The rest of the day goes swimmingly well. Well aside from Kris using every opportunity to heads with me, which I could seriously do without. However, the boys know what they need to do and are already used to the process of filming and music video shooting, so they don’t really require my assistance for much. Most of the day I just spend learning everybody’s stage names and calling them from the break room when it’s their turn to film. After wrapping up, we proceed to head back to SME HQ and travel to level 35 where all the training studios and rehearsal rooms are located. I order their beloved fried chicken when they tell me they’re hungry, they practise til 2am true to schedule and then head up to Level 48 to shower and knock out for the day. Sleep for a good four hours or so and then repeat the process again. Same old loud laughter in the morning, same old Kyungsoo baking another snack for everybody (that I’m meant to chastise them for because it’s promotion time and they have to follow strict diets but they tasty af so I ain’t gonna snitch) and same old running around set like a headless chicken, attempting to place all the members where they need to be. Get to set, shoot for 12 hours, practise and eat more unhealthy fried chicken and almost fall asleep in the shower. Eat, sleep and repeat.

In fact, this routine has been going on for the last week. And ya girl has started to adapt to her surroundings. People around me are slowly starting to realise I’m more than just a tall piece of flesh and I can understand more Korean than “annyeonghaseyo”. I now even know which streets to avoid when there’s peak traffic and we’re running late to set. I heed Kris’ ‘advice’ and true to my obsessive nature, I not only read the file my father bestowed on me on the day of my arrival, I annotate the heck out of it and create individual member  spreadsheet. This past week I have documented every action, every hobby, every like and dislike, right down to their bathroom habits and even can recognise the tread of their footsteps. Some may say it’s creepy, I say it’s dedication- it’s a fine line really. For instance, I know Sehun is a living meme and needs to have one bubble tea a day to stay sane.  Xiumin is on the hustle for a rock hard body and constantly struggles between protein shakes and the 2am fried chicken. Chanyeol is actually the biggest kdrama fanboy that has existed and even with his hectic schedule, he somehow manages to stay up to date with the latest shows. Kyungsoo plays the ‘mum’ figure in the family, making sure everyone is eating well and also is in charge of discipline. He only needs to raise his arms and the boys (especially Baekyeol) will stop whatever mischief they in the middle of. Kai is a Michael Jackson apprentice, the boy seriously lives and breathes dance but when the music stops, his body goes to sleep mode and he can nap literally anywhere, even standing up. Chen the world’s softest human, he literally hands food and refreshments to staff and s every chance he gets. I have a feeling he has a thing for one of the make-up girls because he’s always wondering around her, at her beck and call if she ever needs another makeup brush or looks thirsty.  These past ten days have exponentially increased “EXO Database”, information that I will use to either assist them or blackmail them with- depending on my mood.

The only members I have not been able to observe as much are the Chinese Exo-M boys. They have slightly different schedules to the rest of the team and have to take Korean lessons so they disappear out of my sight several hours a day. At first I was glad because this meant I didn’t have to see Kris as often, but that also meant decreased contact hours for Lay, Luhan and Tao. I have a feeling Tao may harbour some resentment towards me because Kris “accidentally” blurted out that I spilled coffee on him and while the other boys laughed it off, Tao deadass looked like he was about to have me meet Jesus right there and then. I reckon out of all the boys, he’s the most attached to Kris so I need to be on my guard. But all in all, mission “Become a boss manager” was going pretty well. Was being the operative word.

After Day 11 of filming, the production team thought it would be nice to organise a celebratory dinner after all our hard work. Everybody, including me, welcomed the idea with open arms. I mean free food plus I get to finally visit a place that’s not SME HQ or the music video set. After 12 days in this country, I actually can sight see. When Suho announces its one hour before we need to leave for dinner, I wear my usual plain trackies and hoodie, look at my reflection in the mirror (which I bought as soon as possible to avoid the morning ‘roast ahri’ session) and nod in satisfaction. I jump back on my bed, reading the local sports news back home and catching up with all the group messages I have with the Porcupines. The girls constantly ask how I’m coping and send photos of them going for ice cream after training, numerous close-up derp shots of Coach and potential game play for the Finals. Even though they're so far away, I love my team mates for not abandoning me- they're honestly all angels. I look at their latest strategy and annotate the diagrams to amend it so that we play with a stronger defence in the first half when a knock sounds on my door. ‘Come in!’

Kyungsoo walks in with freshly baked brownies and just the smell of them makes me start believing in humanity again. ‘Oh my gosh, please tell me you’ll let me have one!’ Kyungsoo smirks and hands me a plate with two warm, decadent, goey brownies and I start to tear up because this is definitely the best moment during my stay here- hands down. I take my first bite and squeal with delight, ‘Kyungsoo, these are amazing! You have to teach me!’

He nods appreciatively, ‘Thank you and for sure~ Although, I can’t claim credit for this one, it’s actually Kris’ mother’s recipe.’ Dayum, Kris’ mum is so talented- these are the best brownies in the world. The lucky grew up with these?! We eat in silence, a mutual understanding between the two of us. Kyungsoo is a quiet soul because he communicates with actions instead of words. He looks over to see one of the diagrams on my phone and gives me a puzzled look. ‘It’s game play for an upcoming match my basketball team has.’

‘Oh, you play basketball? I didn’t know that,’ he enquires.

‘Yeah, I love it... I’m actually captain of my team.’ I reveal hesitantly. 

‘Woah!' He replies in awe. It's the first time I've seen him look so surprised. 'I guess it makes sense because you’re tall as well. By the way, do you know Kris plays basketball?’

‘Get out, no way. That giant knows how to dribble?’

‘Yeah haha, he’s actually really good. You two should have a match sometime.’ I smirk, an image of me absolutely thrashing Kris on the court playing on my mind. His face full of admiration and his ego crushed, as Ahri Choi beats him without him even scoring a single goal. I start manically giggling when Kyungsoo takes my finished brownie plate up and tells me I should start to get ready. I look down at myself to see if any brownie stains have appeared. All clear. I point down towards my clothes, ‘Ready.’ He stares at me with a blank expression, not at all amused and walks to my door, calling for Chen. “Hey Chen, can you ask Lola to meet us here instead of the restaurant. Tell her to bring some clothes and makeup please!’ I give Kyungsoo a strange look, ‘Dude, please don’t tell me you’re giving me a cliche makeover. It’s literally a dinner.’ Chen comes into my room, speaking to this mysterious Lola on his phone and asking her to come over. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, we are most definitely not about to give you the transformation of your dreams- that would be too predicatable,’ Kyungsoo winks and reassures me. Chen beams as he gets off the phone. I groan inwardly. 

Twenty minutes later, guess who’s getting a stupid cliche makeover. Yes, me.

Kyungsoo and Chen meanwhile change their attire, looking very smart casual-both wearing fitted shirts and a black and grey blazer jacket respectively. Kyungsoo’s hair is gelled up and Chen’s hair is combed to the side. Meanwhile, Lola (who also is the same girl that Chen hangs out with on set) is currently analysing my facial features, almost like an artist picturing their artwork on the canvas. She is so smol, her bob hair-cut is curled and she is dressed head to toe in vintage victorian era clothes but somehow manages to pull it off. Almost like a fairy princess. On the other hand, I look like an ogre next to hair with my dishevelled hair and face. She begins her magic, as her hands expertly move along my face, hiding all my pimples the Korean air has produced with a BB cushion, and giving me actual cheek bones by softly contouring my glob.  Her final touch is adding winged eyeliner and pink eye shadow and BAM- I almost cannot recognise the girl staring back at me in the mirror. By this point, most of the boys have assembled in my room; eager to see if Manager Choi can actually look like a girl. After Lola is done with the makeup, she turns me around to face the boys and they all whistle in admiration. ‘Lola, you’ve outdone yourself,’ Kyungsoo says warmly, where as Sehun stares at me and wipes his eyes a couple of times to look again. ‘I didn’t know Ahri could be so pretty!’ I can feel myself glowing red so I drag Lola away, who is explaining to Kyungsoo that she has just enhanced the "beauty" I already apparently had. She yelps but manages to take the hanger with the dress from the door knob. ‘We just need to put you in the dress and we’re done.’ I look at her with puppy eyes because I really don't want to change. I mean the make-up doesn't really suit my trackies but I could start a new fashion trend. Lola immediately shuts down that thought, 'Don't even think that I'm going to let you walk out of this dorm in those clothes. Here!' She pushes the dress in my direction. I look at it properly and realise it is about 20 centimetres shorter than anything I’ve ever worn in my life. ‘Nah uh, are you kidding? I’m like twice your height, that dress is not going to fit me.’ Lola tuts and spins me around into the bathroom, muttering in Korean about how whiny I am. ‘This is going to fit you like a glove Ahri, believe me. I’m giving you three minutes to put that dress on.’ With that, she storms out the bathroom and I see why Chen is so whipped for her because she is clearly the cutest alpha the world has ever seen. I sigh and look at the dress with contempt. I mean it’s a pretty dress and it is quite warm today, so its an understandable outfit choice. In fact, I’ve noticed it’s the norm for Korean girls to wear miniskirts, even though its freezing outside. I hear steady knocking on my door, and quickly start shuffling out of my old clothes and putting on the dress. After my little hokey pokey dance, I manage to put it on (the right way, I hope.) Lola was right, it hugs every curve I have and stops mid-thigh and holy, I have never felt this exposed before. Not only that, the dress is a deep mauve velvet fabric and has a plunging neckline, and along with my makeup, I don’t even recognise myself. The knocking becomes louder and I hurriedly gather my clothes and walk out. ‘I'm coming Sergant Lola,’ I begin to say until I bump into a large, solid frame. We kinda stumble out of the bathroom and the momemtum pushes us onto the wall of the corridor. ‘Hmmph,’ I hear a deep groan, as I feel a strong arm steady my body against his. I look up to see who my body is pressed against to. I'm met by a dumbfounded Kris. Figures, that stupid . 

He’s about to snap something at me but as soon as our eyes meet, he freezes. He doesn't let me go from his half embrace, instead he pulls me closer and his hooded gaze takes me in, inch by inch, and again I start to feel myself go red and unconsciously tug my dress down lower so I feel less vulnerable. Legit, I can feel the fabric of his dress pants because my bare legs are pressed up against his and I'm scared that he can hear/feel how fast my heart is beating. Holy, this is so uncomfortable. I attempt to distract myself from my pounding heart by focusing on his appearance and fk, I can’t believe such an annoying person can look so handsome. He’s wearing a minimalistic suit, a simple black tie but somehow, his effortless suave and sleek hair makes him a thousand times more attractive. Curse that boy, it’s so not fair. He finally releases me and I quickly distance myself from him. He stares at me for another minute before I get impatient. I mean I know I don’t look like this usually but the way he is looking at me makes me feel nervous.  ‘Hello, earth to Kris?!?!’ I say to break the silence. A faint red blush creeps on his cheeks as he clears his throat. ‘Um sorry, I thought Tao was in here.' His body moves yet his eyes still don’t leave me.

'Excuse me, do I look like a lethal black haired ninja?'  

'No, but your looks could kill,' he says, barely a whisper. He still is looking at me with a dark, almost hungry gaze. 

'Omg, could I be hearing things? Is the great Kris Wu complimenting me? What's the point in living anymore? I can die in peace now,' I reply back sarcistically, unsure of how else to respond. This seems to break him out of his weird trance and he scrunches his nose. 'I meant because you look awkward as heck and any onlooker would die of second hand embarassment.' 

'Well sorry for at this. I don't know how to do glamorous okay,' I sulk. He pauses for a moment, slightly taken aback by my response. 

'What do you mean Choi? Just remember who you are and be confident,' he softly replies. Why is he being so nice now? I look down, unable to meet his eyes because that comment actually made me feel a bit better. I'm about to thank him when he yelps,  ‘Sh*t!  I have to leave now. Can you tell Tao if he's around that I’ll see him at the restaurant?’ He starts walking to the kitchen to get his wallet from the bench and picks up a set of car keys. ‘What do you mean? We don’t have to leave until another fifteen minutes.’ I point at the clock to confirm which says 5.45.

‘Yeah sorry, I have to go pick up my girlfriend so I’ll meet you guys there. See ya in a bit,' he announces. With that, he finishes putting his dresser shoes on and rushes out of the dormitory. I shrug and start to walk back to my room, before I register what he says.

Hold on. Wait. Kris Wu. Girlfriend? That bipolar troll and a female specimen? Together? In a relationship? Warning, brain is malfunctioning. I repeat, brain is malfunctioning. 

WTF since when? During my 12 days here, no one has mentioned that he has a girlfriend and I can’t imagine someone even wanting to date that tool. Also, if he had a girlfriend, would he seriously hold and stare at me as if he could see through my soul like he did in the corridor? Suddenly, the image of him in a suit, pressing against me on the wall flashes across my mind. Fk, why am I still thinking about it. Okay, moving on- he’s stupidly attractive so a girlfriend could be a possibility. I wonder what kind of girl she is, I know she must be an angel- to have the patience to be able to deal with such an annoying human. But deep inside, I feel bitter towards her and I don't even know why. I’m about to get on my phone and type into Google ‘Kris Wu girlfriend’, before I hear a loud crash in my room and catch Chanyeol and Baekhyun sprinting out of my room, like no tomorrow, yelling sorry and locking themselves into their own room. I sigh heavily, guess I’m gonna see the girlfriend soon anyways, so what’s the rush?  I go to my room to assess the latest damage the boys have inflicted and find my brand new mirror shattered in pieces and my mini basketball among the glass shards. Seems like some idiots were playing catch. The rest of the boys momentarily freeze their cleaning and tell me that I look beautiful.  Suho profusely apologises and promises to buy me a new mirror, whilst Kyungsoo, Chen and Kai help broom the mess away. I glance at the clock again which now reads 5.50. And you better believe I spent the next ten minutes yelling at Baekyeol and making them hold their ears and squat up and down like primary schoolers so they could reflect on their stupidness (they were laughing around the whole time) when Suho tells us it’s time to leave.

It takes about half an hour to reach the restaurant but it is absolutely beautiful.  It's all outdoors, away from the busy central part of Seoul, and has a lovely garden decorated with a tonne of fairy lights and balloons. There's numerous tables with soft drinks, plenty soju, rice wine and plates upon plates of finger food, awaiting to be consumed. Lola and I fulfil our duty as freebie enthusiasts by eating all of the cheese and crackers. Pretty noble of us, I know. ‘So tell me the story of you and Chen?’ I try to lull out of her as the music plays in the background and the boys do their own thing, mingling with the production staff. ‘Hahah, what do you mean? He’s like my best friend,’ Lola replies, pouring some rice wine out for us. I look at Chen who is talking with Luhan but sneaking glances at Lola. Poor guy doesn’t know he’s been friendzoned. ‘How long have you known each other? You guys seem very close,’ I try to enquire further. ‘Well, our parents are friends so we’ve known each other since childhood. He’s a big star now but he’ll always be our little Chenny boy,’ she smiles gently as she looks at him and when their eyes meet, they scrunch their faces at each other. OMG, I so want them to get together. I drink the rice wine that Lola poured out and holy mother of the gods , it’s so delicious. ‘WHAT IS THIS?!' I squeal, getting all excited. 'Holy, this is so yummy Lola. Good choice!’ I exclaim at Lola, who is chuckling while refilling my glass.

‘It’s blueberry rice wine, seriously a gift from the heavens.’ I nod in agreement and swing down another glass before refilling our glasses myself. We start swaying to the music and laughing and for the first time in a while, I’m really enjoying myself . And then I hear it.

Familiar, loud, high-pitched laughter coming in from the entrance of the restaurant. My stomach drops and the hairs on my hairy arms stand up. I ignore it and try to listen to what Lola is telling me, reminding myself that I’m being paranoid. I ignore until the laughter sounds closer and closer when it reaches a stage when I not only hear the obnoxious laughter, but I see the source of the laughter in front of me.

I feel like I’m about to throw up.

At first I thought it may be because of the alcohol. That theory lasts a good two seconds because suddenly, right in front of me, I see a blonde witch linked arm in arm with another familiar blondey named Kris damn Wu. A blonde witch who is wearing a red and white polka-dot bikini underneath a gold, shimmer sheer dress and continues to laugh, while her eyes search the crowd like she is trying to locate someone. Until those eyes land upon mine and her laughter stops. A blonde witch who no matter how hard I try to leave in the past, comes to haunt my annoyed in the present-just when I think I have things under control. ‘Ooooh Kris!! Is that her? Can we go meet her?? I’m sure she’s dying to meet your girlfriend,’ she practically screams into his ear. His eyes follow the direction she’s looking and he finds me in the crowd. He gulps for a second and then turns to her. ‘Sure,’ I can see him mutter and they walk hand in hand towards me. Lola just stands next to me, grabbing an unopened bottle of rice wine but holding it like a bat, as if it was a weapon as the couple approach us. 'What is that idiot wearing?' she says in disgust. I look at her appreciatively and telepathically communicate that 'it’s okay- I can handle this' and she hesitantly nods and slowly puts the bottle back down on the table but within her reach. Suddenly, they’re right in front of me. Blonde witch looks at me, gifting the fakest smile possible on this planet. Kris clears his throat, ‘Hey guys, how are we?’ I nod curtly whereas Lola has her hands on her hips and glares at Kris. Our silence doesn't help to decrease the tension amoung us. ‘Um, yeah so… ' he starts awkwardly. 'Lola, you already know but Choi, meet my girlfriend. Her name is-’

‘Hana, Hana Lee.’ She interrupts him and extends her hand. ‘Pleasure to meet you Ahri.’ I can feel all the cheese and crackers coming up in my throat but I don’t want to make a scene. Every bloodcell swimming in my body is telling me to pounce on her, give her a part 2 of the Semi Finals. But then I remember where I am. Everyone, and I mean everyone here works for SME. If I even look at her the wrong way, Sir SM can revoke my offer and I can kiss the World Grand Finals goodbye. Her hand is outstretched and she lets out an impatient sigh. My hands are clammy with fury but I slowly raise them up to shake her hand. ‘Hi Hana. Please enjoy the party,' I reply robotically. I retract my hand back as soon as possible, making a mental note to santise the heck out of it later. 

‘Oh, don’t you worry, I will,' she sneers. 'I hope we get along in the future honey,’ she creepily smiles again and then drags Kris along with her. ‘See ya guys,’ he mutters, slightly confused. Before they walk too far way, she looks back at me and yells in front of everybody. ‘Oh and Manager Choi! Can I get a glass of champagne. And Kris will have the same. Thanks sweety!’ And with that, she hurries along to greet the rest of the Exo members, who greet her with bear hugs.

I plaster the fakest smile I can manage while my saliva glands get ready to launch a giant spitball into her precious champage. Extra bubbly, ya know.  Lola helps pour out Kris' drink and tells me to pour both the drinks on Hana's head. 'At least her bikini will come in use,' she justifies, giggling. As if right on cue, Hana turns around from the group of boys to check up on me, clicks her tounge in the crowd and yells my name out again. 'Coming! You stupid bish,' I yell back, grabbing the two glasses, uttering the last few words under my breath. 

Fk this manager thing. Seriously.

hey guys i've just noticed a lot of cuss words/insults are censored out so if you're confused with the dialogue just lemme know! imma think of some family friendly adjectives to use instead in the meantime hahah

as always thanks heaps for reading <3