I wake up but you’re not here

I panic for a second before getting up

Rushing around the apartment looking for you.

I hear you crying and rush to the living room,

The sound of your chest-raking sobs break my heart.

You look up at me in surprise.

I’m instantly by your side,

Holding you while you continue crying.

“She.. she left.”

That’s all you said and I understood.

She,

Who gave birth to you,

Who fed you and raised you,

Has left.

I never got the chance to meet her or thank her.

Thank her, for having you,

For bringing you up to be the person you are today,

The person I love.

I rub soothing circles on your back,

Just like how you did to me.

After you calmed down,

I started crying,

Thinking about how it hurt when I woke up and you weren’t there.

You looked at me and asked me why I’m crying.

And so I told you.

Why would I tell you anything other than the truth anyway?

It took me a second to register the pain on my cheek.

What happened?

I cup the side of my cheek that stung,

I’m still in shock,

Not registering what happened.

Your apologies run by me,

Like a race, but I am left behind.

What?

What’s happening?

Did you..

Did you just hit me?

I finally look at you and your eyes plead me,

Plead me to forgive you.

Then I knew.

You did hit me.

But why?

Did I do something wrong?

Was I being bad again?

Am I really that incapable of doing anything right?

I curled up into a ball and sobbed,

Pushing you away whenever you tried to come and hold me.

I know that this is wrong.

This is abuse, isn’t it?

But you’ve only hit me once.

And you’re trying so desperately to apologize to me.

What am I doing?

What have I gotten myself into?

Will you hit me again?

Should I get myself out of this relationship?

I knew that I would get hurt when I open up to someone.

But how could I resist you?

My mind is telling me to push you out the door,

But my heart..

It tells a different story.

You love me, right?

“Kibum? Please? Listen to me for a minute?”

I hear your voice calling out my name and I stay silent.

Stay silent long enough,

Just enough for you to know to continue what you have to say.

“I want to tell my story.

Will you let me?”

You ask.

I nod,

But you want more.

You want to hold me while you explain.

I let you.

Even though I doubt you,

Even though I’m as confused as ever,

It feels like home for a moment and I relax.

“Never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart

You came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me

and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

You put your arms me and I'm home

How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around?

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling

I'll never let our love get so close

You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved”

I’ll listen,

I’ll listen to you.

I’ll forgive you

(Without needing to know what you’re going to say)

Because I love you.

A/N : 

So as I promised,

Here's the angst! (:

Hope you liked it! :D

Leave me comments (be they good or bad, they both motivate me lots)

I'll update as soon as I can (which will probably be on the weekends)

Song for this chapter :

'Arms' by Christina Perri :D

I love that song! <3