“Thanks, unnie. I’ll see you when I’m back at work. Sorry for calling so early,” Yerim whispered gratefully, hanging up her phone and placing it back on Sooyoung’s coffee table.

    The young nurse had carefully slipped her way out of Sooyoung’s hold in order to make the two calls to get them both off of work for the next couple of shifts. Yerim had told Joohyun that she was taking care of a sick friend, and of course the older girl had understood. Joohyun had sounded a bit flustered, but she seemed more than eager to take the extra work hours that Yerim was offering to her. Yerim’s previous call to Son Seungwan had gone equally as well. She’d told Seungwan that Sooyoung had come down with a bad case of the flu and needed to take some time off work. Seungwan had agreed almost as readily as Joohyun.

Yerim sighed and ran a hand through her hair. The sun would be rising soon, and she hadn’t gotten much sleep that night. Sooyoung’s withdrawals were only getting worse. The doctor could barely sleep for more than an hour at a time, and when she did, she would toss and turn incessentally, muttering nonsensical words in her sleep. When she was awake, she was either moody or crying. Yerim had dealt with problematic patients before, but that didn’t prevent Sooyoung from getting on her nerves. The brunette constantly had to remind herself that this was only temporary, and she couldn’t fault the older girl for acting this way.

    As Yerim tiptoed her way back into Sooyoung’s room, she found that the doctor was no longer asleep. She was sitting up against the bedhead, arms crossed over her bare s (Yerim had learned a few hours ago that the doctor preferred to sleep ), a deep frown fixed upon her haggard-looking face.

    “You left me again.” she stated pensively, her eyes boring into Yerim with an intensity that the younger girl was now accustomed to.

    Yerim walked over, stifling a yawn behind her hand as she did so.

    “I was getting us covers for work,” she replied, crawling up into the bed beside her annoyed lover, “I was only gone for a little bit.”

“I know, I heard you in the room over,” Sooyoung said angrily, scooting over to put as much room between her and Yerim as possible, “And thank ing God I did, because when I woke up without you I thought you’d abandoned me. You’re supposed to tell me when you leave like that.”

Yerim rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t wanna wake you up. You were sleeping somewhat peacefully for once.”

The downturned corners of Sooyoung’s mouth twitched slightly.

“That’s only because you were next to me, Yerim,” she said, her tone shifting rapidly from angry to sad, “When you’re not there, I get lonely and I start having those bad nightmares again.”

As usual, Yerim felt a strong tug on her heartstrings. Sooyoung really relied on her nowadays. Yerim felt bad for how fed-up she was getting at the ill doctor.

“You had another nightmare?” Yerim asked, moving over to close the space between the two of them, pulling Sooyoung into an embrace.

“I did,” the doctor answered, settling back down into bed and cuddling up against Yerim, “I was so scared.”

“My poor baby...” the younger girl cooed, the side of Sooyoung’s head, “What was it about?”

“I don’t remember it too clearly. I was being chased by something, but I don’t know what. I was in these snowy mountains, and there was no one else around. I kept calling for help but nobody came,” Sooyoung wrapped both of her arms around Yerim now, burying her face in the younger girl’s voluminous chest, “I know it’s silly but I was terrified. It felt so real…”

“But it wasn’t,” Yerim said softly, planting a kiss on the top of Sooyoung’s head, “It wasn’t real. You’re here in your home, all tucked up in bed, with the best nurse in the world taking care of you. I’m sorry for leaving you without saying anything. If you’d told me earlier about the nightmares, I would’ve waited for you to wake up on your own.”

“It’s okay, princess,” Sooyoung murmured, her eyelids fluttering, “I’m sorry for getting annoyed. You are the best nurse ever.”

“Good night, Sooyoung.”

“Good night, Yerim. I love you…”

Yerim felt herself go immediately stiff at Sooyoung’s words. Her heart dropped to her stomach at the same time, and she felt a quick wash of anxiety rolling over her. Luckily, Sooyoung was already asleep again, so she didn’t feel the change in Yerim’s posture.

Love. The simple, four-letter word was enough to make Yerim’s mind start to race immediately. It had been such a short amount of time since she’d gotten involved with Sooyoung. Granted, their relationship was far from normal; things moved rapidly between them, and they had shared many emotions between each other. Yerim had no idea what her own feelings were. There was no straightforward way for her to articulate exactly how she felt about Sooyoung at all. She had to have at least some kind of strong feelings towards the older girl. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be here, trying to help her through these withdrawals. Now that Yerim thought of it, she had never treated any of her significant others this way. It was as if the nurse had an infinite measure of patience for Sooyoung. As frustrating as she could be sometimes, Yerim had never considered leaving her. Hell, the thought of that alone made Yerim angry.

Yerim looked at the snoring doctor beside her. Sooyoung’s mouth was slightly open, her breaths coming slow and calm, yet her eyes were darting back and forth beneath her eyelids. Occasionally, she would grip Yerim just a little tighter, sometimes letting out a small whimper of fear, and the brunette would respond by pulling her closer and giving her a kiss. It was enough to fight off whatever withdrawal-fueled hallucinations she was having, temporarily at least.

Yerim found herself settling on a troubling question: was the doctor truly in love with her, or was it simply a hollow declaration brought on by her current mental state?

    As exhausted as she was, it took Yerim more than an hour to fall back asleep, as that simple four-letter word just kept resonating within her mind.

***

“From Seulgi: We have to talk.”

“To Seulgi: Now you’re ready to talk?”

“From Seulgi: you.”

“To Seulgi: I’m sorry you feel that way”

“From Seulgi: Where are you right now?”

“To Seulgi: I’ll send you an address for a place to meet me”

***

    Jisoo glanced down at her phone to check the time. 9:54am. Seulgi would be meeting her at the cafe soon. The violet-haired girl couldn’t help but feel nervous. She knew that this meeting would be entirely confrontational. Seulgi would be furious, and the older girl would most likely make some sort of scene. But that was okay. Jisoo held no regret for what she’d done. Joohyun was too good of a person to be going through this.

    Looking back, Jisoo could still remember the hurt she’d felt when Seulgi and Joohyun had become an official couple. It had been less than two months since Jisoo and Seulgi had ended their fling, under the pretense that they both needed time alone to figure themselves out. She’d been angry, depressed, and betrayed. Jisoo had only agreed to take the time off from seeing one another in order to give Seulgi an opportunity to sort out her feelings. The violet-haired girl had been under the impression that Seulgi would either tell her that she wanted to cut it off permanently, or (in what Jisoo had seen as the best case scenario) admit that she had strong feelings for Jisoo and perhaps try to start a relationship with her. But no. Instead, she’d found out through Chaeyoung and Jennie that Seulgi had started dating Bae Joohyun, a girl who was touted as one of the smartest, prettiest, kindest girls at their university. A girl who, since having her heart broken by the infamous Kim Taeyeon two years prior, had refused to open up to anyone else.

    After a time, Jisoo was able to set her feelings aside and move on. She remained in contact with Seulgi every once in awhile, and she saw her former lover with Joohyun on campus many times. She couldn’t help but wonder how Joohyun always seemed so happy with Seulgi, when all Jisoo had experienced with the older girl was unsurety and unreciprocated emotions. She’d honestly been jealous of how Joohyun seemed to change Seulgi from a flighty, noncommittal tease into a loving, caring girlfriend. But now Jisoo wondered if Seulgi had really changed at all. If she was willing to cheat on Joohyun after all this time, had she become an even worse person than before?

    Jisoo’s reminiscence was interrupted as the door to the cafe opened, and a certain monolidded girl walked in. Even from a distance, Jisoo could see that the older girl looked disheveled and unkempt, as if she’d recently been dragged through hell; it made Jisoo feel just a bit sorry for her.

    However, when Seulgi’s tired eyes fell upon Jisoo, they filled with a visceral hatred that the violet-haired girl did not expect. The brunette glared viciously as she stomped her way over to Jisoo’s table, practically throwing herself into the seat across from the younger girl. Despite Seulgi’s intimidating demeanor, Jisoo kept her cool, taking a nonchalant sip of her milkshake.

    “What the is your problem?” Seulgi hissed, leaning in, her tone sinister, “How dare you get involved with my relationship like this? Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

    “Judging by the way Joohyun cried on the phone, I can guess.” Jisoo replied coldly.

    Seulgi’s hands began to shake with rage, and the expression on her face was nothing short of furious.

    “Explain yourself.” the older girl demanded, banging one of her fists on the table, causing several people around them to glance over in surprise. Neither of the girls paid them any mind.

    “Well,” Jisoo stated, “To put it simply, Joohyun is too sweet of a woman to be going through this kind of thing, again. And clearly you don’t deserve her if, knowing what you know about her past, you still went and whored around behind her back.”

    “That doesn’t answer the question,” Seulgi bit back, “This has nothing to do with you, even a little bit. Why can’t you keep your mouth shut and your nose out of other people’s business for once?”

    “Because I know exactly what it’s like to be hurt by you, Kang Seulgi,” Jisoo’s voice was becoming dangerous now as well, though both girls kept their tones low, “Or do you not remember our entire relationship?”

    “There was no relationship. It was just a fling, remember?”

    “Wow,” Jisoo let out  a short, sarcastic laugh, “Did you really forget that quickly? Did you forget all the times I confessed to you how much I cared about you? All the times I helped you cheat in school, all the times I paid for your food because you blew all your money on alcohol, all the times I comforted you when you got into a fight with one of your friends? Did you forget all the times you ran around at every opportunity you got, hooking up with anyone that was willing to give you even the slightest bit of attention while you were drunk?”

    “We weren’t exclusive. It didn’t ing matter.” Seulgi said through gritted teeth.

    “But you knew damn well I wanted to be. And you took advantage of me. My friends tried to talk me about of being with you, tried to tell me that you were just using me, but I was too stupid to listen. I was depressed for years over you, Seulgi. I barely even want to open myself up to anyone because I’m afraid they’re all gonna treat me like you did. Even Lisa notices it, sometimes. How emotionally guarded I am now because of you. You treated me like I was just some plaything for when you needed money or grades or a good .”

    “Oh, so this isn’t about Joohyun then, is it?” Seulgi asked, leaning backwards now, a sinister smile playing on her face, “It’s about me. It’s about you trying to get back at me for how bad of a person you think I was. You just hate me.”

    Jisoo’s jaw unconsciously dropped as she sat there, unable to respond to the smugly delusional woman in front of her. She took a deep breath, trying to clear her head of the negative thoughts that were raging within it.

    “No, I can assure you it isn’t that. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been willing to hang out with you at all. I wouldn’t be checking up on you every once in awhile. Granted, this is when I thought you’d become a better person, when I thought you had changed your ways. But I guess you got worse. Bottom line is, I just don’t want Joohyun getting hurt. Because I know what it’s like to be involved with you. And seeing someone else going through what I did…” Jisoo sighed and shook her head, “I can’t just sit back and let that happen.”

    “Y-you have no idea what you’re talking about-”

    “I do.” Jisoo said finally, standing up, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out from beneath her eyelids.

    “Where are you going?” Seulgi asked, standing up as well, blocking Jisoo’s path, “We aren’t done here, you have to help me fix this.”

    “I don’t have to do anything,” Jisoo said, locking eyes with the older girl, “The only thing I have to do is go back to my hotel and pack, because I’m heading back to the U.S. tomorrow night. And honestly, it’s a relief. The farther I get away from this mess, the better.”

    Jisoo motioned to step around the older girl, but was stopped by an outstretched arm. She spun around, ready to yell at Seulgi for grabbing her like that, but what she saw in Seulgi’s eyes caused her to pause. The brunette no longer looked angry, but completely and utterly defeated. As if all the life had been out of her, and she was some sort of undead creature, cursed to travel across the land as an empty shell of her former self.

    “I know I messed up,” she whispered, “I know I’m a bad person, and I’m truly sorry for how I treated you in the past. But I have changed. I swear. I’m a better person now. With Seungwan… it was a moment of weakness. I can assure you I never cheated on Joohyun before that, and I never plan on doing it again. I know you won’t believe me but… but it’s true, Jisoo. Joohyun’s my one true love. I was thinking of ing proposing to her before all this. She’s amazing, and given the chance, I would never, ever hurt her like this again. Ever.”

    “I’m sorry,” Jisoo replied firmly, channeling all of her courage into her words, “But if you truly loved her in the first place, you would have never cheated on her.”

    Seulgi let go of Jisoo’s arm, tears now streaming down her pale cheeks. She looked down, her brown locks covered her eyes as she stood in the middle of the cafe, shamelessly sobbing.

    “I really am sorry Seulgi,” Jisoo said, more gently this time, offering the older girl a soft pat on the shoulder, “Good luck with everything.”

    Jisoo turned away from Seulgi just as her own tears began to flow, stepping out into the morning sun and hurrying away, trying to put as much distance as possible between her and the girl she once loved.

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Thanks for reading<3