Day eighteen

“How did my parents allow this now again?” Yixing said. He was looking out the window. Their room gave them a clear view of the city’s skyline. Whenever Yixing came to the city he felt small and unseen like a grain of sand. From this distance, he felt it even more. Everything was bigger, colorful, and unknown. The idea of living on his own here next year seemed daunting, but at the same time, thrilling.

“I think because my mom is here, Xing-Xing,” Joonmyeon said.

He knew that, but it was still surprising. One thing was that Yixing stayed alone at home back in town, another thing was an overnight trip to the city. Yixing knew his parents wouldn’t have allowed him and Joonmyeon to be there by themselves, at least not until Yixing became of legal age. But when his parents learned they’d be accompanied by Mrs. Kim, well, that settled it. This one-night trip had been impromptu. Joonmyeon had told Yixing yesterday that he and his mom were visiting the city for his great-uncle’s thirtieth wedding anniversary. But because Joonmyeon’s dad could no longer attend due some emergency issue in the council, they had space for one more person. Joonmyeon had asked Yixing to go with him. Yixing’s initial reaction had been to decline. He surrounded by Joonmyeon’s whole family? (well, from his mother’s side). That was more serious than just meeting Joonmyeon’s parents. It added a sentiment of commitment that Yixing knew they didn’t truly have. Yet, Joonmyeon had still asked him and had looked happy about it. Yixing couldn’t say no to that face. He didn’t want to erase that lovely smile. So, Yixing had said yes. And today he, Joonmyeon and Mrs. Kim had driven the whole morning to the city.

Currently, it was the midday, and they had some hours before the party started in the evening.

Yixing looked away from the window. His gaze fell on Joonmyeon laying on the bed while he scrolled through the television channels. Yixing went to sit on his own bed. “Isn’t your mom worried that we’re sharing the same room?”

“Why should she, love?”

“You know, because… We’re ‘dating?’” Yixing said, making quotation marks in the air.

“I didn’t expect Zhang Yixing to think like this.” Joonmyeon laughed.

Yixing felt his cheeks turning red. He grabbed a pillow and tossed it Joonmyeon’s way, who managed to dodge it on time.

“I have a feeling mom thought we would ‘sneak out’ to our respective rooms. So, better to have us in one place, I suppose. Besides, I don’t think she has any problems with it. We’ve been ‘alone’ other times, remember?” Joonmyeon shrugged.

Well, that was true. There had been those times they had went over to each other’s houses. Obviously, nothing had happened, and nothing was going to happen now between him and Joonmyeon, but still, what if they had been together for real? Oh no. Thinking about it only made him blush harder. He cleared his throat and decided to ask another question. “Are you sure you want me to go to your great-aunt and uncle’s wedding anniversary?”

“Of course, honey,” Joonmyeon answered right away, no hesitation.

“I’m gonna meet your family. And be in all those pictures. In a couple years, you’ll look at them and… Maybe you’ll ask yourself ‘who was that guy now again’?” Yixing said, looking at the carpeted floor. He hoped Joonmyeon wouldn’t do that, and with any luck, having given Joonmyeon the lighthouse would help against it. But who knew what would happen when that boy became a superstar? People changed, Joonmyeon could change.

“In a couple years we’ll look back at those pictures, and I’ll say to you: Look love! This was taken at that time we went to my great-uncles anniversaries and had so much fun.’”

An inevitable smile formed on Yixing’s lips. The assumption that he and Joonmyeon would be together in the future made him smile. If only it were true. He knew Joonmyeon must be playing, saying it as a part of his act, and to convince him to go. “No, but seriously.”

“Seriously… You’re quite… Impossible to forget, Zhang Yixing,” Joonmyeon mumbled.

Yixing raised his head to look at Joonmyeon. “Why?”

The question was asked, but not answered right away. Joonmyeon looked pensive, trying to find the right words. Until he spoke again. “Because of your ASMR skills! Now that I know you’re Mr. Sleepy Sheep, I’ll always remember you while you put me to sleep during restless nights.”

Oh. So that was why. Well, that was what Yixing had wanted to hear, right? The real reason. But why did he have this bitter feeling within him? “I see.”

“How about you? Will you remember me?”

“Of course! You’ll be a famous actor and everything, Joonmyeon. There’s no way I’ll forget you.”

Joonmyeon beamed at him. “You really believe I’ll become a successful actor, don’t you?”

Yixing nodded. “Yes, I believe in you. Acting makes you happy, and you enjoy it. I know you’ll work hard to accomplish it. So, you better don’t give up on your dream! Don’t turn out to be... Like me.”

“Thank you. But what are you saying, Xing-Xing? You’re gonna be saving lives in the future. That is far more remarkable.”

Yixing laughed. He wasn’t referring to that dream, but what Joonmyeon had said made him feel slightly better.

There was a knock on the door. “I think that’s mom telling us to go for lunch.” Joonmyeon stood up, holding out his hand for Yixing.

The rest of the afternoon, they spent it walking around the city. It was an excellent opportunity for Yixing to buy more clothes and other stuff. Usually, he just ordered items online because their town’s stores were not always to his liking, or what he wanted wasn’t there. In the end, he had found everything he had needed. Joonmyeon had bought some things too. Yixing had also realized something. It was uncanny. Today when Joonmyeon hadn’t been holding his hand, he was the one who actively sought to intertwine their fingers together. He sought that contact. He felt calm walking while holding that hand. And he had also wanted to let everyone know that Joonmyeon was his. That jealousy towards someone checking out Joonmyeon, that was uncanny.

Later, he and Joonmyeon got ready for the wedding anniversary party. Fortunately, they wouldn’t have to go anywhere because the party took place on the venue of the same hotel they were staying. One of the clothes item Yixing had bought today was a suit and dress shoes. He would have needed one for graduation day, though. So, the suit would come in handy later. Although, he did skip the tie tonight. It suffocated him too much.

“My love,” Joonmyeon said when he saw Yixing stepping out of the bathroom. “You look breathtaking.”

Another blush spread across his cheeks. Yixing thought Joonmyeon was the one who looked breathtaking, it indeed took away his breath. But in this situation, he could find the courage to say to Joonmyeon what he really thought. “Baobei, you’re beautiful too.”

Joonmyeon only smiled. A glow highlighted his cheekbones, and yet again Yixing found the urge to pinch those cheeks.

The anniversary celebration was just like any other formal family event Yixing had attended. There was time to mingle and take pictures, there was a dinner, there were speeches and anecdotes told about the married couple. Yixing had been nervous to meet Joonmyeon’s relatives, but they had all been friendly. When Yixing and Joonmyeon had spoken with them, some got surprised to hear Joonmyeon was aiming to get into the University of Arts, but no one said he should do otherwise. Meanwhile, people had praised Yixing for his choice and wished him the best. Anyhow, Joonmyeon had almost never left his side, and that was something Yixing surely appreciated.

By the time all the main events of the night were done, and the dance floor was in full swing, Yixing thought they would go dance too, although he was a little nervous of being so physically close to Joonmyeon. The hug they had shared proved how much Joonmyeon’s closeness could affect him. However, Joonmyeon seemed to have other plans, and instead, lead them to say their goodbyes.

A while later, he and Joonmyeon were back in their room.

“Okay, change for something casual, love,” Joonmyeon said while he began searching in their shopping bags.

Yixing furrowed his eyebrows. Weren’t they going to sleep? “Why?”

“We’re going out tonight.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

This just kept getting confusing. “We left your family’s party, only so we can go anywhere?”

Joonmyeon laughed. “Well, it was only dancing and talking now. So, we won’t miss anything important. And I see my relatives at least once a year due to some important event like this. It’s fine.”

That sounded reasonable. Yixing was still unsure, however. “Then, what are going to do? And does your mom know we’re going out?”

Joonmyeon raised a hand and scratched his head. “We’ll see! The city is ours. And technically, we’d be ‘sleeping.’ But I’m sure mom won’t barge into our room just like that. For starters, she doesn’t have a card-key.”

So, they were going to sneak out. Kim Joonmyeon was undoubtedly full of surprises. Yixing thought about what to do. Was it wise? What if something happened while they were away? What if they got in trouble for leaving without saying anything?

“Come on, love. Do you trust me?”

Did he? Being the great actor Joonmyeon was, Yixing had a challenging time differentiating what was real and what was acting when it came to their ‘relationship.’ But even so, he found he did trust Joonmyeon, the Joonmyeon he had gotten to know so far. Also, Yixing was going to move here soon. Maybe it would be good to have some experience of how the city life was like. “I do.” What was he getting himself into, Yixing didn’t know, but he trusted that boy who was smiling radiantly at him.

After changing into casual clothes and leaving the hotel without being seen, they found themselves outside. Their hotel was near the heart of the city. So, they could walk over anywhere and do anything that was available at that hour. Joonmyeon said he got an idea of where to go tonight.

“Seriously?” Yixing said when they had arrived at their destination. They stood in line outside a dancing club. “We come here to dance when we could have danced back there?”

“This is different. I’ve always been curious about what it’s like to be at nightclubs. Haven’t you?”

Perhaps a little, but Yixing wasn’t even allowed to go in. He wasn’t a legal adult yet. “Did you forget I can’t come in?” he whispered, frowning.

Joonmyeon grinned. He took out his wallet and brought out an ID card. “With this, you can,” he said, handing it to Yixing.

Wu Yifan, nineteen years old, Yixing read on the fake ID with his picture, his recent school picture. “Where did you get this?” he leaned in to say in Joonmyeon’s ear. Had Joonmyeon planned they’d do this before? Boy, he was a mystery.

“I know a guy, love,” Joonmyeon said back in Yixing’s ear.

That husky voice made Yixing skip a heartbeat. “Whe-where did you get this picture from?” As far as Yixing remembered, he had never given any photograph to Joonmyeon.

“I might have asked your mom for one.”

Again, Yixing thought of how much his parents were thrilled with Joonmyeon... So much they had given him his picture! The idea of Joonmyeon keeping his picture, it was a little weird, but also endearing? If Joonmyeon still had it, of course, not a stranger. “Do you still have it?”

“Yes, look it’s in my wallet,” Joonmyeon said, smiling proudly.

It sure was. Yixing flinched, flushing a bit, but the elation of knowing Joonmyeon carried his picture didn’t go away. It made his stomach flip. But as the line had moved forward, and they were now only three people from entering, Yixing got nervous for another reason. “Will it work, Joonmyeon?”

“I sure hope so, love. Otherwise, we run.”

You gotta be kidding me, Yixing thought. It seemed that the innocent looking ones were the naughtiest. Hopefully, Joonmyeon was right, and they wouldn’t end up in jail or something. When it was their turn, Yixing nervously stared, holding his breath, as the guard exchanged glances between them and their IDs. He held Joonmyeon’s hand tighter. But in the end, the guard stepped aside and let them in. And Yixing could breathe out. At least they made it in without problems.

Joonmyeon took care of paying the entrance fee. Some techno music was playing inside. Multicolor lights illuminated the local. There was a dance floor with people moving to the music’s rhythm, but there were also some seats and tables here and there. The nightclub wasn’t packed with people yet, so they could easily find a seat. They sat next to each other, close enough to talk and hear what they said, despite the music.

“The ticket included a free drink,” Joonmyeon said, “Have you drank before?”

Yes, Yixing had drunk alcohol before. He had done it last year when Chanyeol’s college student cousin had come to visit and had said he’ll buy Chanyeol, Minseok, and him one beer each in secret. Honestly, Yixing hadn’t liked the taste of beer. It was disgusting, but given that everyone else had done it, he had to take it all. He got tipsy, which resulted in him agreeing to do dumb stuff like letting his friends shave half of his eyebrow (Chanyeol had lost part of his hair, though). His parents never found out he had drunk that night, the shaved eyebrow had he said was because of a dare. Thankfully, his mom’s make-up skills had helped him cover the shame until his eyebrow hair grew back.

“I didn’t even realize you missed half of your eyebrow, love,” Joonmyeon said, laughing once Yixing had finished his story.

“What about you, baobei?”

Joonmyeon didn’t have an embarrassing story like Yixing. He hadn’t drunk before turning eighteen, however. The same day of his eighteenth birthday, Joonmyeon drank a beer. He found the flavor was bearable, not his favorite, but drinkable. “So, do you want a drink?”

Perhaps it was the best if Yixing didn’t drink anything. What is he did something crazy again? What if he and Joonmyeon did something crazy? No, for this time it was better to be under clarity. “A club soda, please.”

“I’ll be right back, love.”

He saw Joonmyeon walking towards the bar. Yixing had to admit, that t-shirt favored Joonmyeon in the right places. That boy was undoubtedly the most handsome of everyone in there. Once again that day, Yixing got jealous when he saw someone approaching Joonmyeon. The audacity of some people, Joonmyeon was with him. Joonmyeon didn’t pay attention to that girl, however, and the girl left him alone. She better, Yixing thought. As his irritation cooled down, he wondered why he was starting to get jealous and bothered when people tried to hit on someone, who in the end wasn’t really his boyfriend.

Then, Joonmyeon returned with two club sodas in hand.

“You’re pretty popular, aren’t you?” Yixing asked, trying to mask the jealousy in his voice.

Joonmyeon chuckled. He grabbed Yixing’s hand. “I only have eyes for you, love.”

A cheesy line as always, but it still made Yixing smile. Although he wished he could believe in that. It still felt good to hear it, though. The rest of the time they drank and spoke of different things, mostly remembering happenings from their school life. Until they had finished their drinks and Joonmyeon suggested they hit the dance floor.

Yixing thought he was reasonably good at dancing. Joonmyeon, on the other hand, well, it was adorable to put it nicely. But Joonmyeon didn’t seem to care that his moves were outdated, out of synch, rather silly. Yixing didn’t mind either, he loved to see Joonmyeon having fun. The only problem was that the closer they came sometimes made Yixing’s pulse rise and his cheeks turn warm.

They danced until they were sweating, until their knees felt like giving up and they decided to sit down. They decided it was time to leave. Before that, Joonmyeon went to the bathroom. Yixing stayed waiting at their table. He took out his phone and saw it was twelve o’clock. He wondered if Mrs. Kim had realized they were gone, but he didn’t have any missed calls from his parents. So, it must be okay.

“Hey beautiful,” a voice spoke. Some random guy took a seat next to Yixing. That guy’s proximity made Yixing uncomfortable, and he realized he hated that the guy had called him beautiful. He preferred to hear it only from Joonmyeon. Yixing scooted over.

“Wanna dance?” the guy asked, again sliding closer to Yixing.

“No. I’m here with my boyfriend,” Yixing said, hoping his harsh tone would drive away the guy.

“Why don’t you dump him?”

“Why don’t you go away?”

The guy laughed. “Oh, we could have so much fun together, baby.”

“No. Now please leave.”

“Come on, one dance. I’ll show how fun it could be.”

If that guy didn’t leave soon, Yixing would end up slapping his face, not caring that the guy was drunk. He was starting to get annoyed and uncomfortable. “I said no. Get out of here.”

Now the guy put his arm around Yixing and a hand on his leg, caressing it. He leaned in to say, “Come on sweetheart, don’t be so uptight. One dance?”

That was it. “Leave me alone!” Yixing hissed. He fought to push away the guy's hand and arm, but that idiot had a fast grip on him. He was going to shout for help when suddenly, someone else grabbed his arm and helped him get up. Yixing found himself surrounded by Joonmyeon’s arms. He raised his arm to hold Joonmyeon back.

“Hey, don’t you dare touch my boyfriend!”

The guy stood up, smirking. “Why not, shorty?”

Joonmyeon carefully let go of Yixing. “Because of this,” he said before turning his hand into a fist and smashing it against the guy’s face. Yixing gasped, looking at the guy wincing in pain. Still, in shock, Yixing felt Joonmyeon grabbing his hand and swiftly guided them out of the club. Once outside, they continued running away passing through the streets and the people that were starting their night out. Their long run took them to a water fountain. They sat down, panting and trying to recover their breath.

“You-you hit him,” Yixing said.

Joonmyeon closed his eyes. He let out a long sigh. “I don’t usually have a short fuse. I don’t think violence solves anything. But seeing that guy clinging to you against your will just made me so pissed, and I couldn’t help it… Sorry for ruining the night,” Joonmyeon apologized. “I hope you don’t change your mind about me.”

Yixing grabbed Joonmyeon’s hand. Joonmyeon opened his eyes and looked at him questioningly. Yixing smiled. “I could never change my mind about you. Honestly, I think I was gonna end up hit him anyway. So, it’s okay, technically is not, but for me it’s okay.”

Joonmyeon intertwined their hands together. “Well, I guess now that we got the full clubbing experience, we should go back to the hotel.”

Yixing couldn’t agree more.

They walked back to the hotel together, holding hands and paying more attention to the nightlife of the city. If Yixing had Joonmyeon by his side, he felt he wouldn’t fear anything living there on his own next year, neither would he be bored. If only… Well, at least they would remain friends, hopefully. So, they could always be chances to meet again.  

The next morning, Yixing woke up from a… Peculiar dream. He looked at the ceiling. The traces of his dream became clearer. He and Joonmyeon had been dancing the waltz in the hotel venue from last night. They had stared at each other straight in the eye. And at some point, both had leaned in to lock their lips together. Joonmyeon, in his dream he had kissed Joonmyeon. Yixing’s heart rate rose. That image made his stomach tingle. Why had he dreamed that?

“Rise and shine, love,” Joonmyeon said.

Yixing sat up, blushing. He saw Joonmyeon, who was already clad in regular closes and his things were packed in his bag. “Go-good morning, Joonmyeon,” Yixing stuttered.

Joonmyeon smiled. “Get ready, honey. We have a long road ahead of us after breakfast.”

The ride back was tranquil. Joonmyeon’s mother had never found out they had left their hotel last night. That night would become his and Joonmyeon’s secret now. And Yixing felt joyful when he remembered that Joonmyeon had cared about him, so much that he had punched that guy. Was he perhaps jealous? Or was it just because of his act? Or maybe because if something had happened to him, it would have been Joonmyeon’s fault? No matter what it was, Yixing still felt somewhat happy.

By lunchtime, they had parked outside Joonmyeon’s house. Even though Yixing could have perfectly walked home on his own, Joonmyeon offered to drive him there anyway. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, so Yixing gave in. A few minutes later, they were outside Yixing’s house.

“I had a really fun time. Thanks for inviting me, baobei,” Yixing said.

“Thank you for coming, love… I guess I’ll see you later for our regular parfait?”

Yixing nodded, of course, they would. “Goodbye, then.”

“Oh, wait.”

They both got off the car. Joonmyeon opened the car trunk. He gave Yixing his bag, but he also took out the huge box in wrapping paper that Yixing had seen earlier.

Oh no, Yixing thought.

“This is for you, love.” Joonmyeon grinned.

“Joonmyeon, if this is because of the other day, now it’s me who says you seriously didn’t have to.”

“I planned to give this to you way before you gifted me the lighthouse. But it wasn’t until this morning I could pick it up.”

Well, whatever it was, Yixing couldn’t decline to that lovely boy’s smile. He ended up taking the box with him. He thanked and said goodbye to his ‘boyfriend.’ After a summary of yesterday’s party, omitting the clubbing part, Yixing went upstairs to his room. He could explain his trip to his family later, right now, he was curious about what was inside that box. Once the box was unwrapped, he opened it and gasped. He couldn’t believe it. In his hands, he was holding a black leather violin case. When Yixing opened it, inside was a brand-new violin along with a couple of bows. There was also a note attached to the violin. Yixing took the piece of paper.

Yixing,

Even if you think it’s too late, it shouldn’t mean you should stop playing altogether. I would love to hear you play one day, but I’ll understand it if you don’t want me to. Have fun.

With love,

Joonmyeon.

Yixing smiled, so widely all his dimples appeared. Joonmyeon was too much, too confusing, too thoughtful, too wonderful, too beautiful, too amazing to let go.

He couldn’t understand why his eyes got watery.