I don't know if it's good, but yeah. I did it. I got rid of the block. Thank you for the support, thank you for the patience, thank you for staying, and thank you for the supportive messages :)

***

When I gained consciousness again, it felt like dejavu. I woke up to the same beeping sound. The only difference I noticed was I wasn’t in the A&E department like a few days ago. Looking at my surrounding, I realized I was actually in a ward. The walls are in beige. The drape is a creamy colour that kinda reminded me of mushroom soup. When I looked to my right, my arm was again connected to the saline IV drip. I looked up to the ceiling and sighed.

Not again, Sky Lee.

The last thing I wanted to do with my condition right now was getting nagged by the nurse or the doctor. I knew the minute they come into my ward, the nagging will start and I didn’t want to listen to any of those two. However, I knew I need to alert them that I’ve woke up so that they can check my current condition and I can know what exactly happened to me, although I already had a hunch about it. Reluctantly, I reached for the call bell and clicked it. Not even a minute later, a familiar nurse came into my ward with a file, probably containing my profile, charts, and all other medical terms I’m not familiar with. Once she reached my bed, she playfully glared at me.

“Not a word please, eunnie.” I said with closed eyes. “I know I’m at fault okay?”

“Seriously, Sky. Dr Min was this close to give you sleeping pills.” She placed her thumb and index finger almost close to each other. “If it’s legal, we already did it.”

“Do you even have the heart to do that to this cute person?” I winked at her.

My playfulness stopped when I felt a pinch on my side. The nurse laughed when I whined in pain.

“Cute or not, Sky, I’ll still be worked up to see someone I personally know is admitted due to his or her own stubbornness. Dr Min already told you to stay home and rest. Why did you go to the studio?”

“I’m bored at home,” I whined.

I saw her rolled her eyes while writing on the clipboard after checking the monitor.

“Can you just be a good girl for once and listen to us, Sky? You’re into your work too much. Don’t hurt your body more than it can take. You and your body deserve some rest too.”

Seeing the pout still remained on my face, the nurse shook her head and patted my head.

“You never change even after you came back from New York, you know?” the nurse said softly.

After checking my temperature (still higher than normal but not as high as during I fainted), she informed me that I could be discharged tomorrow if I will be a good patient. After making sure she already checked everything required, she patted my head for one last time before she went out. I looked at the door closing slowly. I turned my attention to the ceiling again.

‘Am I hallucinating?’

I asked myself that question over and over again. I wanted to blame the medicine I took before driving to the office just now. It made me see things. However, somewhere deep inside my mind, one of my brain cells just literally slapped me.

Chanyeol was there.

Chanyeol was there at the studio when I fell down.

He’s there.

All of sudden, I felt selfish for wanting to have Chanyeol to myself. I shouldn’t think that Chanyeol didn’t care about me when he didn’t contact me at all since the day I passed out. I know Chanyeol. In the past, Chanyeol will always vanish from the Earth’s surface whenever Yeonhee gets sick since it will be so bad. It will be understandable if he did the same thing again this time. A part of me was thankful Yeonhee still accepted Chanyeol’s help even after everything happened in the past between them. He is one of those who knows about her health condition the most.

Besides, I felt silly for doubting about Chanyeol when he was the one who didn’t want to let me go to work the other day. I clearly remembered how reluctant he was that day to pull his hand away. He was the one taking care of me the night I started to feel feverish. The guilt began to creep inside me. I made mental note to apologise for mistrusting him when I meet him again.

Feeling less woozy, I sat up carefully as I didn’t trust my strength now. Taking a deep breath, I turned to sit at the edge of the bed and stepped slowly towards the small cabinet provided by the hospital to get my mp3 and earphone. Once I lay down again with said items in my palm, I searched for the song I wanted to listen to.

I slowly drifted to sleep with Chanyeol’s gentle, soothing voice singing my favourite lullaby, Calum Scott’s ‘You Are The Reason’, as my warm blanket.

***

The next time I woke up, I saw the sky outside has turned darker. It must be around 8 or 9 pm. I looked at the digital clock attached on the wall. It’s 9.35 pm, to be exact. I sighed before closing my eyes and did a little stretching. I felt ache on my muscles after sleeping for hours on a hard hospital bed. My ears were aching too since I slept with the earphones on. I could still listen to Chanyeol’s voice faintly singing the song.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I realised there’s a presence beside me from the corner of my eyes. My eyes went wide when I saw Yeonhee sitting beside me with reddening and wet eyes. I immediately sat up straight but I regretted to make the quick movement because a minor headache came to me after that. I saw Yeonhee reached for the remote controlling the bed and elevated the head part of the bed. She helped me to lay my back on it. After she put away my mp3 and earphones back at the table beside her, she sat back on the chair.

“Sky, you promised you’ll take care of yourself.”

“Why are you here?” I didn’t answer her question. “I thought you’re not well. You should stay home and rest.”

I felt upset with myself when I saw a pained look on my best friend’s face.

“I can’t visit my own best friend?”

I smiled guiltily at her before apologizing to her. She shook her head, saying she understood. We talked about her current health condition and shared about her latest updates for a few minutes. I was talking about the cats I visited at the cats’ cafe in Gangnam when she suddenly reached for my left hand. I looked at her with a weird smile but the smile flattened when I saw her serious face. One of my eyebrows rose, telepathically asking her action.

“Sky, please don’t get mad at Chanyeol.”

“Uh, why would I get mad though?”

“That night.” She looked at me with guilty eyes. “He was supposed to be there for you.”

“He’s with you, making sure you’re okay. Why would I be mad?”

“He’s supposed to be with you when you’re sick.”

“I can take care of myself. You know that. Chanyeol knows that. So, no biggie. Don’t worry about it. I’m­–” I stopped myself from finishing my own sentence. “Well, I’m not particularly fine at the current moment, but I’ll be fine.”

“But–”

I held her hand tighter. She looked like she wanted to continue what she wanted to say but I stopped her.

“I can completely take care of myself. You don’t have to worry about me. I know how important you are to him. If he takes care of me but he still thinks about you, it will be better if he’s already there for you and take care of you. I’ll be worried too if nobody is there for you. I know your condition, Yeonhee. You can’t be left alone.”

“Sky, please. Listen.”

“What?”

“He’s there for a reason.”

“What do you mean?”

Before Yeonhee could explain herself, her phone rang. She muttered her apology before answering the phone.

“Hey. Where are you? Oh. Yeah, I’m with her. Her ward’s number is 207. Okay. I’ll see you soon. Bye.”

I looked at her, asking her with my eyes.

“You’ll see.”

We stayed in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching the dark, starry sky of Seoul outside the window before we could hear a soft knock on the door. I thought it was the nurse but when the door slid open, it was an unknown man standing behind the door. He bowed slightly towards me which I returned albeit confusedly before walking towards ­­Yeonhee.

“Hello, Sky. I’m glad to finally meet you.”

“Uh, hi there.” I raised my eyebrow towards a bashful Yeonhee. “I wish I could say the same though.”

“Sky.” Yeonhee began with the voice she used when she’s shy. “Meet my boyfriend, Kim Minjun.”

My eyes went wide when she said that. All those things I wanted to say to the both of them stuck inside my throat. I stayed static on my bed listening to Minjun’s explanation. He repeatedly apologised to me for asking Chanyeol to help Yeonhee when I needed Chanyeol’s help more. Minjun said he was the one who usually will take care of Yeonhee when she is sick since he is her boyfriend. Apparently, Yeonhee was already sick when Minjun has to fly to Jeju Island for an urgent work. He couldn’t think of someone else at such short notice except Chanyeol.

“If I knew you were sick too, I won’t ask for Chanyeol’s help. I really am sorry.”

“Hey.” I stopped Minjun immediately. “It’s fine. Things happened. We couldn’t change it. I’m glad you asked for Chanyeol’s help. At least, I know Yeonhee is in good hands when she’s not well. I don’t trust anyone else other than Chanyeol. Besides, now I’m here, safe inside the hospital ward. Doctors and nurses are here to help me if I need anything.”

We all went quiet for a moment before Yeonhee spoke again.

“Actually, Chanyeol is outside.” She said. “He was the one who caught you when you fell just now.”

I scrunched my forehead, thinking about how he knew I was in the studio.

“He said he was on his way to your apartment when Baekhyun called him. He asked Chanyeol to come to the studio and bring you home because he saw you’re looking pale.”

Everything coming out of Yeonhee’s mouth confirmed my assumption earlier.

“You want me to call him in?” Minjun offered.

“No, it’s fine. Let me text him.”

I wanted to get up to get my phone from my bag in the cabinet but Yeonhee was quicker than me. She helped me to get the phone and placed it on my palm. I thanked her before opening the chatting app and sent ‘I know you’re outside. Come in.’ with a smiley to Chanyeol. In a few seconds, I heard the door being opened and the man I love stood there, eyes focused on the floor.

I saw Minjun tapped Yeonhee’s shoulder, signalling it’s time for them to walk out and give privacy to the both of us. Yeonhee hugged me tightly and whispered to me that she will visit again next time. I whispered back ‘you owe me an explanation about Minjun’, making her blushed. She promised she’ll spill everything when we decide the best day for a slumber party for the both of us. They said their goodbyes to Chanyeol, who still keeping his eyes on the floor, and walked out. The surrounding became quiet except for a faint sound from the vehicles outside.

“Yeollie, my fever is not contagious you know? Come here. Sit beside me.” I signalled him to the chair Yeonhee occupied just now.

Chanyeol obediently walked towards the chair and sat there. I looked at him fondly. He looked like a toddler getting caught stealing a cookie. Feeling brave, I stretched my hand towards him and patted his hair.

“Hey.” I began with a gentle voice. “Why aren’t you looking at me?”

“I feel like I’m a bad jerk.” He replied, still looking down.

“If you really are, you won’t be here, right?”

He stayed quiet. I kept caressing his beautiful hair.

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed. “I’m sorry for not being there when you need me.”

“It’s okay, Chanyeol.”

“It’s not okay because if I really care about you, I will be there.” He looked at me with teary eyes.

I didn’t immediately reply. I ran my fingers on his cheek. It’s wet like he has been crying before.

“You do care. I know that, Chanyeol. But Yeonhee needed you more than I do that time. Minjun was not here and he asked for your help. It’s fine.”

“But I still feel bad for not, at least, texting or call you.”

“It’s fine, Yeol. Really.”

He held my hand firmly but not strong enough to hurt me. I never took my eyes off him.

“Yeonhee told me you’re on your way to my apartment before Baekhyun called you. Why?”

“I finally have the courage to visit you. I didn’t come before because I was too afraid I’ll hurt you again if I need to walk out to go back to Yeonhee. I was afraid you’ll push me away again.”

“You know I won’t mind, right? You’re helping my sick best friend. I’m glad you decided to help her instead of coming to me. At least I know she’ll be okay.”

“Why aren’t you mad at me?” He looked at me in disbelief.

“I was,” I confessed. “I was so hurt you didn’t come to me. My heart broke when you didn’t even pick up Sehun’s call. But then, I thought; why am I being selfish? I know how much you care about Yeonhee. I know you’re the only one who can help her when she’s not well. Besides, I know how much you care about me too. Why would I doubt you, the one who was so worried about letting me go to work the other day, right?”

I saw his lips curved into a small smile. I felt relieved seeing that. I, then, continued.

“Chanyeol, for the past months, all you did was convincing me how much you want me, need me. I saw, feel everything. You treated me way differently from five years ago. I can feel the love from you is not like how friends love each other. It’s more than that. I should understand your situation more and not doubting you. I trust you, Chanyeol. I really do.”

I wiped the tears falling from the man’s eyes. I smiled when he kissed my knuckles.

“God, I love you so much, Sky. I hope you know that. I’m so happy you understand me. I still felt so guilty but I’m glad you understand Sky. I love you so, so much. You have no idea how torn I am for having to choose between you and her. I’m glad you understand my situation.”

“I love you too, Yeollie.”

He got up from his seat and sat beside me on the bed. I looked up to him with a bright smile. He leaned down and kissed my forehead so, so gently that a few drops of tears came out from my eyes. He placed his forehead on mine.

“Never doubt me again okay? I care about Yeonhee but it’s like how a big brother cares about his younger sister. You, my love, are my one and only. You won’t push me away right?”

“As long as you’re there, I promise I won’t push you away.”

“I won’t let you go away again, baby. It kills me just by thinking of it.”

I smiled hearing the pet name.

“Then, don’t let me go.”

Chanyeol smiled.

“I love you, Sky Lee.” Chanyeol whispered to my lips. “I promise I won’t lose you again.”

Chanyeol leaned down again, but this time, he placed his lips over mine.