I was rather unsettled by Jongin’s words. If he knew, how many others did? Who is Kim Jongin really? Why did he want to piece everything together? I was plagued by these questions the rest of the day. Luckily, Kris was supposed to visit tonight.

When Kris arrived, I hugged him tightly. I had feared that he wouldn’t come tonight or that he would disappear from my life like everyone else did.

“What’s wrong?” We didn’t really do much skinship besides holding hands. Kris and I had an understanding of each other. Although I liked to have things validated I knew that Kris wasn’t used to it.

“Jongin knows,” I whispered. “About what?” “About me saving you and us being together and everything!” “It’ll be okay,” Kris said trying to reassure me, “I thought you wanted to go visit Princess. I’ve been waiting all week to go meet this mysterious little girl that you speak so fondly of. I’d wager you care more about her than me.” I appreciated his efforts but something didn’t feel right.

We sat on the bus to get to the community that Xiumin lived in. It was further from the busier parts of our Side, once upon a time it might’ve been rural but there wasn’t much separating the different sectors these days. It was very much barren with those rare flowers and bits of green. As soon as we got off, Princess was there waiting with Xiumin.

I opened my arms and she ran towards me giving me a big hug. I immediately started to check for anything that was new or different. She seemed happy and healthy, I could see no injuries or signs of anything other than a well-cared for child.

“Xiumin,” I said giving him a hug as I greeted him. I introduced Kris to Xiumin and Princess. Princess took to Kris immediately and Kris was enamoured with her. They got along and Kris played with her. Watching Kris interact with Princess warmed my heart despite being a bit aloof at times, one could see that he had a soft heart.

We spent the day doing various child-friendly activities such as the water park and then a more Western food place for supper. Princess was then due to go to a friend’s sleepover so we dropped her off and decided to spend more time together.

As we walked by a river, Xiumin started to speak of his past. “I wasn’t always part of this Side. Something happened that I was basically exiled. I knew Hana before I was disowned,” he began. “I hadn’t understood the divide and I played often on this Side. I saw how they lived and if you remember times were hard at the beginning and seeing as at home things were so easy I decided to bring food. Not a lot but enough for small mouths to be fed.” The more he shared, the quieter Kris got and as I glanced at Kris I noticed that he was pale. Xiumin continued, “Hana was sick so I decided to steal a syringe of the pre-made medicine that could cure most minor illnesses. I was caught and because it was the beginning, there was still a Council. My father was chairman on the Council so I was made into an example of what would happen if one decided to give aid to this Side.” Kris had suddenly stood still so both Xiumin and I looked back at him. “Kris Wu” he said softly, “Birth name Wu Yi Fan.” Xiumin stared at Kris intently.

“Xiumin? Do you know each other?” I asked quietly.

“Say my name,” Xiumin commanded. Kris stayed silent. “Say my name,” he repeated.

“Kim Minsoek,” Kris whispered so quietly that I thought the wind had spoken.

“Funny, I didn’t expect you to still remember me, especially considering my name was to be banned and never to be spoken in context with me,” Xiumin said dryly. He gave a derisive laugh, “I never thought that I would ever see you again Yi Fan. Not after that night in any case.”

Kris swallowed, he seemed unable to formulate words. “Minsoek…” Kris said so softly that I was almost certain that I had made it up. “Minsoek, please understand…” he was cut off by an enraged Xiumin.

“You stood there. Not a WORD! Not one word for me, your best friend, the person who you claimed to be your brother,” the pent-up rage and resentment of all those years leaked out in each word. “I was a child. I only wanted to help. And when they found out, you couldn’t even try to lie for me.” He paused and continued, “I have waited years to meet you again, and I’m glad that I have been so patient. You know in your heart how much you have done and what you deserve.” Swiftly, he turned his back on Kris and walked away. Somehow despite him doing nothing for the moment I felt that the balance that kept Kris and I close together had shifted once more.

“Kris,” I said quietly hoping to not scare him out of his silence but coax him into talking to me. He didn’t seem to hear me so I walked closer to him, he was facing away from me, I reached out and touched his shoulder. He pulled away violently. “Leave me alone,” his voice was cold. I had never heard him with such a tone.

I walked in front of him and faced him, “Kris, talk to me. What did Xiumin mean?”

He rolled his eyes away from me and looked away in annoyance. “It’s none of your business. It’s not like you could possibly understand my situation or me in general,” he said spitefully. There was a dead look in his eyes that I had never seen before.

“Kris!” I said hurt but angry.

“Just go back to your boring life, where you were content and forget about me. It’s not like you didn’t forget about me the first time. And then the second time, you saw me as a patient, someone you want to fix when you can’t even fix yourself. Don’t think that I don’t know that nightmares haunt you. You don’t keep photos of those in your life and I have to wonder whether or not you have any friends. I should never have come for you. I don’t know what I was trying to achieve. A girl like you could never be with someone like me.”