This is maybe the weirdest one I have written yet because... well???? Idk???? What's happening? Literally nothing is happening? There's no plot?

There's basically just this tweet and it spiralled out of control. Anyway, enjoy? 😅

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Solar wasn’t even aware of her parted lips until she realized just how dry was exactly. Even then though, it wasn’t important. Even if it was probably a bad thing considering she’d have to sing later. But right now, that didn’t matter. Solar felt like a teenager again. Watching her idol perform on tv. Wanting to be like her. Wanting to have her charisma. That intimidating glare that could probably kill her should eye contact happen somehow.

Exactly the same.

And yet entirely different.

Because there was no tv now. There was only Boa, practicing on stage. Moving so effortlessly. Giving her all already even if there wasn’t a crowd yet. And yet at the same time, she made it look so easy.

Right in front of Solar’s eyes. It still felt like a dream. The fact that Solar was even allowed to stand upon that same stage? That she would perform right where Boa performed? It was surreal.

She was so distracted, she almost fell over when a shoulder bumped into her own.

“Still?”

“Oh, shut up, you.” Solar could only respond, cheeks getting red at Moonbyul’s knowing smirk.

“You know that you are at a point in your career where you can actually talk to her, right? Instead of just staring creepily.”

“I’m not a creep. I just… Well, she’s Boa. I can’t just…” She didn’t finish her sentence. Only shrugging as it died out. Because what would she even do? Talk to her? What would they talk about? They had nothing to talk about.

“Besides, I don’t want to,” she concluded eventually. More so trying to convince herself than Moonbyul. “I’m her fan. Don’t want to be her friend. Too intimidating.”

“Hwasa says she actually isn’t really though.”

Solar had to try her hardest not to let the pout threatening to take over out. Was she jealous? Just a little. Okay. More than a little. A lot. But it was for the better, really. And who Hwasa was friends with, was her business.

All Solar knew, was that she couldn’t even make eye contact with her idol. So it was simply easier and better to avoid her and admire her from afar.

-=-

Which didn’t mean it didn’t leave her feeling disappointed when Boa actually came their way, and only bothered to greet Hwasa. As if the other three of them didn’t exist. But Solar couldn’t even blame her. Because this was Boa. The ultimate queen. Everyone admired her. She was in another league. Why would she bother introducing herself to anybody? Besides, Solar wouldn’t have been able to say anything to her anyway. Because she became mute whenever Boa was near.  

Was this how her fans felt around her? It was maybe a little funny. How she had come full circle. You’d think she’d be less of a nervous wreck. Nothing was less true.

It was all momentarily forgotten when she was on stage though. As usual. The stage had become her playground. All of their playground. They matched well and it felt like just having a good time with her friends. She enjoyed singing. Dancing. Performing. And she was good at it. Even if she faltered slightly when she noticed Boa watching their practice performance in turn as well. Face expressionless. Because she was just that cool. Yet when their gazes met, for less than a second, it was all Solar could do to look away again quickly. Because it was too much. It had her heart pounding and her head distracted from her performance.

-=-

The performance had gone better than the practice. As usual. They got fueled by the cheers of the crowd. By the moobongs swaying along to the beat. The fanchants and the flustered faces of mostly girls in the crowd.

“Waaaah, Wheeinie, your vocals were crazy today!” Solar always made a point of it to compliment her members. She knew it was easy enough for people to think that after a while it wasn’t necessary anymore, but Solar begged to differ. A boost in confidence was never unnecessary. And as the leader of the group, Solar recognized it as her responsibility. To care for the members.

“Hwasa, are you okay, by the way?”

The girl looked up from her phone, “hmm?”

“Didn’t you hit yourself with your microphone?”

“Aish, why do you have to notice everything? How embarrassing.”

Solar pulled a face, “well, yes. Definitely. But also, are you okay?”

Hwasa’s smile grew, “yes, I am fine.” Her eyes flicked to somewhere behind Solar though, “oh, Boa! Hi!”

Solar immediately felt all her muscles tensing up. Barely looking over her shoulder far enough to catch a glimpse of the woman. A glimpse was all she needed though. She’d recognize her idol from her mere shadow. She robotically walked towards Moonbyul, further away from the woman in the doorway.

“Hi, I wanted to congratulate you on a great performance.”

“Aww, thanks. That’s so sweet of you. You were great too. As usual.”

“Thanks,” the woman responded, voice even and confident.

Gosh… Solar envied Hwasa. Just the way she could so casually talk to her. All the while Solar still had her back turned towards her because she couldn’t possibly look at her.

“We were going to grab a bite. You should join us.”

“Oh… Uhm… That’s fine…”

Of course, she wouldn’t join! What was Hwasa thinking! Boa was too good to have dinner with them.

“Oh, come on. Don’t be shy. You’re joining us. That’s the end of it.”

-=-

And so Solar had kept her gaze upon the grill the entire evening. While Hwasa and Moonbyul seemed comfortable enough. Wheein was about as silent as herself. Not surprising. Wheein usually was around new people. Solar for one, was glad about that. It made herself seem less awkward. To anybody who didn’t know her, of course. She usually wasn’t like this.

What a nightmare. She barely even heard what they were talking about. All she heard was her own blood rushing through her veins in her ears. Her heart beating aggressively and just not calming down. Because how was this happening? How was she sitting at the same table as Boa? Having grill with her?

Solar turned the meat again, taking a hold of the scissors to cut it up. Divide it. Before moving the pieces onto her members’ plates. As usual. And she had to force her mind to stop thinking and also do the same for Boa. Without looking at her of course. Because not doing that would be rude, right?

Gosh. She didn’t know what to do.

“Thanks,” still came the soft response. Like a caress of her ear in between the previously overwhelming sounds. And it was enough for Solar to finally look up and meet her gaze. Just long enough to see a shy smile. So unlike the Boa Solar had seen on stage all her life.

“Sure,” she somehow managed to respond. Like a normal human being. And it was a relief. Maybe she could do this.

The rest of the evening, she didn’t  say a lot more. But now, she noticed, Boa didn’t either. In fact, she just seemed to eat and listen. It was… cute? Not a word she would have associated with the fierce-looking woman who was still a little bit intimidating. She couldn’t lie.

-=-

After a while of promoting as a group again, solo schedules always felt a little weird. A little off. Solar knew she’d get used to it again quickly enough, but initially the loneliness would always hit her quite hard. She was a people person after all. Even if she was a little awkward, she liked human interaction. She liked making people laugh. Caring for people. Even now, she had caught herself looking for her members more than once already.

Today’s performance was late in the evening. The sun was setting and it was cold outside. She had tried staying inside of the make-up room for as long as possible, but somehow it made her feel even lonelier. So she had grabbed a hold of one of the long, fluffy coats, sauntering outside. Watching rookie groups smiling broadly as their performances were finished already. They would bow deeply wh