“You like Yehwa, don’t you?”

For a minute, Hoseok lets the silence speak for him as a jolt of panic hits him right into his stomach. He’d had an inkling that Haeryung had been suspicious of him ever since she noticed how close he was with the said girl in question, but to dare come outright state the facts in his face-- that, he hasn’t mentally prepared himself for.

But Hoseok is a good liar.

And a good liar means a good actor.

He throws his head back and laughs. Not loud enough to make it sound fake but without any sound of nervousness that might give any of his personal feelings away.

Haeryung only watches him with a straight face, puzzlement causing her to frown as he keeps on laughing for a full minute, before finally calming himself down and shaking his head as though what she’s said is the most ridiculous thing in existence.

“You’re kidding.” He says, “Me? I like Yehwa?”

“Is it true?”

He folds his arms across his chest before smirking playfully, “I don’t know. You tell me.”

“Stop playing games with me, Hoseok.” she snaps impatiently, and he thinks that she’s just too gullible and prone to showcase her feelings to be the threat she claims to be, “I know you like her, and if you don’t want me to spill then you’d better do as I say.”

He looks at her as though she’s grown five heads, and then he breaks out into a chuckle. But it’s dark and filled with a hollow mockery, “Do it, then.” He taunts her,”Tell her, see if I care.”

“But you do.”

“I definitely do not,” he gives her a pointed look, making sure to keep up this facade till the very end, “You can do whatever you want. She won’t believe you because it’s not true.”

It’s only when Haeryung storms out of the flat that he lets out a shaky sigh of relief, hearing the door slam to indicate that he’s all alone. As soon as he realizes this, his mask crumbles as he feels the weight descend upon his shoulders like the universe is pressing down its worries onto his frame. Lips trembling, he proceeds to tangle his fingers into his dyed auburn locks while shaking his head adamantly.

It’s the only way to keep them all safe and he knows that. He has to be careful, especially where Haeryung is concerned. She’s definitely out to get Yehwa and the fact that she came to see him says more about her than anything ever would. It confirms his suspicions about her being a real , one that’s ready to strike if it means that she is the only one to stay by Namjoon’s side. Throughout all this, he wonders if she realizes that Namjoon’s happiness is as important as her own.

He lets out another groan of frustration upon thinking back to the chain of events that occurred a few minutes ago. He wonders briefly if, despite all this, Haeryung would still tell Yehwa about his feelings even with the bluff he’s just put on for the latter’s sake. She is someone that can’t be trusted and Hoseok’s previous wariness of her influence spikes at that thought.

The only thing he can do right now is pray that she won’t say anything else to Yehwa, pray that she won’t spill the beans so that this story doesn’t become even more complicated. Because if she does, then Hoseok will have to find another way to convince Yehwa that he isn’t into her.

Even when he’s lying.

He wishes it’s as simple as counting. He wishes that it’s all just a chemical equation that he can fit in and get a perfect solution.

Above all this, he wishes that he hadn’t grown feelings for someone he shouldn’t. It all runs full circle, for he remembers telling Yehwa about Namjoon and pushing her buttons. But he hadn’t been aware of his own feelings then, hadn’t known that it can get even more complicated than just a romance involving two people. He had tried to help her, not realizing that along the way he’d fallen for her tears, grown fond of the numerous mistakes, of all the flaws that she’d shown him. He admired her for all the battles she’d been going through while chastising her for neglecting her own feelings. Despite all this, he’d decided that it’s something to keep to himself, something that she doesn’t need to know, not yet anyway.

Not if he can help it.

Haeryung doesn’t need to glance at the shoe rack to know that Namjoon’s present. The flickering colours of the tv are in her peripheral, and she smoothly slides her shoes out of her feet before pattering over to where her boyfriend is currently sitting. He has his back to her, and a quick glance towards the television screen confirms that he’s deeply engrossed in whatever national geographic program he enjoys watching. Haeryung isn’t as passionate as he is when it comes to knowing science outside of school. She’d rather just put it behind her and not think of all these concepts through her every day life if she can help it.

They are different in so many ways, and though these differences had made her laugh at the beginning of the relationship, she can’t help but feel her chest tighten when she thinks about it now.

She slides her arms around the back of his neck and feels him jump against her before relaxing upon recognition. One of his hands come up to caress her arm in an affectionate gesture, head turning slightly with a soft smile on his face.
“Hey,” he murmurs as she drops a kiss onto his cheek.

“Hey yourself,” She whispers back with a giggle, “How was your day?”

“Tiring, the usual.” He pulls back to get a better look at her face, “You’re home late today.”

“I went out with the the girls,” She replies lightly in hopes that he won’t notice the lie in her soft soprano. He doesn’t, and instead says, “What’d you eat?”

“Oh you know, the usual.” She shrugs, “all you can eat sushi. I’m stuffed.”

“I bet.” He chuckles deeply, the sound resonating through his chest. Her own chest twists painfully at the thought of having to lie to him, and she can’t seem to look at his face properly after having faced his friend and asked such drastic measures to be taken. If Namjoon knew about what she’d been planning behind his back, he’d throw a fit and would probably never talk to her again.

It started a few weeks before his birthday. The tiredness and the dazed look he had on his face whenever he came home had become more and more frequent. At first, Haeryung thought it had been due to all the patients he had to deal with, that it was probably the fatigue of seeing so many lives lost and so many lives left unsaved. But the more time passed, the more reticent he’d been to come home. He sometimes crashed at Hoseok’s place and kept doing that for a while, claiming that it was closer and that he needed to be in the lab early morning so he didn’t want to disturb her lest she needed her rest.

She tries not to assume too much for she isn’t one to believe Namjoon would go behind her back. On the other hand, Yehwa had always been some kind of a threat. Sure, they had come to an agreement about the said girl’s feelings for her boyfriend and there had been a slight comfort in knowing that there was only friendship. But the more Haeryung had thought about it, the odder their friendship seemed. There was a limit to doing things for your best friend right? And what about that time Namjoon had come home and told her he’d been at Yehwa’s place?

What about Yehwa’s concern about Namjoon’s birthday party?

Haeryung knows the feeling of being a second placer. That’s who she was brought up to be in a family of competition. Her brother had always been flawless and everything he did, and Haeryung had always admired yet hated him for that. She wished that she could be as gifted, as smooth sailing in life. They had a good relationship and were close despite the competition that her parents had always tried setting up against them.

Which is why she can’t bear the thought of having Namjoon place her on the backburner.

She can’t bear the thought of being the second choice, of being the one that’s not good enough.

“Hey, are you alright?” Namjoon asks her, pulling her out of her deep sea of thoughts. Snapping back to reality, she nods and untangles her arms from around his neck.
“I think I’ll get some sleep.” she announces in a soft murmur.

He nods in response and she bends down to press a soft kiss to his lips. He kisses back and yet, her heart clenches in a mixture of pain and confusion, for she can feel that he is not entirely devoted to it. His mind is somewhere else, always wandering, where is the question that has been bugging her for days.

Tears sting the back of her eyes, but she turns quickly to avoid him from seeing the internal mess she’s become. Just thinking about the notion of losing this man is enough to make her breaths go short and to clench with emotion.

She’s not about to give him up without a fight.

All my attempts of avoiding Namjoon’s presence the very next few weeks are thrown out of the window when I hear one of the staff call out to me during my shift, telling me that there’s someone waiting for me next to the counter.