“Yehwa?”

We jump apart like naughty kids caught snogging behind bleachers. “Namjoon.”

His hair has grown and although I’m unsure whether it’s due to the lighting, but his features seem more masculine, sharper somehow in the dim light of the apartment. His eyes go from my face to Jin’s, then settle back onto my brown orbs.

“Long time no see.” is what he says, features softening slightly.

I can’t help the smile crawling up on my face, “Been awhile, Namjoon.”

“It has. I almost forgot what your face looks like,” there’s amusement playing across his lips. He turns to Jin then, who I feel stiffen at my side.

“Hey, the name’s Namjoon Kim,” my said best friend flashes a smile before offering his hand, “I don’t think we’ve met before.”

“Indeed we haven’t.” Jin makes a grab for his handshake, quickly stuffing his hand back in his pocket, “So you’re the famous Namjoon that Yehwa always complains about.”

Namjoon shoots me a look, “What have you been saying about me?”

“Nothing much, just that you’re an annoying piece of .” I yelp when he punches my shoulder, ‘Hey! What was that for?!”

“Your sparkling personality.” Namjoon sticks out his tongue at me.

“Why you--” I proceed to grab onto his head and pull him into a head-lock, while Namjoon groans, words muffled against my arm as we engage into a private battle.

“Do you mind?”

Haeryung’s voice has me release Namjoon as if he has burnt me. I step back at Jin’s side, who I now notice is watching me with a levelled gaze that I can’t decipher. It’s then that I realize a little too late that maybe it hadn’t been the best thing to do when you haven’t seen your best friend in so long and when people don’t really know the nature of your relationship in the first place.

“We’ve been friends ever since our diaper days,” I tell Jin with a nervous chuckle, “He’s like family to me.”

Namjoon quickly wraps a hand around Haeryung’s waist. I wonder if his touch is as warm as his breath had felt against my arm a few seconds ago.

“This is Haeryung, my girlfriend.” Namjoon introduces.

“Nice to meet you,” Jin nods with a small smile, “I’m Seokjin Kim.”  

Haeryung mirrors back out of politeness and an awkward silence hangs in the air after the introductions. I’m not sure whether I should open up a new topic of conversation because Haeryung’s still sensitive about that whole Namjoon issue.

“Are you Yehwa’s classmate?” Haeryung suddenly asks, her tone neutral and passive. She has good self control, I’ll give her that.

“He’s my friend.” I say, “I met him in one of my classes.”

“Oh, you guys must be close then,’ Haeryung says, “I’m jealous. Most people in my class aren’t as friendly as they should be.”

“Why’s that?” Jin has the decency to ask and soon I find myself zoning out of the conversation, instead focusing on the other people at hand and wondering how I get myself into these awkward situations. I search for Jimin and Jungkook, and see them standing together with Eva, who’s busy explaining something with huge gestures before the younger of the two men reaches over to ruffle her hair in amusement. She pushes him away out of reflex, but even from this distance --and my terrible eyesight-- I notice the expression of pure happiness mixed with embarrassment on her face.

Is that what it looks like to be in love? I think to myself, Is this how I look when I talk to Jin or even think about him?

I don’t know about that.

“Are you ignoring me on purpose?”

Namjoon’s voice is closer than I expected, causing me to jump right out of my skin as I turn to see him standing. Jin and Haeryung are nowhere to be found, and it’s only when I see his jaw nudge in the direction of the food table that I catch sight of their two figures lined up to get some snacks.

“I think Haeryung’s having the time of her life.” Namjoon says, to which I can’t help but ask, “What makes you say that?”

“There’s actually someone that she can argue with about the French Revolution and Napoleon War.”

I snort, “Such interesting subject matter.”

“Are you trying to pick another fight?”

“Not at all,” I send him a wan smile, “Why would I, Namjoon? When we’re the bestest of friends?”

He holds my gaze for a moment, before a soft chuckle falls from his mouth, “I missed you and your stupid .”

“The last part wasn’t really necessary.”

“Can’t you just say thank you like any normal person?”

As we keep bickering back and forth, nostalgia brings back memories of the times we’ve spent together, and how I had been this close to losing him forever. Okay, maybe forever is a strong word, but I knew that things wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t ended up talking to Haeryung about the issue. And now that it’s resolved, I feel glad that nothing has changed between Namjoon and I. I initially thought it was going to be awkward because of such sensitive matters, but there’s no such thing as awkwardness when it comes to our friendship. It just doesn’t define how we are with each other. We grew so accustomed to having this permanence in our lives that erasing him would not have made sense.

I missed him. I missed him and I’m glad that I have him back even when I now have to share the better half of his heart with another girl.

“So,” Namjoon says as we settle down on one of the nearby couches with beers in hand. His eyes are stuck to Jin’s figure, and I noticed that he’d been staring at the pair all night. Whether it’s because he’s keeping an eye on Haeryung or is just intrigued by Seokjin as a person, I’ll never know, “This is the famous Seokjin you’ve mentioned?”

“Yeah,” the uncomfortable feeling comes back, lodges itself right in the middle of my chest like a bruise I can’t seem to get rid of, “He told me that he got to know Jungkook and Jimin during Soccer.”

“So he isn’t your guest?” Namjoon’s eyebrow raises curiously.

I shake my head, “No. I didn’t even know he knew them that well. But from what I saw, they seemed like pretty good friends.”

He shrugs, “I guess that’s a good thing. It won’t be so awkward when you start going out with him.”

Colour flushes right to my cheeks even when I turn my head to the other side, hoping that Namjoon won’t notice the embarrassment. My neck feels scorching hot all of a sudden, “Stop talking bull.” I mumble underneath my breath, loud enough for him to hear.

“Please don’t tell me you’re oblivious to his advances.” Namjoon sends me a pointed look, and exasperation fills his face when he notices my unsure expression, “Yehwa, his intentions are pretty clear.”

“I-I wasn’t completely sure, until tonight.” I brush a stray strand of hair back from my face, a habit of mine whenever I feel uncomfortable, “But yeah, I get what you mean.”

“Oh yeah,” He agrees, “You guys were totally going to make out if I hadn’t interrupted.”

“Shut up!” I scowl, though flames of red are probably at my cheeks by this point. I won’t be surprised if my face is glowing like a red fire engine.

“Do you like him?”

The question catches me off guard. I want to say yes. I want to say yes without having to hesitate and without having to question why I’m overanalyzing things in the first place. But as I open my mouth to agree, the words choke at the back of my throat and it feels as if I’m swallowing my own spit. Namjoon keeps his gaze onto mine, his head cocked to the side as I struggle to convey a clear response.

He mistakes my internal struggle for hesitance, and places a comforting arm around my shoulder.

“Hey,’ he murmurs, “What’s up? Why do you look so ashamed?”

I look at him and think how foolish he can be, how stupid of him to think that I’m ashamed of my own feelings when in truth I don’t actually know exactly what I’m feeling. There’s so many things going on that I feel overwhelmed by it all. Yes, I like Jin and maybe if I hadn’t seen Namjoon, maybe if he hadn’t interrupted our private moment, something might have happened. But now that Namjoon is here and giving me that probing stare of his, there is something holding me back like a rope tied too tightly around my wrist, practically cutting off the blood circulating through my veins.

“Yehwa, hey,” the man in question waves a hand in front of my face, and my gaze focuses back on his own brown orbs that are dark with worry and slight concern, “You okay?”

I turn away, partly ashamed that my mind is in s