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Mina POV.

 

Devastated.  The exact feeling I have right now. After Sana’s confession, I excused myself and straightly went to our shared room. My knees felt so weak that I thought in any moment I’ll faint. Those information were too much for my heart to handle.

 

I guess, everything related to Chayeoung will always be too much.

 

Few minutes later, Sana eonnie knocked saying she’ll spend the night with a friend.  It was a relief for me though because I can have our apartment all by myself. I don’t think I can stand being with her in a same room, at least for tonight.

 

 

I needed to vent out.  And when I say vent out, it means that I’ll probably cry and that’s the least thing I want Sana to see. It will be a really weird if she will see me in this state and I don’t think I can even explain myself if she started probing me.

 

 

 

The weather is cold so is my heart. I never felt winter this cold until now that even the heater in my room couldn’t give me the warmth that I want.

 

 

There’ll only be one thing or let me rephrase it; there’ll be only one person who could give me that. And that will always be Son Chaeyoung.

 

 

How I wish she could save me right now. Isn’t she supposed to be my hero? But how can she save me when she’s the reason why I’m trapped in this chaos?

 

 

My mind took me to a memory lane when I first saw her. That was the first time I questioned myself if love (although I considered it as just Crush at first sight way back then) could really be possible because it was exactly what I felt for her. From the moment I laid my eyes on her, I knew I wanted her in my life. As absurd as it can be, just seeing her everyday in the bus makes me extremely happy. All the undescribable feelings erupted like an active volcano explosion and it’s as if cupid’s been playing with me, Chaeyoung and I became friends in the most unexpected way.    

 

 

Everyday, I fall for her.

 

Deeply.

 

Strongly.

 

Intensely.

 

Completely.

 

 

That no matter what I do, my heart doesn’t know how to stop. It keeps falling and falling and falling harder.

 

 

Why does loving her hurt so much?

 

When I was with Bambam, I thought everything was always an easy way. You like me, I think I like you too, we’ll try to get to know each other and when we clicked , end of conversation. We were going smoothly, just like the way I saw mostly in the movies. Complications were supposedly start in the middle part when the couple see their differences and then they’ll figure it out if they are meant to be or not. With hi, everything seems so easy.  I thought relationships will always be like that. But with Chaeyoung, all the things I once believed in were put into trash. Complications arises ever since we met and it continuously popping out. It seems that it will not be stopping soon.

 

 

 I never thought that someone could bend me that easily and to woke up and realized that I am suddenly not straight anymore, it was definitely not easy.

 

 

 But what can I do?

 

 

My whole being aches for her.

 

 

Screaming for her.

And It breaks my heart to not be able to say how much I love her.

 

Presently, I have three problems that I need to solve.

 

First, Bambam oppa. Actually, during the month long vacation after the University Olympics and the stalker incident, I decided to talk to him. It was not easy for me because he’s been so good and so dedicated and I developed some liking for him too but I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. I knew I’m in love with someone else and it will make me more guilty if I let him continue. Of course, when I told him to stop courting me, I saw how heart broken he was. It broke my heart too. I don’t deserve him and he doesn’t deserve to be hurt but I must and that’s what I did and been trying to do. But…

 

He couldn’t accept my decision and he doesn’t want to stop. I was shocked when I saw him a while ago when Chaeyoung and I were about to go home. I didn’t have a choice but to introduce them both and he even treated us. I was a bit annoyed that’s why I couldn’t join Chaeyoung and bambam’s conversation. They didn’t know how awkward that was for me.

 

Second, Sana eonnie. Why am I so dense? Why didn’t I see the signs? In a serious note, I think I saw all the signs that she’s been crushing on Chaeyoung too but I just chose to ignore it. I really believed her when she said that she’s not interested into girls but I should have focus more on her actions than her words.

 

I remember the way she looked at Chaeyoung while she’s performing in the auditorium. The intensity in her eyes while she was watching her. The longing and the admiration, it was how I look at Chaeyoung too.

 

The pet name that she gave Chaeyoung, the times when she’s competing with me in cutting her food during lunch, the DARE she made which luckily I picked (kiss your favorite part of Chaeng’s face) and so much more that I don’t want to elaborate anymore.

 

 

My best friend. My eonnie. How can we love the same person?

 

 

And lastly, Chaeyoung. Even though I admitted to myself that I’m irrevocably in love with her, I really don’t know what to do next.

 

I thought of confessing but what if she doesn’t feel the same way?  I can’t lose her. I don’t want to lose her.

 

 

Damn! I didn’t even know if she’s straight or not.

 

 

For the few months that I came to know her, I haven’t seen someone pursuing her. Sana eonnie was right when she said that she had a lot of admirers (boys and girls) because I saw a lot of them too. But Chaeyoung never glanced or even paid attention to any of them. And the biggest revelation was that, Chaeyoung said that she’s in love!

 

 

I feel so hopeless and helpless.

 

 

Chaeyoungie.. what did you do to me?

 

 

I hugged myself under my comforter as I continuously cry. I don’t know when will my tears will finally stop to flow. The pain that I’m feeling is too much to carry.

 

End of POV.

 

 

 

 

Chaeyoung POV.

 

Something was off. As much as I don’t want to over think things, I can feel that there’s something wrong.

 

We’re silently, I mean Mina was silently eating her lunch while Sana eonnie was cutting my food. It’s a bit weird that Mina didn’t even take the initiative to get my plate and help me. Not that I’m expecting her to do that but I just got used to it. I’m also bothered by the dark circles under her eyes. I can’t see the glow that I usually see whenever our eyes will meet and what I’m mostly bothered was that she didn’t spare me a single look. Every time I’ll try to catch her eyes, she will automatically look down or look somewhere else.

 

 

Is she avoiding me? 

 

 

Hey Mina.. why are you so silent? Are you alright? .. Nayeon eonnie asked.

 

 

And what’s with the panda eyes? You seemed to be awake the whole night… Jeongyeon followed up.

 

 

I’m sorry guys, I’m just busy with so many things lately. I guess I’m just conserving my energy.  Don’t worry too much..  Mina answered.

 

 

I want to say something but Sana eonnie keep feeding me.

 

 

Sana eonnie I can eat by myself. You don’t need to feed me..aish… I protested.

 

 

But I want to.. you’re my baby cub after all.. come on.. say ahhhh…

 

 

I need to go first guys, I have a meeting with my group mates for a team project.. Mina started to stand and was ready to leave..

 

You haven’t eaten half of your food yet.. why don’t you finish your food first?  Nayeon concernedly suggested.

 

 

 

It’s okay eonnie, I’m not really hungry. I’ll see you around guys. Mina walk her way out .

 

 

 

Mina’s been like this for the whole week. She seemed so distant to us, especially to me. I’m just finding the right time so that I can talk to her and try my best to help her. It pains my heart seeing her so restless and tired and I know, our friends were all worried about her too.

(Lunch the next day..)

​​Mina.. I hope you’ll not get mad at me but can I ask you something?  Nayeon eonnie asked.

 

 

Mina lazily looked up and tried her best to smile, assuring Nayeon that she’s fine with it.

 

 

Yes eonnie, what do you want to ask..

 

 

How are you and that Bambam guy doing? I mean, I think I haven’t seen him lately fetching you… Nayeon eonnie continued.

 

 

 

Mina’s expression didn’t change but her large in take of breath before answering didn’t get unnoticed.

 

 

 

I actually told him to stop courting me. I believe it’s for the best…

 

 

 

I was shocked by the information. Is it the reason why she’s been so down lately? I saw Sana eonnie smirking. What’s with her expression?

 

 

 

Oooohhh… I see.. maybe that’s why you’re a bit … Jeongyeon was saying..

 

 

 

No it was not. I’m really alright guys.. There’s just too many things that I need to do and because of that I’m sorry if I’ll leave again this time. I hope you understand… Mina hurriedly fixed her things and walk out.

 

 

 

I told you.. you shouldn’t have ask her that question.. Jeongyeon’s blaming Nayeon now.

 

 

 

Yaaaaa! I politely asked her okay? I even get her permission first…

 

 

Jeongyeon and Nayeon eonnie keep bickering while I was busy looking at Mina who’s been walking her way out.

 

 

Why would she asked him to stop and then regret it after? I wish I could help her.  Even if it means that she’ll be with Bambam, as long as she’s happy, I’ll gladly do it.

 

 

I left the University around 8:30 in the evening as I finished all my sketches that I need to submit tomorrow. As I was walking my way, I saw Mina eonnie. I believe she’s on her way home too and she’s also going to the bus station where we usually go.

 

 

I decided not to join her because she seemed to be in deep thoughts and remembering how she was trying to ignore me for a week, I guess  I will just look at her from a far and observe her.

 

 

If I will to guess, I might think that she’s a bit drunk because she almost bumped herself with every person she can see.   It was cute though, how she keeps saying sorry. She’s such a cute penguin. I didn’t know she have this clumsy side of her.

 

 

Okay so as I continue to follow her, we’ll just need to pass the pedestrian lane so we could reach the bus stop and by that I’m planning to catch up with her so we can talk. I cant no longer control myself as I’m really itching to talk to her.

 

 

 

The traffic light was still in Green when I saw Mina stepping her right foot and it seems that she’s ready to walk. In my horror, I found an incoming BMW whose fast approaching.

 

 

I run so fast that I couldn’t feel my legs. My focus was on Mina and how closely she is in danger. Once I finally reached her, I grabbed her swiftly and hugged her so tight that I’m afraid I could have crashed her.

 

 

YAAAAAAAH! Are you out of your mind eonnie?  I didn’t mind the people around us as I was so furious.

 

 

Don’t you know how to read traffic lights? It’s still in GREEN.. aish…!

 

 

Mina was just standing there having her head looking into the ground.

 

 

Are you drunk? You’re crazy …. Aish…

 

 

When I didn’t received any response, I went my way to her, hold her shoulders and started shaking it…

 

 

Yaaaah eonnie, are you out of your mind????? I shouted at her.

 

 

I regretted that I shouted at her when I saw her crying face. She broke down right there with her knees on the ground.

 

 

How could I make her cry? Stupid Chaeyoung. I might have scared her.

 

 

Min…Mina..I’m so sorry… I started as I held her in my arms safetly.

 

 

I just got so scared. What if I didn’t come on time? (kiss Mina’s forehead)

 

What if I didn’t saw you? What if I failed to save you? (kiss Mina’s forehead)

 

I’m so scared Mina… I thought I’d lost you..  (kiss Mina’s eyes..)

 

I’m so sorry… don’t cry please… I don't want to see you  cry.. I look intently in her eyes..

 

 

Mina didn’t let go as she continue to hug me. I wiped her tears away to see her face, I’m so stupid to make her cry like this. I will never forgive myself.

 

 

Chaeyoungiee…

 

 

I’m hurt…

 

 

When I heard that she’s hurt, I started inspecting her legs, arms if there are any bruises but I did not see any.

 

 

Where are you hurt?  Tell me..  I concernedly look at her.

 

 

She then pointed her indexed finger to her heart.

 

 

Here… my heart… my heart hurts so much… Mina told me as she started to cry again.

 

 

 

Yes, I might have saved her in the physical aspects but I don’t know how to save her heart. If she would just let me do it but things are not that easy.

 

 

 

Mina.. let’s get you home… I embraced her once again and whisper it to her.

 

 

She then looks at me intently and with pleading eyes.

 

 

You can bring me anywhere as long as you’re there..  Will you stay with me? Mina said almost like a whisper.

 

 

I nodded and kissed her forehead before we go.

 

 

End of POV.

 

********************************************

 

Hello everyone! :-)

 

Chapter 10 is up!  And I guess my story will need to end soon.. few more chapter to go! :-)

 

 

​​​Im really enjoying your comments guys.. it seems that a lot of you were affected by the push and pull moments of Michaeng here in my story. Arent they like Michaeng in real life? kekekkeke..

 

I hope you can continue to post your comments because im reading it all.. Good or Bad... free to comment down below :-)

 

Thank you in advance..  :-)

 

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