Part. 14

Are you going backwards? Or would you let Nathan have a whole family?

Before Ryeowook and Kyuhyun slept together, Ryeowook would answer that question confidently. Was he kidding? Yes, he would backwards. He certainly would not have chosen Cho Kyuhyun to be the father of his son.

So easy.

So simple.

Unless, that fact was like slapping him, bringing him back to an unexpected reality.

It might come as a surprise, but Ryeowook realized he was starting to love this complicated Kyuhyun.

He sighed heavily and waited for himself to vomit.

"Ryeowook?" Kyuhyun asked, the surface of Ryeowook’s hand with his thumb. Ryeowook felt his body react to Kyuhyun's touch, his soul and everything in him. "Are you okay?"

"No," Ryeowook replied bitterly. "I'm not okay."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Ryeowook stood up, trembling, not trusting his legs to hold his body. These tears, these damn tears almost came to his eyes. Again. He had held his senses since Sungmin called him to Incheon. Then he met with Kyuhyun just to make things worse. Worst than ever. "Oh, you've done so many things to me, thank you very much, Cho Kyuhyun."

Kyuhyun looked confused, thinking carefully. "Are you going to marry me or not?"

Ryeowook bit his lower lip. He remained silent.

"Ryeowook? Are you–"

"Yes." He said after a long break. "But it’s only because of Nathan."

One side of Kyuhyun's injured mouth was lifted up but his eyes still looked confused. "Is there any reason besides Nathan?"

"Nothing." Ryeowook said sharply. "Nothing at all." Then he picked the wet towel from Kyuhyun's hand, which was now soiled by Cho's stubborn blood. He walked to the trash can and threw it away.

Ryeowook left the Mercedes key in the car, but it took him a moment to remember. Then he suddenly felt tired, and he stopped searching for the key.

"Do you wanna go?" Kyuhyun asked, sounding amazed.

This slow person, Ryeowook thought. Of course he would go. Luna's plane had landed in the airport and that woman might be on her way to Seonjae in a rented car. If Ryeowook stayed in Daecheong, he would not be able to welcome his bestfriend.

But...

No, Ryeowook could have been in Kyuhyun's bed for a few minutes, and then suffering from lust. And he might say something stupid because of his inevitable –like 'I love you'.

"Yeah, I’ll go." He said shortly. "I have to do something in Seonjae."

Kyuhyun sighed. "So do I," he said. "Jiyeon is at the book's store and I have to pick her up."

Ryeowook had already opened the door. His hands held the knob tightly. "She will be angry when she sees you." He said worriedly. "To be honest, your face is–"

"It's okay," Kyuhyun said. "Are you still going to bring her shopping tomorrow? Jiyeon, I mean."

"Yes." Ryeowook said, suddenly wishing he could stay longer. And it was not because of , note it in your mind. Something happened –something about Jiyeon. "Kyuhyun, is everything okay? With Jiyeon?"

Kyuhyun shook his head.

Ryeowook was anxious to walk across the room and hug Kyuhyun, but he restrained himself.

"No," Kyuhyun replied. "But it's a long and complicated story. And I have to talk about this with Jiyeon first."

Ryeowook still stood at the door, did not want to leave, but also did not want to remain silent there because it would make him look stupid. "That sounds like a big problem." He finally said.

"It's indeed a big problem." Kyuhyun said grimly.

"Are you sure you don’t wanna talk to me about it?"

"I really wanna talk about it with you." Kyuhyun said sadly. "But, I can’t. I just can’t. It won’t be fair to Jiyeon."

"All right then," Ryeowook said with the same sadness in his eyes. "But if this has anything to do with Nathan–"

"No way." Kyuhyun cut him off.

Ryeowook still hesitated. "Look, maybe I can pick Jiyeon up at the bookstore. Letting her stay in Sungmin's place, with Nathan and Saeun and also me. And then tomorrow morning we can go to the shop. And this will be an opportunity for us to know each other more closely."

Kyuhyun thought of that offer in silence, and finally nodded. "I'll talk to her after you get back," he said. "Maybe even after the wedding."

Finally Ryeowook could move his body. But he did not go out the door, just like he had originally planned. He returned to Kyuhyun's chair, bent down and kissed Kyuhyun's lips gently.

For a moment Ryeowook could feel Kyuhyun's tension, but that man replied to his kiss passionately. Ryeowook knew Kyuhyun wanted to hold him for a moment, but Ryeowook held his hand. If he let it happen, they would end up in bed and he would forget all his plans for today.

And Ryeowook would not let that happen.

Kyuhyun smiled. "You better go," he said. "Before I say something –something weird, like Cho’s typical greetings. And believe me it’ll take all your time."

Ryeowook laughed, though his eyes were watery. Kyuhyun pulled him suddenly, kissed his forehead, and then pushed his body toward the door of the house.

Ryeowook, who was always ready, felt himself blushing. "Jiyeon will need clothes, pajamas, tooth brush."

Kyuhyun nodded.

Ryeowook waited for him while Kyuhyun went upstairs. He looked at the big kitchen, imagining himself there, making breakfast. Helping Jiyeon and Nathan did their homework and preparing Kyuhyun’s suits every morning. Doing activities like a housewife, that would never happen to him if he was still in Seoul.

Kim Ryeowook, the super famous agent, had a thriving business in Seoul, would turn to be Cho Ryeowook, the good husband in Kyuhyun's mansion. And no one would believe in his life that changed three hundred and sixty degree more than himself.

Kyuhyun appeared with a small pink suitcase. Oddly enough he looked so feminine that Ryeowook had to hold back his hysterical scream when he saw Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun walked quickly to the Mercedes, carried Jiyeon's suitcase, put it in the car and waited for Ryeowook to go in there and start the car engine.

"Ryeowook?"

The way Kyuhyun called his name, hoarse and low-pitched, made Ryeowook squirm in his chair and wished, again, that he could stay longer there. Letting Kyuhyun entering his body, undressing him, lying on the bed, and plunged into the joy of heaven on earth.

Kyuhyun had opened a new perspective in Ryeowook, a perspective that he never knew would be there.

But why? Why it should be Cho Kyuhyun, of all the people?

"Wh-what?" Ryeowook asked, regaining hiss consciousness.

"Thank you. Thank you for coming here to stop the fight. Thank you for taking Jiyeon when you return to Seonjae. And thank you for still wanting to marry me."

Ryeowook swallowed. For Kyuhyun, maybe this marriage was just a deal. Just the only way to be a part of Nathan's life. But for Ryeowook, this marrige was the same reason but also more than that. He could not explain though he already knew what it was.

"You’re welcome," Ryeowook said weakly, smiling at him.

Kyuhyun backed away from the car.

Ryeowook ran his car.

Kyuhyun still stared at his departure when Ryeowook looked at the rearview mirror as he cross the bridge. After riding the car a mile or so, Ryeowook pulled over to the side of the road and burst into tears.

I love you, Cho Kyuhyun. God help me, I love that complicated man!

Destiny was playing unfair with his feelings.

Why Kyuhyun?

Why it must be Cho Kyuhyun?

***

Luna was wearing a crumpled red suit that might be one size bigger than her usual size, and her blond-painted hair sticking out around her face. She looked so tired. "Oh, Ryeowook," she said, taking Nathan from Ryeowook's hand. "He’s handsome."

"Up," Nathan said.

Luna laughed softly, her eyes glowing with tears. She saw Jiyeon, standing right behind Ryeowook on the way to Sungmin's house and smiling. "And who is this beautiful girl?"

"Cho Jiyeon." Ryeowook replied, introducing them. "And this is Luna Kim."

Jiyeon stepped forward and reached out his hand and Luna moved Nathan to her other hip so she could shake hands with Jiyeon.

"Ryeowook will be my stepmother. And after the wedding I will call him Mommy." Said the little girl politely.

Ryeowook's stomach stretched inside. That nickname made him both anxious and happy. Maybe it was because he was not used to it. Mommy? Gosh, he’s a Man.

"Ryeowook is lucky," Luna replied. "And you're lucky too."

Jiyeon's attitude made him smile. "He said he has collection of giraffe dolls." Jiyeon said, asking that secret to Luna. For Jiyeon, it seemed like, a collection of giraffe dolls became a requirement to join her family.

Ryeowook faintly remembered Kyuhyun's words in Daecheong a few days before and he suddenly felt tense. He just got to know Jiyeon and already felt like wanting to protect her.

Luna smiled. "Trust me," she said, "Ryeowook has two large glass cabinets filled with giraffe dolls of all kinds and colors. I know it. I've just sent about fifteen dolls –along with clothes and shoes, of course– before I get here."

Jiyeon looked happy. She clapped her hands while shaking her long hair.

Ryeowook felt the need to thank Luna's kindness. "May God bless you." He said to that woman. Ryeowook packed up in a hurry before leaving Seoul and there were some clothes he really missed. Most of them were everyday clothes but also some suits. He was going to be a home-grown husband now, but he was still handling nearly a dozen clients, loyal clients who had not fired him from becoming their agent.

He needed to be the other Ryeowook, the Ryeowook who was free and competent without having to muffle all his emotions. The Ryeowook that was full of vigor, with an official suit that said do–not–messing–up–with–me.

"We have to talk about your father," Luna said after receiving Ryeowook's thanks because she had agreed to go to Ryeowook's apartment and pack his things, before boarding a plane to attend his unexpected wedding.

"I know." Ryeowook smiled slightly.

Jiyeon picked up Luna’s small suitcase. That woman did not carry much clothes because when the wedding ceremony was over, she would back to Seoul.

"I'll put this suitcase into your room." Jiyeon said casually, as if she had been living in Sungmin's house for her entire life. "Your room is right next to my room and we share a bathroom."

"Thank you," Luna said, returning Nathan to Ryeowook with relief.

Jiyeon boarded the elevator. She had gone up and down with the elevator many times since Ryeowook brought her here from Eunhyuk’s book store.

"What a cute girl," Luna said, studying her.

Ryeowook nodded in agreement and pointed the way to the kitchen. Saeun was in the there, muttering on the phone, and Sungmin was lying on his bed in the porch.

Ryeowook stopped to put Nathan in his playing box, then he entered the porch.

Sungmin was looking at the flowers in the garden, but when Ryeowook and Luna entered, Sungmin immediately turned his head.