The Eden Project - Death Of A Dream

  I didn't think I would hang out with Jaebum as much as I do right now. At first it was just texting when I first got his number, and we would always just ask if we're going to meet at the coffee shop or take a break and study at the library. Then, it became random texting like, "How was your day?" or "I can't believe Professor XYZ made the exam so hard" or things like that. Now, his texts are scarce, but when we do talk, it lasts for nearly the whole day.

  As I'm walking to my apartment with Daehyun, Jaebum texts me.

  I laugh. He's currently in Statistics and I can't blame him for not understanding anything. If I was taking that class, I would probably be feeling the same way.

  Daehyun looks over my shoulder. "You seem to be texting Jaebum a lot lately. What are you even talking about?" He tries to read my text, but I stuff my phone in my pocket.

  "Nothing really." For some reason I didn't want Daehyun to see what we're talking about despite the fact that it's a normal conversation between two university students. Plus, what's he going to do? Take my phone away from me to prevent taking to people other than him? Well, I know he won't do it. Daehyun doesn't have that kind of personality, but I can tell that he can be a bit protective when he wants to be. It's clear whenever all three of us hang out and when Jaebum talks to me, Daehyun gets slightly closer the more we talk.

  "Nothing, huh? You two sure talk a lot, don't you?"

  "Not really." In fact, we mainly text each other and limit our conversations at the cafe since we're all too busy studying. I talk to Daehyun more than I do with Jaebum.

  "Sure." There's a hint of jealousy in his voice. "How come you don't text me all the time, then?"

  I squint my eyes. Is he really asking this question? Isn't it obvious. "I'm pretty much with you most of the day, so I don't see the point in texting you. Don't get me wrong. I'm starting to get used to your presence, but I also need my alone time."

  There's a moment of silence between us. Daehyun walks a little slower and I match his pace. Did I hurt his feelings? I clear my throat. Before I can say anything, he grins. "Now that I think about it, it's better to meet in person rather than text. I lived without a phone for a long time, and I can say that it's more intimate when you talk face-to-face."

  What he's saying is true, but the fact that he said "intimate" gives me the wrong image. I try not to let that get to me. "Yeah, you can say that." As we approach my apartment, I suddenly have the urge to eat ice cream under this scorching sun, and I know just the place. Should I invite Daehyun to come with me? I look over my shoulder and notice Daehyun checking his phone as if he's waiting for someone to message him. This will be the first time I invite him to anything and may be the last. Plus, he looks a little pathetic with that pout on his face. I let out a sigh. "Why don't we grab some ice cream. I'm craving for some."

  It's as if a light switch flips on. Daehyun's eyes sparkle and he stands straight. "That sounds good idea." He fixes his bag over his shoulder. Something glistens in my peripheral. It must be the same item I saw a while back. I just forgot about it and never got the chance to check.

  As we walk to my favorite ice cream shop, Daehyun asks, "What's your favorite flavor? I really like cheese cake."

  I laugh. Cheese cake, huh? Why am I not surprised? "I-"

  "Wait. Wait," he interrupts. "Let me guess first." Daehyun stares into my eyes and I can't help but blush and let my eyes trail to the side. He snaps his fingers. "Mint chocolate chip."

  My eyes widen. He was right. "How'd you know?"

  "Just a lucky guess. A lot of people like mint chocolate."

  "I don't know who you've met, but most people I know don't like it."

  "Strange," he says in a sing-song voice.

  We enter the ice cream shop. It's a quaint little shop with a pastel theme and the walls are painted with cute little animals. It's a place that attracts children, but students also go here when they want to get away from the adult world and remember what it's like being a kid. On one wall there's a quote that attracts anyone who posts on social media with a bunny jumping over the top. I always stare at the quote because it definitely matches anyone who likes sharing their photos for everyone to see. It reads: "A picture is worth a thousand calories." 

  We order our ice cream and sit by the window. As I look out, I see students and families walking by and glancing at the shop. Some even pause, contemplating whether or not they should spend money on the cold and sweet dessert. I didn't observe long as I remember that the ice cream will melt in my hands if I don't start eating it. From beyond my tower of mint chocolate chip ice cream, I notice Daehyun staring at me. "What?"

  "Nothing," he mutters and starts a cheese cake chunk from the top of his scoop.

  Strange. I chuckle to myself.

  This time it was Daehyun's turn to be confused. "Is there something on my face?" He wipes the corner of his lips, but there's nothing there.

  "No." I turn my ice cream cone. "I just never would expect myself to be eating ice cream with someone." I always go alone. Does that mean I'm comfortable enough with Daehyun to take him to places that I usually spend time on my own. What if he starts going here all the time now that I've shown him this place? Like I said before, I'm not one who likes random encounters.

  "So, does that make me special?"

  I roll my eyes and swipe my finger across the cone where my ice cream is dripping. I reach over and wipe my finger across his cheek. "Shut up." 

  His jaw drops which quickly turns into a grin. "What was that for? I'm just asking a simple question!"

  "Yeah, but it's a dumb question."

  "No, it's not. I just want to know what you think of me. That's all." Daehyun wets his finger and wipes away the sticky residue from his cheek.

  His eyes are all too familiar to me. This time when I look into his eyes, I want to melt into them and never forget the way he's looking at me now. What is this feeling? This is the only kind of feeling I get in my dreams when that stranger appears and holds me and whispers in my ear. Could he be someone I've met long ago? It wouldn't make sense though considering how many years have passed. I shake the thought off and eat my ice cream. As I do so, my eyes wander to his backpack on the floor next to his chair. This time I get a proper look at it and what I see makes my heart and breathing stop for a second. I almost drop my cone.

  There, I see a similar pendant as mine wrapping around the hanging strap. However, instead of it being gold, his was silver. I want to ask where he got his and see if it could possibly from the same store, but I keep my mouth clamped about it. I change the topic, "Are you ready for the semester to be over? We have one month left and it looks like I will be keeping that B in Bio."

  "Yeah. I can't believe we only have a month. Time surely flies, doesn't it?"

  "You can say that again. Next thing you know we'll be graduating."

  Daehyun's laugh is shakey and his eyes droop to the ground. "Don't say that. We still have three and a half more years left. A lot can happen during that time, but let's hope they'll be good memories." For some reason, his tone is different from usual. It's softer and quieter, and the way his eyes trail makes it seem like he's thinking about something.

  As we finish our ice cream, my mind wanders to the charm on his backpack. I don't see a lot of people wearing anything with a paper airplane charm. It's usually a type of flower or the infinity symbol, or the sun and moon, but not a paper airplane especially since the charm looks exactly like mine in a different color. I shouldn't think too much about it, yet it bothers me. There's just so many questions that are left unanswered all because of this charm and because of my dreams. I can't tell if it's something I should think about or something I should ignore. As I take my final bite, I decide to ignore it for now.

  Daehyun takes me home and says to me, "Try not to get too close to Jaebum. He can be troublesome especially when it comes to his family. They're strict about the people he meets."

  I didn't know how to respond, so I don't. All I can do is wave at Daehyun and say my goodbyes.

  The days isn't over, but I'm too full to eat and too tired to study. The house is quiet and my neighbors are probably out either for class or to study. I, on the other hand, am laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling. The white paint is all I can see as I let my mind blank. My eyes are heavy and I start to let myself go. It takes me only a few minutes to fall asleep.

  The crinkling of paper and laughter echoes in my ear. My voice is higher in this dream - almost as if I was a girl. This clearly isn't a memory of my past as I can't recall ever making paper airplanes, but as I fold the paper with my delicate and small hands, it all comes naturally. I look to my side and see someone else making the same thing. The guy next to me finishes first and holds it up towards the open window in front of us.

  "Done!" He exclaims proudly. The voice is familiar, but I can't place my finger on who it belongs to.

  I quickly finish mine and tuck long strands of hair behind my ear and away from my face.

  Again, I hear a different name from mine, "- are you done?"

  "Wait!" I whine and make the finishing touches. As I fold the wings I notice something written on the man's airplane. "What's that?" I ask as I point at the words.

  He places it down on the desk and flattens the plane for me to see. "I wrote down all my worries, and I hope that once I throw this airplane out the window, the things that haunt me will go away."

  I'm amazed by this, but as I read the words on his wings, I can't seem to understand them. It's as if it's in another language. "It looks like you wrote your letter in code or something. What did you write about?"

  He simply smiles. "That's a secret."

  As he repairs his plane, I grab the pencil and bite the bottom of the eraser. What should I write? If I'm throwing this airplane out in public, I surely don't want anyone to trace it back to me. I will definitely need to avoid writing down names. After much thinking, I press the lead down against the wings and make out a few words.

  "No matter what life I live in, I hope I will always find and fall in love with the same person."