Day fifteen

Yixing stared at the water lilies floating to his left. The white flowers were eye-catching, contrasting with the green lily pads and the dark water. Usually, the flowers only lasted for a few days, while the lily pads remained there for the rest of the season. Joonmyeon had thought it would be fun if they could row to see where the flowers grew before they withered. And not only did Yixing see the water lilies, but they were also surrounded by green leafy trees, a bright blue sky, and warm sunlight. The ASMR sounds that came from the oars propelling the water was a plus too. Today was their second-week ‘anniversary,’ and again, Joonmyeon had planned something lovely. Earlier, they had gone to the ice-cream shop as usual. They had even gotten another free ice-cream for coming so many times. After that, Joonmyeon took them on this boat trip. Yixing enjoyed this type of calm ‘date.’ Though, he would enjoy it even more if Joonmyeon let him row the rowboat as well.

“Do you want me to take over now, baobei?”

Joonmyeon shook his head, smiling. “No, love, I told you I don’t mind.”

Even if Joonmyeon smiled the way he always did, it didn’t bring Yixing any relief. That had been the third time he had asked Joonmyeon that question. They had been rowing in the river for quite some time now, yet Joonmyeon still refused to let Yixing do something. “Aren’t your arms getting tired?”

“Not yet, besides I’ve been going at a slow pace, it’s fine.”

Yixing nodded. Next time he wasn’t going to ask, he would just take the oars from Joonmyeon’s grasp directly. That boy seemed to always go the extra mile for him ever since their ‘relationship’ had begun. And while Yixing did value Joonmyeon’s efforts, and they did make him happy, sometimes it felt Joonmyeon did everything to please him, maybe to prevent him from getting bored and end their ‘relationship’ earlier. Yixing thought perhaps Joonmyeon didn’t want the opportunity to improve his acting skills to go away so easily. Or maybe Joonmyeon didn’t wish to… No, he said he wouldn’t go there again. It couldn’t possibly be that.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. Nothing. Why?”

“It’s the second time you’ve been staring at me without saying anything. Do I have something on my face?” Joonmyeon chuckled.

Yixing gulped, feeling how his cheeks turned slightly warm. How embarrassing! It had happened again this day. Ever since that night they encountered Mr.Do, it seemed Yixing liked to rest his gaze and get lost in Joonmyeon’s eyes, rosy lips, ears, brown hair, or any other detail of his face. It was an unaware action, Yixing thinking about something while staring at Joonmyeon. The person sitting in front of him was beautiful, anyone would do the same. Could Yixing admit that to him? It somewhat felt more embarrassing than saying a pet-name. Sure, Joonmyeon had told him he was beautiful before, but then again, what if Joonmyeon didn’t think that, but had to say it because of his acting skills? If that were the case, then Yixing would only make a fool of himself if he admitted it to Joonmyeon. He didn’t want to take any risks.

“So?” Joonmyeon asked.

“You have nice hair,” Yixing said.

Joonmyeon laughed warmheartedly, thanking him, which made Yixing smile. Well, that was true too.

They went back to their rowboat outing in silence, each one trapped in their own thoughts. Two weeks had passed since they started their ‘relationship.’ And during those days, Yixing had gotten to know more about Joonmyeon than in the last six years. Yet there were still things he was curious about. After spending so much time together, Yixing felt they could ask each other anything without feeling like an intruder.

“Joonmyeon?”

“Yes, love?”

“Have you ever been in love? And don’t answer you’re it with me. I mean, outside of all this performance.”

Joonmyeon laughed. “Well, I suppose I have. Haven’t we all been in love at some point in our lives?”

“Yeah… Can I ask who is it?” Oddly, Yixing’s heart accelerated a bit while eagerly waiting for Joonmyeon’s answer. Would it be someone he knew? Maybe it was someone from their class? Or was it…?

“It happened a while ago. And it’s-” Joonmyeon averted his gaze from Yixing, staring at their surroundings while he thought. Then he smiled and shook his head. “It’s not important. Oh look, there’s a pink water lily.”

Yixing stared at where Joonmyeon was pointing. And sure enough, a single pink flower was amid the white ones. Yixing squinted his eyes. By the evasive tone of Joonmyeon’s voice, he knew Joonmyeon wanted to avoid the topic. What if Joonmyeon had also gotten rejected and didn’t like talking about it like Yixing did? Was that why he had said that getting rejected wasn’t the end of the world? Either way, Joonmyeon must be over it, since he had also said a heartache eventually passes. Perhaps Joonmyeon did talk from experience. And now Yixing wondered who that person had been. Who could have rejected Joonmyeon? Anyone would be the luckiest to be with Joonmyeon. Then again, Yixing had gotten rejected too, even if he had thought he and Mr. Do were ‘perfect’ for each other. In reality, it was Mr. Do and Mr. Oh who were perfect together. And that was okay, Yixing understood it now. There was no hope left, or use grieving and shedding tears. When he found someone, he loved and loved him back, then he’ll surely think they were perfect… Like how he and Joonmyeon appeared to be during this act. Nevertheless, whatever questions Yixing had regarding Joonmyeon’s love life, Joonmyeon appeared reluctant to answer. He should respect that.

“Okay, that’s it. It’s my turn now,” Yixing said. He reached forward to grab the oars from Joonmyeon. But suddenly he stopped midway, his hands resting on top of Joonmyeon’s. Quickly, Joonmyeon released the paddles and turned his hands to hold Yixing’s. With that proximity, with their sweaty palms holding each other, and with Joonmyeon’s gaze on him, Yixing got lost in Joonmyeon’s eyes again. It was another one of those situations Yixing didn’t know what to do. It felt like one of those moment’s that lead to something crucial. Was that why it felt as if he had a belly full of butterflies? Yet neither of them came closer. So perhaps it wasn’t.

“You-you have nice hair, Yixing,” Joonmyeon said, even if he wasn’t exactly looking on top of Yixing’s head.

“You do too, Joonmyeon.”

“I know, you’ve said that before.”

“Yeah.”

As if they were two magnets, they couldn’t take their eyes from each other. Until an external force intervened in the form of a phone ringing and vibrating in Yixing’s pocket. That was their cue to break whatever it was they were doing. Yixing backed away, and Joonmyeon grabbed the oars again and continued rowing. Yixing took out his phone. It had been a text message from Baekhyun, telling him that a package had arrived for him. That was quick, Yixing thought. Then again, he had paid for the express shipping from their neighboring town. The pizza dinner he had prepared for Joonmyeon still hadn’t felt enough. So, Yixing had thought some more until he got it. And it was brilliant, something he’ll give Joonmyeon as their ‘second-anniversary’ gift. Besides, more than receiving, he liked the feeling of giving someone a gift, and see how happy or surprised they turned due to it. Most often he found precisely what people liked. This would surely make Joonmyeon happy.

“Do you wanna go back now?” Joonmyeon asked.

Yixing nodded, but gave Joonmyeon a glare as he said, “But you better let me do something now.”

Joonmyeon grinned. He let go of the oars. “Go ahead, love.”

Back in town, Yixing asked Joonmyeon if he wanted to go to his house. One because he wanted to give him the present, and two because Yixing’s mom wanted Joonmyeon to have dinner with them again. It was still too early for dinner, but Joonmyeon didn’t mind waiting until then with him. So, they walked home together. Yixing wondered how his parents would take it when he told them in two weeks they that they had broken up. He wondered how he would feel when that happened.

While Joonmyeon remained seated in the living room, playing video games with Baekhyun, Yixing went to his room. He opened the package laying on his desk. In another packaging, there was the miniature figure of the lighthouse he and Joonmyeon had visited. It was pretty, much prettier than what he had expected. It was the size of a 500-ml water bottle, the perfect size Joonmyeon could take with him wherever he moved to when he became a top-notch actor. And it would be something that, hopefully, would remind him of Yixing. He smiled, Joonmyeon would surely love it. Looking around in his room, he didn’t have any wrapping paper. But Joonmyeon was gonna rip it off anyway. He put the big box away in his closet and hid the lighthouse behind his pillows.

Yixing went downstairs and asked Joonmyeon to come with him. Baekhyun looked at them suspiciously, but Yixing only rolled his eyes and said they’ll return soon.

When Joonmyeon walked into Yixing’s room, he looked around. He smiled when he noticed the photo strip pasted on Yixing’s mirror. He stepped forward to Yixing’s desk and said, “Your ASMR desk! And the sheep figure on the corner.” Joonmyeon patted the sheep toy. “I can’t believe I’m in your room.”

Yixing laughed to himself. And before Joonmyeon turned around, he took the lighthouse from his bed. He swallowed, and he told himself to just do it. “Happy second week anniversary, baobei,” he said, holding the present outwards for Joonmyeon to take it.

Joonmyeon turned around and looked at him confused. “You got me a present? That wasn’t necessary, love.”

“After everything you’ve done, it’s really nothing.”

“And I did it without hoping to get anything in return. Your smile is enough, honey. That’s all I need.”

Yixing chuckled. Wow, they really were a cheesy fake couple. “Come on, just take it. Otherwise, I’ll be sad, and you won’t see me smiling.”

Still hesitating, Joonmyeon grabbed the box. He opened it, and his mouth fell open. He dropped the packaging on the floor and held the little lighthouse while he observed every single detail. “Oh my god, this is…”

“The lighthouse! I know you said you like to go there every year. But when you move to the city, or when you become the famous actor Kim Joonmyeon, it’ll probably be hard to find the time to come visit our small town. I figured this way you’ll always have it with you, wherever you are,” Yixing said proudly.

“Where did you find this?”

“You can find anything on the Internet nowadays.”

Joonmyeon let out a laugh. “Yixing, this is perfect. I-I… Thank you, really, thank you so much.” He grinned, that perfect broad smile that made Yixing instantly smile back, and now, brought a heartwarming feeling to Yixing’s chest. He had succeeded!

“Can I ask you something?” Joonmyeon said, timidly.

“Sure.”

“Could I… Give you a hug?”

Yixing gulped, blinking a few times. A hug. That couldn’t be so bad, could it? He had hugged his friends before. This wouldn’t be any different than those times he had hugged Minseok and Chanyeol. Yet why did it made him feel slightly nervous? Stop it, Yixing, he told himself. It was a simple, inoffensive hug, just like holding hands.

“But if you don’t want to, I completely understand,” Joonmyeon said, smiling at him reassuringly, even if Yixing could have sworn he had seen the slight disappointment on his face. Joonmyeon reached down to pick up the box and put the lighthouse back in its packaging.

For the love of god, just do it, a voice in his head spoke to Yixing. “Go ahead,” he said at last.

“What?”

“Eh… Hu-hug me.”

Joonmyeon looked surprised, then he nodded. He put the box on the desk. He walked forward to stand in front of Yixing. And without further ado, he just surrounded his arms around Yixing’s upper back.

Their faces were so close, well, they were the same height after all. Yixing could smell the scent of Joonmyeon’s shampoo. He felt the slow acceleration of the rhythm in his heartbeats. He felt the warmth that covered his cheeks. But Yixing couldn’t manage to raise his arms and hug Joonmyeon back. This was a different hug, unlike any other, he had received before. And that notion made him feel unable to react on time.

“Thank you again,” Joonmyeon said after he let go of Yixing. He looked normal, unaffected by the ‘intimate’ moment they had just shared. But it was only a hug after all. What was there to make a big deal about?

“You’re we-welcome,” Yixing said, still somewhat dazed. “We-we should go back now.”

“Yes, love,” Joonmyeon said, smiling.

I can't believe it took me a month to finish this... whatever this chapter is hahaha anyway, we're a little more than halfway there!