"You're pregnant."

I don't know what is with me, this sentence keeps repeating in my head but it lost all its meanings, I can't understand it, I can't feel any emotions towards it, I only keep asking myself what does me being pregnant mean, I can't think straight, but it makes sense I knew it was wired to wake up one day to feel the air heavier and I'm fed up with everything, I couldn't eat nor sleep, I wasn't the same understanding self I am, I knew it was wired when I got mad of him so easily, I never did that, I knew it was weird when his attitude pissed me even though I'm used to it and I'm never the kind to get angry about it. 

I knew it was weird when I couldn't bear the silence nor the noise, I couldn't do anything nor nothing, I cried till there was no more left tears to get out and without any solid reason, I kept thinking of those but all of them happened before and it didn't bother me so I thought why does it bother me now? Why is it clutching my heart that I can't breath? 

But it all makes sense now. And it scares me because I knew too well why I'm acting that way but I can't stop myself and I can't even ask for help, I can't ask for help that I desperately need because I know it's hard to receive and I know why it's hard to receive but I can't stop myself from feeling like this, screw these hormones that are keeping me from doing the only thing I'm good at which is understanding and accepting. Screw it for making this feel like a bu