Part. 9

Think about this situation carefully. You said you wanted to raise Nathan, Kyuhyun. Well, here's your chance. All you have to do is, marry Ryeowook, his real father.

Kyuhyun loosened his tie with one hand. "This is unfair!" he said to Sungmin. "I don’t love Ryeowook and he doesn’t love me. Under such circumstances, what kind of home can we give to Nathan? And as I recall you wanted him to be raised in this house. Changmin and Victoria have just built their house and I’m sure they won’t move here."

Sungmin moved a small bottle attached to his IV uneasily. His veins were clearly visible on his skin, his skull more noticeable, though only twenty-four hours when Kyuhyun last saw him.

Sungmin looked at Ryeowook, who sat quiet while Kyuhyun barely noticed his presence, then Sungmin looked at Kyuhyun and replied, "I want Nathan to be raised in or around Incheon. And for you and Ryeowook who don’t love each other, well, you just have to try, don’t you?"

"Sungmin, your excuse doesn’t make sense."

"It's time to fantasize, Kyuhyun. I don’t have to act sensibly."

Ryeowook lowered his head, holding the edge of his chair tightly.

Kyuhyun suddenly felt sorry for him, but that moment passed as fast as his arrival.

"Now," Sungmin continued, "please leave me alone. I wanna cry and I wanna do it alone."

Kyuhyun immediately moved, and as he moved, he reached out his hand, holding one of Ryeowook's hands and pulling him to his feet. Bringing Ryeowook to the porch with him, passed the kitchen, where Nathan and Jiyeon also Saeun watched them with their mouths wide open, passed the elegant kitchen table, and finally arrived in a studyroom right in front of the entrance.

When Ryeowook was no longer able to fight –which was quite a concern, Kyuhyun constantly thinking of something. Deep down  inside, he was still trying to overcome his feelings for losing ChoKorp –and now this problem came along.

He threw Ryeowook into an old-fashioned leather chair, then pulled out a same chair in front of him. Sitting face to face with the man, their knees almost touched each other.

"Don’t blame me for making Sungmin like that!" Ryeowook suddenly screamed because of the overwhelming emotion he had been arresting. His face was pale as if it was not blooded, sadness was clearly visible in his eyes, even Kyuhyun could believe it. Ryeowook was shocked and as worried as Kyuhyun about this matter.

"Do you need a glass of water or something?" Kyuhyun asked.

Ryeowook shook his head, rubbing his cheek with the back of his hand.

If he was pretending, his acting was really good. Kyuhyun put his hand on his own thigh, trying to take a deep breath. Still, that did not help him at all.

"This is because of the affair," Ryeowook muttered sadly. "This is Sungmin’s revenge to me."

Kyuhyun sighed. "No," he said. "Sungmin is not that kind of person."

"Really?" Ryeowook argued, his eyes tearful again. His nose was red and his breathing gasped.

Kyuhyun tried to hold himself from pulling Ryeowook into his lap, and hugged him until he felt better. "No," Kyuhyun repeated, but Ryeowook did not seem to hear him.

"I should’ve known this is kind of trap." Ryeowook said uneasily. "I should’ve known he wouldn’t let me raise Nathan in the very first place."

"Sungmin," Kyuhyun said flatly, "isn’t a person like that."

Ryeowook held his chair tightly, as if  he wanted to raise his body but he could not even try it. "I don’t know if Yesung’s already married, I swear." he said.

"If you don’t know," Kyuhyun said, "you should’ve known."

Ryeowook nodded hard. "You are right. Does that make you happy, Kyuhyun? Are you satisfied? Or should I make a special white T-shirt with words in red line that say ‘I’M ’ and wear it every day for the rest of my life?"

Kyuhyun pictured it with a grim smile in his mind –the white T-shirt  Ryeowook wore suddenly wet, made the curve of his body visible– but he immediately embarrassed to himself for thinking like that at this precarious moment. "We all make mistakes," he said, although not very friendly.

"Even if it's you?" Ryeowook challenged him, restraining himself from pulling on Kyuhyun's collar and punching him hard right on the face.

"So is me." Kyuhyun replied.

Ryeowook wiped his eyes, then unconsciously he wiped his nose firmly with the tissue he had just taken and it made Kyuhyun have to hold a smile. "What should I do?" Ryeowook sadly asked.

"What should you do? I think it's our problem."

"How can you say that?" Ryeowook immediately denied it. "According to my understanding, Sungmin's lawyer and his wife live in Incheon. You can meet Nathan whenever you want. But me? I can’t do it. I live in Seoul, don’t you remember? I was unlucky."

Kyuhyun recalled the moment when he kissed Ryeowook in the park during the July Seven Celebrations, and for some reason, this time he wanted to do it again. But since this was not the right time, he did not follow his desire –but the desire still remained.

Oh, that desire persisted.

My God, still there.

"Kyuhyun?"

He shook his head. "I care about Nathan, too," he said. "It feels like–"

Ryeowook's expression changed, almost imperceptibly. "Like he's the son from your love and Sungmin?"

"I don’t remember saying that. I never said so."

"You really love him, don’t you?"

"I've loved him. Once."

"That's why you can love Nathan right away."

Kyuhyun nodded. "I loved him right away," he said, a little disturbed, with something else as important as this conversation, that was an unpredictable look on Ryeowook's eyes.

Ryeowook nodded, sobbed, and dumped the tissue into the trash. "Of course it would be very ridiculous if we got married. I mean, you and me."

Kyuhyun imagined his big and empty home –except when Jiyeon came to visit– and his king-sized bed that he did not like to sleep on his own. Usually he slept on his living room or on a sofa in his office, even on a park bench, covering himself with newspaper.

No, because the sofa in his office was no longer his choice.

Maybe he could buy a sleeping bag and sleep in Brenn's cage.

"Really ridiculous." He agreed with Ryeowook, long after thinking about it.

Ryeowook cried again.

Kyuhyun could not resist the emotion that came to him. He did the thing he had previously decided not to do –holding Ryeowook's hand and pulled him into a hug.

Ryeowook's body froze and refused for a moment, then he let Kyuhyun hug him.

Kyuhyun was nervous because the hug felt so warm to him.

"What should I do?" Ryeowook asked again, his voice muffled on Kyuhyun's shoulders.

Kyuhyun's shirt felt wet with tears. "You will be preparing to pack the things you need for you and Nathan to camp later." Kyuhyun replied.

Ryeowook lifted his head, looked at Kyuhyun's eyes in disbelief. "What?"

Kyuhyun grinned. "So what, city man? Are you afraid? Afraid of snakes, bears, or insects?"

Ryeowook smiled with a wet face, but looked a little excited. "No," he said. "I'm not a coward."

"Have you ever ridden a horse?"

"Once, when I was nine," Ryeowook said. "My father took me to the racetrack at the time."

"Oh well, it will make you become an expert on riding a horse." Kyuhyun replied, surprised because he felt so much better, when he knew that his life was already destroyed.

"And that doesn’t mean I won’t be stiff from sitting on the horseback." He looked worried.

"So is with me." Kyuhyun admitted, with a little sacrifice of his pride. He's a Cho. He should be able to cope with horses.

"You're not going to ride a horse? But Sungmin thinks you can teach Nathan –"

"I'm not saying I'm not going to ride a horse," Kyuhyun told Ryeowook. "It's just been a long time since the last time I did it, that's all." He let go of his hug. "Pack your stuff." He continued. "You and Nathan are going to Daecheong –to my house– with Jiyeon and me."

He obviously was being careful, Ryeowook thought for a moment, and finally nodded.

***

Bringing a baby to camp, it took a lot of stuff and a long time to prepare it.

Half an hour later, with all the stuffs put in the trunk, Nathan and his baby seat were mounted in the back seat of Kyuhyun's Jaguar. Jiyeon sat quietly beside the little baby boy, and Ryeowook sat in the front, then they leave.

Ryeowook looked dashing with his old jeans and a shirt –which was unfortunately dry– but he wore white sneakers. Kyuhyun shook his head. The first floor of Kyuhyun's house was filled with various boots of various sizes. Kyuhyun would force Ryeowook to try them one by one until he found a pair of shoes that fit him later.

"Are Cho Changmin and Victoria going to ride?" Ryeowook asked as they stepped out of the city.

"Shim Changmin," Kyuhyun corrected. "Victoria was once a 'Cho'. And, well, they might be there. Some people from out of town seem to be coming too."

"People from out of town?"

"Another Chos." Kyuhyun explained. "There's a big meeting in the office today and most of them may still be around here." He waited for the hole in his stomach to open again, like a trap, because his career at the company was over, but it did not happen.

Surprisingly, he could survive.

Ryeowook looked grim. "I wanna meet them. Changmin and Victoria, I mean."

Kyuhyun glanced in the rearview mirror, saw Jiyeon's shadow over there. That little girl shook Nathan's toy under the boy's nose, making him laugh. Kyuhyun did not want to discuss the terms of the adoption in front of his daughter.

As he glanced briefly at Ryeowook before staring back at the street in front of him, Kyuhyun knew that Ryeowook saw him checking the rearview mirror and that beautiful man could understand his worries.

Ryeowook moved slightly in his chair, turned back and smiled at Jiyeon. "I'll bet you're good at riding horses," he told the girl.

A warm feeling appearing in Kyuhyun.

"Not as good as Daehan." Jiyeon replied proudly. "But I can ride well."

"Who is Daehan?" Ryeowook asked although he felt familiar with the name.

"My distant cousin, more or