Jennie doesn’t know how to feel.

An uncomfortable feeling settled in her chest ever since that particular day. The day she arrived at their dorm building, just a little earlier than she was supposed to, and froze in her spot at the sight before her.

Lisa and Jisoo.

Kissing.

Lisa kissing Jisoo.

She clearly remembers it: the way her heart stopped beating, if only for a second, as her eyes filled with tears and her mind flooded with several dozen emotions that she couldn’t distinguish from one another.

It was long coming, she knew.

All along she knew it was bound to happen at some point, but refused to even think about it until life practically slapped her in the face with the fact.

Jennie noticed, every day, how Lisa’s eyes drifted away from her, towards Jisoo, and lingered far longer than they used to.

She told herself it didn’t bother her.

She told herself she would move on, eventually.

She lied to herself, over and over.

It hits her again, a couple of days later, when she steps out of her room for a bottle of water and freezes at the threshold as she comes face to face with a scene that ingrains itself in her mind's eye.

From this distance she still manages to hear their quiet exchange, her heart taking a stab with every word -- every glance and every touch inducing a wound of their own.

The sinking feeling only increases as she notices that Lisa starts to lean in and Jennie can’t take it, she can’t let herself witness this again. She hurriedly reaches for the handle of her bedroom door and slams it shut as loud as she possibly can.

The moment is broken and the sinking feeling starts to recede. However, she can’t help but feel like she has already lost a battle -- one that she didn’t realize she should have been fighting in the first place.

She shakes it off and silently goes about her business without so much as a second glance in the direction of the other two.

Jennie tries to push away the awful image in her head and everything else that accompanies it, but the thoughts keep coming back no matter what.

Part of her wants to approach Lisa and confront her, but she doesn’t know where to start or what she would say. She doesn’t even know if she should confront Lisa about it at all -- what she saw, the feelings it stirred within her -- it’s all so confusing.

The long awaited, yet dreaded, moment arrives not long after, though.

It’s almost like fate has it out for Jennie, or at least she thinks so, considering the way she always seems to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

By this point Jennie should have expected it, really.

It’s one of the rare days wherein she is actually completely free to spend it as she wishes while the other members are out and about attending their own separate schedules.

At least that’s what she thinks right up until the moment that she wanders into Lisa’s room with a change of clothes in hand to use the girl’s joint master bathroom.

But, Lisa is right there, calmly laying on her own bed, scrolling through her phone like she doesn’t have a routine to practice or something else to do outside of the dorm.

Jennie stops in her tracks, “You’re here,” she dumbly points out and mentally cringes.

Lisa, upon noticing her presence, puts her phone down and gives Jennie a small smile, “It’s kind of my room, so, yes.”

“I thought... you had to practice,” Jennie trails off.

Lisa sits up indian style and gives the older girl her full attention, “No, I already learned the whole choreography, plus, the new trainees needed an extra practice room for today.”

“I see,” Jennie subconsciously tightens the hold on her clothes, her thoughts elsewhere.

Lisa takes one look at the change of clothes the older girl is holding and realizes the latter’s reasoning for being in her room.

“You can bathe,” the redhead shyly motions to the bathroom door with her chin, “if you want,” she mumbles as she feels a familiar warmth creep up her cheeks.

Jennie silently nods and makes to proceed on her way, then stops altogether and turns to face the younger girl again.

“You and Jisoo,” she carefully watches for Lisa’s reaction, “how is that going?”

Lisa frowns for a moment, completely caught off guard, “We’re...okay.”

Okay, the word repeats inside of Jennie’s head and she has to hold back a scoff.

She tries to filter herself, she does, but the cutting words are out of before she can even blink, “You treat her like you’re already in love with her.”

Lisa responds without so much as a millisecond of hesitation, her frown deepening, “I do love her.”

It strikes Jennie then, another puncture straight to her already bleeding heart.

Why does it hurt so?

“Am I no longer good enough for you? Was it really that quick and easy for you to move on from me?” The words spill from with so much bitterness that Jennie half wishes she could take them back but hastily discards the thought in the heat of the moment.

Lisa shakes her head in disbelief at the words she is hearing from the smaller girl, “It’s-… I haven’t.”

Jennie releases a scoff, a maelstrom of emotions mixing together in the worst possible way, “Don’t lie to me.”

Lisa stands up in one quick movement, body tense with apprehension, her face the very reflection of distress, “Do you think I wanted this to happen?”

She takes one step closer to the brunette.

“Do you think I wanted her to fall in love with me?”

Another step.

“Do you think I ever wanted to fall in love with you?”

Lisa takes one last step before stopping right in front of the older girl, her voice strained, “I didn’t choose this, Jennie.”

Jennie’s eyes widen at Lisa’s sudden outburst and she takes a step back in surprise, “Lis-,”

Lisa shakes her head and interrupts Jennie, “Don’t you realize?”

Her voice cracks and Jennie suddenly