“I remember those days

Those days where I would think of a way to escape

The cruel reality that haunts me to the core.

I hate the feeling

Of having someone so close to me that I thought I can trust,

a knife in me and twist it till I’m bleeding all over,

But it seems to him that my blood is what keeps him going,

My screams of pain and agony keep him motivated.

I hate it when my dad is too busy working,

My mum too far gone thanks to alcohol,

Because that’s when he strikes.

I hate to call him my brother.

I hate to have to act normal around him in front of others.

I hate to be related to him because he is a monster.

No one’s ever seen the scars he carved on me,

The internal ones that leave me bleeding forever.

I hate how he took my everything,

My ity, my innocence, my soul

When I still knew nothing of the world

And thought that playground fights were the biggest problems in the world.

How messed up he made me.

How he made sure that he’s carved deep enough in me

Just to make sure that I can never turn back and retaliate.

I hate how,

He forced me to torture stray animals,

Forced me to take their lives,

As he, with his hands clean of their blood,

Stood there and mocked me,

Mocked me for not being able to stand up to him,

Simply because he’s bigger,

Simply because he’s stronger,

Simple because, I just couldn’t.

I hate how he abused me after I found my courage to stand up to him.

I hate him.

He’s no beautiful monster;

He’s one of the worst.

I hate how he had a hold over me,

I hate how he shared me around like I’m trash,

Just because he knew that I wouldn’t tell, wouldn’t rebel.

I hate that all I ever wanted was a loving big brother to look up to,

But got a monster that enslaves me instead.

I hate him, so much.

I hate how,

I’m still not over it.

I hate how my parents never took notice,

I hate how nobody ever cared,

I hate how he had that glint in his eyes whenever he touches me.

I hate how he forced me to be abusive,

Raised me to be violent,

Taught me that torture was appropriate.

I hate him, so so much.

It’s not an excuse,

He’s not an excuse to be violent.

I’m sorry, baby.

I’m sorry, Kibum.

I’m sorry I hit you.

I don’t know what came over me…

Actually,

I guess I do know what came over me.

But I’m really sorry.

I know nothing can erase the past

And I don’t know how to make it up to you,

But I’m really sorry.

I hate how sometimes,

I feel like I’m becoming him.

I hate how sometimes,

I’m violent to those I love.

I hate that I hit you.

I hate myself for hitting you.

I’m sorry I’m not perfect,

I’m sorry that I couldn’t get him out of me,

I’m sorry that all I’m saying sounds like excuses,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.”

You finished your story.

You have no idea how much you just broke my heart.

To know that the gentle, loving you,

Had a past that you can’t escape.

I wipe your tears away and kiss your forehead gently.

I whisper sweet nothings into your ear,

As you cry your heart out on my shoulder,

You arms wrapped around my waist,

Anchoring me to you.

Don’t you know that I’ll never leave?

We’re both broken,

But I know we can be fixed.

You’ll be my mechanic,

I’ll be yours.

You’ll be my doctor,

I’ll be yours.

Because that’s all I’ll ever be.

Yours.

A/N:

There. Jjong's story.

I was going to end this story soon,

But a twist popped up in my mind..

SO I SHALL ADD A TWIST TO THE STORY :D

MUAHAHAHAHAH

*insert Kyuhyun evil laugh*

Anyways, I didn't use a song for this chapter :X

Oh well.

Hope you enjoyed it! :D

Leave me comments!

(And for those who did leave me comments or always do leave me comments, THANK YOU <3)

P/S. I take absolutely no credit for the image used.

P/P/S. Should I rate my fic? Lol idk :\ Tell me if I should!