You know, I kind of have a problem with the way I am around Taemin. I really don’t act like myself. If he begins to like that version of me, then he’s not interested in the actual me. He’d like this character I’ve created of myself to appeal to his likes more. The biggest problem is, I don’t think I could handle the truth if I finally acted like myself and he doesn’t care about me any longer. I never was pursuing him before, per se, but even any thoughts of us being together needs to get shut down. My feelings can’t afford to get hurt while I’m the leader of a new group who’s just getting started. I guess my best bet now is to set my goal to gaining his friendship.

I glance over and see his hands holding the bottom half of the steering wheel instead of using just one hand like earlier. Did he do that before on purpose to try and look cooler? No way. Anyway, my heart jumps with nerves and excitement at the opportunity of conversation.

“Oh,” I start, “you drive the same way I do.” His eyebrows draw together in light confusion. “You steer with your hands low on the wheel,” I explain and demonstrate with an imaginary wheel made from the air in front of me.

He chuckles, “Oh yeah? You don’t drive like Key Hyung?” Showing me what he means, he jolts his posture upright and tightly grasps the wheel at 2 and 10 o’clock. I laugh in response, and with the light atmosphere, I find the courage to continue with a new topic of conversation.

“So where are we going now, by the way? You never responded before.”

He gives me another look with a strong side-eye, saying, “I’m not telling you until we get there.”

“That’s cryptic. Makes me think I’d say ‘no’ if you told me before we got there.”

He just shrugs. After a couple seconds he says, “You should like it. But no more questions. It’s a surprise.”

I turn my attention back to the road in front of us. Having spent a lot of alone time with him already, I feel much more comfortable in the silence of the car ride. In fact, I hardly even notice the lack of noise until Taemin reaches to turn the radio on. I’m not sure how to read his actions, because lord knows I overthink everything. Does that mean he’s still uncomfortable to be with me alone in the car? Or is it, maybe, a good sign that he just thinks it’s fun to sing along to the radio with me? I tried to ignore my confusion and just enjoy or li