clumsy love

I’m always the one who doesn’t understand

Jinki stumbles over his feet and almost drops the books in his arms. Taemin chuckles and bends down to pick up a paper that Jinki has dropped when he stumbled.

“Here,” he says and puts it on top of Jinki’s books. Jinki smiles.

“Thanks!”

Jinki turns towards Minho and Jonghyun who are sitting on the desks in front of them. Minho sends him a wide smile and Jonghyun tilts his head in question.

“What are you carrying?” he asks and Jinki slowly puts the books down on his desk.

“It’s the architecture books for history,” Jinki says. Minho leans over and grabs one of them and frowns a little. Taemin looks over his shoulder and frowns as well.

“But this is victorian architecture?” Taemin says and Jonghyun stands from where he’s sitting and grabs another book. Jinki looks at his friends in confusion.

“Yes?” he says when neither of them say anything.

“We’re writing about classicism,” Minho helpfully supplies and Jinki frowns.

“No, we’re not?” he says but Jonghyun nods a little.

“Yes, we are…”

There’s silence in the classroom while Jinki processes the information. He sighs and plops down on his chair and buries his head in his arms. Why is it always him that misunderstands the information? Taemin pats his shoulder reassuringly.

I arrive on the wrong day

Jonghyun opens the door with wide eyes. Jinki smiles and lifts the bottle of vodka he’s carrying to show Jonghyun. He’s dressed in his best clothes, a pink shirt and a skinny jeans. Jonghyun is dressed in a wife-beater and grey slacks.

“Jinki?” he says and sounds confused. Jinki frowns a little when he notices the apartment is silent. There should be people and loud music. They’re having a party. Jonghyun is awfully sloppy dressed for a party.

“What are you doing here?” Jonghyun asks and Jinki shakes his head slightly and returns to reality.

“Dorm party?” he says. When the silence stretches on, Jinki begins doubting. “Right?” he asks in a small voice. Jonghyun shakes his head a little.

“Next weekend, Jinki,” Jonghyun says and sends Jinki a small smile. Jinki deflates and looks towards the floor.

“Oh,” he says.

“I’m sorry,” Jonghyun says. Jinki shakes his head a little and looks up with a wide, fake smile.

“No, it’s just me! I’m clumsy and all. You know. Ha ha, I’ll just come again next weekend. See you!”

Jinki leaves before he can embarrass himself further but when he turns the corner and steps into the elevator he bangs his head against the elevator wall. Stupid Jinki, stupid. Always the one to get the date wrong.

I cannot dance without destroying something

The music is loud and people are drunk. Taemin is trying to convince Jinki to dance with him. Jinki isn’t drunk enough to dance yet, though and he gently declines. Taemin pouts but it doesn’t work. Taemin is elegant and captivating on a dance floor. Jinki, on the other hand, is clumsy and looks like a beached whale when he tries.

He turns to look towards the hallway and almost chokes in his sip of beer. There, in the doorway, stands Kibum. Kibum is beautiful, confident, graceful and Jinki’s long-term crush. If only Jinki wasn’t so shy, he would’ve spoken to him, but there is no way Jinki deserves to even be in the same company as Kibum. Taemin eyes him and laughs when he notices Jinki’s frozen expression.

Jinki tears his eyes away and tries not to stare at Kibum throughout the evening.

An hour later, Taemin tries again and this time convinces Jinki to dance. They’re dancing in the living room, waving their arms around to the music together with a few girls.

Jinki is laughing and having a good time, right until his hand accidentally pushes a glass vase from its place on the shelf. It falls to the floor and cracks in multiple pieces. The girls jump away to avoid getting splinters in their legs and Jinki stops dancing and crouches to the floor.

As he picks up the pieces, he bumps into the bookcase and a potted plant falls to the floor as well. It doesn’t break but dirt spills everywhere.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he repeats as he cuts himself on a piece of glass from the vase. Taemin grabs his shoulders and gently but firmly guides him away from the living room so he doesn’t cause more accidents. Jinki feels useless and leaves the party 5 minutes later with a last apology to Jonghyun.

I have 14 crosses on my hands

“Remember to pick up milk after school,” Jinki mumbles and looks at a red cross on his hand. “Remember to pick up milk after school, remember to pick up milk after school.”

“What are you doing?” someone asks and stops Jinki in his spiel. He looks up and takes a step back so he doesn’t walk directly into Kibum. Kibum sends him a curious gaze.

“Remembering,” Jinki answers and blushes slightly.

“What are you remembering?” Kibum asks curiously and Jinki frowns as he tries to remember what he was remembering.

“Oh , I’ve forgotten,” he says and bites his lower lip. This is not good. He knew it was important because there’s a red cross on his hand and red crosses mean it’s the things he can’t forget. But he has forgotten. Jinki has no idea what he was supposed to remember. He blames it on his crush on Kibum. Kibum just chuckles.

“Hey Jinki, remember we’re going to work on the history project after classes,” Minho says when he passes them and Jinki nods a little. He fumbles with his bag before he finds a pen and puts a blue cross on his hand next to the red one. He’ll figure out what he has forgotten later. Kibum just smiles gently.

“Jinki, I was kind of thinking… I’m having trouble with the physics project? Do you think you can help me? Tomorrow?” Jinki doesn’t have to think twice before he nods and sends Kibum a smile of his own.

“Sure, tomorrow is fine, good, yes. I’ll remember!” He puts another cross on his hand and smiles before he hurries past Kibum when he notices that he’s already late to his next class. He tries to ignore the heat in his cheeks and his beating heart.

I have food stuck in my teeth

Jinki is eating lunch with Jonghyun and Taemin. Helping Kibum with physics had been harder than he had thought it to be. Not because the topic had been particularly difficult, but because Kibum is so distracting. Jinki is sure he has made a fool out of himself but he hasn’t heard rumours out of the usual so he hopes Kibum is kind enough to just leave him alone and let him live with his crush in loneliness.

“Jinki?”

Jinki looks up in confusion and frowns at Taemin and Jonghyun who both discreetly point to someone that stands behind him. When he turns around he gets eye contact with Kibum. Kibum smiles and Jinki automatically feels his lips move into a smile on their move. His heart beats in his chest and he hopes he can get through this conversation without embarrassing himself too much.

“Do you think you can help me with physics tomorrow as well? I’m just too stupid, I guess.”

Kibum shrugs a little and Jinki’s heart melts. He’s unable to answer verbally, Kibum is just too beautiful, and he nods instead. Kibum sends him another smile while he thanks Jinki for his kindness. Jinki bites his lower lip and smiles again when he whispers a bye towards Kibum’s back.

When he turns around he sends his friends a smile. Taemin thins his lips and Jonghyun gently points to his teeth. Jinki widens his eyes in panic and lets his finger over his teeth. When he removes his finger, he finds a small piece of lettuce and groans. Great. So much for not embarrassing himself.

I buy useless stuff on the internet

Minho raises an eyebrow.

“What is this, Jinki?” he asks and Jinki turns to look at what Minho is holding. It’s a small transparent piece formed like a gummy bear with a skeleton inside.

“Oh, it’s my anatomy gummy bear,” Jinki says as if it’s the most normal thing ever. Kibum bursts into laughter and takes it from Minho.

“What do you use it for?” he asks curiously and Jinki shrugs.

“Nothing. I just think it’s cool,” Jinki says and smiles, chest warm at the sight of Kibum’s smile. Minho sighs and shakes his head.

“You spend too much money on ,” he says and Jinki frowns a little.

“It’s my money,” Jinki defends and Minho just raises his hands in surrender. Kibum puts the skeleton gummy bear back into Jinki’s pencil case. When the class begins, Jinki finds the small skeleton and looks at it with a frown. It’s not that useless, right? It’s cool, he was justified in buying it, right?

Then he sighs. Minho is right, Jinki always spends his money on junk on the internet.

I drink too much on the first date

There is only one thing Jinki has promised himself when Kibum invites him on a date: don’t embarrass yourself. That is easier said than done, though, and Jinki has tried hard all evening. He double-checked the date and the time, he spent an eternity in the bathroom, erasing crosses from his hands. He has barely eaten anything in fear of food getting stuck in his teeth and he has adamantly refused dancing so he doesn’t destroy anything.

Kibum is smiling at him kindly and Jinki is so in love. It’s kind of unfair because Jinki wants to be his best but there is no way he’ll ever be on Kibum’s level. He still has a hard time believing that Kibum actually confessed and asked him to go on a date, but he will take everything. Jinki is in too deep.

It’s a little awkward because first dates are supposed to be awkward and Jinki thinks it’s normal. He can’t change the weather but he still believes the slight drizzle is his fault, but they have fun nonetheless.

The date goes without accidents until they go to a small bar to get a beer. A beer becomes two and Jinki likes drinking because it eases his nervousness. Drinking too much, however, is not good and soon Jinki is a little more than tipsy. He’s drunk and in love and it’s a bad combination.

“I love you,” Jinki slurs to Kibum and Kibum just snorts and grabs his hand so he can intertwine their fingers.

“You’re drunk, Jinki,” Kibum says and Jinki nods to confirm.

“But I still love you.” Jinki smiles wide and Kibum just shakes his head a little.

Being drunk on the first date, however, turns catastrophic when Jinki suddenly vomits onto Kibum’s shoes as they’re waiting for the bus to get back to campus. Jinki is mortified and wishes the world would swallow him but he’s also painfully aware of Kibum’s facial expression.

“Oh my god,” he says. Kibum tries to remove some of the vomit with leaves from a tree next to bus stop. Jinki isn’t sure he knows what to do.

I burn the food

How one date becomes more, Jinki isn’t sure. It does, though and Jinki only falls more in love. His crush has turned into deep feelings and his drunken confession on their first date is not enough to explain what he really feels for Kibum. He still doesn’t understand what Kibum finds so charming in him, but Kibum takes every accident with a smile. Jinki is grateful and it only makes him try even harder for Kibum. He doesn’t want Kibum to leave him.

Jinki is pouring red wine into two glasses when he hears the doorbell ring. With a smile he walks to open the door and finds Kibum on the other side. Kibum leans in to press his lips to Jinki and Jinki drowns in their kiss.

It isn’t until the fire alarm sounds and a smell of burnt food spreads in the apartment that they pull apart. Black smoke follows the smell and Jinki bites his lower lip in panic before he hurries into his apartment.

“!” he says and Kibum follows him. The pot is smoking heavily and the steak has turned into coal on the pan. Jinki is waving his hands to waft the smoke away. Kibum shakes his head and backhugs Jinki so he can turn off the stove.

“Turn off the stove first, babe,” he says and Jinki blushes in embarrassment.

“I can try again!” he says when Kibum helps him put the pot and the pan away from heat. Kibum just shakes his head.

“Order some pizza. It’s fine.” Jinki sighs a little.

“I’m sorry,” he says and looks towards the floor. Kibum presses a kiss to Jinki’s cheek. “It’s okay.”

I drop your phone in the toilet

“!” Jinki whispers and stares at the electronic device in the toilet. Dropping his own phone in the toilet is a common occurrence and Jinki is used to it, but this is not his own phone - this is Kibum’s new phone. Jinki had borrowed it so he could hook it up to the radio and listen to the music on Kibum’s phone while he showered but an exaggerated hand movement had sent it towards the floor and Jinki had in his attempt to catch it dropped it into the toilet.

“What's happening, babe?” Kibum asks from the other side of the door. Jinki is standing in the bathroom, staring at the phone. When time starts again, he dives his hand into the water and pulls it out. He taps it off with paper towels but the screen is black and it doesn’t turn on. .

“Uh, babe,” Jinki shouts from the bathroom and unlocks the door. Kibum looks inside and blinks when he finds his boyfriend , his phone placed on the table on top of multiple paper towels. “Do we have uncooked rice?”

Kibum understands and frowns a little. Jinki cowers and looks at him apologetically.

“Yes, give it to me, I’ll put it in rice.” Jinki hands over the phone guiltily and Kibum leaves the bathroom.

Jinki hates being clumsy. He hates that Kibum suffers because of it. He plops down on the toilet and buries his face in his hands. Jinki only looks up when he hears footsteps and the door opens again. Kibum kneels in front of him and puts his hands on Jinki’s knees and Jinki realises he’s still . Kibum chuckles a little and reaches up to kiss him. When he lets go, Kibum lets his fingers dance down Jinki’s chest.

“You’re forgiven,” Kibum whispers. Jinki presses their lips together again. He’s the luckiest man alive.

Late again 

“Don’t you get tired of his clumsiness at times?” Minho asks and eats a chip. Kibum shrugs a little and takes a sip of his beer.

“It’s charming, though, don’t you think?”

Jonghyun snorts and reaches out towards the grapes.

“Did you really fall in love with him because of it?” he asks and Kibum shakes his head.

“Of course not. But I think it makes him cute, so I guess it’s just a plus.”

Taemin rolls his eyes.

“You guys are disgustingly in love.”

Then Jinki bursts in the front door. He looks like he’s been running and his jacket is wet with rain.

“Am I late?” he asks and frowns. Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin nods and Jinki sighs heavily. Kibum gets up from his place on the couch so he can meet Jinki in the hallway and wrap his arms around his shoulders.

“Hey babe, glad you decided to join us.”

author's notes

Okay, this is inspired by a Danish song and that's probably why the English titles sound so ... awkward. Argh, I hope it's not too bad. >.<' The song is about being clumsy and just generally embarrassing oneself. 

It shows Onkey's relationship developing slowly despite Jinki's clumsiness. It's kind of cute. Kibum finds it hella charming. The rest of SHINee don't understand.