She’s trying to act normal.

She’s trying her absolute hardest.

But, something seems to happen every time she turns and catches a glimpse of a certain brunette casually talking or walking.

Jennie could just be there, breathing, and Lisa’s thoughts instantly betray her.

The only problem is this: Jennie Kim doesn’t simply breathe. She up all the air in the room and leaves Lisa lightheaded. Her thoughts running wild with scenarios that will never even have a chance of happening. Her own imagination the ultimate perpetrator, right along with said brunette. The mere sight of the shorter girl in her peripheral vision has Lisa reeling with images of the latter’s curvaceous figure and a craving, so strong and unrelenting, that she cannot satisfy. Her body heats up with the thoughts that consume her from within and Lisa has no choice but to avoid Jennie at all costs, lest she loses control of herself and falls for temptation.

“Hey,” a familiar voice snaps her out of her thoughts and Lisa nearly jolts away when she realizes just how close the girl sits and exactly who it is.

“J- Jennie,” she clears and rights herself in the seat, scooting a couple of inches away from the older girl and focusing her attention straight ahead, “-unnie, w-what is it?”

Jennie her head and gives the younger girl a weird look. Something about the way Lisa acts towards her shifted, ever since Lisa walked in on her standing in the bathroom completely after taking a shower.

Jennie tried to casually play it off as if it was nothing, as if it didn’t even faze her, and she did it successfully. However, Lisa…

Lisa can now barely look in her general direction without blushing and immediately looking away, distracting herself with random objects in the room, even with the wall if at all possible.

Three weeks.

Three merciless weeks and Lisa is still afraid to even spare her a glance.

Jennie didn’t think much of it, at first. Until she realized just how much of an absence it caused, how weird and out of place she felt without the younger girl’s attention. Sure, they had their problems and may not have been the closest ever since the confessions and the whole deal started, but now it was different.

Lisa would still look at her before or at least be on the lookout for her.

But now…

Jennie can almost physically feel the absence of the red-head’s heated gaze on her. She finds that a part of her quite misses the way Lisa’s eyes often sought her out no matter the time or place.

Jennie has tried, time and again, to brush it off.

It doesn’t affect me.

Jennie shifts, leaning back on the couch and stretching out her legs to rest her feet on the edge of the coffee table. She casually grabs the remote just at her side and starts flicking through the channels. She pretends to give the useless action her full attention even though all she can focus on is the girl in her peripheral vision and how extremely still Lisa is sitting – taut as a coiled spring.

“I just wanted to remind you that we still have those photoshoots coming up,” Jennie pauses to eye the younger girl and catches her small nod in return.

It doesn’t affect me.

“It’s in a couple of days.”

Lisa nods again.

It doesn’t affect me.

Jennie looks around the room, unsure of how to continue the conversation if all the younger girl does is nod without a word or a look in her direction. Her eyes fall on the TV again where she sees people dancing and an idea pops into her head.

“…Did you already practice enough for the show tomorrow?”

Of course, she already knows what Lisa’s answer is going to be, the younger girl barely even needs to practice more than a few hours to get a routine down pat and add her own twist to it; mastering every single movement and executing it with cutthroat precision – full of power and charisma.

Lisa takes a breath, then, without even turning her head, “Yes.”

Jennie releases an inward sigh.

It doesn’t affect me, the mantra in her head repeats.

“I don’t have any other schedules tomorrow, so I can finally go and personally cheer you on,” a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips at the thought of seeing the girl in her element after what seems like ages of not attending her practices session or only watching her dance on TV. Seeing Lisa dance in person is different from seeing her through a screen, she draws a person in so completely with her live performances, it’s incomparable. A small voice in the back of her mind makes note to take some time out of her schedule to watch the younger girl practice every so often.

There is a long pause, one which Lisa takes to seemingly catch her breath before releasing a soft, “Okay.”

Just okay.

The mantra in Jennie’s head picks back up:

It doesn’t affect me.

Lisa doesn’t bother to look at her.

It doesn’t affect me.

Nor smile.

It doesn’t affect me.

Jennie finds that she misses it: her gaze, her smile, her laugh, her everything.

It doesn’t-

It does.

Something snaps within and Jennie finds herself moving closer. She grabs Lisa’s chin and turns the younger girl to face her in one swift movement, irked at the disregard.

“Would it kill you to look at me?”

Lisa is taken aback by her actions and her sudden proximity; her eyes meet Jennie’s for one split second before quickly averting them elsewhere.

“I-,”

Jennie her head to the side, trying to catch Lisa’s wandering gaze, “Or do I have to strip for you to spare me a second glance?”

Lisa chokes on air, her eyes widen in astonishment and she immediately looks back up to meet the latter’s burning gaze, “Wh- no, that’s not-,”

“Not what?” Jennie insists.

“T-that’s not it,” Lisa’s panicked eyes try to focus on Jennie’s own, “I swear.”

“Isn’t it, though?” The older girl frowns, “You have barely looked at me, much less talked to me ever since,” she trails off.

Lisa frowns, she didn’t expect the older girl to react this way, she thought keeping her distance would be best after that; not only to control herself but as to not make the older girl more uncomfortable.

Jennie searches her eyes for a moment, “…You really thought I wouldn’t notice?”

Lisa silently shakes her head and Jennie’s expression softens.

“…Or did you think I wouldn’t care?”

Lisa looks down, trying to keep herself together as to not break down in front of the older girl. She can’t handle the way Jennie is looking at her, like some part of her actually loves her. It’s too much for her heart to take, especially with her own feelings so close to bursting forth.

Jennie gently lifts her chin to meet her eyes again, a sad smile on her lips.

“I want my best friend back,” Jennie mutters while softly caressing the taller girl’s cheek.

“…I want you back,” the older girl finishes and Lisa’s breath catches in .

You never lost me, Lisa wants to say.

You pushed me away, but I’ve always been here.

She slowly nods as one loner tear rolls down her face. Jennie’s sad smile soon turns to a happier more genuine one as Lisa tries to blink away the rest of the tears that cloud her vision.

“You have me,” the younger girl finally manages to say through the tightness in .

You’ve had me from the very start, Lisa finishes off in her head.

Jennie’s smile widens and she pulls the talle