Genre: angst

They were the most perfect couple in the whole wide world.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

Everyone told them they were relationship goals and stuff like that.

Seungcheol happily agreed.

But Jeonghan didn't.

He knows something else, something grotesque about him, something he has to hide from everyone especially from his boyfriend.

--

"Jeonghan, I'm so glad you were able to go to our date today! I thought you won't be coming!" Seungcheol cheerfully said, welcoming him with a comfortable hug.

"I managed to rearrange all my schedules with my boss so yeah I'm free today." Jeonghan gave him the smallest hint of a smile, trying to sound more hopeful.

"I'm so glad to hear that, baby." Seungcheol hugged him again, tighter this time. Jeonghan let out a loud gasp at the contact. "What's wrong?"

"It... it hurts, let go of me please." Jeonghan whispered, glad that nobody was there at the beach to see. They agreed to meet in Busan and here they are, the waves lapping smoothly at their feet.

"Sorry. It was just a hug anyway..." Seungcheol pursed his lips, looking down to the sand. "I just... you look beautiful today."

It was Jeonghan's turn to get flustered but this time it was in a good way. "Thanks, is it because of my new hair color?" He ran his fingers down his black hair, teasing Seungcheol and beckoning him to touch his hair too.

"I'm so relieved you finally switched to your natural black! I think it's been months since I saw you with black hair!" His eyes were gleaming, yet Jeonghan's looked gloomy at the passing of a second.

"Yeah..."

Months.

It's been months since I was diagnosed with cancer. Then I did chemotherapy and lost all my hair.

It's been months since I've been wearing wigs... and occassionally purchasing more in different hair colors just to please Choi Seungcheol, my boyfriend, my everything.

Jeonghan knew he couldn't live a lie. Not right now. He couldn't be deceiving people into thinking that he's perfectly well, and just perfect. Like the guy Seungcheol thinks he is.

"Cheollie, you love me, right?" Those simple words came out in almost broken stutters from Jeonghan's lips. He was nervous. A lot. He decided to tell Seungcheol today.

"Of course I do. Nobody won't love such a beautiful boy like you, Jeonghan. Just look at you. You're so perfect."

"No! I didn't mean it- I'm not perfect, okay?" Jeonghan almost cried out, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Everyone says he is perfect when he knows he's very far from it.

"Jeonghan, whatever you say you are doesn't matter to me, because to me you are perfect no matter what. Please don't be hard on yourself, baby." Seungcheol reassured him, placing his hands on his shoulders and a tender kiss on his forehead.

Don't be hard on myself? I've already experienced everything and I'm close to dying! Now I don't even know how not to be hard on myself!

"Jeonghan, I'm going to tell you something very important-"

"But I have something in mind too-"

"I love you with all my heart. I cannot imagine my future without you in it. Will you marry me, Yoon Jeonghan?"

And the sick boy saw nothing but darkness, his body falling almost hitting the sand.

--

"Yoon Jeonghan?" A man dressed in white from head to toe with a nametag that says Soonyoung came inside the white room.

"Yes?" Jeonghan was already awake minutes before the nurse appeared. He felt an odd feeling i