Day thirty; the end is the beginning

Joonmyeon, meet me in one hour where the stars shine the brightest! ✨

After reading one more time the text message he had sent Joonmyeon earlier, Yixing put his phone back in his pocket. There were roughly twenty minutes left until said time. He hoped Joonmyeon would have guessed which place he meant. Well, Joonmyeon had answered ‘Okay’ and nothing else, so maybe Joonmyeon did understand it, but Yixing still doubted. He was nervous. It had become one of those clouded summer days in which the sky was gray, and it might rain any moment now.

In the morning, when he and Baekhyun had searched, found, and followed the red strings attached to the trees, they managed to get to the clearing, Joonmyeon’s favorite place. Calling Joonmyeon right then might have been prudent as there hadn’t been any risk of rain. However, last night, Yixing had thought of preparing some things to make it memorable. So, he and Baekhyun had worked all morning to finish on time, around the early afternoon. Now he wasn’t sure if it was good enough, though, and the sudden rain forecast didn’t help either.

He followed Baekhyun as the latter scattered rose petals on the grass. Yixing looked around the clearing. In the center, just like during the stargazing night, the picnic set up was done. There were a fluffy blanket and some large pillows. On top, there was a picnic basket containing food such as fruits, croissants, cookies, and more, there was even a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne and two glasses. The red rose petals that were dispersed here and there contrasted with the green grass. It looked lovely, but somehow it almost felt as what Joonmyeon had done the other day, not original at all; Yixing wanted it to be special, more special than that time he had confessed to Kyungsoo at the bookstore. “This doesn’t feel overused… Does it?” he asked.

Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders. “Isn’t most type of romance overused? Almost nothing is unique nowadays. But if you do it out of love, Joonmyeon will be happy about it. Everyone appreciates feeling loved. And details like this show you love him.”

Yixing widened his eyes bemused. Sometimes Baekhyun was a riddle, with a wittiness that Yixing didn’t know where his little brother got from. The little boy could be grossed out by seeing him, and Joonmyeon ‘almost kiss’ but had these astute words about romance. Truly a mystery. But Baekhyun’s words were most likely true, which gave Yixing some comfort. Everything Joonmyeon had done for him, Yixing had cherished it, even if it were things someone would do in a romantic movie. Joonmyeon would probably feel the same about this too. He laughed. As always, he kept thinking too much. “Are you sure you’re just eleven-years-old?”

“Oh Xing-Xing, I’m smarter than you think,” Baekhyun said, winking at Yixing and throwing the last rose petals on the grass. “And it’s done!”

Yixing smiled. If it hadn’t been for Baekhyun, who had helped him not only find the clearing in the morning but also buy and carry all the stuff needed, he probably wouldn’t have made it on time. “Thank you, Baek. I know it was at the last minute, and you had other plans, but thank you.”

Baekhyun returned the smile. “It’s nothing. I like Joonmyeon. He’s a good fellow. And he… Made you play the violin again. I’m happy about that… Even if it can be annoying at times, especially in the mornings.” Baekhyun shook his head. “Besides, you said you’ll buy me ‘Forza seven’ if I helped, so I’ll be waiting for that.”

Grinning, Yixing nodded his head. He squeezed his left hand, holding the violin case tighter. He thought back on all the things that had changed over the past month, not only the feelings in his heart but also what he would do with his life. In a way, it was all thanks to Joonmyeon. What they said was probably true, being with the right person brought the best in someone.

“Well, I better go now. I’ll text you if I see Joonmyeon,” Baekhyun said. He put on his helmet and got on his bicycle. “And don’t worry, Yixing, my lips are sealed. I won’t tell him you forgot your anniversary and did everything in a rush.”

“Thanks,” Yixing replied, waving goodbye to his little brother. That had been the excuse he had told Baekhyun, and even if it was true (sort of), the main point was that he was going to confess his feelings.

Once Baekhyun was out of sight, Yixing sat down on the grass, in the spot he’d be playing at, where he was surrounded by the red rose petals. He took out his phone again. Fifteen more minutes. His heart started hammering against his chest. Last night, after his talk with Kyungsoo, Yixing had realized many things. One, he was in love with Joonmyeon. Two, he was ninety-five percent certain Joonmyeon liked him back, had always liked him. But the other five percent of uncertainty still affected him. If Yixing was wrong, yet again, and Joonmyeon had been indeed acting, well, he couldn’t blame Joonmyeon for it, after all, it had been made clear since almost the beginning. So, this might be heartbreaking. But another thing Yixing had decided last night was that it didn’t matter what doubts he had. He was going to say it anyway. He was tired of giving up the things he loved due to fear. This wouldn’t become another one of his life’s regret that he’ll think about in the future, no, he would do this. And if things did turn out sad, Yixing won’t give up either. He’d continue trying and trying to win that lovely boy’s heart, if Joonmyeon didn’t mind of course.

The phone laying on the grass vibrated. Baekhyun had messaged him, saying he saw Joonmyeon on his way. Okay, that meant Joonmyeon would actually arrive in time today. He only had a few minutes left. Nervously, he tried to fix his hair. He cleared his throat, even though he wasn’t going to sing. Then, Yixing opened the violin case and took out the instrument and a bow.

Eleven days. That was the amount of time Yixing had prepared to perform the ‘Waltz of the Flowers.’ This version was relatively easy to play on the violin and lasted around two minutes, a good start to playing again. ‘Waltz of the flowers’ was one of the first pieces he had learned as a child, his favorite piece of orchestral music from ‘The Nutcracker’ too. Six years might have passed since the last time he had played the violin, but even so, Yixing did still seem to remember how to play. And after eleven days, he did manage to learn the notes of the piece by heart. The melody was another thing. Yixing hadn’t been entirely confident in how it came out, in the intonation. His vibrato was no longer what it used to be back in the days. It wasn’t surprising; his playing skills were rusty. With more time he might have been able to polish his technique. But this could work too. Because during those days he also remembered how much fun he had, how much he loved playing the violin, and most importantly, how much he had missed it tremendously. Playing again had made him happy, no matter if he was critical of himself. It shouldn’t matter if it weren’t coming out perfectly, there would be enough time to improve later. Right now, Yixing simply wanted to play for Joonmyeon. This performance would be for him.

Yixing instantly stood up when he saw Joonmyeon nearing the clearing, walking out of the lush woodland. This was it. He didn’t have time to see Joonmyeon’s expression. Instead, he positioned the violin and the bow in their place, the fingers of his left hand were situated on the fingerboard, ready to play the first note, while his right hand held the bow against the strings. He felt his hands sweating. He closed his eyes and took one deep breath. When he opened them again, his vision focused on nothing but the violin he was holding. Then, Yixing simply played that first note.

Two minutes, one hundred and twenty seconds, usually that time passed rapidly, quickly, in the blink of an eye. But when Yixing played the violin, when he felt the ebony against his jaw, when his fingers swiftly readjusted themselves in the fingerboard to either press one string or stay up, when he continuously raised and lowered his elbow to maneuver the bow, everything seemed timeless. He immersed himself, his mind, his body into creating clear notes, a joyful harmony, a melody. He poured all his heart into that endless yet fleeting moment. And by the time Yixing was done, he stopped in the exact motion he had played the last note and paused. He closed his eyes again. He took a deep breath again. It was done. He had played in front of someone. He swallowed.

The first thing Yixing heard was the sound of Joonmyeon clapping. When he opened his eyes, he saw Joonmyeon standing in front of him at a considerable distance. Joonmyeon was smiling, genially, the way that made Yixing instantly smile back, so widely his dimples showed.

Yixing bent down and put the instrument back on the case. 

“That was amazing, Yixing. As I expected, you play so wonderfully. Really amazing.” Joonmyeon said once he had finished clapping.

Yixing stood up straight. He took a step forward. “The intonation wasn’t quite adequate. It lacked a bit… But I still wanted to play for you.”

Joonmyeon smiled widely. “I’m glad you did. Thank you, Yixing. To my ears, that sounded delightful. And you look so beautiful when you play.”

‘Beautiful’ that word made Yixing blush. He averted his gaze from Joonmyeon. His heart skipped a beat. His belly tingled. Only Joonmyeon could cause those reactions now. “Tha-thank you,” he stuttered.

“I love the ‘Waltz of the Flowers.”

“You know it?” Yixing asked, gasping.

“Yeah. I told you, I like classical music too. My mom and I always went to watch ‘The Nutcracker’ when I was little.”

Yixing nodded, smiling. “It’s my favorite piece of ‘The Nutcracker.’”

And then it was silent. Joonmyeon looked around the clearing, his eyes seeing the picnic set up and the rose petals scattered around. Meanwhile, Yixing thought of how to begin. This was more nerve-wracking than anything. Then, he heard Joonmyeon sigh.

“Yixing, what is all this? I thought we said we’d meet up… And break up.”

Not if Yixing could avoid it. He smiled. “You know, Joonmyeon, I used to have this dream that one day in the far future, I’d be the first solo violin in the orchestra of a renewed ballet company like the New York City Ballet.”

Joonmyeon looked even more confused than earlier. “What?”

Yixing kept being ambiguous, though. “If six years ago that seemed an arduous thing to achieve, now it’s basically impossible. But thanks to you, I found out I can become the next best thing.”

“Thanks to… Me?” Joonmyeon asked, pointing at himself.

“Yes, you,” Yixing nodded his head. “If you hadn’t given me that violin, I would have never realized it, how much I truly loved and missed playing.”

Joonmyeon’s expressions softened. “What is the next best thing then?”

Yixing grinned. “A music teacher! Maybe in a couple years, after I’ve practiced enough, I can become a violin teacher, but for now, a music teacher sounds all right.”

Joonmyeon gaped. “Really? A music teacher? You’ll change your college application?”

“It’s a good thing those don’t have to be in until November. Otherwise, it would have been pretty unfortunate. But yes, a music teacher. I’ll be much happier that way than becoming a doctor out of practicality.”

“Wow,” Joonmyeon said. He beamed again. “I’m glad I could help you. Like I said, you play wonderfully.”

Okay, here it was. No more detours, Yixing would say it now. “And you know why?”

“No.”

“Because I’m done giving up the things I love… And that includes the one I love. I don’t want any more regrets in my life.”

For a moment, Joonmyeon frowned. He crossed his arms. “Does that mean you’re gonna chase after Mr. Do after this?” Joonmyeon huffed. “Good luck with that.”

Yixing laughed inwardly. Joonmyeon looked rather cute being jealous. “No. I’m gonna chase after someone else.”

“Huh? Then, who did you fell for this time?” Joonmyeon asked, averting his gaze away from Yixing, looking at the trees instead.

Yixing grinned. “You,” he said point-blank. “I fell in love with you.”

Joonmyeon went numb. He stared at Yixing with widened eyes, an open mouth, and arms hanging free.

Amid Joonmyeon’s silence, Yixing wondered nervously what would happen now. Was it a positive numbness? Or was it a negative one? He really hoped for the first one. Suddenly, Yixing felt something hitting his cheek. He touched his cheek, and it was wet. It had been a water drop. Yixing looked up the sky and saw that undoubtedly, rain would fall soon.

“Wha-what? Are you se-serious?” Joonmyeon stammered.

Yixing nodded his head. “Yes! Of course, I did. In the past, I had no idea of the wonderful person you were. I guess I was too engrossed with the wrong person to pay attention to anyone else. But these thirty days, Kim Joonmyeon, I found out the caring, loving, wonderful person you are. I love your enthusiasm, I love your smiles, I love how you seem to be stuck in the early 2000’s with your CDs and DVDs, I love how you care for the ones you love, I love your gentleness, and so much else.” He smiled. “And I want to stay by your side because thirty days weren’t enough to be with you, Joonmyeon. I’ll need an eternity, but heck maybe that wouldn’t be enough either.”

Joonmyeon chuckled. He started walking closer to Yixing.

“And if you happen to feel the same, I’ll be damn happy, and we’ll celebrate it with this picnic because everything you see here was done for you. But if you don’t feel the same, I still won’t give up. I’ll persuade you until you feel the same, or until you tell not too.” Yixing let out a laugh. “Because… I’m in love with you, and I’m not giving up.”

Yixing fell water drops running down all over his face. It had started drizzling.

Now Joonmyeon stood in front of Yixing, only an arm’s distance away. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that, Zhang Yixing? These thirty days have been thrilling, being by your side, pretending your mine and only mine. But it can’t compare to this moment, to you saying you’re in love with because, god, I’ve been in love with you for months. And I’m not acting, I’m saying this one hundred percent honestly, with all of my heart, that belongs to you, I’m in love with you.”

And all of Yixing’s doubts vanished, all that five percent hesitation. Everything was a joy. He smiled, he laughed, because they had both been too dumb, too complicated when it could have been this easy. “I should be mad at you, Kim Joonmyeon, for lying to my face, and for all those other times I asked if you were acting… When you actually loved me.”

Joonmyeon scratched his nape. “Well, yes, I admit, I used these thirty days hoping that you would end up loving me. And the only times I acted was when I told you I was acting… And when I denied being in love with you. I’m sorry, but… I couldn’t stand hearing you say no, Yixing. Seeing you throw away my letter had hurt, so much. I didn’t want to know how it’d feel hearing you say no.”

“So that letter was yours after all?”

“Comic Sans is my favorite font. And if you had paid attention, the first letter of each line spelled out my name… I thought you would have figured it out, but you see how that went.”

Yixing chuckled. He shook his head. “I’m sorry about that too. But I was just…”

Joonmyeon laughed back. “Dumbly in love with the wrong person.” He raised his hands to cup Yixing’s cheeks, his thumb caressed Yixing’s skin. “But I promise you, no more lies now.”

“No more lies,” Yixing repeated.

Joonmyeon took another step forward. “Say it again, Yixing.”

Yixing had a good guess of what Joonmyeon meant. “I’m in love with you.”

Joonmyeon leaned in closer, smiling. “Who?”

The drizzle had been replaced with a heavy rain now, drenching Yixing’s and Joonmyeon’s clothes instantly. But neither seemed to care. Instead, they kept staring into each other’s eyes, drawing closer and closer.

Yixing felt his heart rate quickening. “I’m in love with you.”

“Again.”

The tips of their noses touched.

Yixing’s belly was full of crazy butterflies flying around. “I’m in love with you.”

Joonmyeon tilted his head. He brought his lips closer to Yixing’s. “One more time, Yixing. The more you say it, the more I’ll believe it,” he said softly.

“I’m in love with you, Kim Joonmyeon,” Yixing managed to whisper before Joonmyeon locked their lips together.

The soft touch of Joonmyeon’s lips colliding with his own brought Yixing a whole new experience of sensations. He held his arms around Joonmyeon’s waist, bringing him closer to his body, loving how warm it felt, despite the cold rain falling. The pitter-patter of water droplets hitting the grass went mute. The only thing he heard now was how Joonmyeon struggled to breathe, just like him, because neither of them wanted to end that kiss, that touch. And they simply continued enjoying that moment amid the rain.

Eventually, the kiss stopped, though. And they didn’t let go of each other. Joonmyeon released Yixing’s cheeks to surround his arms around Yixing too. They rested their foreheads against each other, feeling the texture of wet hair touching. And they remained there, standing in the clearing, surrounded by red rose petals, hugging under the rain, with closed eyes, not minding one bit the colder it got because they found an inexplicable warmness in being together.

When Yixing opened his eyes, he said, “This picnic is ruined now.” He laughed.

Joonmyeon chuckled, looking at Yixing too. “It seems to be.”

Yixing smiled. “Then, how about for our first date as a real couple, we go to the reopening of the movie theater? Does that sound like a date, baobei?”

Joonmyeon grinned. “Yes, anything you want, my love.”

Final Author's Note

Aaaand we’re done! Thanks so much for reading! And I’m so thankful to you lovelies who supported this fic through a comment/upvote! <333 I was pleasantly surprised with the reception you all gave this story! :o Seriously, I was always so touched whenever some of you said you liked this fic, that you were gonna miss it and so on ;w; You guys are such a sweethearts! ^///^ <3

Well, I can’t believe I actually went through with this fic. “Slice of life” is my excuse to almost no efforts in plot or character development. This fic is basically: Yixing doubting and hesitating, Joonmyeon being head over heels for him but also afraid of rejection, and then we have me including random tidbits like ASMR… hahaha (I love ASMR >w<) Other stuff didn’t make much sense *cough* the violin performance scene lol And of course, it was cliché. Phew!

But, overall, it didn’t turn out as horrible as I had originally thought it’d be (which explains the big warning in the 1st chapter haha). And I came to enjoy a lot writing about these two cuties! I’m gonna miss it too ;w;

Anyway, thank you! <3