“jimin…”

“no.”

“jiminnieeee”

“I said no.”

“jagiya!”

“do you think I’ll—“

“I love you!”

jimin struggles to open his eyes, it feels like glued together. he automatically shuts his eyes again and groans when the light that goes through the open window blinded him for a moment. squinting through his lashes, he pulled up the sheets up to his chin and yawns. he tries again and blinks consecutively, eyes adjusting to the brightness of the room.

looking around, he felt a heavy weight in his chest. like something is wrong, something is missing. jimin’s sure he had locked the door that night before proceeding to the kitchen and eating cold dinner. after washing the dishes and brushing his teeth, he went straight to his room and dropped at the bed. it had been his routine, doing the very same thing repeatedly.

and then he remembered jin.

remembered him when jimin shouldn’t.

his eyes felt warm and tears started to stream in his cheeks. it’s been days, (or was it weeks? jimin doesn’t know anymore) since the last time he saw jin. looking so damn good in shirt and jeans, hair a little wet from the rain and sitting on the opposite of jimin, back hunched from exhaustion. exhausted in him? in their relationship? maybe. because jin never sit in jimin’s opposite. he was always at his side, said he always wanted to be near to him, to feel him, to hold his hand, to touch his flushed cheeks, to see how nice his side profile is and a hundred more reasons jin said whenever jimin asks.

so maybe the time jimin saw him at the corner of the shop, he had known by then. but he didn’t want to believe it. he wanted to hear it from him. maybe his dog has died, jin loves dogs.

he loves pink, he loves eating, he loves singing and once upon a time, he loves jimin.

but not anymore.

and that hurts like hell more than anything. when every morning he would wake up and he wouldn’t hear his voice to say goodmorning. his nagging wouldn’t be all over the apartment when jimin gets sick. nor his cooking would be there whenever he feels down. not anymore.

jin already decided to walk out of his life.

he already met someone, right? someone that treats him better, loves him more than jimin does, makes him laugh more than the jokes jimin tried to pull off.

but was it enough for jin to just leave? to say they should break up because they won’t work anymore and he already met someone? the whole time they were inside a relationship, jimin did everything he could to show how much he loves jin that sometimes, it hurts already. what is it that he lacks? did he do something wrong? how did it come to this?

jin shouldn’t have gave him an extra slice of cheesecake on that day. he shouldn’t have sat beside him and told him how cute he was while eating. or that jimin should come back tomorrow for another slice of cake for free. jin shouldn’t have made him fall in love with him if… if his love wasn’t strong enough for him to fight for them.

and jimin shouldn’t have let him.

“but what can I do?” jimin mumbles at the silence of the apartment.

his sight was so blurry that he had to blink the tears away. back then, jin would gently wipe his cheeks and stay with his side, waiting for him to tell him what’s wrong. he would wear party hats and buy him balloons on his birthdays. he would kiss him occasionally, said he really just wanted to or even without any reason at all.

how can they go back to those days when everything was so perfect?

jimin almost flinched when his phone rang. he doesn’t have the strength to run his hands on the bedside table and grab it to see who’s calling. in fact, jimin doesn’t care anymore.

after a while, it went to voicemail.

“jimin…”

his heart may have skipped a lot of beats and his lungs may have forgotten to get some air, because hell, he feels like dying. it was seokjin’s voice, calling his name. jimin doesn’t care if they hadn’t use any endearments. he loves how jin says his name, love how it falls beneath his lips. if it’s jin, everything seems so different.

“are you at your apartment? do you have this phone? have you eaten yet?” jin asks in a worried voice and jimin felt so heavy like he was being crushed and his head pounded so painful. why would jin ask and care when they weren’t together anymore? why would he do that to him? why would he hurt him more?

“I’m… sorry.” jin said after a while as if he could hear jimin’s thoughts. “for everything. for hurting you, for leaving, for doing this. but I want you to know that I still care for you. no matter what we are now, I will always care for you. talk to me when… when you’re ready. don’t cut me from your life, please. this is a selfish request from me, so I won’t expect you to, but please.” he breaths heavily on the other line like it was hard for him, too. “I miss you.”

then the line went dead and silence fell in his apartment.

his heart break a little more and prayed the tears could wash the pain away. it was… really over.

no more jin.

and heck. if that didn’t feel so damn painful.

ok it was sad :(