ice Prince, before Jiyong himself launched his body onto Seungri, bawling his eyes out in a not so manly way. But who cares, though? Jiyong was never too manly anyway, and on top of everything, he's devastated, he had all the reason to cry.

A comforting hand - Seungri's - was soothingly caressing his shaking back, and Jiyong hiccupped as the after-effect of his crying saga just now. Seungri kept his fragile boyfriend in his arms after that, whispering words that made Jiyong feel a lot better. Well, that's what love is supposed to do, right..? Make you feel better, as if everything will go right..

But.. Jiyong lost his enthusiasm after that, and he was very much half his bouncy self for the next whole summer. Even when he's with Seungri, he lacked the usual dorkiness he exudes. And not to mention the lack of focus and excitement he showed at those parties Youngbae dragged him to because, "Hyorin wanted me to come, and I don't like parties, but I could never say no to her, so you need to suffer with me,"

Youngbae wasn't being cruel or anything, it would be him who would understand most how Jaesang's death would affect his bestfriend. But he couldn't stand it -- how Jiyong had let the unfortunate incident to affect his self too much and the people around him. It was frustrating, if you see it from Youngbae's point of view, how Jiyong was losing the shine in his eyes that used to shimmer oh so brightly, especially when the latter was with Seungri.

Even Seungri had expressed his worry to Youngbae, urging the shorter guy to let the old bounciness to bubble in the pit of Jiyong's heart again. Because he's the bestfriend, and no matter how strong their love is, the Ice Prince admitted that Youngbae knows Jiyong better than he does.

But it's not working. 

Jiyong didn't want others to feel burdened by seeing him losing half of his old self. It's not their fault, and actually it wasn't just because Jaesang was gone. No.

Jiyong has been thinking about everything -- his future, Seungri's future, the possibilities of them having a future together. But was he ready, though..? Is Seungri ready to face the possible consequences if they are going to make this - their relationship - work..?

Jiyong needed time, and maybe some space, absolutely some space. Because everything's happening too fast. Their officialized relationship, the reactions of the public, Jaesang's death, his grandmother repenting on her mistakes, and they are all going to enter the real world -- stepping out of their comfort zone, leaving the school once and for all.

Maybe it's for the better -- no, it's for the best. Yes, they both need this. Jiyong needed this, and so did Seungri, even though he might not let Jiyong leave him, he'll understand that it was for the best.

Jiyong knew it was the right thing to do. Or, he hoped it was. At that time, it seemed like the most matured decision he had ever made.

"I don't understand. Was it something I did..?"

"No. I... It's just-"

"Don't you dare give me those cliché lines of it's not you, it's me.. Tell me, have you been thinking about leaving me for awhile now..?"

"Well-- I hope you understand my intention. You wanted to succeed in life, and I will only slow you down-"

"That's bull, Ji.. You know I won't be a better person unless I'm with you,"

"I.. I know that.. But.. If fate has decided that we're destined to be with each other, then.. this breakup will not be forever.. Do you have faith in us..?"

"Says the one who's leaving me,"

"Seungri, I.. I just need some space, that's all.."

"You want some space, yes I can give you that..! But why do you have to end us..?"

"I..  I want-- need, to start anew.. Many things are clouding my head, and I... I want to find my old self again, before I met you guys here, before you came into my life.."

"So in other words you don't want anything to do with anyone here, especially me, for an unknown period of time..?"

"I.. Like I said, if fate--"

"Yeah, whatever. I can't promise that I'll look after you,"

"I-I won't blame you,"

"And I won't ask anyone about you"

"I can't say that I won't m-miss you,"

"Is this real--? Oh god, I really am losing you, huh..?"

"I..."

"Why do you have to follow your head..? Why did you keep your doubts and insecurities from me..? it-- I should've seen the signs.. I guess I should've known you'll inherit that 'keeping things to themselves' trait from your sister,"

"...You know I really love you.. I.. I love you.. You do know that right, Lee Seungri..?"

"You're crying, that means it's hard for you to do this. Then why do you have to call it quits..?"

"Well.. Lately, things have been going way too fast for me, and I'm technically a mess-- You're going to college anyway, so even if we're still together, we won't be with each other for a long time,"

"But there will be a comforting reassurance, that you are waiting for me, wherever you are, no matter what you're doing.. And now I'm leaving for college knowing that you left me because you believed that you weren't good enough for my future."

"Because I'm not. You're blinded by love, that's why.. And thus the reason I need this-- space, away from everyone, from you.. to become better, and stronger.."

"Whatever suits you, Jiyong.. It seems like no one could change your mind anymore."

"It is my decision,"

"Your decision-making skills . You know I'm leaving tomorrow, and you had to tell me about this now, of all times..?"

"I... I'm sorry.."

"Can.. Can I at least come to your house tonight..? Stay beside you as your boyfriend.. your lover, for one last time..?"

"I.. I left already.."

"W-what--"

"T-these past few days.. I told you I had things to do with Dami, we were actually p-packing.. I'm sorry for not telling it sooner b-but if I did, you'd find a way to stop me, you'd find a way to convince me to stay.. And I don't want that-- Seungri..? Seungri..?"

Youngbae -- if you ask him -- was never expecting for anyone at this hour in the night. But the loud bangings on his front door and the yell for his name, 'Youngbae, Youngbae!' was echoing inside the house. Youngbae watched from the top of the stairs with sleepy eyes as his butler was flusteredly trying to open the door to the demands of the impatient guest.

"Seungri..?"

The distressed-looking guy entered the house with something similar to disbelief on his face. The Ice Prince was perturbed, and Youngbae have no idea why the seemed-to-be-furious guy brought himself here. 

"Umm.. Why are you here, Seungri..? Not to be hostile or anything, but you could've called or--"

"He's left. Gone. Do you have any idea about this..?"

Seungri looked as if he's going to punch him if Youngbae gives him a wrong answer. "I..."  But who was the Ice Prince talking about.. "Who left..?"

Seungri scoffed menacingly, "So, he decided on his own....?" Youngbae watched silently as the Ice Prince groaned under his breath, looking the most upset he's ever been. "That fool.. Aisy.. If space is what he wants, I shall give him that..! And I will not look for him, he's the one who'll come crawling to me!!"

And with that sudden declaration, Seungri was storming out of the house, leaving a baffled Youngbae who was a bit too confused to think of what to think of the... situation. Scratching a not-itchy spot on his scalp, he could sense that something had happened, but decided that it could wait. What could be too important anyway..?

The next morning, the short guy was frowning on his own as he sat cross-legged on his bed, with his phone in his hands. Jiyong won't pick up his calls - when two weeks ago, the latter was the one who wanted Youngbae to accompany him to send Seungri off on the day the Ice Prince leaves for college. Yes, today's the day. And although Jiyong hadn't mentioned about it recently, Youngbae knew he had to be there when Jiyong cries as he watches Seungri's car driving away from them. It was a typical thing for Jiyong to do, after all..

His ringtone blared all of a sudden, and he looked at the flashing screen to see that Daesung was calling him. Well, maybe it's about Seungri's fiasco yesterday..

"Hello, Daesung-"

"Why did Jiyong go...? Seungri won't tell me anything besides that, and he's masking his expression right now.. You know, pretending as if he's okay and everything -- but I could see that he's hurting... And he suddenly wants to go earlier than planned--"

"Huh..? Where did Jiyong go..?"  What nonsense was Daesung talking about. 

"Oh boy.. You seriously have no idea about this..?"

"Umm.. No..?" Youngbae waited anxiously as Daesung sighed under his breath. Did Jiyong decide to do something stupid again..?

"Jiyong.. He has left us, Youngbae.. He broke it off with Seungri for reasons unknown -- that cold won't tell me -- and he didn't let Seungri know where he went to.."

"Wait-- what..?"

If it was anything, summer that year was the worst for Seungri. And the tears in his eyes were a proof to that, though they stayed behind the barricades of his eyes, because the Ice Prince didn't let them fall. 

Maybe it was for the best.. Yes, he's happy. Yes, he's in love and all -- but how could he know if it was love..? He's just a teen who had troubles in enjoying the bright side of the world, and had only recently starting to get used to them with the guidance of a special someone whom he loved dearly.

But now that Jiyong has left him, it's time for Seungri to prove that what his lover-- ex-lover had shown to him -- everything Jiyong had done for him, those moments Jiyong encouraged him to believe that he could achieve happiness as well as everyone else -- was all worth it. Jiyong left him not only for Jiyong's own need, because in a way, Seungri needed this space too.. Even though he didn't realise it at first.

He needed to be able to survive, to become better, to stay optimistic without Jiyong to guide him. Jiyong's decision to leave is asking Seungri to learn how to be a better man on his own, because for how long Jiyong should stay beside him to mould him into the man he was supposed to be..?

Jiyong left not onlq to find his old self, but also to teach Seungri how to be independent without him. How to stay reasonable without a support even when everything is falling. How each of them could become a true man without each other as a guidance.

So Seungri understands now. He really does. He had thought that Jiyong was a selfish fool, but then he actually was doing Seungri a favour. After all, Seungri must remember that Jiyong might be hurting as much as -- if not more than, he had been.

Call him a sadist or anything, but the realisation that Jiyong is hurting kind of reassured him. That one day, like Jiyong said, if fate has decided, maybe he'll get to kiss that pink lips and see that gummy smile again..

The door creaked open, revealing the guy who had been making it his habit to come visit the white manor house every evening since a year ago or so. It's not like he never came before that, it's just that his intention on coming had changed.

"Oh..? It's just you.." Seungri turned his back towards his bestfriend as he continued opening and closing the abandoned old boxes in the attic. The older still never knows how to call before he comes visiting him.

Well, it wasn't Daesung's fault, though.. The older is always here for Seunghyun everyday, so Seungri should've been able to expect his arrival on the same hour every single day. Or maybe the Ice Prince was just looking for something to complain about.

Daesung sighed. He stared at his bestfriend -- or perhaps the person who used to be him. Precisely, he stared at Seungri's back. Even his back looked different now - you could tell he isn't exuding the same aura he used to have before. If that was even logical..

But it is. Things had been different from four years ago.

"Aren't you going to the hospital today..?" 

Seungri only shrugged uninterestedly, "It's supposed to be my day off, but you know they would always call me any goddamn hour they want to. It's not like I have a choice while I'm still doing my practicals, right..?"

"Right," Daesung scratched the non-itchy spot on his scalp.

Yes, this was how Seungri used to act like since they were kids - sarcasm and sassiness on point. But, the unexpected soft side of the Ice Prince had showed up on their last year of high school. Daesung couldn't deny that even though he's still irritating most of the time, and the words from his mouth were more or less either to critic or to judge, the younger had became nicer on their senior year..

But absolutely not less sardonic.

Nonetheless, it was a wonder to everyone that there would be a day where they would see Lee Seungri smiling, and with another person at that. It needed not be said that after the person's sudden disappearance after the summer four years ago, Seungri changed.

No, he was no longer mean, and snobbish, and arrogant, but his smiles were seldom, his laughter could even be described as endangered, and.. the caring side in him which he used to have and show around Jiy--

"Mind helping me putting this one back up there..? You seemed too busy with your thoughts there, might as well make your unwanted presence useful.."

Daesung blinked, and later he was slightly chuckling at Seungri's annoyed look. His dark circles were getting worse - Seunghyun had jokingly said that he looked like a panda because of them, and Seungri only rolled his eyes and told him with not so much effort, to not compare him to that sluggish animal again. 

Like Daesung said, he's still the Ice Prince, but he seemed to have lost half of his snarky self. If it was four years ago, perhaps Seungri would create a worse name for his stepbrother with menace rolling out off his tongue and soon little banters will provoke both into fighting. But Seungri had matured, because it wasn't four years ago, and he's no longer here.

Together they carried the box up and put it back to its respective place on top of the pile. Seungri muttered a small thanks before ushering Daesung to get out of the dusty attic for the favour of some small snacks before Seunghyun came home, and later Daesung will follow the older.

Of course, Daesung was here for Seunghyun - they are now managing their own small restaurant, and they managed