Part. 10

Ryeowook stood on his boots, doing his best to do Kyuhyun’s suggestions and preferring to think of riding horses than Nathan's life with the strangers that was about to happen soon, but it was very difficult.

Kyuhyun had replaced his worn out jeans and his blue cotton shirt with one of his casual shirts before feeding Brenn one last time.

Something that Sungmin once said, came into Ryeowook's mind as they drove across the river to the group of Cho's family.

Wait till you see Kyuhyun riding a horse.

Ryeowook's stomach twisted at those words.

He tried to make some reason to himself. Kyuhyun was still Kyuhyun, with an official suit or wearing jeans and boots. Stood on the ground or sat on the horse's back. He was still a snobbish Cho Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun parked his Jaguar in an unusual place, which was also not easy, because of the variety of branded cars, horse-haul trucks, pickup trucks, and some Harley Davidson that had filled around Donghae’s house.

Jiyeon came out of the car and ran to join the three boys Ryeowook ever saw in a bookstore, and at the Seven July Celebrations in the park.

Ryeowook came out slowly, stalling as he released Nathan in the back seat. Kyuhyun, meanwhile, moved all the luggage to a truck near the pickup, quietly marking which was apparently an additional item.

Cho Siwon approached, grinned and herded a gorgeous horse behind him. Ryeowook remembered that man, of course –he was joining the Seven July Celebration with his new husband, and he saw him again in the clinic when Sungmin's condition worsened.

He grinned at Ryeowook and it made that little man felt a little more relaxed and not feeling like an outsider. He turned to look at Kyuhyun who had just returned from the truck.

"Let's see if you still remember how to ride a horse." Siwon said to Kyuhyun.

Responding to his challenge, Kyuhyun stepped aside the horse, gripping the end of the grip on the horse's back with one hand, simultaneously putting one foot on the ground, and swinging smoothly, which should not have kept Ryeowook breathless –but he did.

Kyuhyun sat with a view of the sun almost drowning in the west.

Kyuhyun rode a horse.

Imagination did not show its justice.

The world was really playing with his feelings.

"Satisfied?" Kyuhyun asked Siwon.

"Probably." Siwon explained. "The distance is far enough to reach the hill, and we'll take a turning path. It could be, when we get to the camp you will whine to bathe in warm water."

Kyuhyun chuckled, then he took the horse to Ryeowook and bent down to reach Nathan.

Ryeowook hugged his son tightly for a few moments, then handed him over.

Nathan shouted with joy as Kyuhyun slowly put him on the horse's back, waved his hand at Ryeowook and kicked his legs impatiently.

Kyuhyun smiled at Ryeowook. "He won’t get sick after riding." He said. "He's already pretty lined with cloth. You don’t have to worry."

Ryeowook was still staring at Kyuhyun and Nathan sitting together on a horse, and keeping it in memory. When he returned to Seoul, to his old life, this might be –unfortunately– became a beautiful memory.

Siwon, meanwhile, brought another horse. The seat above the back and the bridle was mounted. The horse was slightly smaller than Kyuhyun’s horse.

Siwon waited for Ryeowook to climb the animal, unable to hide his fear. Ryeowook also noticed that Kyuhyun was watching him, one arm locked around Nathan's body.

"I don’t know how to ride this." Ryeowook admitted, a little ashamed of himself for being such a coward.

"I'll help." Siwon assured him. And he did. That slightly made one of Kyuhyun's eyebrows raised.

After Ryeowook went up, Siwon deftly adjusted the footholds on the both sides, and Kyuhyun, whose horse met Ryeowook, showed him how to hold the reins.

Jiyeon rode on a horse, and Daehan was with her –he must be Daehan, because Jiyeon said that boy was a good rider. They both riding a white horse.

Jiyeon smiled encouragingly at Ryeowook. "You look good," she said, lifting a hand to do  a high-five.

Ryeowook picked up one of his hands that was gripping the reins tightly to respond to the high-five.

Around them, some people began to ride their horses, like an organized confusion. There was a lot of laughter that made the listener feel more relaxed.

Kyuhyun, on the other hand, watched Ryeowook in silence, with a possible feeling –but of course not– ashtoned. Nathan remained behind Kyuhyun's arm, a little more silent now, yet still moving impatiently. The little baby boy seemed to know that he was safe and that made Ryeowook's throat choked.

After a few minutes, they started to ride. A bunch of horses and riders made a lot of dust flying. It is actually not good for their health, Ryeowook thought. Perhaps the number of people here is no more than two dozen, but they all seemed to know each other.

Ryeowook was reminded of the harshness of the horse's back and the length of the journey they were going to take, and also he was just a beginner on riding horse. The city man, just like Kyuhyun said, when he before.

Are you afraid?

Ryeowook adjusted his position on the horse's back and also the current situation.

‘Daeng!’ he thought. Who's scared?

Kyuhyun approached him as they walked, slowly, in the middle of the crowd of people –perhaps to show his good attitude and perhaps because he wanted Nathan to see Ryeowook. Of course not because he is worried, right?

Ryeowook began to feel calm –a little. He saw Eunhyuk –the man who owned the bookstore in Seonjae– riding next to a man who looked so strong and had dark hair –Donghae, no doubt the man must be Donghae. And there was Siwon up front with his new husband, they both looked so sweet on the horse as if they were born there. Another man might be in his twenties, riding next to them with a smile on his face, his shriveled foot hanging helplessly on both sides of the horse's back.

Kyuhyun must had seen his direction –God, is he being watched? –because Kyuhyun approached him and said, "The man you're looking at is Zhoumi. He's Heechul’s brother."

Ryeowook was embarrassed by his own fears. If Zhoumi could ride, with his legs deformed, he should have been able to ride a horse too. "He looks happy," he said.

Kyuhyun nodded.

"What if he falls?"

"Siwon will not let that happen," Kyuhyun replied. "Didn’t you see him riding near Zhoumi, secretly watching him?"

Ryeowook took a closer look. Siwon seemed engrossed in conversation with Heechul, but he also looked cautious, almost imperceptible, but it was obvious from his shoulders and the way he laid his right hand on his thigh.

"What happened to Zhoumi?" Ryeowook asked, getting ready to hear that it was none of his business.

"He had an accident when he was just kid," Kyuhyun said, and Ryeowook could see his hardened jaw, almost imperceptibly. "He works in ChoCorp, part of a training program designed by Heechul. Now, because the company is open to the public, he may lose his job, along with many others."

Ryeowook studied Kyuhyun's face. "ChoCorp will need employees, right? A whole new board of directors?"

Kyuhyun nodded, but he still looked grim.

"You really hate this, huh?" Ryeowook asked, then wished he did not ask him, because Kyuhyun's face changed grimmer for a few moments, then Ryeowook saw his familiar cruelty appeared again.

"Letting go of the company? Yes, I hate it."

"You can just keep working there, right?" Ryeowook asked, he knew he was digging deeper hole for himself, but he could not stop asking.

Kyuhyun's big eyes shone fiercely. "No," he said flatly.

"Why not?" Just give me a shovel, Ryeowook thought regretfully. The China's Great Wall Frontier is sure to be around here, ready to bury him anytime.

"The-Feels-Will-Be-Different." Kyuhyun said each word. One by one.

"And is that bad?" Shut up, Ryeowook. Be quiet, be quiet, be queit.

"You sound like Siwon and Donghae," Kyuhyun frowned.

In front of them, Zhoumi's horse was suddenly being frightened, and in the next moment Siwon's hand was already holding its bridle. Obviously, he could have jumped over the horse's back and sat behind Zhoumi, controlling the horse's bridle, but he did not. His actions were right because Zhoumi had already controlled his horse.

Ryeowook imagined what it was like to be protected. Being part of a family like Cho, with a really long and colorful histories, and the relationship between the family members. That seemed to be part of their heritage –even to Jiyeon and the other children.

Even until Nathan, if Sungmin succeed with his plan. Nathan would grow up like Kyuhyun, Siwon, and Donghae -competent, proud of themselves, and might also be arrogant.

Ryeowook bit his lower lip, trying to get rid of the feeling that was flowing inside him. "Are they here? I mean, Changmin and Victoria." He asked after a while.

"There," Kyuhyun said, pointing to a blond man and a tall woman with long black hair. A little boy rode between them, a short black horse.

Ryeowook focused his eyes on the boy. Max, that was his name.

Would he be a good brother to Nathan?

His nose suddenly felt moist, making the horses and riders nearby looked blurry. Ryeowook cried a little as Kyuhyun put his hand on his shoulder.

He could not imagine Nathan's future without him.

And the journey continued, the path continued to climb, stretching among the cotton-producing trees, passed another small river –or perhaps the same river, Ryeowook was not so sure– entered a towering pine forest, its green leaves flew against the blue sky above.

Finally they reached the hill, and Ryeowook noticed that another Chos had arrived first with trucks and set up camps. He smelled the firewood and familiar smell of cooking in the fresh air. Some tents had been set up, though not nearly enough to accommodate all the people here.

Ryeowook would not allow himself to imagine where he would sleep tonight. While at the same time, part of his heart expanded his wings, as if about to leave and fly to Sungmin's house, so he could share this experience with him.

There was a place for horses, with ropes, and water. The riders began to descend the horses, laughed, and stood upright, then gave their horses to someone they had hired to take care the horses.

When it came to his turn, Ryeowook got himself off the horse, partly out of self-esteem, and he probably had fallen if someone had not held him.

He turned and saw the smiling face of Victoria. The small, bespectacled Max stood seriously beside her. Part of him was embarrassed. For God's sake, he was man.

"You must be Sungmin’s friend," Victoria said after stealing a glance towards Kyuhyun. Then, after Ryeowook nodded, which was actually not necessary, Victoria introduced herself.

This woman, Ryeowook thought, would raise my son.

He waited, hoping to hate Victoria with all his heart, but he did not. Victoria's eyes were as beautiful as Kyuhyun's and they both had the same confidence.

Nathan would be fine with her And Victoria would love him.

Kyuhyun bent down his horse, touched Ryeowook and gave Nathan to him. "He needs a diaper," Kyuhyun said.

Victoria smiled, Nathan's head. "Naughty boy," she said.

"I will take his diapers and the stuff he needs." Kyuhyun said and left them.

The three of them walked following Kyuhyun. Ryeowook felt Victoria wanted to hold Nathan but he would not hand him over, not yet, it was not the time for Ryeowook to let him go. Soon Victoria would raise him and she was the one who would put Nathan to sleep at night, read out fairy tales for him, and also put bandages on his knee.

Ryeowook hugged his son tightly that made the boy wriggled. He kissed Nathan's forehead then loosened his embrace.

When they caught up with Kyuhyun, that man had found a box of diapers, and a blanket, some tissues and a bottle of hand sanitizer.

Ryeowook might be laughing at this weirdness if his heart was not broken.

Kyuhyun spreaded the blanket in a warm but shady place, far from the crowd of people that was pacing back and forth. Ryeowook knee