Kim Ryeowook forced himself to stop on the sidewalk in front of an old building but very elegant and majestic, taking a deep breath and then exhaling slowly. If he had not calmed himself, he must have jumped the gate and ran along the road, going away from that mansion.

Nathan.

Nathan was somewhere inside this big house.

But so did Sungmin. And Lee Sungmin, at least legally, was Nathan's legitimate father.

All of Ryeowook's soul rebelled against the reality of this one. He deliberately changed his gaze, convincing himself that Nathan was no longer his son, he was Sungmin's son.

The little boy was eighteen months old now, eighteen months, two weeks, and five days exactly. He was newly born, his skin was pink and he was weeping when Ryeowook had last seen him, hugging him in a warm hug - which was so fast - before handing him over. In a very moment Sungmin sent him some photos, but it lasted only temporarily. Nathan was strong, handsome, his hair was black, with glowing eyes that shine brightly. The color of  Ryeowook's eyes, though the man's current hair turned brownish due to the effect of  hair dye. But besides, Nathan was more like his late father than he was.

How could a man get pregnant? Ryeowook was an exception. He could get pregnant and even give birth to a child. Nathan was the proof. You could not stand againts the power of God.

Now, in the next few minutes, Ryeowook would see the baby. He still thought that Nathan was his son, at least in these hard moments.

Perhaps he would be allowed to embrace Nathan. He wanted to do it. Inhaling the scent of his hair and skin ...

Do not get your hopes up, he scolded himself.

It was a miracle that Sungmin, a totally stranger, and do not forget a betrayed husband, had summoned Ryeowook to this small town. He should not be in a hurry, or make mistakes. The miracle like this was very rare and he must use it well.

Ryeowook opened the latch of the shiny black iron gate. The metal was hot and soft when he touched it. A small somewhat hidden plaque adrift on an ornate fence, announced that the house was listed as one of the historic place.

Sungmin had explained, by an e-mail, that the house located in the island of Sonjae –his childhood home– had been left empty for almost a decade. But today his vast grassy lawn looked manicured, with lily flowers and a variety of roses blooming between fresh plants and glowing window poles. (P.S. Sonjae Island is one of the major islands of Incheon and is the central city of the region, credit: wikipedia)

Ryeowook forced himself to walk slowly towards the partially closed front porch. No doubt there were chairs, a small table and even a wooden swing.

Ryeowook imagined himself sitting on the wooden plank while letting Nathan fall asleep on a warm summer evening, and his heart beat a little faster.

Nathan was Sungmin’s son. He repeated the mantra in his heart. Sungmin's son.

He had no idea why Sungmin invited him here. The man has been generous by offering a first-class flight from Seoul, with a car and driver who will pick him up at Incheon International Airport. But Ryeowook, could be considered as a redemption of his sin, preferring to board the bus.

Of course it would be wise if he did not have to come all, but he could not resist the opportunity to meet with Nathan.

The heavy front door swung open just as Ryeowook set a foot on his first step, jerking him out of the allegations during a grueling journey, then a woman came, middle-aged, about 40 years old, slim and tall, in a plain white uniform and thin soled shoes.

"Are you that guy?" She asked without preamble.

That was true, Ryeowook was indeed ‘that guy’. Someone who had conceived Nathan, Nathan's real father, a man who slept with Sungmin's husband. They did not care if Ryeowook did not know that that man’s already married, until it was too late. That was certainly not an excuse, was it? He was smart, graduated from Kyunghee University, owned his own business. Even though Yesung was a master cheat, he should be able to see the signs first.

There was always a sign.

Ryeowook swallowed hard, admitting the irrepressible gloom gloomily.

"Then please come in." Said the woman while fanning herself with one hand. "I can not stand standing with this stranded stranger all day. And you know the air conditioning is not free."

Ryeowook faintly smiled with regret. Sungmin once told him about his housekeeper several times. He said she was easy to get angry, but also good person. "You must be Saeun." Ryeowook said gently, resisting the urge to explain that he was not a household destroyer.

Saeun frowned, slightly nodding unkindly. "Is that just the backpack of your luggage?"

Ryeowook shook his head. "There are still some suitcases in the city's gas station," he replied. "It's too much for me to carry." Most of him regretted the condition, but he was dead-end. Especially because he did not know what to do when he arrived in the station.

Saeun instantly shuddered in disagreement, grunting as she raised her glasses. No wonder she did not welcome him well. Sungmin probably had told her about him. Remember, he was known as the relationship destroyer of the household.  A .

After clearing with an ehemm, Saeun stepped aside to let Ryeowook in. "We'll drive there and pick it up," she said. "Currently Mr. Sungmin is resting on the upper floor, but I have to keep an eye on him." Behind his thick glasses, Saeun's brown eyes wandered for a moment, then she sighed sadly. "My poor son." she continued, more her concentration was addressed on the bush than Ryeowook. "All of this practically tired him out. Staying in this house, accepting guests who have already been in ... Ah, if it were up to me, we would have stayed in Busan where we were before, but nobody could fight him if he had made a decision. "

Ryeowook held his breath through the woman's words. He knew what she wanted to say. But he would not be affected. At the moment he was desperate to inquire about Nathan, but he must act cautiously, especially in the presence of this very old family follower. Kim Saeun became Sungmin's nanny until he was old enough to go to school, then became a family servant. When Sungmin married Kim Jong Woon or was more often called Yesung, Saeun still stayed to take care of his new household.

Ryeowook felt his stomach slightly throbbing painfully.

Yesung was dead –he suffered a coronary heart attack a year ago, when he was thirty seven years old– and though Ryeowook did not expect him to enter the grave so soon, even after all he had done to Ryeowook's untidy life, Ryeowook certainly did not weep for his funeral.

Not even attending his funeral.

Do not send flowers or letters of condolence.

What else would he write? 'Grief, from the secret lover of your late husband?'

Saeun passed the entrance on a curved staircase, then retraced the long corridor, with its magnificent dark-curtained rooms on both sides. Ryeowook followed her closely, and they finally arrived in a sunlit kitchen with windows stretching from floor to ceiling, forming a rear wall and facing another covered terrace. The bright flowers are spread out on a very wide yard.

Ryeowook finally took off his backpack and put it in one of the chairs, with a very large antique desk in the room.

"You should sit down, too," Saeun said.

Better so, thought Ryeowook. He is tired –he climbed more than one bus since leaving Seoul. But the first thing he wanted was to search this house, room by room, and open every door until he found Nathan.

He pulled one of the heavy oak chairs and sat on it.

"Coffee?" Saeun asked. "Tea?"

"Water is enough." Ryeowook replied.

"Soda or ordinary water?"

"Please ordinary water."

Saeun brought him a glass of ice and a bottle of water. While Ryeowook poured it, the woman stood like a solid sink, leaning against the table with her arms folded. "What are you going to do here?" Saeun demanded, as evidence that she had been trying to hold the question patiently.

Ryeowook who would take a sip of water, put the glass back. "I do not know." He answered honestly. Sungmin contacted him by phone a week ago and asked him to come immediately, with very little explanation. 'We have to talk about it directly' he said at the time.

"For me you've made a lot of trouble," Saeun told him, "Without coming here though. What else now."

Ryeowook swallowed. He was thirty one, and he ran one of Seoul's biggest literary agents, dealing with writers, editors, selfish and powerful filmmakers almost daily. Now, sitting in the kitchen of Lee Sungmin, wearing jeans, T-shirts and converse shoes that he has been wearing continuously for forty-eight hours, he felt humiliated, as if he has taken back to college, sitting silently in front of the university dean who was underestimating his abilities.

"Do not make him feel uncomfortable, Saeun." The soft voice of someone interceded from somewhere behind Ryeowook's chair. "I asked him to come, and Ryeowook is very kind to agree to it."

Ryeowook and Saeun both turned around, Ryeowook got up in a rush and nearly dropped his chair. Luckily Saeun's hand moved quickly to hold it.

Sungmin was standing at the door, a very thin man with a thick brown sweater and sandals. Two things from his presence that attracted Ryeowook's attention. First, Sungmin was a beautiful man and second, his head was definitely bald behind the knitting hat he wore.

"Please take care of Nathan," Sungmin said to Saeun. "He fell asleep a few minutes ago, but he's still not used to this house and I'd rather he did not wake up alone."

Saeun looked doubtful, nodded briefly, and looked at Ryeowook sharply then left the kitchen. "Sit down." Sungmin told Ryeowook and walked gracefully toward him.

Ryeowook, who usually gave orders rather than accepting them, immediately obeyed. Sungmin pulled up a chair next to Ryeowook, then sat down with a slow sigh and a slight grimace. "Thank you for coming," he said, holding out his hand. "I'm Lee Sungmin."

Ryeowook shook his hand, realizing that the hand felt like a sheet of paper. "Kim Ryeowook," he replied. His gaze turned to Sungmin's knit hat, then back to the purple eyes ball underneath.

Sungmin smiled thinly. "Yes," he said. "I have cancer."

Ryeowook's heart throbbed at it. "I'm sorry," he said. "What is that...?"

"The final stadium." Sungmin confirmed it with a nod. Tears of sympathy stung Ryeowook's eyes, but he did not let it drip. He did not know Sungmin close enough to cry him.

No doubt his mind was fixed on Nathan.

God, if Sungmin was dying, what would happen to Nathan? Ryeowook lost his mother when he was fifteen. He knows the emptiness and the vain search that is buried by all these things. It’s sick.

Sungmin seemed to be able to read Ryeowook's mind –or at least some of it. He smiled again, and stretched his hand across to squeeze the hand of the man in front of him. "As you know," he said, "my husband is dead. None of us has family. And since you're Nathan's father, I hope ... "

Ryeowook's heart jumped