Once, I was happy.
Second, my heart got broken.
Third, I was dead.

BANG. 3 times. On the door.
I hear it. But I'm so numb. I can't do this anymore.

Dear you,
Before I met you, I was a happy being. I was the joy of the room. Always feeling bubbly. 
I would wake up and dress myself up. People would stare at me. Boys with intentions. Girls with envy.
In school, I would put on my best smile and help everyone.
But when I get out of that fake place, I would pretend I didn't know anyone. One time, I witness one of the student from my school getting beat up. But I didn't help. I stood still and watched. I liked it.
I wasn't exactly the nicest person. I know. In school I was the angel. But out of there, I was the devil. 
But, you loved me either way. Or so I thought.
The day when we met, I was sitting at a bench in the park far from school.
I was staring at the kids playing and running around. 
They were falling. One after the other.
One of them tumbled down the slide and cut their chin when they land.
I laughed. You caught me and you smiled.
I thought you were like me.

Then, I thought you love me despite my sadistic self.
But I was so wrong.
You took advantage of me. You made me fall for your 'nice' personality.
But after we started going out, your true colors slowly reveals itself.
You never helped me when I accidentally hurt myself. You looked happy whenever that happens.
You would intentionally use any opportunity to hurt me.
Back then I was dumb and I didn't know, if I had known, I could've stop this madness.
As time went out and we got comfortable with each other.
I shared with you my deep dark secret. My sadistic side. I told you everything. And you told me you were like me. 
But how wrong was I to believe you.
As you know more and more about me, things that nobody knows about me started to leak onto the school board, on social medias.
Sadistic B*tch. Psychopath. Kill yourself. You don't deserve to live. You're sick.
Nobody else knew the ed up things I enjoyed.
Only you. Only you did.
I wasn't going to be stupid and be in denial. I was going to confront you.
And talking to you gave me the worst feeling I had ever felt.
You weren't like me at all. You were just playing with my feelings the whole time. Because.. I watched your brother got beat up to death.

You were there. I remember you from the corner of my eyes watching.
You didn't helped. And it was your own brother.
Was I the bad one? Or were you the bad older brother?
We were both ed up.

You are worst than I'll ever be.

As my life seeps out of my body, I let the piece of paper slip through my hand.

Written by: Somi

AFF: @nanamikyung