“stop running after him. open your eyes,” namjoon said, “and start looking at me.”

jimin stumbles, his feet staggering as he looked at him with disbelief. is he serious? but himself when his heart did a little fluttering. namjoon’s eyes were glistening from the different lights, the dimness of the room accentuating his features. and jimin thought, he was really attractive, the side of namjoon he failed to notice when he just saw him as a really intelligent yet clumsy friend.

but then, it didn’t change the fact that a big part of his heart, if not whole, was already jin’s.

“whatever, hyung.” jimin grumbles and turns away, walking towards the dance floor. despite feeling that the world was shifting, he sauntered at the middle and moved his body in time of the music. euphoria and light headedness pushes every thought away, just like what he wanted. just like what he was doing for these past weeks. the pain was still there, not subsiding a bit despite trying hard, but at least he doesn’t have any harsh thoughts to deal with.

the music changed into a sensual beat, the ambiance of the room started to get more passionate. bodies started to get closer, hips almost touching others. he closes his eyes from the blinding lights and let the loud music swept him away. blood was fizzing in his ears, heart beating too fast.

seokjin had said back then, that jimin dances so good, alluring even, like some lights were drawing from his fingertips, his body. seokjin said he was beautiful and asked if jimin was trying to seduce him. he said yes. the next thing he knew, they were already at the floor, bodies tangled with each other.

he paused for a moment, remembering how it feels so good to be in his arms, to be loved by him, to be treated like he was the most precious thing he had. and suddenly, on how he wasn’t anymore. so he danced, he moved too carefree, didn’t mind that there were bodies all over him, hands touching his back, hot breathe in his neck. he wasn’t so sure what was happening anymore until someone kissed him. his eyes flew open.

at first, jimin thought it was namjoon but holy , namjoon doesn’t look sickening as this one. he pushed the guy away in horror, face avoiding the persistent lips that lands on his jaw and neck. jimin felt he was going to throw up, from the drinks, or from the overwhelming shock he was in, he doesn’t know anymore. he just wanted to get out of here. someone. save me.

before jimin could even try to push the guy again, a harsh force pulled him away, and landed a fist in his face. it was namjoon, rage focused on the guy who was on the floor now. namjoon knelt above the body, punching the guy until blood oozed from his nose and lips.

jimin remembered to move and pull namjoon away. “hyung, let’s go.”

he didn’t seem to hear him when he pulled the guy’s collar and furiously shouted, “who the do you think you are, huh? don’t mess with him or I will kill you!”

jimin pulled and called namjoon again. “hyung! please! let’s get out of here!”

as if out of his trance, his angry features softened and looked at jimin with worry. he didn’t talk and just removed his coat and placed it on jimin’s shoulders. his hands surrounded jimin and they walked to the car, his gentle hands holding him.

he starts the engine and started to drive. jimin looked at his bloody hands on the maneuver. “I’m sorry, hyung.” he said quietly.

namjoon didn’t answer.

tears filled his eyes and he looked to the window, buildings and city lights blurring. “get mad. say something. don’t treat me with silence.”

namjoon growls and drove a little faster, scaring the s out of jimin. namjoon doesn’t get this mad, or maybe he hasn’t just seen him like this. after a while, he stopped somewhere. namjoon gets out of the car and opened the door on jimin’s side. he went out silently and the cool and salty breeze filled his nose. the sea.

“come on.” namjoon mumbles and guided him through the sand, his shoes sinking half an inch. they sat in a nearby store, it was already closed but thankfully, there were lights outside.

jimin just sat there, staring at the vast darkness beyond. he was still engulfed by anger, fear, pain, stress, and everything came crashing at him all at once. he can’t stop the sob that escaped in his lips, the dread in his chest pushing the heavy tears in his eyes. funny how he thought that maybe in weeks of crying, there would be no more for him to shed. but here he is, like a pathetic child crying over his heartaches.

namjoon wraps his arms around him, gently caressing his hands on his back. he didn’t say anything, just pressed his warm body all around him as if he wants to share the pain jimin was into. and heck, if that didn’t feel so nice.

when jimin stopped from crying, they both just stared at the sea, and listened as the waves crashes on the shore. it was really dark, endless, and jimin felt he was in the middle with nowhere to go.

“did he hurt you?” namjoon asked after a while.

jimin shook his head. “no. I’m fine.” and silence filled them again. then feeling so guilty as he looked at his hands caked now with dried blood, he added, “I’m sorry for being stupid.”

namjoon chuckles slightly and smiled at him, dimples appearing in his cheeks. “yeah, you should. but I was really aching to try my boxing skills, glad there’s someone around willing to be my punching bag.”

“does it hurt?” he mumbles.

“a little. the er’s face was too thick and hard.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“stop saying sorry. it’s already fine.” namjoon grumbles, “you’re so stupid, I can’t believe myself.”

“what?”

the smile was wiped away in his face and he suddenly looked so serious. he looked away from jimin and looked at the sky instead. “when I’ve let you walked to the crowd when you brushed away what I said like it was nothing, I felt so relieved. from the guilt, maybe or from the doubt, I don’t know. jin was my bestfriend. and you love him so much even if the thought of him alone hurts you. then suddenly, bam.” namjoon looks at jimin with sad yet determined eyes, “I’ve suddenly fell for you without even a single warning.”

jimin did an undignified noise and intakes a lot of air as if his lungs wanted more and more, shifting uncomfortable on his seat. he isn’t used to this. but namjoon just laughed at him like he just did something cute. to tell anyone, he didn’t.

“believe me, I didn’t expect this. you were a friend, a stupid friend,” jimin scowls and namjoon laughs again, “and you were my bestfriend’s boyfriend. I tried to fight it, I feel like it isn’t right. saying this to you makes me guilty, too like somehow I was doing something wrong with jin behind his back even if you aren’t together now.” namjoon sighs and looks away again. he was clasping his hands together and if his cheeks were red from the drinks earlier or this confession, jimin doesn’t know. “but when I saw how that guy touched you and him, when he kissed you, all the sane reasoning flew away from my head and all I just wanted was to pull you away from him and beat him like crazy. which I really did.” they both laughed and namjoon glanced and smiled a little in him. “the only thing that goes in my head was, ‘no one should have jimin other than me. everyone, jin.’ and that’s how I realized I shouldn’t really fight these annoying feelings for you. because what I said earlier applies to me, too. you just love and it isn’t wrong.”

jimin fell silent, pondering on the words namjoon had said. he doesn’t know how to deal with this. his heart ache for him, because he knows how hard it is to say your feelings to someone. and even if he wanted so hard for his heart to turn for namjoon, it keeps beating for jin. and that hurts because he can’t break someone’s heart knowing how hard it is to deal with it. “hyung—“

namjoon abruptly stood up and inserted his hands on his pockets. “jimin, it’s okay. I don’t expect you to answer now, much less return my feelings. I don’t want to add to your burdens but I feel like I had to let you know. life is too short so at least I’ve said this one to you. and remember me even for a little, even just at the corner of your mind, everytime you think of jin. because again, like what I’ve said earlier, I want you to start looking at me.” he smiled at jimin and pulled a handkerchief, handing it to him. “will you please wipe your lips? I’m still mad thinking someone kissed you. and he looked like a shrimp with octopus’ lips.”

jimin laughs heartily and even if tears still fell from his eyes, he was glad. he was glad that he could still have a laugh that was true after all.

and that isn’t because of jin anymore.

omg did u like it I hope u do

i also hope you like minjoon because they are so precious