Seulgi sat in the passenger seat of Bogum’s car, fists clenched as her brother navigated his way through the traffic, the sound of sirens filling her ears as splashes of reds, yellows, and blues struck her face, illuminating its haggard appearance. She grinded her teeth incessentally, pounding on the armrest whenever they were forced to stop at red lights, screaming and cursing when another car managed to get in between them and the ambulance.

Seulgi was still fuming over the fact that she wasn’t allowed in the back of the emergency vehicle with Joohyun. She had caused quite the scene, practically threatening to tackle both of the EMS personnel before Bogum had been able to hold her back. “Family only” is what they’d said. But she’d known, and loved, Joohyun for five years now. How didn’t that count? Did they even understand how she felt, seeing her fragile beloved being thrown onto a stretcher, hooked up to all those machines, the oxygen mask fitting snugly against her small mouth and nose, her eyes barely open as they carted her away?

    Seulgi furiously rubbed at her eyes in order to clear them of the moisture that obscured them; she needed to be strong now, for Joohyun. Letting her emotions get the best of her was the last thing she needed.

    “We’re almost there,” Bogum said, eyes never leaving the road as he reached over to pat Seulgi’s hand, “She’s gonna be okay, Seulgi. She’s gonna be okay.”

    The monolidded girl nodded, taking a deep breath through her nose in order to collect herself. She tried to empty her thoughts, focus on the matter at hand, but found that it was near impossible, as her mind kept returning the image of Joohyun lying on the tiled floor, her hair splayed out around her, vomit coating the front of her shirt, an ironically pleasant smile upon her pallored lips. And then there was the way she’d hung limp in Seulgi’s arms, her breaths coming so dangerously slow, her pulse so weak and thready, her only coherent words escaping from her like some sort of sigh of defeat:

    “S-Seulbear?”

    Seulgi’s heart plummeted into her stomach and she swallowed hard in order to prevent herself from breaking out into tears. Her wicked thoughts then shifted to the next logical conclusion, the insurmountable question that rang like a brass bell, resounding over and over and over and over: Why?

    Why had she done it? Why had Joohyun decided to take her own life? Strong, stroic, sweet Joohyun, who had never shown a moment of mental weakness in all the time that Seulgi had known her.

    Seulgi knew, but, in some of ironic mercy, some odd defensive mechanism that her brain decided to employ in order to keep her from losing her sanity completely, she was unable to accept it, or even acknowledge it. And that was most likely for the best.

Bogum trailed the ambulance closely as he could, his car zooming through traffic at dangerous speeds.

***

    For Yerim’s first night back in the Emergency Department, the place was uncharacteristically calm. There weren’t many actual emergencies that had arrived yet. Both of her patients (the first with a minor laceration from a knife, the second with an asthma attack) had been promptly treated and sent off either to other floors of the hospital, or back home. Sooyoung had been popping in and out of other rooms, though she was focused mainly on her documentation, as there wasn’t necessarily much that required her full attention.

    The slowness of the wing gave Yerim a sense of impending unease, as if something big was about to happen. Maybe a major bus accident. Maybe a construction-site amputation. Maybe gunshot wounds. She didn’t know what exactly, but something felt profoundly wrong.

    “Hey, Dr. Park,” Yerim said, striding over to the nurses’ station to join her secret lover, unconsciously placing a hand upon the older woman’s white-coated shoulder, a hand that would look innocent to everyone else, but spoke volumes to the couple, “I’m next on the admitting list. Can you give me a real quick rundown of what I’m getting?”

    “Hm, sure thing, Nurse Kim,” Sooyoung’s voice almost sounded sarcastic, as if she were trying her best not to laugh at the formality in both of their tones, “Although, you could just pull up a computer and check it for yourself.”

    “You’re much more efficient at navigating the systems than me,” Yerim said, pulling up one of the rolling chairs and taking a seat beside the doctor.

    Sooyoung rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation as she scrolled through the charts.

    “I don’t think I see any new patients for you… actually, hang on,” Sooyoung double clicked on something and a brief summary of a newly added patient popped up, “Female, twenty-eight years old, drug overdose, alcohol intoxication.”

    Yerim rolled her eyes.

    “On a Sunday night? People are unbelievable. At least it’s something I’m used to. Does it have any information on her status?”

    “Uh, let’s see… she’s on a vent, so we’ll need to intubate her. Should probably setup an NG tube as well. Depending on her condition I may want to do a gastric lavage. And-”

    “IV fluids, labs, Narcan IM stat?” Yerim finished, a mischievous grin covering her features as she did so.

    Sooyoung smiled back, and Yerim could tell that the older girl was resisting the urge to kiss her for her playfulness.

    “And epi, 0.4mg sub-q stat. But other than that, good job,” Sooyoung quipped.

    Yerim stood up and went about gathering her supplies. Although she still couldn’t shake the feeling that something big was coming tonight, she took comfort in knowing that Sooyoung would be by her side.

***

    “You’re gonna be okay…”

    “Please, please, stay with me…”

    “Joohyun…”

    A crying, sorrowful voice, a familiar voice, a voice that’s broken and cracking, muffled under the hazy, heavy pool of heat. Joohyun wants to comfort that voice, to respond to it, tell it that everything’s okay, but she finds that she can’t. Her lips, , , they all don’t want to work. But that’s okay.

And then, she’s floating. Gradually, gently, gliding, flowing. Like air, like water, snaking smoothly over the undulating ripples of reality. Bright lights flash, and muted voices call out. There’s little sensation. All movements are out of her control. But they’re pleasant. Even being lifted up, placed on that board-like bed… it was pleasant. It was comfortable. Somehow. Something’s over her face, and its far too tight, but she doesn’t care.

    Inhale.

    It produces a cold draft that fills her nostrils, drying them. But she still doesn’t care. More voices, a wash of fluorescent light. The bed starts to shake from side to side, but she’s held in place by something. Her barely open eyelids flutter. The darkness is inviting and complete, caressing her body with its soft palms, running up and down her flesh, soothing her...

    Exhale.

    High-pitched, familiar noises blare in the backdrop, but her eyes remain shut. She finds that she can’t open them. But that’s alright. Everything is alright. Joohyun wants to smile, but the muscles of her face aren’t working. That’s okay. Everything is alright.

***

    “Let me out here!” Seulgi yelled, tearing open the car door as Bogum pulled up in front of the hospital’s Emergency Room entrance.

    “I’ll meet you in there,” he called, turning to Seulgi, who was already halfway out of the car.

    Seulgi gave no response, all of her attention focused on the stretcher-bound woman who was being swiftly swept through the automatic sliding doors, guided by two of the medical staff. Seulgi rushed after them, through the patient-filled lobby, almost to the second set of doors that led to the ER wing itself; however, she was impeded from entering by a large, frowning security officer who popped out from behind his desk with uncanny speed.

    “Which patient are you here for?” he asked defiantly as Seulgi watched Joohyun being wheeled out of sight.

    “Which one do you think?” Seulgi bit back, a dangerous look coming upon her features, “Bae Joohyun, the one who was just admitted.”

    “And who are you to her?”

    “I’m her girlfriend.”

    “Her girlfriend…” the man grumbled, looking unsure.

Seulgi clicked her tongue in impatience.

“I don't have time for this. She’s dying and I need to go see her!” Seulgi yelled indignantly, causing many of the people waiting in the lobby behind to look over in surprise.

“You need to calm down, ma’am,” the officer warned, “I can’t let you in until it’s confirmed that the patient wants you in the room with her. I’m sorry.”

“Are you ing kidding me?! But she’s un-”

“Ma’am, if you don’t keep your voice down, I’ll have to you out.”

Seulgi took a step back, her eyes doing a quick sweep of the plethora of glares she was receiving from the few patrons behind her. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing the extra strands away from her face and forehead, inhaling deeply through her nose at the same time.

“Fine. I’m sorry,” she finally conceded, “Is there any paperwork I can fill out in the meantime?”

“There is, actually,” the man said, his voice kinder and more subdued now, yet still stern, “An admitting form and a visitor’s form.”

    Seulgi accepted the small stack of papers gracefully, retreating into one of the empty seats, kicking her feet up on the one across from her to save a spot for her brother. She scowled deeply as she began to fill out the lengthy forms.

***

    The EMS team hurried into the Emergency Department, bursting through the doors and making a beeline for the room that Yerim had just finished setting up. Sooyoung’s eyes flickered up from the computer screen she was observing, and she watched the two men carting the new admission down the hall. Her brow furrowed as she tried to get a better look at the woman, a frown starting to appear on her face as her normally quick brain took its sweet time in processing what it was seeing.

    But no. It couldn’t be. She must be seeing things.

    That blond hair, those soft, shut eyes. That slim frame. Those full, model-like cheeks. No, there was no mistaking it as the EMS personnel approached. Bae Joohyun.

    Sooyoung sprung into action immediately, the wheeled chair falling out from behind her as she hurried out of the nurses’ station. She moved like lightning, catching up to the EMS staff halfway to the room, shoving one of them out of the way and taking his place in pushing the stretcher. She assessed Joohyun within seconds: low respiratory rate, muscle twitching in the upper extremities, decreased level of consciousness. Her thoughts worked in rapid-fire mode, and she’d already thought of seven different interventions to perform.

    “Don’t worry, Joohyun, you’re in good hands,” she murmured, placing a hand on the side Joohyun’s neck, rubbing the cool, clammy skin for a moment before pressing the pads of her fingers into the older girl’s skin, palpating for a pulse. It was there, but it was slow and faint.

    They entered the room to find Yerim turned away from the door as she finished up hanging a bag of saline. Sooyoung’s gaze fell upon the two syringes that sat at the bedside.

    “Yerim!” Sooyoung called out to her girlfriend over Joohyun’s prone body, “The Narcan and epinephrine!”

    Yerim spun around, her already large eyes widening tenfold as she realized who their patient was. To her credit and expertise, she shrugged off her shock in half a moment, snatching up both syringes and sidestepping as the stretcher was pushed in front of her, but not before hitting the large, red “CODE” button that was located at the head of the bed.

    “Sooyoung. The epi.” Yerim said shortly, ing the syringe into the doctor’s hands as she began wiping down a section of Joohyun’s upper arm in order to administer her own injection.

    Sooyoung practically threw the remaining EMS worker out of the way, grabbing Joohyun’s opposite arm, tearing open an alcohol swab package with her teeth and vigorously rubbing the back of Joohyun’s arm before pinching it up and administering the epinephrine injection, mere seconds after Yerim had administered her own Narcan injection.

    “Administering 0.4mg epinephrine, subq!”

    “Administering 0.3mg Narcan, IM!”

    Their voices mixed together as they both called out their respective orders.

    The effect was near-instantaneous. Joohyun inhaled harshly, producing a crackling wheeze, followed immediately by spitting and choking. Yerim tore the oxygen mask from her face as Sooyoung turned the woman onto her side, allowing her to vomit up the contents of her stomach over the side of the stretcher and onto the floor. As soon as she’d finished vomiting, she reflexively curled up into a ball, clutching her stomach and whimpering like a puppy, her body trembling like a leaf as she began to sob.

    Simultaneously, three other healthcare staff ran into the room: one nursing technician, one nurse, and a respiratory therapist, the latter of whom was pushing a large metal cart that was standard for any time someone called a code.

    “Get those fluids running,” Sooyoung commanded, moving over to bedside table in order to procure an empty syringe, “I want an IV in the right arm if possible, I’m going to do a blood draw for labs in the left.”

    “A doctor doing lab draws?” Yerim said jocularly as she scanned Joohyun’s right arm for a viable vein, “Now I’ve seen it all.”

    Sooyoung laughed wryly in response, just as she began drawing the blood into a vial. Simultaneously, Yerim inserted a butterfly needle into the vein she’d chosen, causing the half-conscious girl to cry out and flinch slightly.

    “Shhhh…” Yerim whispered as she went about her work, “It’s okay, Joohyun, we’ve got you… just relax…”

    The brunette placed the IV securely, taping it up so that Joohyun’s involuntary movements wouldn’t threaten to pull it out. She then went to set the pump as Sooyoung dropped two vials of blood into a biohazard bag and placed a piece of gauze with tape over Joohyun’s injection site.

    The blonde was still in a guarding position, though she seemed to have lost consciousness again, as was expected from the alcohol’s effects. Her breathing had returned to a normal rate, although there were still short periods where her breaths would slow, only to pick up again a few moments later.

    “Alright,” Yerim said, adjusting the stretcher so that it was flush with the bed, “She’s pretty light, so I think the two of us can get her onto her bed. Unless you want me to get Nayeon to help instead.”

    Nayeon, the rabbit-like nurses’ assistant who had arrived seconds before, straightened up and began to approach the bed.

    “No, it’s fine, I can do it. You,” Sooyoung said, pointing out all the newcomers in the room, including the EMS worker, all of whom bristled at the doctor’s icy regard, “We’ve got it from here. Thank you for being so prompt.”

    The nervous staff all mumbled a series of unintelligible responses before departing, some of them half-sprinting out the door. In any other circumstance, Sooyoung would have found their reactions to be hilarious.

    Sooyoung then turned back to Joohyun, looking the nurse up and down as an overwhelming sense of worry came over her. Yerim had already applied a pulse oximeter to one of Joohyun’s fingers, and was positioning herself in preparation to transfer the small woman onto a bed.

    “Sorry,” Sooyoung said in an uncharacteristically weak voice as she moved to assist, “Seeing Joohyun like this… it’s jarring.”

“I know,” Yerim replied, “But we can worry about that later. Let’s focus on treating her right now.”

As the pair moved Joohyun onto her main bed, Sooyoung found that she was filled with an odd mixture of shame for herself and pride for her girlfriend. Yes, it was true that they had both assisting in reviving their near-dead coworker, but the amount of raw panic that was still coursing through Sooyoung’s veins was worrying. She’d seen things that were much worse than this; children with grave, irreparable injuries, car accidents in which the occupants had been reduced to barely-recognizable puddles of flesh and viscera, burns in which men were transformed into charred skeletons. And she hadn’t batted an eye. Compared to those, this was nothing. A drug overdose in which the victim was stabilized within three minutes? Child’s play. Just another weekend night. Happened at least once a week, if not twice.

So why was the doctor so close to tears? Why was her heart still racing from a jackhammer? Why was there a palpable sheen of sweat on her forehead and under her arms? Why were her breaths coming in harsh, quick pulls? Why was her head so light and airy?

After they finished placing Joohyun onto her bed, Yerim began to fix Joohyun up, inserting an oxygen cannula into her nostrils and using some wet tissue to clean away the vomit that crusted the corner of . Sooyoung stood, staring at Joohyun as Yerim went through a short assessment, before straightening up and asking the doctor something. Sooyoung didn’t respond the first time, as she was far too buried in her thoughts, causing the younger girl to repeat the question, just a bit louder this time.

“What’s the flow rate for the oxygen?”

    Sooyoung blinked and stared at Yerim as she was yanked from her trance.

    “Uh… what’s her pulse ox?”

    “85 and rising,” Yerim said, an expression of concern playing on her features.

    “Two to four liters should do. Keep the pulse ox above ninety-five. If necessary, give up to six liters, but only if it doesn’t rise fast enough.”

    “Alright,” Yerim replied, adjusting the oxygen settings, “Are you alright, Sooyoung? You seem a bit shaken up.”

    “I… I just need a minute to clear my head,” Sooyoung said, leaning up against the wall, “This just isn’t what I expected. Not from Joohyun. How could this happen?”

    Yerim walked over to the older girl, reaching over and intertwining their hands. The warmth of Yerim’s palm sent a tingling sensation of relaxation radiating throughout the doctor’s body, and Sooyoung released a long sigh of relief.

    “We saved her,” Yerim whispered, drawing nearer and using her other hand to rub up and down Sooyoung’s arm, “And we’re gonna find out what happened to her, I promise.”

    Sooyoung looked down, meeting Yerim’s chocolate-colored eyes. The sight of those curious, gentle orbs studying her left her entranced for a second, and she could feel herself beginning to calm down.

    That was, of course, until the door to Joohyun’s room opened, and the nursing technician from before, Nayeon, stepped in, holding a folded, clean hospital gown in her arms.

    “Hey, Yerim, I figure you’d need some help with-”

    Nayeon stopped abruptly, mouth half open as she took in the scene before her: though the close proximity of the nurse and doctor could be explained away, the way their hands were intertwined could not. Yerim jumped back a solid five feet, putting on a blank, straight-faced expression that attempted to indicate that nothing was wrong at all.

    “Yeah, I could use some help in getting Ms. Bae into a gown,” Yerim said, “Thank you.”

    Sooyoung cleared quietly before taking her leave, striding out of the room without another word.

***

    Seulgi sat, shaking her leg up and down on the tiled floor as she waited, staring forward at the large, white clock on the wall across from her. The hands moved like molasses, each mocking tick serving to further exacerbate her building anxiety. She breathed in and out in a careful and controlled manner in an attempt to keep herself calm, but it was damn-near futile: she was actively breaking down further and further by the second. For how long they’d been waiting for Joohyun, Seulgi wasn’t sure, but it felt like an eternity. And the longer she spent sitting in that seat, completely unaware of her love’s condition, the closer she got to breaking down completely.

    Beside her, Bogum fidgeted away, looking from the security officer to the doors and back at what appeared to be a rate of twenty times a minute. Although his presence was helping to keep Seulgi anchored in a rational state, he himself was visibly disturbed, and clearly very concerned over Joohyun’s condition.

    Seulgi wasn’t sure how long it took - it could have been anywhere between thirty minutes and two hours - but finally, mercifully, those double doors opened, and a short, brown-haired nurse with a cherub-like face poked her head out. She motioned for the security guard to come over, whispered something to him, and then promptly retreated back into the Emergency

Department’s depths. The security officer locked eyes with Seulgi, causing the monolidded girl’s heart to skip a beat and he ushered her over. She tore Bogum from his seat and dragged him forward toward the podium, eager and desperate for an update.

    “She’s conscious and in stable condition now,” the officer said, “She wants to see you… Kang Seulgi?”

    “Yeah, yeah, that’s me,” Seulgi said hastily, turning to leave, her hand still wrapped tightly around Bogum’s wrist, “Come on-”

    “Only one visitor at a time, sir,” the guard apologized as he regarded Bogum, “You’ll have to wait out here.”

    “No, he has to come, he was there too,” Seulgi protested, “I’m sure that Joohyun-”

    “No, no, it’s okay,” Bogum conceded with a half-smile, “I understand. I can see her later.”

    “Fine,” Seulgi said, before turning to look up at her brother, “Bogum, thank you for everything. Really. If it weren’t for you driving me to Joohyun’s, I wouldn’t have found her on time. I owe you a lot for that.”

    “Don’t sweat it, dork,” Bogum said with a laugh, giving Seulgi a quick, one-armed hug, “It’s my job. Don’t keep her waiting.”

    Seulgi grinned widely, pushing back the flood of warm emotions that threatened to overcome her. Then, she turned around and walked forward, her departure punctuated by the sound of doors shutting behind her.

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Thanks for reading<3