exhaustion

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Eunsook hisses when she updates her work list and finds another 2 patients on it. There’s an hour left of her shift and she was really hoping that she had finished today’s work. That, however, is obviously not the case.

She lets her hand through her hair and messes up her ponytail a little before she grabs her phone so she can call the orderly.

“Hey, it’s Eunsook,” she says the second the call is picked up. “Can you bring a patient to me? Yeah, sure, it’s Shim Changmin, 180288. Haha yeah, he’s admitted to A2 and he needs to come to ultrasound. Thanks.”

She sighs when she hangs up and turns back to the computer so she can read what exactly they have to do.

Eunsook had hoped she would have had a less stressful day but today has turned out just as stressful as the rest of the week. She’s a radiographer and when she does ultrasound, she’s just the doctor’s assistant. Her job today is easy but the time she spends waiting on the doctor is frustrating and it leaves her in a state of stress she can’t do much to relieve.

She stands up when she has read the referral and starts fixing up the room so it’s ready for the patient. She cleans the ultrasound machine and puts in Changmin’s details and when she’s done she has spent 3 minutes and the patient still hasn’t arrived.

She’s tapping her feet to a silent beat and she bites her tongue, eyes following the watch every 30 second as she counts down to when she’s off.

Eunsook hates leaving patients behind for the evening shift because it’s unfair to everybody if she hasn’t finished but she hadn’t expected so many extra patients today outside of the normal schedule either.

When the orderly arrives with Changmin, the two men both smile at her. Eunsook sends them a smile as well, thanks the orderly for bringing the patient and then closes the door.

“Hello,” she says in her sweet voice, no signs of stress or exhaustion showing. Changmin smiles back at her. He looks just as exhausted as she is, but his is warranted, diseases take its toll on bodies.

“Hey,” he answers.

“So, we’re going to scan your stomach,” she says and watches as he nods. “Your liver and your gall bladder, correct?”

Changmin nods again.

“Yes, I believe so.”

She smiles a little and turns to the machine.

“I need to hear your personal number,” she says and Changmin lists off his birthday and the last four numbers that compromises his personal number.

When Eunsook turns around to look at him again, she quickly explains that she isn’t going to do the scan but she’ll call the doctor. It takes 30 seconds to call the doctor and another 7 minutes before the man actually arrives at the scene despite his “coming” on the phone.

As the light dims and the doctor takes over while he scans, Eunsook turns back to her computer, updating the work schedule, the last patient staring mockingly at her from the screen. God, she wishes she could make them disappear.

It’s been a horrible day, she’s been busy all day and has been thrown into examinations she has never done alone before. But even without the experience, she has done well. She had hoped the last hour would be kind to her but no such luck. She frowns a little and tries not to fall asleep as the dimmed lights start to get to her.

5 minutes later she hears the doctor stand up and Eunsook quickly hurries from her seat in front of her computer to the patient’s side so she can help him clean his stomach from the ultrasound gel and talk to him once again. She calls the orderly so he can bring Changmin back to the ward and then turns to the doctor that’s waiting impatiently for her.

“When’s the next patient? We need to do a drainage,” he says and Eunsook stumbles a little.

“B-but..” she says. She’s positive she hasn’t heard anything about a drainage. “The referral says it’s just to see if there is enough fluid to drain later on,” she says and the doctor eyes her with a sharp look.

“It’s a drainage,” he says, end of discussion. Eunsook wants to frown. That’s not what the referral says, it really isn’t, and it most certainly wasn’t what the referring doctor said either. “Can you call the patient down?”

If it wasn’t 45 minutes before she’s off and had she not been so patient, she would have argued with the doctor but instead she just agrees with a sigh. She calls the orderly once again, only to get a call 3 minutes later that the patient has just gotten a medical cleansing and can’t get to the radiology department until at least 20 minutes later. Eunsook gives up.

The doctor finds her 5 minutes later and frowns when she tells him the patient cannot come within the next 20 minutes (or maybe she exaggerates and says 30 minutes because she really doesn’t want to deal with the doctor, the drainage that shouldn’t be a drainage and the stress) and that she isn’t going to start the procedure for a drainage 10 minutes before she’s off.

The doctor complains about her and the patient as if Eunsook can change the fact that the patient just had a cleansing and tries to joke that he’ll just have to stay longer so he can do the drainage but if there is one thing Eunsook knows, it is that she isn’t staying a minute longer than she needs to today.

She gets off at 3 PM exactly and hurries home, the weather warm and the sun shining from a blue sky. She’s so exhausted, however, that when she unlocks their apartment, she walks directly into the living room and lays on the couch. 5 minutes later she decides to relocate to her bed so she doesn’t fall asleep on the couch.

Eunsook falls asleep quickly, exhaustion overtaking her body. She’s 28 and she really shouldn’t be so exhausted because of her work.

She loves her work but her working conditions are so bad that they slowly tear the joy away. She knows her co-workers are unhappy as well, everybody exhausted and tired with how many patients there are and how few they are at work. They’re 5 at work to the entire department and there’s a full program, plenty of patients and not enough time.

She’s awakened by her alarm an hour later before she decides that it, she needs another hour.

The next time Eunsook is awakened, it’s by the press of her boyfriend’s lips against her forehead.

“Are you awake?” he asks in a whisper and Eunsook frowns a little, a small headache pressing against her temple. He smiles and gently removes her messy bangs from her forehead.

“How was work?” he asks and Eunsook rubs her eyes and stretches her arms as she sits up in bed so she can look at her boyfriend.

“Horrible,” she answers. Kibum sends her a kind smile and kisses her cheek again.

“I’m going to cook some tomato soup, is that okay?”

She nods and gets off of the bed with him. Eunsook joins him in the kitchen, marks from the linen on her cheeks and Kibum smiles fondly at her before he starts cooking.

“I’m sorry, today has been so exhausting,” she says and then she relays the day in all its details to her listening boyfriend.

When she’s done, a burden has been lifted from her chest and she stands so she can set the table. Kibum shakes his head, though, and points towards their living room.

“I’ve had a busy day as well. I just want to cuddle with my girlfriend and watch movies and fall asleep on the couch,” he says and Eunsook snorts a little before she leans up to press a kiss on his lips.

“I love you,” she says and Kibum just gently pushes her towards the living room with their plates so he can follow with the soup.

author's notes

I'm sorry if this is hard to follow. It was written after two infuriating days of working with the same doctor and I was so exhausted both days that I just crashed immediately afterwards. I'm sorry if it makes little sense what with routines and such as it's all based on my own department. 

And I love my work, make no mistakes. But damn, that week was horrible and that doctor was so stubborn, decidedly not listening to anything I said, wanting everything his way even though he was just a stand-in and not at all in charge. Anyway, yes, it was stressful and Eunsook had to suffer like me.