I have had the most terrible and the longest headache for the first time since I was born, I don't even recall crying that much before, even the day I was born, even the day my mom died, even the day I thought I would lose it all I didn't, but this time it was much more, I felt rejected by the only person I want to make happy, I felt rejected by doing the only thing I thought I would succeed in as a woman, for the only gift I would offer to this hideous world, what made me live in peace for this pointed time was that I knew I would have someone to stand by me at all times and give me a warm smile on tough days, but I was received by the feeling that I'm doing it wrong, but how could I possibly do it wrong, there are people out there who wish they had this opportunity, wish they had this grace, yet I wasn't getting recognition for giving him this- what seemed to be- a surprise. I somehow got used to this attitude of his, I've survived it all this long, we weren't the type of couple to say sweet words and kiss and make up, but we managed to express our feelings by simple sentences and looks in our eyes, I didn't even like the idea of him acting as other guys, that's why I fell for him in the first place he wasn't like anyone I knew but I just couldn't control myself, for the first time in my life, I needed a word from him to make me feel okay, this wasn't easy for me, this was a whole new world, a new point of view to look from, I was alone and scared, I needed assurance like everyone, I deserved it, this doesn't occur everyday, and after all I'm human, I get scared, I get worried and I needed someone to tell me it's going to be fine, and I believed that even though this wasn't typical to come out of his mouth it will happen, but I had hopes which I regret getting them up so high because I didn't receive what I really needed, I was left feeling worse, feeling like it's my fault, I felt the true meaning of pain and hurt, not because he didn't give me the honey wrapped words no, I never needed them, it was because he didn't seem pleased to have a child, my child.

“Déwei, your kids are here.” Luna said, looking a bit worried if she cut me out of my deep thinking as I told her many many times to knock before she comes in because I always forget what I was thinking and sometimes it's seriou