Morning light filtered through Hakyeon’s shabby curtains, shining over his face and heating up his beautiful, tan skin until he began to wake. Still exhausted, he attempted to roll onto his side, momentarily surprised by the arms wrapped around him and the chest pressed against his back. Fingers laced with his near his face while his other hand held the hand draped over his waist. Whining at the sunlight, Hakyeon scooted closer to Jaehwan, a pout forming on his lips.

A soft chuckle sounded from the other teen, sending vibrations through Hakyeon’s back as the hand by his head released his fingers and moved to clover his eyes. Humming in appreciation, Hakyeon couldn’t help but smile, blushing at the lips that brushed across his cheek. With the infernal light blocked from his sensitive eyes, he began to drift to sleep once again, comfortable and safe in his best friend’s arm’s.

Unsure of how long he had slept for, the next time Hakyeon awoke he found himself alone. Something not at all unfamiliar to him, it still managed to fill him with a cold emptiness that could put deep space to shame. Sitting up with a groan, he rubbed the back of his head and searched for his phone, surprised he hadn’t been called in to work yet. Phone missing, he decided to return his attention back to his vacant bed. Where had his jolly little protector gone? Glancing at his window, he noticed the light no longer casting its warm glow inside.

“Hakyeon, you up?!” A shout from the kitchen brought a sigh of relief to him as Hakyeon pulled on some sweatpants and made his way out of his bedroom. Jaehwan stood in the kitchen, humming to himself as he washed a pan in the sink.

“Hey, Jae.” Smiling softly, Hakyeon leaned against the fridge, watching his friend for a moment. In a world full of demons, his own personal hell, Hakyeon always wondered how he had managed to befriend such an angel.

“Finally, sleepy head. How was your night?” Putting away the dish, Jaehwan turned to embrace him and Hakyeon batted at him shyly when he felt lips on his forehead.

“Man, you’re so affectionate.” Blushing, he pressed is forehead against his friend’s shoulder, yawning softly. “It was actually the best sleep I’ve had in years. Thanks for sleeping over with me.”

“You know, if you just married me already, you’d sleep like that every night.” Grinning, Jaehwan released him to pick up a steaming mug, offering the coffee to the still sleepy man.

“If you keep making jokes like that, I might start to believe them, you jerk.” Rolling his eyes, Hakyeon took the coffee gratefully. Jaehwan’s teasing always did seem to make his heart act strangely, and, though he wasn’t really sure why, he didn’t look forward to the day his friend actually did stop.

“Mm.” Mumbling something under his breath in a tone Hakyeon couldn’t catch, Jaehwan moved away from him. Concerned by the sudden change in mood, he stepped closer to his friend only to find a plate of food shoved into his hands.

“Jae...?” Biting his lip nervously, he surveyed the other man, trying to figure out what exactly he had done wrong to cause such a shift in the atmosphere. A moment stretched between them, quiet and uncomfortable before the smile returned to Jaehwan’s lips and Hakyeon found himself being led to the couch.

“Eat~ I’ll start the movie.” Cheerful yet again, Jaehwan acted as though whatever dark cloud had settled over them moments ago had never existed, leaving Hakyeon in a whirlwind of relief and confusion.

“Jaehwannie~ Put in something cute and fun.” Despite the feeling Jaehwan’s quick angst had left him with, hallow and lost, Hakyeon chose to let the moment pass and embrace the warm nature between them again. Eating his breakfast, he let out a grateful sigh at the delicious food that was a wonderful change from all the ramen he had consumed.

“Anything you want.” Selecting a movie, he put it in Hakyeon’s DVD player before he joined him on the couch. Finishing his meal, Hakyeon stretched out on the sofa, grinning up at Jaehwan when his friend guided his head to his lap. Fingers ran through his hair and Hakyeon couldn’t help but think about Jaehwan’s joke. His best friend, there was no doubt Hakyeon had some form of feelings for him, things he would have never allowed himself to explore for the sake of their friendship. Just thinking about something more with Jaehwan made him tense and his stomach feel strange. Marrying the man, that was enough to make him feel something he could only identify as severe panic. Even if he did decide he had those sort of intentions toward his best friend, he knew Jaehwan deserved someone so much better...

“Hey. What are you thinking about?” Voice soft but still audible over the movie, Jaehwan brought Hakyeon out of his musings, his hand slipping from Hakyeon’s hair to his cheek.

“About you.” With a shrug, Hakyeon smiled up at him, settling himself better on the couch, head still in Jaehwan’s lap. “About how amazing you are for staying by my side all this time.”

“Where else would I want to be?” Grinning, Jaehwan went back to playing with his hair, something Hakyeon had always enjoyed. “This is the only place I want to be.”

“You really are so cheesy.” Rolling his eyes, Hakyeon chuckled and reached up to take the hand from his hair, playing with Jaehwan’s fingers. His friend’s other hand sat across his stomach and Hakyeon couldn’t help but wonder if Jaehwan could feel the butterflies he was making flutter there.

“What kind of cheese? Cheddar? Swiss? Mozzarella? Havarti? Munster?” With each word, Jaehwan’s hand on Hakyeon’s stomach slowly slid upward, making him blush and squirm slightly.

“No. You seem more like nacho cheese.” Trying to hide his reactions to Jaehwan’s hand, Hakyeon reached up and gently, playfully, slapped his friend’s cheek.

“Heeey.” Chuckling, Jaehwan’s hand finally lifted from Hakyeon’s abdomen to rub at his cheek. “I don’t know what hurts more, your words or you hand.”

“My knife, probably.” Smiling, he sat up and kissed Jaehwan’s cheek, knowing that the vertical position would hinder a lot of Jaehwan’s cuddle methods that could make a real panic attack set in.

“You don’t have a knife.” Squishing Hakyeon’s cheeks, Jaehwan shook his head, laughing. “That isn’t an option.”

“You don’t know what I have in my pants.” Sticking his tongue out, Hakyeon glared up at his friend, pretending to pout. Looking up at Jaehwan, Hakyeon’s hands found their way to Jaehwan’s wrists. The two locked eyes for a moment, a quiet communication seeming to flow between them. Slowly, Jaehwan leaned closer and Hakyeon could feel his lips quiver, anticipating what might happen between them. Eyes fluttering closed, he shivered as his heart began race. Jaehwan’s breath was warm on his face and Hakyeon could feel the panic inside of him grow. At the last moment, he bolted to his feet.

“Hakyeon?” Voice strained, Jaehwan looked up at him from his perch on the couch. “Are you okay? You look pale...”

“Mm. I’m fine.” Turning, he made a quick dash toward the kitchen. “Just need some water. Want something to drink?”

“Yeah... Sure...” Hakyeon could tell that Jaehwan was upset and he hated himself for it. Having allowed his own fantasies to bleed into reality, his friend was the one that had to suffer because of it. Hatred boiled inside of him, white hot and entirely aimed at himself. With a heavy sigh, he leaned over the kitchen sink, watching the water continuously flowing down the drain until he lost focus and the world around him seemed to mute itself.

After his parents had died, this was the only way he had been able to cope, losing himself in the hiss of the faucet and the endless abyss of the water swirling in the sink. When he had began his ‘job’ the only way he could handle what he had become had been to numbly water the water flow down his shower drain. Never, in a million years, would he have thought he’d need it to cope with Jaehwan.

Arms wrapped around his waist, causing him to snap out of the dark vortex his mind had been sinking into. Jaehwan’s chin rested on his shoulder and a hand reached up to wipe away tears Hakyeon hadn’t even noticed he had let slip down his cheeks. For a while, the two just stood in that silent embrace, neither knowing what to say to the other. It was Jaehwan, as it always was, that finally made the first move to speak.

“Hakyeon, I’m sorry...” Barely whispering, Jaehwan’s breath tickled Hakyeon’s ear, causing him to stiffen slightly.

“No, Jae. I’m the one that’s sorry.” Turning in Jaehwan’s arms, he held his face gently as he looked up at him. “You’re my best friend. I would never do anything to ruin that. I’m sorry for getting weird.”

“Hakyeon...” Jaehwan held his hips gently and, for a moment, Hakyeon was worried they’d come close to kissing again before a smile spread across his friend’s face and Jaehwan kissed his forehead. “You were born weird. Don’t worry about it. You’ve just had a long week.”

“I’ve had a long few years.” Sighing, he rested his head on Jaehwan’s shoulder as the other man wrapped his arms around him again. “I couldn’t have made it this far without you.”

“I wouldn’t have let you.” Jaehwan’s hands rubbing his back further calmed Hakyeon’s anxieties. He was lucky to still have Jaehwan and he vowed to never do something to risk messing that up again.

“Lets go back to the movie, okay?” Stepping away, Hakyeon took Jaehwan’s hand and led him back to the couch. “I could restart it since I made us miss so much.”

“Nonsense.” Sitting, Jaehwan held his arms out and Hakyeon gratefully went to him, allowing his friend to pull him onto his lap. “You just relax. If anything, we’ll restart the movie when it’s over. I don’t mind the repeat... If it’s with you.”

“Sounds good enough to me.” Leaning against Jaehwan’s chest, Hakyeon closed his eyes and smiled. In a world where he didn’t really feel like he belonged anywhere, where everything made him feel broken and disgusted, Jaehwan was the only only thing that really felt like home. Relieved that he hadn’t managed to destroy whatever was between them, Hakyeon settled onto Jaehwan’s lap and lost himself in the movie and the familiar embrace of the only person in his life he had left that he truly trusted. Their near kiss weighed heavy at the back of his mind but, for the moment, he was going to do his best not to over analyze what he might have been feeling in that instant. For the time being, it was just himself and Jaehwan and nothing before then, or after, was going to be allowed to ruin whatever this was.