It’s been about half a month since we’ve been together.

You never hurt me again,

Although that dark look at the back of your eyes never left.

I was tip-toeing through our relationship after that ‘incident’.

You claimed that it was only because you were too devastated and I wanted attention at a wrong time.

Part of me blames myself,

Part of me wants to defend myself and walk right out that door.

I don’t know if I’m a coward or if I’ve fallen for you too deeply,

But right now I don’t have any plans or urge to walk away.

Today is like any other morning,

You’re always up way before I am.

I turn around on the bed so that I can see you.

You’re on the balcony,

Your sturdy, solid, strong, masculine back facing me.

I love your back,

It gives me a sense of reliability,

You’re like my support system,

Everything that keeps me grounded.

I climb out of bed, shivering slightly from the cold.

How can you stay outside for so long?

Don’t you feel the cold?

I grab a jacket before sliding the door open.

I wrap the jacket around your shoulders,

Letting my arms stay around you for longer than necessary.

You put on the jacket properly and pull me into your chest,

God it’s so warm in here I don’t ever want to leave.

I feel your breath on the top of my head.

Something’s on your mind, I can tell.

I’ll wait for you to tell me though…

I don’t want to set you off by asking the wrong question at the wrong time again.

“Hey Kibummie?

Let’s go on a date today.”

Date?

Don’t you have to go to work in about an hour?

I keep my silence,

Still afraid that saying either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would set you off.

I would love to say ‘yes’ because I’d love to go on a date with you,

But what if you get mad and say that work is more important and I shouldn’t be selfish?

I’d say ‘no’,

But what if you get mad or hurt

And say that I don’t love you enough?

I’d rather not take the chance.

You seem to sense what I’m thinking.

I hate that because I know how much it hurts you

When you know that I’m afraid of you.

I can’t help it;

It’s a natural defense mode I’ve gone into.

But I also know that you’re sorry,

And I don’t want to let that ‘incident’ ruin us.

I don’t know what to do.

I can’t talk to anyone about it.

If I tell Onew, Minho or Taemin,

They’d beat you up and never let me see you again.

They’re just trying to protect me,

But I’m only trying to protect you,

Protect us.

I don’t want us to part.

You sigh and take a deep breath,

Smelling my hair.

I know you love the smell of it,

That’s why I always make sure that it smells nice after I wash it.

I love keeping you happy.

“Baby?”

I’ll never get tired of you calling me that.

Your voice is so tender,

It sends chills up my spine and a warm feeling throughout my heart.

You affect me with the little things you do,

Do you know that?

When we kiss it feels like I’m in a whole new world;

When you hold my hand it makes me smile like I’m the luckiest man on Earth.

I am though,

Aren’t I?

I have you.

“Come on, let’s go inside.”

You step away,

Take my hand and lead me inside.

Did I mention how much I love it when our fingers are intertwined?

You smile at me and all the doubts for you goes away.

The fear goes away,

For that one moment,

I trust you completely to never hurt me again.

I’ll leave you,

I promised myself.

I’ll leave you if you ever hit me again.

I don’t want to be in an abuse relationship.

But when you smile like that,

With your eyes all crinkled,

How does that thought even cross my mind?

Your hands slide up my tummy.

I love the feeling of your skin against mine;

It feels perfect that way.

Undressing me like I’m made of porcelain,

Like I’m so fragile that I’ll break anytime,

Like I’m the most precious thing in the world to you,

It makes me wonder.

Wonder who you are.

Who’s the man that hit me?

Who is it that treats me so gently,

As if I’m your very life itself?

I don’t know,

I really don’t.

But if I love you,

All of you,

Then I’d have to accept both sides, don’t I?

I can’t just accept the good side of you and hate the other.

I dressed myself again and sat down on the bed.

I can’t take my eyes off your muscles.

I have every part of you memorized like the back of my hand;

Every crevice, every scar,

Every wrinkle, every detail.

You pulled me up from the bed to head out for the date,

And I’m more than happy that you seem to be in a good mood.

Still, I can’t help having this awful feeling right as we were locking up the doors.

Something is going to happen,

My instinct is always right.

I know it.

I can feel it.

And I hate it.

Because I fear something I know nothing of.

A/N :

Hello there..

Sorry I took FOREVER to update D:

I try my best, I really do.

It's just that I hate putting up a chapter I'm not satisfied of.

(Come to think of it I'm not that satisfied with this anyway..)

No song for this chapter..

I think I'm not going to use anymore songs..

Also, just pretend that Jonghyun is taller, k? :P

As always, comment comment comment! :)