When the Door starts to Open

Youngji lift her suitcases, helped by her manager and put them inside the car’s trunk. Then, she hopped on to the car and put on her seatbelt. The driver came in, and also her manager; sat beside her and started to check Youngji’s schedule from her tablet right after she put on her seatbelt. Briefly the car drove off for the airport.

“Are you sure not leaving something at home?”

“Yes, I’ve packed everything I need.”

“Passport?”

“Checked!”

“Ok, good; because I don’t think we can go back now, or we’ll be late.”

Youngji yawned. Her eyes were still heavy because of her sleepiness. She spent like an hour to pack all of her things, right after she arrived home from filming a variety program called Play Bingo! at two in the morning and had just laid her head for two and a half hours before Jackson’s call woke her up. 

She had to fly to Hongkong at the moment, because the fashion company she represented to; FIRST International, would hold events for the launching of their new fashion products, and Youngji as their Korean model icon for their product was invited to the events, so did Jackson as their original icon. They held bunch of events which Youngji would join to such as press conference for their product launching with the designers and the director, the fashion show, the catalog photo shoot and filming their commercial, and of course she would do all of them together with Jackson. So basically she would spend her five days in Hongkong mostly with Jackson.

Youngji opened her eyes while sighing, and this time was harder because her manager unnie stopped from reading texts on her phone and turned her head toward Youngji.

“Youngji-ah,” Manager unnie called, “what’s wrong?”

“Why, unnie?” Youngji answered, “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look and sound okay.”

“I’m just tired. I slept at four before I woke up at six-thirty this morning.”

Her manager didn’t easily believe that. As she knew, Youngji isn’t that type of person who whining about her tiredness.

“Are you sure, you are just tired? You don’t have any other things that bother you?” Manager unnie asked. She actually knew why Youngji looked worry this time, unlike when they went abroad previously.

Youngji stared outside the car window blankly. Under the wintry air and the sky had born grey clouds since December came, people walked around on the street, wearing their warm and thick coat, earmuffs, and scarf; anything that made them warm. Inside the car was warm but once they stepped out the car Youngji could imagine how her cheek would suddenly feel cold and the chill air stab her nose in every breath she takes.

She was enjoying the warm blanket over her while her mind wandered around the thought about Jackson. Ah… Jackson. He’s so worrisome, always do whatever he wanna do. Youngji said to herself.

It’s been three week after the last time they met. And after that, there was no contact with him, no text, no call, no nothing, until this morning. He called and said something she didn’t know what to response. Youngji couldn’t even understand how Jackson could be so honest with his feeling. Well… he is basically an open book, but… blurting something like that when they didn’t even a couple was not necessary.  

Youngji realized herself thinking about him more lately. Fortunately, she had packed schedule which needed her to be all cheerful and enthusiastic of everything, so she could avoid herself from being mellow. Once she asked herself about her feeling for him, she couldn’t really answer it. Her sister said that she had also fallen in love with him for sure but she was just worry of many things that may happen in the future if she reached her hand for him, that’s what made her so hard to open her heart for anybody basically. And with that, Youngji believed that her sister knew and understood her so well.

Do I like him? if I do, why am I afraid for what will happen? Why do I speculate for everything? What if he couldn’t protect my heart? What if he couldn’t fight for me? Am I worth enough for him to fight for or to be protected? What if we broke up? I would be so devastating.

Youngji sighed and moved her body uncomfortably in her seat; didn’t realize her manager was observing her.

“Youngji-ah,” manager unnie called her softly; touched her arm. “What happen? Are you okay?”

Youngji turned her head and smiled at her manager, “I’m okay, unnie.” She answered.

“You’re lying.” Manager unnie accused, “why are you sighing heavily? You’re clearly not okay…. Come on, you can talk to me.”

“I’m ok, unnie. I’m just… nervous.”

“Nervous?”

“Yeah… we’re going to meet the important people from First. It’s nerve-wracking.”

“Just that?” She’s squinting in doubt.

“Yes, unnie.” Youngji smiled, tried to ensure her that she’s alright. “I’m okay. Just a little bit tired and nervous. Nothing more.”

“Okay. But, if you have something you are worry about, please tell me. You can talk to me, okay. Maybe I can’t give you the solution but at least you can share a bit of your weary heart.”

Youngji nodded. In reality Youngji didn’t really intent to tell about her problems with her manager because there’s no way she would bother her manager with her personal problem when she also has her own including her busy work in managing Youngji’s schedules. Talking to her sister or her parents was the only option she had at the moment but right now she just needed to be focus on her work.

They arrived at the airport after about forty-five minutes. They took out their entire luggage from the car and started to walk inside the airport. Youngji wore outfit from FIRST, they apparently