When I woke up I was in Bobby's bed, he was right beside me, asleep. I sighed, I really was hard on him, the only free day he had he spend at my house with my parents, and the only night of sleep he could have got, he spend taking care of me. I touched his hair, so soft, and slowly caress his face, his lips, it didn't even wake him up, he was probably tired.

Bobby

I opened my eyes when I felt she left the bed, I looked at her back, at her, getting out of the room, probably to eat, perhaps even to leave. I roll on my back and looked at the ceiling, I should have send her home, why did I let her spend the night ? Why did her touch became so important, so calming... I could hear her walking in the living room, washing her hands, opening the fridge, all these sounds were relaxing my soul.
I remembered her look last night, her eyes, so angry and so sad in the same time, like if I had betrayed her, hurt her, I shaked my head, I didn't wanted to feel that again.
My phone started to ring and I picked up yawning.

"Hello...?
-Hi Jiwon? It's me, Jihyun ! You're brother !
-I know who you are, I sighed with a smile, how are you ? And why are you calling the early ?
-You're still asleep ?! It's 10am already ! And I'm fine thank you, what about you ? Tired ?
-I'm fine, I laughed, it's nice to hear you hyung but... why are you calling me ?
-Oh, right, I'm going to see mom and dad next week end, I thought if you have time it would be nice to go together. Minhi is coming with me ~
-Sure... I have to see, I think I have something on friday night and sunday afternoon, but I can come saturday and perhaps even spend the night with you guys... How is Minhi ?
-Awesome ! Minhi is doing great, she is at work right now.  We can't wait to see you there !
-Bobby ? Emma asked, oh... you're on the phone sorry..."

She left the bedroom, her cheeks had gone red, it was cute.

"You're with a girl ? My brother said.
-No I'm not.
-Yes you are ! Little liar ! Is it just some girl ? Is she your girlfriend ? Can I meet her ? Have a picture ? Please ! Is she famous ? Is she one of the Blackpink ?
-No... I sighed, I'll see you on saturday..
-Please tell me ! I want to know ! Jiwooooon please, he begged.
-No ! Goodbye !"

I hanged up with a smile, I'll probably hear more of that on saturday, specially from Minhi, since my step-sister was really worried about me, a "young healthy men" not having any relationships. She had tried to advise me on how to get a girlfriend of my age, I laughed, Jihyun was lucky to have a girlfriend like her. And I was lucky to...

"Can I come in ? Emma asked.
-Yes, I'm sorry it was my brother..
-It's ok, I didn't knew you were awake... Do you want to eat something ?"

She climbed on the bed and slowly approached her face, for a second I thought she was going to kiss me, but she didn't, she just removed my hairs from my face, because we were not aloud to kiss unless it was during . But I wanted to kiss her so hard, I feel her lips on mine, to taste her tongue, bite her a little.. So I grabbed her her and dragged her to me so we could kiss, she climbed on my knees and sat on me, slowly moving, I knew it was the deal, but somehow I hoped we could just have kissed.

Later that day I went to work, I had practice with everyone, Hanbin was late as usually, but the rest of the group was getting a little impatient.

"Where were you ? Chanwoo asked, you're never late !
-I had something to do, I'm sorry... Do we have to do something this weekend ?
-Just the broadcast on sunday, why ?
-I might go visit my family.
-Yes, sure, they don't live far away anyway, I think you will have time,Junhoe said, I might do the same, I miss my mom.
-You really are a mama's sun, Jinhwan said with a laugh, anyway, Hanbin will be late so let's just beggin without him."

We all agreed and started to work, but my mind wasn't at work, and for the first time I understood Hanbin, the only thing that I was able to think about was her, her legs, her hair, her hands, her eyes, hazel eyes...I suddenly bumped in something.

"Bobby ! Junhoe screamed, what the hell are you doing ? You're not supposed to be here !
-Yes, Junhoe are you alright ? Chanwoo asked, Bobby ? Are you even here ?
-Yes.. Sorry Junhoe, I forgot the steps for a minute..
-It's alright, I'm alright, Junhoe said, just... please be more careful.
-Sure, I'm really sorry...
-Let's just keep practicing, YunHyeong said, where did you went last night Bobby ? You didn't went home with Lisa did you ?
-No, she went to her dorm and I went home.
-Hi ! Hanbin said, I'm here !"

We all looked at him, hesitating between laughing or killing him, but he seemed so happy we decided to laugh and start to practice again.
When I get back home I realized it felt empty without her, without people, it wasn't her right ? I sighed, perhaps I should sleep at the doorms with the other tonight... Perhaps I needed company, soon I would see my family, I wouldn't feel this empty...
Then, I saw the note she has left on the bed after leaving.

"My sister's going to tell the truth this weekend, I'll tell you how it went...Have a nice weekend too, and we'll see each other on monday if it's possible, I have to talk to you."

I had to go away from this, from her, we had to end this as soon as possible, but... No,there was no but, I shouldn't have made her a regular, it was a mistake, I wasn't a romantic like Hanbin, but I wasn't as coldhearted as Junhoe, I shouldn't have let her in.

On saturday as early in the morning as possible I drove back to my parent's home, of course Jihyun was already there with Minhi. They both went out of the house to welcome me, they were smiling, Minhi even took me in her arms.

"You stupid kid, why do I have to see you on TV only ? I want to see you in real more often !
-Well I'm too famous for you guys, I laughed, where are mom and dad ?
-Oh, you know mom, already in the garden... and dad's .. just here !"

My father suddenly appeared and took me in his arms before he messed my hair up like he always liked to do.

"Hey Bobby, he said with a smile, have you forgot your old name yet ?
-He better not, my mom said coming at us, I choosed that name and it's a good name.
-I like it too mom, Jiwon is the best name ever, better than Jihyun !
-You're just jealous because I have a girlfriend and you don't, or, is that right ? You actually do have someone in your life don't you ? Jihyun said with a gringe.
-No I don't... It was just a ... friend.
-A very good friend then, my father said, how did you met her ? Are you going to introduce her to us ?
-She's just... some girl... anyway what's with the family gathering ?
-Oh, right, Minhi said, she looked quite excited, we have an annoucement to make ! Mom, dad, Jiwon...
-Can I say it can I say it ? Jihyun asked as excited as her.
-Go ahead love.
-We're getting married !
-OH my god !!! My mom screamed, is this true ? You proposed ? And she said yes ?
-Totally !
-She said yes to you ? My father asked no convinced.
-Did you forced her or something ? I add.
-Shut up, they are stupid, my mom said hugging Minhi, I'm so happy ! I waited for this moment for so long !
-You don't deserve her, my father said, but I'm really happy for you two... And relieved someone's going to take care of my brainless son."

I hugged Minhi, then I hugged Jihyun, they were both shinning in happiness, they wanted to have the wedding in November before it get too cold, but they were sure it would be snowing, so it would be romantic, and they were planning on going to Russia for their honeymoon, we listen to them planning the wedding, talking about the proposal, her parents, how he first secretly asked her parents the permission to marry their daughter.. How they had a lot of things to do, they seemed so happy, and for a moment, I felt a little jealous, they were together for six years, they never doubted each other, they always seemed happy, only fought to better go back together. Their love, my parent's love, Hanbin and Eunae's love, why was everyone around me so good at loving.
The only love I ever knew broke my heart, made me think something was wrong with me, made my thought I wasn't worthy of anything, was I the only one to think love was hard, tough, exhausting, painful... When I was looking at my brother, I couldn't find sadness, tiredness, or pain.. Only pure joy and adoration.

Emma

I was standing beside Lucy, she was pale, terrified, but I hold her hand tight under the table, just as Hongmin was doing on the other hand. He was as pale as Lucy, but he was here, and he loved her, that thought was making Lucy stronger. She let go of our hands and stood up.

"Mom, dad..
-Yes honey ? My mom said, you really look sick... You should go to see a doctor.
-I already have, and Emma has covered for me for long enough.
-What are you talking about ? My mom asked.
-Mom, dad, Emma's not pregnant, I am. She took the blame for me because I wasn't ready to tell you, when you found out even Hongmin didn't knew and.. I freacked out... I shouldn't have let my little sister be blamed for me... I'm so sorry for that.. It just happened and I want to keep the baby, I didn't wanted do disappoint you mom... Dad I'm so sorry... I ..I failed you and I... She was crying so much that she couldn't even talk.
-We shouldn't have lied, I said standing up to hug Lucy, but we did and we're sorry, Lucy is smart, she is the smartest, if someone can have a baby it's her, I'm sure you will be a great mother Lucy, I put my forehead against hers, I love you... and this baby is going to be so loved..."

Even my mom started to cry, and my father looked away, embarassed by his own tears, somehow I guess, they knew I wasn't really pregnant, and the were glad Lucy was, for the first time she wasn't the perfect daughter, and, looking like a human , she also looked fragile, so I hold her tighed while my parents were trying to calm down.

"I'm so sorry too, Hongmin said, I always thought about proposing to Lucy some day, and to have kids with her, but I never thought it would happen so fast, I'm sorry I'm not worthy of her yet.. I wish I could prove you I can take care of her and our baby but I can't... I can't prove it, but I promise I won't ever treat them badly, I will take care of them for the rest of my life, please forgive me, stepmom, stepdad...Hongmin falled on his knees, please don't be mad at her, take it on me, I'm the only responsible for this...
-Well it takes two to make a baby... My dad said, but you are both apologizing to us, since.. we thought Emma was pregnant we had time to... Think of this situation... and yours is quite better than Emma's...
-You are even willing to get married,my mom said, but.. you're still so young, Lucy doesn't work yet.... And she won't be able to do so before a while...Sweetie, you realize how hard this is going to be for you ? This is for the rest of your life, a baby doesn't just... grow and go away, even when it will be fourty, and you will be sixty-four, it will still be your baby...
-I know, Lucy said, but I love that baby already, I can't... I can't help myself...I will work hard, so I make sure he or she has a wonderful life, just like you did for us...
-Thank god it's not Emma tho, My father said with a giggle.
-Hey, I said with a laugh, I'm glad it's Lucy too... You're better at the mom thing.."

She laughed even is she was still crying and went to my parents arms, I saw in their eyes, she was still their baby too, and her baby will be their baby too... It's just the way things go... Hongmin hugged Lucy too, even if he still looked scared, he was happy to be here, and I was looking at this big family, would I ever introduce someone to them ? I suddenly realized how lonely I always was, it never bothered me but...ending up alone wasn't the brightest future I had imagined... Even if my family was messed up, everyone's family was like that... I had to give someone a chance to be a part of this... But I shaked my head from left to right, it wasn't the right time yet.. It was Lucy's time to shine, to be coddled by everyone, my time would come later... So I still had to ... say goodbye to Bobby on monday.

To be continued ~