Double Update!

Mark is honestly surprised when Taeyong barrels in front of him, panting heavily as he stares down at the instructor. He remembers the cold seeping through his chest at his Hyung’s absence earlier, and it makes it hard to see why he’s here now, trying to… trying to protect Mark, shield him from the world.

But when he sees Taeyong flinch back—his strong, unbreakable Hyung—something in him snaps, and Mark grabs at the older rapper’s wrist, finding comfort in its warmth and, more importantly, giving it back. Taeyong visibly relaxes at that, and Mark can’t help the tiny sliver of pride that slides through his heart at the thought that he’s actually being helpful, that Mark can do something too.

He hardly realizes he’s speaking, the cold ‘You heard Hyung’ coming out far more sharply than he’d ever have thought possible, but he doesn’t regret it, even at Taeyong’s obvious surprise. He meets Instructor Kim’s dark eyes from behind Taeyong, and they make him want to tense up.

They make him remember the hate; the raw, unfiltered cruelty of bruising fingers on his, the phantom ringing in his ears of notgoodenough, the biting stings of pain in his knees. And it makes Mark want to curl up, hide himself away so he doesn’t ever need to remember again, but he doesn’t give into that temptation. Donghyuck’s firm voice sounds in his head again.

He shouldn’t have hurt you. He’s trash.

“Why’re you here?” Taeyong speaks sternly, knocking Mark out of his thoughts when his fingers tangle with his, warm and stable, “You’ve done enough, don’t you think?”

Instructor Kim settles his hands cockily on his hips, “Done enough? I think I haven’t done anything at all.”

“Don’t me right now.” Mark feels like he probably should feel surprised by the sudden harshness in Taeyong’s voice, but honestly… he isn’t. After all, there’s only so much anyone can take before…

Mark clenches his fists, hating that he’s leaving everything up to the older boy.

“What you did wasn’t okay.” Mark forces the words from his lips, hardly able to recognize his own voice as Taeyong turns around, surprise written so clearly, expressively onto his features that Mark can’t help but feel a little insulted. He chooses to push that aside in favor of staring down the man who took so much from him.

“It was for your own good.” Instructor Kim steps forward, hand outstretched, and Mark can’t help but flinch, and Taeyong tenses, arm shooting out against Mark’s chest.

“Don’t touch him.” He hisses defensively, and Mark warms at the unexpected move, though a small part of him whispers that there’s something strange underlying those words, almost as though—

“Trying to protect him?” Kim steps forward, something strange in his eyes, “You’re so misguided it’s painful to watch, Taeyong.”

“Shut up.” Taeyong then does something unexpected—he actually shoves the man back, stepping away from Mark as he does, until they’re eye to eye, “The only person who’s misguided here is you, you sick f—”

“You might want to think twice before finishing that sentence.” The man says darkly, leaning closer to Taeyong—scarily close—before his hand runs through his Hyung’s dark hair and Mark can only watch on in horror as something in the older rapper’s expression shutters, eyes glazing over.

“Don’t touch me.” His voice is small, and Mark can’t take it, stepping forward to do something, not just let his Hyung take the hurt and the blame and—

“You heard him.”

Mark nearly sobs in relief at the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, hard and cold and unfamiliar as it is. The blonde is staring at the pair with steely eyes, arms crossed.

“Jung Jaehyun.” Kim sounds pleasantly surprised, but makes no move to let go, get his hands off Taeyong hyung, “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Stop touching him.” Jaehyun snaps out, short and so unlike himself that Mark can’t help the tiny curl of fear at the sound of his tone, “Take your hands off.”

“Whoa.” Instructor Kim raises his hands, eyebrows lofted in carefully crafted surprise, “Why the hostility, I wonder?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Jaehyun shakes his head, stepping forward to place a hand on Taeyong’s shoulder, making the rapper look at him with tired, weary eyes. They exchange a quick glance, before Taeyong sighs and nods.

“Why are you here?” Mark decides to press, eyes narrowed involuntarily at the man’s amused curl of the lips.

“You should know, Mark.” He taunts, and Mark has to bite his lip to hold back a frustrated scream, “You’re the leader, aren’t you?”

“He asked you a question, and that’s not an answer.” Mark freezes up at the sound of Donghyuck’s voice, seeing the brunette approach from behind the man’s broad back. His hair is tousled, cheeks the tiniest bit flushed, but his features are the coldest Mark’s ever seen them. He looks beautiful.

“Donghyuck.” Instructor Kim shakes his head, lips twitching into a parody of a smile, “The entire party, huh?”

“The answer.” Mark stresses, hyper-aware of Jaehyun and Taeyong’s eyes on him—but he’s grateful they don’t try to step in. This is his fight.

“You’ve got dance practice today.” The man grudgingly admits, eyes narrowed in dark anger that’s so familiar, “Your other instructors may be letting you slack off, but I have no intention to do so.”

…slack off.

Mark’s chest compresses with an unfamiliar pressure, blood frothing and hissing, and his mind grows startlingly blank as his feet carry him forward of their own volition. His lips quirk into a strange shape—he isn’t sure what—ears buzzing crazily.

“I never slacked off.” His voice sounds foreign to his ears, “I never did. In fact, I did everything you asked me to do! I went… I went beyond what I needed to, for you. I… I believed in you, and that was probably the biggest mistake I ever made!”

“No, you didn’t.” The Instructor has the gall to deny, and Mark wants to… Mark wants to do something but he can’t the frustration’s just building up, “You did the bare minimum. And you complained the entire way, and why? Because you were ungrateful! No one waits for you, not ever, and all of you need to get that through your heads.”

“Get out of here.” Jaehyun shakes his head, “This isn’t going anywhere, and you know it. Don’t expect them for practice.”

“We’ll see about that.” Instructor Kim hisses, before his eyes slide to Taeyong, who’s uncomfortably nestled into Jaehyun, “Until next time, gorgeous.”

It’s odd, really, Mark realizes dimly, that Jaehyun’s managed to remain calm for this entire conversation, but goes unhinged at just that one word. That one, very frankly, worrisome word.

“You er.” He spits out, and Mark sees Donghyuck gape as their calm, sweet hyung launches himself at the instructor, knocking his head back with a firm fist.

“Jaehyun!” Taeyong’s already crying out, arms drawing around his waist to hold him back, “Jaehyun, think!”

“You don’t look at him, much less speak to him.” Jaehyun tells the man, who’s nursing his (hopefully aching, Mark thinks with vindication) jaw, eyes glaring daggers, “Now get out of here before I actually want to rearrange your face.”

A dark storm-cloud of anger passes over Kim’s features, but Mark doesn’t feel the same urge to flinch back, this time. Not when Donghyuck’s at his side, fingers pressed comfortingly into his wrist, warmth seeping through the shared contact. Not when Taeyong and Jaehyun watch the man leave with stormy eyes—though Mark sees Taeyong holding Jaehyun’s hand in a death grip. Apparently, he’s not as unaffected as Mark thought.

“What do we do now?” Donghyuck addresses the elephant in the room, and Mark gives in to his internal struggle, burying his face into the brunette’s shoulder, even though his neck hurts a bit. Donghyuck’s breath hitches, but he doesn’t say anything, for which Mark is grateful.

“You guys…” It’s not Jaehyun who speaks, but Taeyong. Mark’s surprised by how happy that minor detail makes him, “You guys get inside your dorms. The other guys are already meeting with management.”

“Charge your phone.” Taeyong adds quickly as an afterthought, and Mark can’t be imagining that Jaehyun’s staring at him proudly, with stars in his eyes, “Don’t forget it exists, in case we want to call. I hate to admit it, but we have been neglecting our schedules.”

“Hyung!” Donghyuck protests.

“I’m not saying you have to go to all of them!” Taeyong quickly placates, “We just need to at least notify the people in charge that we’re not going to be there. It’s basic courtesy, Donghyuck, really.”

He’s nagging. Taeyong’s nagging.

A brilliant smile spreads across Mark’s lips and he can’t stop because Taeyong is finally acting like himself. Like the leader Mark remembers him to be. Maybe everything can go back to normal.

“Are you… okay? Mark?” Jaehyun asks tentatively, stepping forward to rest a hand on Mark’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.”

Mark just shakes his head, moving towards Taeyong with purpose. The brunette in question stares at him with wide eyes, expression twitching like he’s holding himself back. Luckily for him, though, Mark is done with that, done repressing himself.

“Hyung.” He says instead, and wraps his arms around Taeyong’s frame, feeling the warmth seeping through their clothes.

“M-Minhyung?” Taeyong gasps his name quietly, though he returns the hug, pulling Mark closer, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m just.” Mark blinks rapidly as his mind slowly begins to wrap itself around the fact that it’s almost over and that he’s just stood up to Instructor Kim, “I’m just really happy.”

They probably might’ve continued to hug for longer—Mark really doesn’t mind— but Donghyuck’s voice quickly breaks them apart.

“Yuck,” He says obnoxiously, “That’s gross.”

Mark can’t help the little giggle that escapes his lips—free, after so long—and steps closer to Donghyuck in the heat of the moment, pulling in his closest friend for an embrace.

“You get one too, Hyuck.” He murmurs quietly, smiling into Donghyuck’s heated neck, before stepping back and looking away from his flushed friend out of respect. Jaehyun just shakes his head amusedly, while Taeyong’s smiling softly.

“We’ll get inside then, hyungs.” Mark says, chest light for the first time in ages, “See you soon?”

“You know it.” Jaehyun promises, while Taeyong just gives them both a quiet nod.

Mark rings the doorbell, waving at Jaehyun and Taeyong’s retreating backs, as Donghyuck complains noisily under his breath about the other Dreamies taking too long.

“Donghyuck.” Mark sighs, though the smile doesn’t leave his lips. It doesn’t bother him much though, because it feels like it’s been too long, “Don’t antagonize them behind their backs. Try to actually say something to their face, yeah?”

“God, I hate you.” Donghyuck mutters and shoves lightly at him, making Mark laugh, “Why is it always the ones closest to you who betray you first?”

“Oh, I’m one of the closest?” Mark grins at him, liking the reddish hue staining his cheeks, “I had no idea, Hyuckie!”

“Just shut up.” Donghyuck gripes, and is saved by the door opening, revealing a mussy-haired Jeno, who stares at them with surprised eyes.

“Mark hyung!” He breathes out, “We didn’t think you’d be back so soon—”

“Wow, thanks for remembering I exist.” Donghyuck butts in, looking entirely done, “Really, I appreciate that.”

Jeno just gives him one of his best smiles, immediately rendering Donghyuck’s sass useless. Mark holds back a chuckle, instead focusing on the main problem. He still hasn’t gotten to speak with the rest of Dream and, well, he has to, eventually.

“How’s everyone holding up?” He asks Jeno, as they step inside; then, looking closer at his pale, splotchy cheeks, adds, “How’re you doing?”

“Me?” Jeno blinks confusedly, before smiling disarmingly, “I’m fine, hyung, really! But, uh, I don’t know, I think everyone’s doing better than before?”

“You think?” Mark’s focus narrows immediately onto that little fragment, and he looks up sharply, “What do you mean?”

Jeno shifts uncomfortably, and it’s only now that Mark realizes the room is entirely silent, devoid of life. The exact opposite of everything they stand for.

His chest burns.

“No one’s really talking to each other.” Jeno admits quietly, looking downcast, “I-I mean, no one’s mad or anything, they’re just… keeping to themselves? No one comes out of their rooms anymore, I’m just—”

His shoulders slump, and Mark can’t help but instinctively exchange a concerned glance with Donghyuck. No one’s been coping well: not even Jeno.

“Let’s gather everyone.” Mark suggests quietly, after a beat, “You sit down for now, Jeno.”

“Are you sure?” Mark hates that Jeno’s eyes drop to his hip, “I-I don’t mind, hyung, really—”

“Sit down.” Mark shoves him lightly in the direction of the couches, giving him a half-smile, “We’ll gather them up. I’m fine, Jeno-yah, I promise.”

Donghyuck makes an immediate beeline for Jisung and Chenle’s room, while Mark heads to get Jaemin first. He pokes his head in, seeing the normally expressive brunette staring impassively into his tablet.

“Jaemin?” Mark speaks quietly, but still manages to spook the boy, who stares up at him with wide eyes, “Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah.” Jaemin clears his throat, setting his laptop away, “I didn’t know you were back, hyung.”

“I just got here.” Mark smiles tightly, the euphoria from earlier being replaced with something tighter, heavier, “I think all of us need to talk, though. Couches?”

Jaemin, for his part, doesn’t protest, but spares Mark’s hip a glance as he leaves. It makes Mark bite his lip, hating that they’re all acting like he’s made of glass now, like he’ll shatter from one wayward glance.

He clenches his fists, and heads to Renjun’s room. He knocks, hesitantly, before trying the doorknob, breathing growing heavier when he realizes it’s locked. He knocks again.

“Renjun?” He tries, rapping against the door, before trying again, “Renjun?”

It takes a couple of tries, but the door finally swings open; and, Mark should be feeling victorious, but all he can feel, at the moment, is pure, unfiltered horror. Renjun, to put it lightly, looks well on the road to death, eyes baggy, hair knotted and gaunt cheeks ashen. His eyes are swollen and red, too, like he’s been crying and, knowing Renjun… he probably has.

Mark feels a very familiar guilt stirring in his belly, but quashes it quickly. He can’t go back down that road. He can’t.

“Mark.” Renjun says strangely, before his face crumples and his knees practically give out; Mark just manages to grab a hold of him as he grips desperately into his shirt.

“I’m right here.” He says as soothingly as he can, wondering if he’s doing it right or if he’s just messing everything up, “It’s okay.”

His shirt starts to grow steadily damp, Mark realizes mutely, and it’s because of Renjun’s face pressed into his neck, salty tears making their mark. He doesn’t mind, though, knows the boy needs this, more than anything else—he’s been there too.

“I’m sorry.” Renjun shakes in his arms, “I couldn’t help you and… and e-even now, I’m useless—”

“No, you helped.” Mark says truthfully, “You were holding everyone together in the beginning, Renjunnie, but it’s okay now. Everything’s going to be alright.”

The faces staring at him, right now, are not what he’s used to. They’re not bubbly and cheerful, sweet and vibrant… no, they’re tired and shaken, broken and jaded. And Mark knows it’s both his fault, and not.

“We didn’t get to talk properly.” He starts off, looking at all of them, realizing it’s been a long time since they’ve done this. Donghyuck’s hand is on his arm, squeezing it, grounding, “And I realize that it’s mostly my fault. But, I… I want to thank you guys for putting up with this. For putting up with… with all of this.”

Emotion chokes his throat, but he pushes it down.

“You guys are the best, more than I could ever ask for.” He says truthfully, meeting Jeno’s gaze, lingering on Chenle’s unsmiling eyes, “You’ve all been so strong and supportive, even though I never realized it. And… and I realized that we could’ve avoided all of this, if I were smarter in the first place, but… I wasn’t. And I hope I’m getting there, sooner or later.”

Jisung shakes his head, lips pressed thin, “It’s not just your fault, Hyung.”

Jaemin raises a shoulder nonchalantly, though Mark can see the faint tremor of his jaw, “Maknae’s got a point. We should’ve realized, but we didn’t. I guess… I guess we made things worse.”

“I’m sorry, Hyung.” Chenle stares at the carpet, and Mark’s breath catches in his throat, “I didn’t know that would happen, I should’ve worked harder—”

“Hey.” Mark interrupts, wondering how he’s supposed to tackle this; hesitantly, he holds out his arms, “C’mere.”

Chenle looks up shakily, before biting his lip and giving in, practically straddling Mark’s lap as he delves into the hug. It’s been a long time since Mark’s hugged any of them, save for Donghyuck, and he realizes this only when he looks around.

“Group hug?” He adds hopefully, looking at Donghyuck—seeking approval—and getting a brilliant smile in response, and 5 more bodies piled onto him. He’s glad his hip doesn’t hurt as much anymore, else this wouldn’t have been possible and… well, they need this.

“Nothing’s ever your faults.” He assures them, arms stretched wide, beyond imagination, “I tried doing everything on my own and I guess… I guess that was my fault. But I’m not alone anymore, right?”

“Of course not.” Donghyuck snorts from somewhere in the pile, and Mark can’t be imagining the thickness of his voice, “We’re here for you.”

As the others chorus in agreement, Mark’s eyes begin to tear up. They’re not okay yet—not by a long shot—but maybe… just maybe, they will be.

“I love you guys.” Escapes his lips before he can stop it, but the groans he gets in response are worth it.

“And… he’s back.” Jisung says dryly, though Mark can practically hear the smile in his voice, while Chenle giggles quietly.

They can do this. Together.

I know it's been a while since I've updated, and I'm terribly sorry about that! On the bright side, this fic has definitely been finished, so we don't need to worry about whether I'll lose inspiration or not! It's been fully uploaded onto AO3, and it'll follow through on AFF as well. It's got a total of 18 chapters, so just 4 more to go!

Once again, I'm really sorry for leaving everyone hanging! Thank you for your support; I appreciate all of you guys very much <3