Part. 12

Kyuhyun needed to think about all the problems he was facing right now.

He wanted to see Ryeowook and held his body against the wall.

But he also needed to stay away and chose new perspective.

After they went to the courthouse, which was near Yunho’s jail, and registered their marriage, Kyuhyun and Ryeowook separated.

Ryeowook and Nathan returned to Sungmin's house.

Kyuhyun returned to Daecheong.

After he arrived, Kyuhyun changed his clothes, ate new sandwich, and went to the Brenn’s cage.

Brenn's cage was full with grass, and so was the place to drink, but the donkey still greeted Kyuhyun's arrival, braying happily.

"Hey there," Kyuhyun said. After picking up a cutting tool and a hook, he walked to Brenn's cage, lifted one of the donkey's legs and began to cut his nails. It was not a difficult job, but needed some patience, and thank God that donkey was able to hold it with pleasure.

"I'm getting married." Kyuhyun told the donkey.

Brenn touched Kyuhyun's shoulder, probably sympathizing with him. Or rather, that animal was begging for a carrot.

"His name is Kim Ryeowook." Kyuhyun continued while cutting that animal's nails, being careful not to cut Brenn's tender skin. "Like henry has said, he's really pretty, cute, and y, but he's just as stubborn as donkey. Don’t be angry."

Brenn whinnied. His brown eyes believed him deeply.

Kyuhyun laid down the cutting tool and took the hook, a kind of metal used to smooth the rough corners of the donkey’s nails. Its voice was very rhythmic and maybe that was the reason why Kyuhyun did not hear the sound of a car coming.

He was shocked to see Jiyeon's head appeared at the cage’s door. Her face was sunburned and there were mosquito bites on her chin, but besides, she seemed to have managed to stay at the camp and down the hill from Siwon’s house.

"Uncle Heechul drove me home," she said.

Kyuhyun smiled, happy to see her. "Are you having a good time?"

"Daebak!" Jiyeon replied. "We had barbecue party and Uncle Siwon told about ghosts. I was with Daehan, Minguk, and Mansae awake late into the night. Max ate too many hot dogs and threw them up everywhere and Aunt Victoria had to bathe him in the river."

"It sounds familiar," said Kyuhyun, relieved. He himself had been doused in the river, once or twice when he was child.

"Can I have a horse, Dad?"

"Yeah," Kyuhyun replied, "but not now, honey."

Jiyeon smiled at Brenn. "He's getting treatment," she observed. "If only Brenn was female, I would dye his nails."

Kyuhyun chuckled. "Go take a bath," he said.

Jiyeon sighed. "I'll clean Brenn’s cage first." He replied. "He’s so messed up. He's pissing everywhere."

"Right. Do it before taking a bath." Kyuhyun replied, still smiling as he continued to cut Brenn's nails.

Jiyeon ran off, returned with a wheelbarrow and carried a pitchfork on her shoulder. She started shoveling Brenn's , but Kyuhyun knew that Jiyeon realized something from her way of constantly stealing eyes on Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun stood up, putting one arm on Brenn's back.

Jiyeon stood silent, leaning against the pitchfork. Waited.

"I'll get married in a few days, honey." Kyuhyun said.

Jiyeon froze for a moment. It felt like forever, even though it was only for a second or two. "With Ryeowook?" she said.

Kyuhyun gasped, nodded. Where did she find out?

"Will he stay here after Uncle Sungmin died? Together with Nathan?"

Kyuhyun nodded again. This tension killed him. Jiyeon could have responded to this marriage generously, or she could also feel threatened. Her position in this matter was very important for Kyuhyun, he was aware of it. He had never thought of this before –the idea of getting married, with Ryeowook or with someone else. That was a new thing that he still tried to accept.

"Does that mean Nathan will be my brother?"

"Yes," said Kyuhyun. "Do you mind?"

"I always thought Daddy may want a son."

"No one can replace my beautiful girl," Kyuhyun told her. "But I also don’t mind having a son."

"He's gonna be a Cho? Like me?"

"He’s gonna be a Cho." Kyuhyun confirmed it. "Like you."

Jiyeon's lower lip quivered. "But he'll stay here all the time while I'm not. Daddy will probably love Nathan more than you love me because you can see him every day."

Kyuhyun walked toward Jiyeon who still held her pitchfork, and he put his hand on Jiyeon's shoulder. "The Cho is fair, Jiy." He said softly, his voice hoarse. "I will not love Nathan more than I love you."

Jiyeon pondered his words, her face was serious and heart-wrenching and it made Kyuhyun's eyes burned. "Promise?" She asked.

"I promise you."

Jiyeon tilted her head so she could see Kyuhyun's face. "But I think Daddy should try to love Nathan just as much as you love me. That's what people called fair."

Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around Jiyeon, hugged her for a moment then kissed the top of her head. "I will try, honey" said Kyuhyun.

"What about Ryeowook? Do you love him too?"

Kyuhyun knew his baby girl would ask this. He had been living by storing a lie from Jiyeon, and he could not add another lie anymore, though it would make things easier for both of them. "I don’t think so, uhm, maybe not yet," he said.

Jiyeon kept her body away from Kyuhyun, letting the pitchfork fall on the floor. "Daddy!" She protested.

"People get married every day all around the world for the reasons that have nothing to do with love," Kyuhyun said quickly.

"Daddy doesn’t love Mommy," Jiyeon denied him firmly, "and see what happens. There were lots of fights and screams, and Daddy got out of the house. You two are divorced and I'm stuck in it!"

"I know, Jiy. And I'm sorry. I'll do anything to fix it."

Jiyeon bent to get the pitchfork and stood up. "Then tell Mommy you want me to stay here, forever, with Daddy, Ryeowook, and Nathan.”

Jiyeon's pleading eyes made Kyuhyun's heart hurt, his throat choked and it made his voice hoarse. "I'll tell her," Kyuhyun said. "But you and I know what she will say. And even though your Mommy and I have different opinions, she's still your mother, Jiy."

"She doesn’t wanna be my mother. She just wants to use me to get her revenge on you and took your money, Dad."

The words were like hard bones, but if he denied them, it did not respect Jiyeon. People always underestimated the children’s ability, Kyuhyun thought –and he felt guilty about it. Children knew when they're being taken advantage of. They knew whether they were loved or not. They also knew who wanted them and who did not.

Kyuhyun wanted Jiyeon.

Tae Hee did not want her.

The reality was simple ... but also complicated.

"Jiy," Kyuhyun said, only that word could come out of his mouth.

Jiyeon straightened her back, grasped the pitchfork tightly and continued to shovel Brenn's . A tear trickled past the dust that stuck to the girl's face after a camping event last night. Kyuhyun stretched out his hand and rubbed Jiyeon's cheek with his thumb.

"She’ll do it for money, Dad." Jiyeon said. "Mom will give me for the money. Lots of money."

Kyuhyun's heart hurt. The facts were heavy to be accepted. And the fact that Jiyeon knew her own mother would sell her –Jiyeon might have known this for a long time– made Kyuhyun devastated and angry. Kyuhyun was anxious to argue her but he could not, because this would make his daughter more depressed if he said it firmly. Jiyeon had held this for God knew how long it took, and no one knew what she had been through.

"You understand it, Jiy. It's about your Mommy, not you, right?"

Jiyeon nodded. "I know." She said sobbing, and she kept shoveling Brenn’s .

Kyuhyun ruffled her hair. "Get this over and go take a shower," he said hoarsely. "We have no food at home, so we have to go to Seonjae and shopping."

She nodded.

Kyuhyun continued to cut Brenn's nails.

"Daddy will talk to Mommy, right?" Jiyeon asked without looking at him.

"I'll talk to her," Kyuhyun said.

***

Ryeowook phoned his father after he had finished bathing and changed Nathan's clothes. Saeun had moved Nathan to his playing box on the terrace, he played there, accompanying Sungmin.

Ryeowook sat on the edge of his bedroom window, staring at the messy bed he'd slept with Kyuhyun last night, and he tried to control his embarrassment.

It never happened to him. He had never met anyone who hurt him like Kyuhyun, but he also had never had so fiercely. Until last night, Ryeowook was frankly convinced that the power of getting again and again in just one night was just a slogan that Cosmopolitan used to sell their magazine.

Not really, he thought, hearing the phone ringing in the far end of a room.

His father's mailbox received the call. His father probably would not talk to him because he had faxed his driver's records to Luna, and Luna reported to Ryeowook that his father's license was being held by the police. So Ryeowook had not bought the car his father wanted and although Ryeowook had not spoken directly to him since their last conversation –when he sat in the hospital park, Ryeowook knew his father was angry.

"This is Kim Shin." Came from the recording voice. "Leave a message."

Ryeowook's eyes filled with tears.

.

He was tired of crying all the time. It was not like him at all. He was always strong, competent, and responsible. Until he met Yesung who started to destroy his life but also gave him the best gift he ever got. He gave him Nathan.

Yesung had taken Nathan from Ryeowook. Caught him when he was weak, playing with his guilty feelings.

Now, magically, in such a high price, Sungmin almost returned his best gift.

"Daddy, this is Ryeowook," he said in front of his cell phone. "I'm getting married in two days and I think you wanna fly to Incheon to attend the ceremony. Call me, okay? Please?"

Ryeowook hung up, then went on to call Luna. Sooner or later he had to go back to Seoul, collecting his belongings and deciding whether to close or move his office. He also had to sell his apartment in Gangnam and took care of other things. Saying goodbyes to his friends and his favorite special places.

It would be hard.

He knew it.

When would he do it? It was a tightly sealed secret for the rest of the world, and Ryeowook would not let it open just like that.

"With Kim's Literer Agent," Luna said from the phone. "Is there anything I can help?"

"I hope you can help me," Ryeowook replied.

Luna's tone softened as she realized that it was Ryeowook's vo