“So spill!” Inna remarks one day during one of the many meet-ups the two best friends have – this time, they just decided to hang out in Jieun’s house.

“Spill what?” she pretends to not know what the older one requests.

“What’s the deal between you and G-Dragon?”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Jiyong oppa,” she affirms.

“If there’s nothing going on between you two, why is he texting you a lot?” She notices the quite frequent number of times the dongsaeng checks her phone to read whatever it is the guy texts her.

“He’s just consulting with me about the rap lyrics.”

“Is that all there is between you guys? Just someone you’re collaborating with?” That’s the million dollar question.

“We’re just friends if that’s what you want to know.” Jieun affirms. And it’s true – they are just friends. Sure they are texting each other more than what mere colleagues would and even though they do text things that are not necessarily work-related, they are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Okay, if you say so,” Inna answers unconvincingly. ‘She probably hasn’t realize it yet,’ she thought to herself as she observes how her younger friend, probably unconsciously, is radiating with smiles as she replies back his texts. “I just thought that you should be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

Upon hearing it, Jieun puts her phone down and hugs the other. “Unnie,” she says in that innocent charming tone she possesses, with a smile plasters on her face. Inna unnie is just looking out for her, she couldn’t blame her for being overprotective over her. It was only just a few months ago that Kiha and her called it quits, and it’s not like Jieun is completely healed over the breakup but… “I appreciate the concern, really. But I’m not dating Kwon Jiyong.”

“I know… but do you have feelings for him?” Inna asks with worry in her eyes while tightening the hug. She’s heard stories from her colleagues about Jiyong’s rendezvous with numerous girls whenever he is on break with a certain Japanese model – how the was ‘amazing!’ as quoted by the females, but that’s all there is to it. Just . No strings attached. She recalled seeing some of the girls crying over him when they thought that it would mean something more. But that’s not the case.

Jieun stiffens for a few seconds, replaying that question in her head. Does she have feelings for the guy? “I don’t know,” voicing out her thought. “I mean we get along well and I do like him as a person. I’m just not sure if it’s in a romantic sense or not.”

“Okay… but just be careful. It’s a common knowledge that he is a player, Jieun ah. Heck, he even cheated on his ex before.”

“Don’t worry, unnie,” reassuring Inna. “Besides, what are the chances that he is interested in me?”

*

Today is one of those days where thoughts about Kiko manage to flood his mind. Their first kiss, their first night together, their first fight, their last fight, their last kiss, those last words… he replays it all inside his head. And he hates going through it. And he hates that he couldn’t switch those emotions off. And he hates that he still could not get over her even when they have been over for two years.

Regret. That was the main emotion he feels as of now. Regret for saying those things to her on that night. Regret for making her cry on that night. Regret for being a coward – for not consoling her, for not making it right with her on that night. He s everything up with her. The worst thing about it all is that the last time they broke up was not the first time he did it. He repeated the mistake he swore not to do again the first time he did it. And he did it over and over again throughout their on-again off-again relationship.

Normally since recently, he would ask Jinri to come over to fill up this void but for some reason, he doesn’t feel like doing it now. ‘It’s not going to fix anything,’ he thought to himself. And he is surprised to have that thought (since when did he grow this conscience?). Maybe it’s cause deep down, he knew that Jinri is slowly becoming serious with one of the guys she casually dated. What was his name again? Whoever he is (he doesn’t bother remembering his name – it’s not worth his time), there is a huge possibility that she is going to be in a proper relationship with this guy. And he does not want to get in the way. He knows from first-hand experience what happens when your significant other is having an affair with another person. Things get messy. He recalls one time when Kiko found out that he was sleeping with somebody else through a song that he wrote. Yep, it ends up being one of the top three classic Jiyong-Kiko fights.

He was so caught up with his balls of emotions that all of a sudden, he hears his door bell ringing. He curses whoever it is that is making him get out of bed. He heads to the door and sees from his front door CCTV that it is a delivery man with a refrigerator. He is pretty sure that he did not order any refrigerator nor does he need a refrigerator. He opens the door and greets a hello.

“Hello, Kwon Jiyong? Your refrigerator is here,” says the deliveryman. “Where would you like me to put it?”

“Ah hmmm, why don’t you bring it in first?” he kindly instructs.

It is probably from his parents. God knows why though – as if he and his noona need one. It’s not like he cooks much at home, he prefers ordering takeout or eating out to doing the very domestic thing. He leads the deliveryman to put it somewhere in his living room, close to the kitchen. He could probably put some drinks or food that he would provide for his guests whenever they come over.

Soon, he bids the deliveryman goodbye and comes to observe the new refrigerator. Seriously, did he order a refrigerator? Maybe when he was drunk? Or maybe his noona actually ordered it? Who knows right? He shrugs his shoulders as he opens the refrigerator. He was expecting it to be empty inside (since it’s new) so he is really surprised when he sees that it is full of sojus. Not just any sojus though: there are bottles and bottles of Chamisul soju with his face as its labels. It is not even just 5 or 10 bottles of it – it is enough to last him a year.

Now he is sure that it is not from his parents. It also could not be from any of the members or so – it’s not like there is a special occasion or his birthday coming up soon or so. It could possibly be given by Seunghyun though, that is his main guess. But then again, that guy only has a particular taste for wines so it is perhaps not him.

Then, he notices a small card at the bottom shelf of the refrigerator addressing to him. He opens the card and sees that it is written by Jieun: ‘Hi oppa. Just want to say thank you so much for agreeing to help me with Palette. Words could not express my gratitude for such help. With that, here is a gift for you: one year worth of supply of soju. I hope you like it and drink them well before your enlistment! –Jieun’

He could feel the hole in his heart starting to get smaller. He feels touched. Who knew that right now, they have become close. They have crossed paths with each other so many times in their career but only after more than five years gone by, they are finally friends. He remembers one of the early times he saw her: she was still just a teenager and at that time, she had just made it big with ‘Good Day’. He recalls the tanned version of herself and her hairstyle being that of two side ponytails with a short fringe. He recalls her well-known crush for his best friend, Youngbae – him and the other members used to about it especially that one time when she kissed him on the cheeks.

Fast forward to few years later when they both shared a stage for KCON in LA, she has transformed from that young naïve girl to a woman. Then, about a year later, they meet again for the Infinite Challenge Music Festival and her beauty just began to blossom more and more. She was, and still is, stunning. No wonder most of the guys he knows who know her all express their love for her.

He admits that at that time, he had shown a small interest for her. She came at the right time – he had just broken up with Kiko and he was looking for someone to distract himself with. The only problem was that she did not return any of his subtle advances. He put on his charms whenever they had small interactions or so, but it seems like she was unfazed by all of it. Later on, he found out (from none other than Seungri who seems to know everyone’s business) that it is all because she already had someone in her life. So he gave up.

Maybe there was a silver lining to all of it. Maybe she is not meant to be someone he just screwed himself with – she does not deserve that. She is better than that. If she were to be someone he was messing around with at that time, there is a high chance that their relationship is not like how it is now. He likes the playful but genuine nature of their friendship. They have been texting each other randomly whenever they feel the need to just joke around or open up about things with each other. It feels so effortless and easy, their friendship, that it almost feels like it is too good to be true.

One thing for sure is that he does not want to mess this up because he knows that he will really regret it if he does. Cause she is a keeper.