Onew was all finished packing. It was time. He thought about how lonely his mother was going to be but that thought vanished quickly, when he remembered that boys hand on him a few months back. He has been fighting this thought over and over again in his head. He wondered why he had blushed. Maybe it was just the stress of the day but he was not stressed up until that moment. These worries were completely out of character for Onew. He was not one to make a big deal over anything really. He was very laid back and it was hard to make him unhappy. So why was this bothering him so much. He had never really liked anybody boy or girl, so he just assumed he was straight and he would just have to find the right girl to be attracted to her. But now a boy he had never seen before was making him question everything. Thoughts raced through his head when his mom came in the room and said "Ready?"

Onew was completely spaced out, so his mother said it again but louder.

"Oh, yeah i'm ready" He said closing his suitcase.

"Are you okay honey? You have been acting different lately."

"No- I mean I don't- I am just-" She was worried about him. He was spacing out all the time and hardly eating. 

She sat him and herself down on his bed and said "Just talk to me."

"Well the day we went to the interview, while you were looking at the acceptance letter a boy came up to me."

"Did he say something mean? I will end him!"

"No he gave me his phone number and dragged his fingers on my back and said we should go out and-."

"Wait, so he was flirting with you?''

"I guess so."

"Well so what? I did not think uality mattered to you"

"It doesn't but mom I--" He was getting heated and embarrased. "I blushed"

"You blushed?''

"I blushed! I don't blush! I have never blushed in my life! Why did I blush?"

"That is what has been bothering you"

"Yes"

"Blushing?"

"It wasn't the blushing per se but what if I like boys?"

"Then you like boys. So what?"

"It is not that simple. What if I want to get married one day?''

"Marry a boy!'' This thought had never crossed his mind.

"Can two guys even get married?''

"Why not?"

"Ok well what if I want kids? Two guys can't have kids together!"

"Adopt. Artificial insemenation. Look Jinki, it is not a big deal. Boy or girl as long as you are happy does it really matter?"

"It does matter" He whispered. His mother was saddened that he could not accept what was in front of him. She really did not care who JInki loved. He was still her JInki either way. But he did not see it that way. 

With nothing left to convince JInki, she just said "Let's go."

It was a miserable car ride as neither said anything. Onew was too upset and his mother was too disheartened. When they finally got there, they walked in his assigned dorm and said "Lee Jinki" to the man at the front desk. "Ah, you are in room 203 with a boy named Lee Taemin. He is not here yet but you can go on up."

They made their way to the room and set his stuff down. Two beds were in the room. They were a little too close for comfort. Onew was not excited to be rooming with a boy. Right now boys were the last thing he wanted to think about. "Look at my little Onew, all grown up! What am I going to do without you?" his mom said.

Onew froze. Had his mother just called him Onew? She had never called him that. Never. Everyone else called him Onew. The name Jinki was just reserved for his mother to call him and his teachers because that is what all the papers said but that was different. Hearing his mother say Onew twisted his heart in a bad way. "Did you just call me Onew?"

"I figured you are a grown up now and you can choose what you want to be called."

"I want to be called Jinki, by you at least. That is my name for you only. You know the real me so you can call me my real name!" He was getting frustrated.

"Calm down Jinki." Hearing this did calm him down and he hugged his mother and started to cry. He felt like such a baby. "I will miss you mama!"

She lifted his head and kissed his forehead and wiped away his tears. "Hey, I am not leaving until after the family dinner so no crying yet. Got it?" He shook his head but more tears fell. His mother very rarely saw her happy, bubbly Jinki cry, and it killed her. She hated it, absolutely hated it. She wanted to cry too but she had to be strong for Jinki.