jimin wakes up on another morning and swears harshly. with his aching neck and shoulders because of falling asleep on the couch, the painful pounding of his head after drinking too much and his breaking heart that he wished he could just tear off the damn thing from his chest, he swears some more. opening his eyes were becoming harder and harder every time and the resolve to live lessens. what’s there to do when there’s hardly any reason to?

his eyes ran through the table, bottles of soju knocked over, and his phone… his phone ringing. so this is what wake him up. jimin shouldn’t forget to put it in silent again. groaning, he picked it up and answered the call. “zup.”

“JIMIN!”

he had to pull the phone away for a moment from his ears because someone ing shouted his name on the other line. who the do that in… he glances on the clock, 3 in the afternoon? so he slept that long? “what?”

“DON’T WHAT ME!” the voice shouted again and it was familiar but his mind was clouded and he doesn’t care who might that is. maybe if it’s… jimin groans. “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME AGAIN? IT’S BEEN THREE WHOLE DAYS!”

he sighs. “yeah, yeah. obviously, I’m fine but in a short moment, my ears would be bleeding. stop, shouting, will you?”

jimin heard him sigh. “I’m just worried about you.” he was exhausted and sad, and finally, he remembered who owns that voice. hoseok. the ever-caring hoseok. jimin should stop acting like a jerk.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I just woke up.”

“it’s okay, jiminnie but please, call me even once a day so I would know you’re okay. the other day, you said, you’d call but you didn’t. and you’re not answering my calls. I went to your apartment yesterday and you weren’t there and your apartment was a mess. I thought something happened!” hoseok stopped speaking to drew some air and jimin guesses his other hand was in his waist, like a mother nagging at his child. “do you know how worrying that is?”

“yeah, hyung and I’m sorry. I just went out yesterday and didn’t came back until it was almost sunrise. as for the apartment, I don’t really have that much time to clean.” or any to care.

“where did you go?”

“i…” jimin pauses and looks at the wall, fumbling on the words and thoughts he should say. he doesn’t want him to think how stupid he is but at the same time, he can’t lie to him. and hoseok have known him almost all of his life, he trusts him to understand. “I went to… jin’s apartment.”

a long silence fell on the other line. for a moment, jimin thought hoseok would start yelling again but after a while, he sighs like saying it’s already done, don’t get mad. and jimin thanked him for it. he already had too much anger to himself. “why did you do that?” he asked in an empathizing tone.

jimin felt his eyes started to get warm and he closes his trembling hand. “I just wanted to see him. maybe not for the last time because I know I’d probably do it again and again but it’s just…” he swallows a lump on his throat and continued, “I miss him. and I want to talk to him. maybe ask what can I do to get him back.”

“and? what happened?”

“he wasn’t there. I waited for hours but he didn’t come so I had to ask the landlady but she said jin wasn’t home for days now. said that maybe he’s on a vacation.” and God, tears fell silently again and he didn’t even bother wiping them away. what’s the use of doing that? will the pain go away with it? no.

“jimin… stop doing this. you’re already hurting. stop hurting yourself more.”

“I don’t know, hyung. I want to see him.”

hoseok huffs. “then ask namjoon. they’re bestfriends. he should know.”

namjoon… yeah, why didn’t he thought of that? “I will. thank you, hyung. I promise, I’ll call you and stop worrying you.”

“you should.” hoseok said and jimin felt him smiling on the phone. he ends the call after a list of reminder from hoseok then proceeded on calling namjoon. after the third ring, he answered. “hyung!”

“oh, jimin. finally, you called. what happened?” he asks in a worried voice.

“it’s nothing, hyung. I’m okay. I just have something to ask. is jin with you?” jimin’s voice was excited, heck, he was too happy seeing that he has hopes on talking again to jin.

“jin?” he pauses. “nah. I’m at home.”

“do you know where he is?”

“mm, the last time I saw him, he said he was meeting someone and they’re going somewhere. I think its daegu.”

jimin stopped breathing. what the is this?

“wait. are you at daegu? is jin with you and suddenly went missing? he just suddenly does that.”

“no, hyung.” jimin replied. disappointment and hurt were apparent in his low voice, even him could feel pity on himself. why can’t he just ing give up on getting him back? “hyung, let’s drink.” he said after a while.

“now?”

“yeah.”

“okay, I’ll just finish this in a moment. I’ll pick you up there at six.”

“yeah. thanks.”

namjoon arrived almost by 7, and said the traffic was horrible but jimin guessed that he’d just been so into creating music again. he drove silently to the bar they usually went, namjoon glancing to him once in a while but refraining from asking questions.

dancing laser lights in time of the heavy music and the smell of smoke and sweat welcomed them as soon as he set foot inside. the club was packed, the dance floor full of sweaty people swaying with the music beats, some rubbing their bodies shamelessly on the other, some kissing without a care in the world. they went straight to the bar and found empty seats on the side, where there aren’t so much moving bodies. they ordered drinks and jimin hastily downed the alcohol poured by namjoon. “hey will you slow down a bit? we just arrived!” he shouted against the loud music.

“it’s fine, hyung.” jimin shouted back and poured namjoon’s glass. “just drink and enjoy.”

jimin drank and drank, watching the people at the middle having fun until he lost count of the times he pulled the glass towards his lips and the alcohol down on his throat. the world started to tilt and blur, but he looks at namjoon who was, surprisingly, still looks okay. was he really drinking? “hyung,” he called, “why do you look so good?” jimin laughs absentmindedly and reached for the bottle but namjoon pulled it away. “give me that back!”

“stop drinking first and talk to me.” he said seriously and jimin snorts and mumbled “you’re no fun, hyung” but namjoon ignored his reaction. “what happened?”

“happened?” jimin laughs despite the tightening in his chest feels like it was going to kill him, “ happened, hyung. one day, I was so happy and thankful having the man I love so much at my side. I was almost this close on getting married and then the next, I was falling apart. because the very same man that I love and trusted with my heart decided to leave me. left me for another person and gave his love that was once mine.” he laughs some more, hoping to drown the pain from the false exhilaration.

“jimin… one day, it’s going to be okay.” namjoon said.

“okay?” jimin waves his hands in mockery. “no, it won’t, hyung! because as long as I love him, it’s not okay. because it hurts and I can’t do anything to lessen the pain.” he sat straighter and curses when the room began moving again and eyes blurring, everything becoming just a ray of lights. “what did I do wrong to feel this? am I not enough? was he tired being with me?”

“hey,” namjoon leans and gently wipes his damp cheeks. he didn’t even notice he was already crying. “you’re a wonderful person. don’t think of not being enough or him leaving for you doing something wrong because you didn’t. it was his own choice.”

“and that’s the problem, hyung. he chose to leave me when he used to love me and promise me that he would stay beside me forever.” he pressed his forehead on the table. he was so tired of telling and asking these questions to himself. “why is our forever too short?” jimin blinks and warm streams of tears fell.

namjoon sighs, probably running out of reasons and words to say but he gently patted his head. “then that means he wasn’t for you. him getting out of your life means he’s not the right person. because the right person stays no matter how hard the situation became or how tiring your relationship is.”

“he was the right person for me once.”

“yes, I know. and your choices isn’t wrong. you just loved him. in this part of your life, you just love and it isn’t wrong.”

he fell silent and looked at the floor, mulling over namjoon’s words. he was always good with some philosophical s out of nowhere so he was really grateful he had the time to talk to him seriously. “but I still love him, hyung. I think I will always love him.”

it was namjoon’s turn to fell silent. he grabbed a drink and sips from it, leaning back on the leather chair. they both watched the people dancing at the middle, and after a while, jimin gets up to join. he was a few steps from the crowd when he heard namjoon called his name. he was all serious, putting the glass down on the table.

“stop running after him. open your eyes,” he said.

“and start looking at me.”

omg I just started with minjoon yay omg omg omg omg omg omg I love minjoon pls love them too

anyways this chapter became too long jsfbdshfbshd

but seriously MINJOON